Name: Bill Burr _ My Agressively Progressive And Woke Girlfriend Dumped Me! [Advice]
Uploaded: 2022-09-11T10:52:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr _ My Agressively Progressive And Woke Girlfriend Dumped Me! [Advice]' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr _ My Agressively Progressive And Woke Girlfriend Dumped Me! [Advice]' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-11. Transcript available.

aggressively woke girlfriend dumped me all right dear billy the i hate when you
guys give me
nicknames that i don't understand bella because i feel like it's a good joke
and i'm ruining it
bella cosco binging bitch now i gotta look up bella cosco the fuck is that is
there something
that i should know is there something i should know all right b-e-l-i-c-o-s-o
bella cosco oh traditionally a short pyramid shaped cigar with a shorter more
rounded taper
at the head uh is that what i call a torpedo oh i like it oh there you go there
you go i think i get
it well torpedo i think it's the other ones that are tapered at both ends all
right why are you
bringing up cigars you make me fucking go smoke here right uh i thought they
said my tits it says my
title is a bit of a is a bit of clickbait but i got you this far so no regrets
um oh it's a bit of
clickbait well andrew reads these so i mean if this is just a long boring one
because i usually find
that that's what clickbait is it's just fucking boring all right my girlfriend
or i guess my ex
girlfriend now is a very good person and absolutely beautiful brilliant and
caring
fuck i'm sorry i can't stop yawning here we are in medical school together
and we're dating for two years everything was great initially we had oh my god
can you imagine
the combined student loan debt you guys would have we had deep conversations
and were each other's
best friends so when it came time to pick a hospital for rotations we chose one
in her hometown
and decided to move in together what could go wrong this sounds great so far
she was actually the
stronger voice in asking for the move for the move in i was down to do it but i
didn't want
to upset her old school catholic parents because i figured that i should be on
their good side
if i proposed in a year or two that said for the past few months she has gotten
more and more
progressive to an intense degree we started having political fights and i
really didn't feel heard
i'm left wing but not as far as her oh for example my dad's mentally handicapped
cousin
he had a virus when he was little that messed up his brain runs a liquor store
in this state that i'm
not going to say i just don't like getting people in trouble here uh it got
burned down on the second
night of protesting writing after the george floyd after george floyd got
murdered our classmates
were talking about police violence on our school message board so i posted that
i'm all for black
lives matter and the message um systematic racism is awful and needs to be
stopped but this violence
has gotten out of hand and needs to end i just asked for things to be done
peacefully yeah well you're
kind of confusing the rioters with the black lives matter people that were
protesting you know and
you're always going to have morons all right there's people on the right
politically that you can
have a conversation with and then there's fucking morons running around with
their dick out in
their four-wheeler talking about freedom right and then you got on the left you
got fucking people
that you can intelligent people you can have a fucking conversation with and
then you get these
fucking i don't know what the fuck you want to call them these people like you
know you should
dress your son in pink and give him a fucking flower just like i don't know
what the fuck they're
talking about all right she then comes over to me in our bedroom and launches
into this thing about how saying that i'm diminishing the movement and i need
to not
say these things to other people yeah see this is where it gets you what you
shouldn't say what
you feel um how i need to understand the pain of black people the pain black
people are going
through and offer support how it's not time for my comments because i'm white
and have never had
never felt systematic oppression uh on on my side i'm pissed my dad and uncle
are now taking care of
their cousin who has had very little income due to covid and now doesn't even
have a shop plus there's
some issues with insurance because being covered for fire and theft is
different from being covered for
a riot i don't really get the financial details but i do know that my dad has
had to postpone his
retirement because of all of this he's 70 years old and is still working to
provide for my family of
seven i told her i have a right to be angry and voice my opinions too i also
pointed out that calling
for peace is not disagreeing with the protesters message uh i'm jewish and have
experienced my fair
share of anti-semitism the anger i feel towards anti-semites would never be an
excuse to commit a violent act
against someone um okay but in fairness like the level of violence towards
black i don't think that
jewish people just get pulled over for being jewish you know i mean
historically obviously you've been
through some shit but you know as far as your existence in this country you
know what i mean
if you're gonna if you're gonna if you're gonna look at like march madness you
know what are you ranked in
what are you ranked in the brackets all right i would say you're about an 11
seat
um anyways we've had other fights over things like feminism uh 16th seed um oh
jesus i'm gonna get
shit for this i'm all for equally uh equality between sexes and want to do my
part like taking
on more child rearing responsibility when i have kids hey be careful with that
buddy be careful with
this because these fucking smart ass women have basically downloaded a bunch of
shit that they
don't want to do anymore and have not uploaded any of our shit jobs so the guys
kept all of their
shit jobs and now are picking up their shit shifts also and then they're
fucking sitting over there they
won't even make you a fucking sandwich anymore um anyways but i refuse to label
myself as a feminist
because i think there's a lot of negative man-hating ideologies associated with
that group it
absolutely is they're guilty of a lot of the things that they're against not
cool feminists
ones you can actually talk to they're very rare like a cool sports fan that
could admit that his team
uh you know got beat by a better team it's very rare you know i'm a bit of a cunt
when it comes to
being a sports fan um i'm just a bit of a cunt in general anyways uh she is
firm that if i support
women i need to label myself as a feminist this fucking chick dude fuck this
chick
fuck this chick otherwise i'm denigrating her beliefs i responded that i am a
firm supporter of
israel's right to exist but i would never label myself as a zionist because i
think the treatment of
the palestinians has been horrendous all right dude you're really coming off
like a fucking level-headed
person here um granted i haven't been able to hear what your uh your hormone
says here
your property kidding uh this all came to a head the other day when after
another one of these
political fights she dumped me and went back to her parents place now i'm
paying the full rent on an
apartment that's way out of my price range because she insisted on a two-bedroom
in a city where i don't
know anybody i'm thousands of miles from my friends and family and as a kicker
her dad is a chief is a
chief attending at the hospital we're going to be rotating at and either he or
one of his colleagues
he will be directly in control of my first clerkship grade he's a very nice guy
and has always been kind
to me but i still feel like i'm i have no idea how he interpreted our breakup
and obviously had no control
and obviously have no control over his response the worst part is i miss her a
lot and i'm more sad than
angry uh underneath all of this i think the wolf stuff is an excuse to be mad
at me
yeah i was kind of saying this is sort of a weird thing to break up with
somebody over
so she either wanted to do it or just went off the deep end which happens to
people i went off
the deep end in the late 2000s early to go back and listen to those podcasts
and i was just talking
about the federal reserve and all of this crazy shit still don't think i'm
wrong but i mean that's
that's not a place you want to be mentally and it it just wears people out
around you um
anyways i she has been upset about my lack of effort in our relationship for a
few months
she constantly comments on how i don't take her on dates anymore which has been
hard to do with
covid but honestly i have no excuse dude yes you do you're in medical school
you're in a two-bedroom expensive goddamn thing you guys are both buried in
student loans
the fuck is wrong with this person i i don't know dude i i think you know once
you get past this
bullshit you listen if if you have a shot in hell at making a relationship work
you got to find a
sweetheart all right yeah this this is uh this is the way you've written this
this is nuts um anyways
i could have done more and i could have been more invested i fucked up in that
regard also her parents
are very religious so i think moving in with me was a culture shock and
although she was the only one
really pushing for the move in i think it got scary because that leap is a huge
separation from her
parents or her childhood culture anyways any advice you or nia could lend would
be much appreciated i have
no idea what i'm going to do for the next year i'm going to tell you exactly
what the you're going to do
all right you're going to go down to that hospital and regardless of how her
dad treats you you're
going to absolutely crush it that's what you're going to do okay and what you're
going to prove to
that man is that her daughter was out of her mind to break up with you now i'm
not saying brown nose
i'm just saying go in there and kick the out of the job i would even maybe i
don't know address what
happened just be like hey sorry things didn't work i mean she dumped you though
so i don't know i would
just go in there it's a year of your life kick ass at the job no matter what
mind game if the guy decides to play a mind game which would be really childish
all right but you
never know a dad with his daughter who the knows right he might even been
behind the breakup you have
no idea or or there's a whole other way he might know that she's out of her
mind who knows all right
but i wouldn't bring any baggage call the guy doctor so-and-so whatever you
know something if he
wants to fucking bring it up let him fucking bring it up and uh i would like i
said i would just
absolutely fucking crush it there you know you can always break a lease you can
always get a
fucking roommate i'm sure you're gonna meet somebody get a fucking roommate do
not
fucking get another girlfriend this quick and get him in there i wouldn't do
that either i would just
get another fucking roommate you know i don't know do the prison workout keep
yourself in shape
and uh i don't know if you still really like this chick maybe keep like a open
mind but i
you know you definitely got to draw some lines and get some boundaries if you're
going to get back
together all right just tell us straight up like listen you were a sweetheart
and i wanted to spend
the rest of my life with you and i definitely dropped the ball in some areas
which i believe we've
covered you know because god knows she read you the riot act but you can
reiterate them so she can feel
validated and then you can delve into her and just be like yeah listen you know
this world according
to garb fucking lunatic that you've gone on to i don't she's not gonna
understand that reference
whatever the references okay you know i haven't arrived i have a uh i'm a human
being
and i have all emotions and i have access to all of them and i have a right to
feel them
okay and if i extend that courtesy to you you need to extend it to me and that's
it and if i can be
adult enough to listen to your opinion that i do not agree with
okay but i'll be mature enough to understand that you're allowed to have that
opinion
then you need to do that to me and if you can't do that i'm not starting this
over again and i'll
tell you this right now buddy that's the best you're gonna do with that one all
right because this happens
with people as they they get into and they go off the deep end god knows i've
done it um
and it's not fair to the people in your life so sorry that happened to you good
luck but here's the
thing dude at the end of all of this fucking shit you're gonna be a doctor okay
and it's always sad
right after somebody breaks up with you but you never know you might get back
together or you might not
get back together and one day you're gonna sit back and be like what the was i
doing in that thing
putting up with that level of telling me what i can and can't think i mean that
chick is out of her mind the way you wrote it you know although you're not
allowed to say that
nowadays you're supposed to say that she's really strong you know what it was
you weren't a strong
enough man to handle her telling you what your opinion should be jesus christ
what kind of world
are we living in what kind of world are we living in that gets taken away from
people
you know some of this bull like i i don't know i try to dance around this
because i don't
want to get involved in this stuff but you know i i don't get this i i just i
don't understand what
the goes on with these uh i don't we'll just leave it that with this whole woke
thing
this whole woke thing remember that that was like uh like black people came up
with that and somehow
white people hijacked it it's just a way to fucking you know it's just this way
to just show what a
great person they are with without really doing anything

Bill Burr _ My Agressively Progressive And Woke Girlfriend Dumped Me! [Advice]

aggressively woke girlfriend dumped me all right dear billy the i hate when you
guys give me
nicknames that i don't understand bella because i feel like it's a good joke
and i'm ruining it
bella cosco binging bitch now i gotta look up bella cosco the fuck is that is
there something
that i should know is there something i should know all right b-e-l-i-c-o-s-o
bella cosco oh traditionally a short pyramid shaped cigar with a shorter more
rounded taper
at the head uh is that what i call a torpedo oh i like it oh there you go there
you go i think i get
it well torpedo i think it's the other ones that are tapered at both ends all
right why are you
bringing up cigars you make me fucking go smoke here right uh i thought they
said my tits it says my
title is a bit of a is a bit of clickbait but i got you this far so no regrets
um oh it's a bit of
clickbait well andrew reads these so i mean if this is just a long boring one
because i usually find
that that's what clickbait is it's just fucking boring all right my girlfriend
or i guess my ex
girlfriend now is a very good person and absolutely beautiful brilliant and
caring
fuck i'm sorry i can't stop yawning here we are in medical school together
and we're dating for two years everything was great initially we had oh my god
can you imagine
the combined student loan debt you guys would have we had deep conversations
and were each other's
best friends so when it came time to pick a hospital for rotations we chose one
in her hometown
and decided to move in together what could go wrong this sounds great so far
she was actually the
stronger voice in asking for the move for the move in i was down to do it but i
didn't want
to upset her old school catholic parents because i figured that i should be on
their good side
if i proposed in a year or two that said for the past few months she has gotten
more and more
progressive to an intense degree we started having political fights and i
really didn't feel heard
i'm left wing but not as far as her oh for example my dad's mentally handicapped
cousin
he had a virus when he was little that messed up his brain runs a liquor store
in this state that i'm
not going to say i just don't like getting people in trouble here uh it got
burned down on the second
night of protesting writing after the george floyd after george floyd got
murdered our classmates
were talking about police violence on our school message board so i posted that
i'm all for black
lives matter and the message um systematic racism is awful and needs to be
stopped but this violence
has gotten out of hand and needs to end i just asked for things to be done
peacefully yeah well you're
kind of confusing the rioters with the black lives matter people that were
protesting you know and
you're always going to have morons all right there's people on the right
politically that you can
have a conversation with and then there's fucking morons running around with
their dick out in
their four-wheeler talking about freedom right and then you got on the left you
got fucking people
that you can intelligent people you can have a fucking conversation with and
then you get these
fucking i don't know what the fuck you want to call them these people like you
know you should
dress your son in pink and give him a fucking flower just like i don't know
what the fuck they're
talking about all right she then comes over to me in our bedroom and launches
into this thing about how saying that i'm diminishing the movement and i need
to not
say these things to other people yeah see this is where it gets you what you
shouldn't say what
you feel um how i need to understand the pain of black people the pain black
people are going
through and offer support how it's not time for my comments because i'm white
and have never had
never felt systematic oppression uh on on my side i'm pissed my dad and uncle
are now taking care of
their cousin who has had very little income due to covid and now doesn't even
have a shop plus there's
some issues with insurance because being covered for fire and theft is
different from being covered for
a riot i don't really get the financial details but i do know that my dad has
had to postpone his
retirement because of all of this he's 70 years old and is still working to
provide for my family of
seven i told her i have a right to be angry and voice my opinions too i also
pointed out that calling
for peace is not disagreeing with the protesters message uh i'm jewish and have
experienced my fair
share of anti-semitism the anger i feel towards anti-semites would never be an
excuse to commit a violent act
against someone um okay but in fairness like the level of violence towards
black i don't think that
jewish people just get pulled over for being jewish you know i mean
historically obviously you've been
through some shit but you know as far as your existence in this country you
know what i mean
if you're gonna if you're gonna if you're gonna look at like march madness you
know what are you ranked in
what are you ranked in the brackets all right i would say you're about an 11
seat
um anyways we've had other fights over things like feminism uh 16th seed um oh
jesus i'm gonna get
shit for this i'm all for equally uh equality between sexes and want to do my
part like taking
on more child rearing responsibility when i have kids hey be careful with that
buddy be careful with
this because these fucking smart ass women have basically downloaded a bunch of
shit that they
don't want to do anymore and have not uploaded any of our shit jobs so the guys
kept all of their
shit jobs and now are picking up their shit shifts also and then they're
fucking sitting over there they
won't even make you a fucking sandwich anymore um anyways but i refuse to label
myself as a feminist
because i think there's a lot of negative man-hating ideologies associated with
that group it
absolutely is they're guilty of a lot of the things that they're against not
cool feminists
ones you can actually talk to they're very rare like a cool sports fan that
could admit that his team
uh you know got beat by a better team it's very rare you know i'm a bit of a cunt
when it comes to
being a sports fan um i'm just a bit of a cunt in general anyways uh she is
firm that if i support
women i need to label myself as a feminist this fucking chick dude fuck this
chick
fuck this chick otherwise i'm denigrating her beliefs i responded that i am a
firm supporter of
israel's right to exist but i would never label myself as a zionist because i
think the treatment of
the palestinians has been horrendous all right dude you're really coming off
like a fucking level-headed
person here um granted i haven't been able to hear what your uh your hormone
says here
your property kidding uh this all came to a head the other day when after
another one of these
political fights she dumped me and went back to her parents place now i'm
paying the full rent on an
apartment that's way out of my price range because she insisted on a two-bedroom
in a city where i don't
know anybody i'm thousands of miles from my friends and family and as a kicker
her dad is a chief is a
chief attending at the hospital we're going to be rotating at and either he or
one of his colleagues
he will be directly in control of my first clerkship grade he's a very nice guy
and has always been kind
to me but i still feel like i'm i have no idea how he interpreted our breakup
and obviously had no control
and obviously have no control over his response the worst part is i miss her a
lot and i'm more sad than
angry uh underneath all of this i think the wolf stuff is an excuse to be mad
at me
yeah i was kind of saying this is sort of a weird thing to break up with
somebody over
so she either wanted to do it or just went off the deep end which happens to
people i went off
the deep end in the late 2000s early to go back and listen to those podcasts
and i was just talking
about the federal reserve and all of this crazy shit still don't think i'm
wrong but i mean that's
that's not a place you want to be mentally and it it just wears people out
around you um
anyways i she has been upset about my lack of effort in our relationship for a
few months
she constantly comments on how i don't take her on dates anymore which has been
hard to do with
covid but honestly i have no excuse dude yes you do you're in medical school
you're in a two-bedroom expensive goddamn thing you guys are both buried in
student loans
the fuck is wrong with this person i i don't know dude i i think you know once
you get past this
bullshit you listen if if you have a shot in hell at making a relationship work
you got to find a
sweetheart all right yeah this this is uh this is the way you've written this
this is nuts um anyways
i could have done more and i could have been more invested i fucked up in that
regard also her parents
are very religious so i think moving in with me was a culture shock and
although she was the only one
really pushing for the move in i think it got scary because that leap is a huge
separation from her
parents or her childhood culture anyways any advice you or nia could lend would
be much appreciated i have
no idea what i'm going to do for the next year i'm going to tell you exactly
what the you're going to do
all right you're going to go down to that hospital and regardless of how her
dad treats you you're
going to absolutely crush it that's what you're going to do okay and what you're
going to prove to
that man is that her daughter was out of her mind to break up with you now i'm
not saying brown nose
i'm just saying go in there and kick the out of the job i would even maybe i
don't know address what
happened just be like hey sorry things didn't work i mean she dumped you though
so i don't know i would
just go in there it's a year of your life kick ass at the job no matter what
mind game if the guy decides to play a mind game which would be really childish
all right but you
never know a dad with his daughter who the knows right he might even been
behind the breakup you have
no idea or or there's a whole other way he might know that she's out of her
mind who knows all right
but i wouldn't bring any baggage call the guy doctor so-and-so whatever you
know something if he
wants to fucking bring it up let him fucking bring it up and uh i would like i
said i would just
absolutely fucking crush it there you know you can always break a lease you can
always get a
fucking roommate i'm sure you're gonna meet somebody get a fucking roommate do
not
fucking get another girlfriend this quick and get him in there i wouldn't do
that either i would just
get another fucking roommate you know i don't know do the prison workout keep
yourself in shape
and uh i don't know if you still really like this chick maybe keep like a open
mind but i
you know you definitely got to draw some lines and get some boundaries if you're
going to get back
together all right just tell us straight up like listen you were a sweetheart
and i wanted to spend
the rest of my life with you and i definitely dropped the ball in some areas
which i believe we've
covered you know because god knows she read you the riot act but you can
reiterate them so she can feel
validated and then you can delve into her and just be like yeah listen you know
this world according
to garb fucking lunatic that you've gone on to i don't she's not gonna
understand that reference
whatever the references okay you know i haven't arrived i have a uh i'm a human
being
and i have all emotions and i have access to all of them and i have a right to
feel them
okay and if i extend that courtesy to you you need to extend it to me and that's
it and if i can be
adult enough to listen to your opinion that i do not agree with
okay but i'll be mature enough to understand that you're allowed to have that
opinion
then you need to do that to me and if you can't do that i'm not starting this
over again and i'll
tell you this right now buddy that's the be