Name: Bill Burr: The Uncomfortable Truth About Modern Relationships
Uploaded: 2025-02-15T23:15:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr: The Uncomfortable Truth About Modern Relationships' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr: The Uncomfortable Truth About Modern Relationships' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-15. Transcript available.

hey billy master of buckets um i've been single my entire life i'm into my
later 20s and still
haven't found any lady that i really hit it off with i've struggled with being
single for a long
time but i've been working through it i'm okay with it but i still have my dark
moments my
question to you is when you were single for all those years did you ever get
lonely or feel alone
uh did you ever think you'd be single forever what helped you to endure through
those times
and how did you cope with it yes to all of that yep as i figured some things
out i've been doing
bucket list types of stuff that helps me get through it yeah dude that's a
great thing to
do when you're single go do all that you want to do because uh you know you
meet somebody else yeah
you know you might not have the time this person says i've gone to see some of
my favorite bands
play live i've traveled a little and i've been working towards finding a career
path that i
really enjoy so i believe i'm doing some good things but i still have my days
when i suffer
through it a little uh but i've learned to sit in that pain for a bit and find
good things
uh saying something dumb at work oh that's the next one i thought that was a
guy signing off
or the woman whoever the this is uh all right my question to you is you've been
single all those
years did you ever get lonely or feel alone here's the thing i was never lonely
for the first i don't
know how many years of my life until i had a girlfriend and then lost my
girlfriend and then
after that that's the first time i felt like oh i don't have a chick it's weird
i didn't have my first serious girlfriend until i was like 23.
something like that 22 23 years old so i was fine with being single and that
thing lasted like i
don't know like eight nine months and uh i ended up breaking up with her and
that was right before
i started doing stand up and um i remember the first six weeks of being like
how long is it gonna
take for me to get over this person and um it's weird man like getting over a
person it's like it's
like quitting the booze it's a habit they're a habit you know what i mean i
always call them at this time
then you got to fill up those times but you just can't fill them up you kind of
got to go through
the morning of them not being there anymore and then you start filling them up
with other stuff but
like dude i think travel seeing bands and everything the great thing is dude
the fact that you're a lady
the fact that you're single and you feel alone is a very healthy thing you know
what i mean now if
you were totally single and you didn't feel lonely at all well i guess maybe
you know maybe you're just
a someone who doesn't want to be with anybody that could also be as long as you're
not out killing
people you know what i mean as long as you don't feel the need to hunt as long
as you're not feeling
that and as long as you're all right with whatever it is you're doing then um
you should be fine dude
you're in your late 20s dude trust me someday you're gonna be married you're
gonna have a kid
coming like i got right now and you all of a sudden all your drum videos you're
thinking i'm gonna get
i gotta get rid of those i gotta get rid of all this i gotta get rid of all of
this stuff
and there's this feeling that i'm having right now will i ever play drums again
but fortunately
i married the coolest woman ever so i just was able to sit down with her this
this might help you
if you're afraid to get in a relationship because you feel like you're going to
lose all of this
stuff you just let the person you're with know what's important i already said
to my wife i said
listen here's the deal like once a week okay you pick a day once a week when
this kid is not sleeping
through the night and you can just go somewhere get a massage or just go
someplace and sleep or i'll
take the kid and go drive around i'll let you sleep for hours and hours
whatever the hell it is okay
all you got to do is let me keep playing drums taking drum lessons and that
that'll be my spa
thing because i don't really need to sleep because i'm a lunatic and also i'll
still get to do the road
twice a month and you know i'll use that time to sleep i'll do my shows at
night and then i'll go
right to the hotel and i will sleep till the cats come home the cows come
whatever the animal is
and then i'll come back recharged you know what i mean but we we make sure that
we kind of work
that stuff out with each other so um if you're afraid to get in a relationship
just know that
there's uh cool people out there as long as you uh i don't know yeah you never
hear me say this but
women in general pretty cool if you just tell them what the deal is um but i
have issues with women
so even as i said that just picturing how many women just went like oh my god
yes that like that
annoyed me even though they're agreeing with me it's weird i got a lot of
issues so um
yeah i definitely i felt like i was never gonna meet the one i felt like there
was something wrong
with me and all of this type of just know this every one of your friends that's
in a relationship
is secretly envious of you even if they're with the right person that's how
much work it is
you know every once in a while you know i look at um you know i'll look at a i'll
look at a playboy
like joe de rosa and i'll be like god damn it man what the that he's got he's
you know he's
skis he's living the life you know but then you know you come home and your
wife makes some cookies
you're like this is pretty cool too all right saying something dumb at work so
i'm saying to this
person you you're fine dude you're in your late 20s um the same way that you
have goals with um
your career and bucket list stuff you have you should have some goals about the
kind of person
that you want to be with like uh women have to actually do like that women
actually
sit down and think about the kind of guys don't do that we just sort of ping
pong around i'll stick
my dick in that you know we're idiots um but if you actually you know get a
little bill belichick
you know see what's missing you know from your half see what you're looking for
what do you want
you know do you want a woman that wants kids do you want a woman that can cook
are you traditional do
you want a career woman like what do you want you know i can tell you right now
if you want a woman
that can cook we'll actually sit down and cook i'll tell you right now that's
like uh
i don't know you know like every once every i don't know how many years they
have that 1983 draft
like women do not women's do not be cooking anymore all this feminism it's
really a sad thing but men
have you know it's our fault because we we didn't put a value on it christ i'm
out there busting my ass
you're in here pickling cucumbers right we just gave them making a meal for
somebody's
one of the nicest things you could ever do you know but what happened huh we
talked we gave
we didn't give them respect them now look at them they don't want to cook or be
mothers
they're out there running around willy-nilly wearing pants suits running and
running for
president of the united states i mean that that's a mad job
i'm kidding you know the funniest thing ever is how sick you have to be to want
to be president
the fact that hillary clinton is depressed right now that she didn't get a job
where she was going
to have to put her head on the pillow every night knowing she just made a
decision
that bombs were just dropped and possibly landed on somebody's baby