Name: Norm w Carson Daly
Uploaded: 2022-02-03T15:02:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm w Carson Daly' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm w Carson Daly' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-03. Transcript available.

what's going on norm i've not seen you in forever you look you look great yeah
they all love you
they love you my audience loves you what's happening what's new your hair is
short you
look great yeah i got short i got a haircut when wow this is a very uninteresting
subject
yeah but it looks good it caught me off guard yeah yesterday oh wow yeah well
it's short that
makes sense yeah how's the family how's everything going oh great man couldn't
be better life is
uh it's fantastic yeah i like life man you do really oh my god people are
complaining about it
first of all you're lucky you're lucky enough to be alive when you think about
it you know what i'm
saying your mother had to have sex with your father that your grandparents had
to have sex grand great
grandparents had to have sex it's lucky you're alive my god it's amazing and i'm
so happy every day
you should be alive because it's just a fluke there's so many many more people
that never got
to be alive
that's an interesting point i guess you're right if you do the math so when
people crap about it i'm
like man it's the greatest gig in the world being alive you get to you get to
eat at denny's wear a hat
whatever you want yeah yeah get haircuts it is well good i'm glad life is going
well i know you're a big
fan you competed in the world series of poker in the celebrity event no in the
real the real deal
deal yeah how was that um well it was sort of a nightmare i was halfway through
the first day i was
the massive chip leader right and i think you were doing great yeah it's first
place uh 8 800 people
and then i threw it all away
you say that like it still tortures you to this day yeah what happened was it
all in one hand did
you just go all in with something that you shouldn't have it was it your bluffing
were you
no i was just uh i had pocket aces and the guy had jack queen he beat me but uh
uh so be it i was
going for number there's two ways of playing it right you can go to trickle
into the money or you
can go for first place so i was going for first place yeah you like to play
poker though right
that was that i like it okay yeah yeah all right i play a lot i got a little
addicted to it on the
internet i was playing like six games at once for seven eight hours a day yeah
all right so you like
it a little bit yeah i uh saw the poker area at one of the casinos in vegas and
it's very uh it's
very bright it's very sterile you can't like swear you can't smoke and i'm
thinking well there's no
way norm could really be into this poker thing because those are two of your
favorite things to do
i got a lot of penalties at the world series for smoking oh you can you smoke
for swearing
because like you know your aces get cracked and you go
and you know and then it's like it's a 20 minute penalty for each word so i'm
like out for an hour
and a half you know but they let you back in yeah they let you in after an hour
and a half what if
you're swearing while smoking 10 cigarettes at once it's so insane that you can't
swear and smoke
because uh everybody there is a degenerate gambler that smokes and swears yeah
it's a weird
rule that they have there it's very strange i played the celebrity poker that
was the hardest
of all why uh well you go on the tv and uh poker is not that hard but
identifying these other
celebrities that should really be its own sort of gamble i want to bet on the
fact that i'm not quite sure
that that guy is in creed i don't know exactly i'll bet a thousand dollars i
think he that was a better
juice factor in that they don't get they get peripheral celebrities like me
they're not like
matlock's gonna be on the so you know you get like the i had to get brief there
because everybody's
20 they're like that's the guy of course don't you know him he's on that police
station uh he plays
detective johnson so i remember all this i really enjoy your work on police
station that time you
all right got that crook he's like norm it's me it's john stamos what's with
you you don't recognize
me ah no john stamos is a great man he's a good guy you know john sure i know
him i know him all
right yeah that guy gets the ladies he does yeah some guys get the ladies i'm
telling you man and it's
it's you ever know these guys maybe in high school or something or college it
didn't you couldn't
figure out why they did it but they could get the ladies yeah maybe they weren't
the handsomest guy
but somehow like i had a guy a friend of mine bill this guy he could get any i'm
not exaggerating
when i say this every night he would have a different lady and they'd be
beautiful and
finally i asked the guy i said what's your secret you know he said i'm a serial
rapist
that hardly counts you know yeah normally i tried the roofies once actually did
you
try that and try that as a technique of dating yeah because i said ah these
girls you go and
you feed them a nice hamburger and then that's not enough nothing happened so i
said i'll try these
roofies all right they didn't work at all man i couldn't even remember anything
i woke up three
days later my ass hurt i don't know what happened this is the second night in
the row we can't hear any
of this this will be the greatest website interview ever none of this will make
air they're just let me
ask you about you grew up in canada everybody in canada speaks french but your
father he forbid you
from learning french yeah yeah everybody in quebec where i grew up quebec city
about 99 percent french
or fewer english people and yeah my dad you know the english hate the french
his guts and uh so my dad
wouldn't let me uh learn french why because he hated the french and so you in
school you could take
either french or latin and i took latin and in quebec city it turns out there's
no ancient romans
that's right so i got beat up a lot by french guys which is about the most
humiliating thing that could
ever happen right aside from losing a celebrity poker to the guy from the cop
show um let me ask
you about there's a couple of shows coming on nbc this year that both deal with
uh snl where you
spend some time uh one of them is a drama one of them is a comedy uh do you
plan on watching studio
60 or 30 rock you excited about these shows it seems odd that there's two shows
that are uh backstage
of the same show saturday night live right and uh i don't even know if anybody
watches saturday night
live let alone backstage is that i know they weren't watching when i was on it
i thought you were great on saturday night live what do you mean do you watch
it now i thought it
was great on saturday night live too do you ever go back do you ever go back to
uh the snl stage yeah
i love it you know because ever since i was a kid i watched saturday night live
and i always loved it
you know and i still love it i always go uh every time i'm in new york i go and
see the guys and
stuff yeah it's fun to go back there oh yeah you were there yeah i was there
sure you'd always hang
out i know what's going on um this is the comedy scene that norm put out and it's
great but it's
different than what i thought when i first put it i thought it was going to be
sort of a traditional
comedy cd but i actually enjoy this much better oh you mean like stand they
want me yeah like it's not
stand up yeah i didn't want to stand up because uh when i was a kid like i i'd
listen to cheech and
chong and uh my python and uh it'd be cool because i'd like you know my parents
didn't know and it was
dirty and stuff like that and stuff like that so uh i always wanted to do an
album like that you know
that uh it's not for kids they're like sketches but they're much much dirtier
yeah they're really
filthy and this album is not for kids but it's for kids yeah but if you're a
kid go get it
it seems like when you listen to this and it's cool because it's it takes you
back to like how
people probably listen to radio in the 50s or whatever it's very sort of
theatrical it's very
funny and and dirty it's the theater of the mind it is it is like when i you
know i'm an older fella
you know i'm in my late 60s now when i was when i was young things were
different carson you know like
like pot was something that you know you'd cook your eggs in you know what i'm
saying right yeah
it wasn't hash was something that you you'd eat with your eggs you know you put
some hash on the
side you know what i'm saying acid you know was something that you'd uh you
know throw in a guy's
face if he made a pass of your wife you know what i mean it's all different it's
all different when
did you grow up in the 40s yeah i'm an old ecstasy you know what was ecstasy ecstasy
was that feeling
that surged through your body when you threw a bunch of acid in a guy's face it's
all
it's changed and what i like about this album like you said the hidden track
yeah it's the hidden
track and then they didn't why did you put it as track 13 yet it says hidden
track they told me
they'd hide it it says hidden track i don't know then they put it in but uh
that's ridiculous but the
theater of the mind what i was going to say about it is what is so great when i
was a kid we had no uh tv
we had no tv we had the radio sure and you see you had to use your mind right
you had to use your
imagination and and my dad would collect the kids around and we'd listen to the
radio and we had to
use our mind especially with the hardcore pornography what show was that what
show was it yeah what show
was the name of the show yeah that the family was huddled around in the 30s
when you were growing
up i think it was the porn was being read i can't remember and you had to
imagine it all the name
of the show yeah amos and annie yeah that's the one that's what that's what i
was thinking of
those are great i like to go down to the radio now amos i don't believe you
should be doing that
it's great to go down that museum of radio and tv have you ever done that yeah
sure you can go and
you can just basically uh call up any great old television show or radio show
and and reload oh
yeah yeah it's beautiful it's on the room yeah we will well we'll look for that
amos and andy uh
all right you can hang out we have amy smartest here did you meet her i met her
and i'm a big fan
and i'm a big fan of her she's smart and uh it's not a that wasn't a joke it's
not even on here