Name: Norm Stand Up
Uploaded: 2022-02-04T18:55:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Stand Up' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Stand Up' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-04. Transcript available.

This is my advice. I don't like lying. You know what I mean? Because, you know,
because it's against the scripture and stuff. You can't tell good stuff
sometimes. And, you know, the real lies that are no good at all is when, you
know, you lie for no reason like a God. You go, hey, you ever see that movie
with Meryl Streep and the horse? And they go, yes!
In the background, you go, what the fuck am I lying about over here? Standing
in, nothing but this line.
I hope that fucker doesn't stop and start talking about that movie. And then
they talk about it. They're like, remember that one part of the barn? Who was
that fucker? That guy that played the barn man.
He's been in a lot of movies and shit. And he's the barn, remember that? And
then you've got nothing to give back, you know, except stuff.
You go, uh, there's a horse!
And then you always have that movie. You ever have that moment where you
fucking lie? And then you look in the other guy's eyes. And then you can tell
and he knows you're lying.
That's one of the worst, you know.
I'm going to give you a little advice to count on to lie because you want to
lie, you know, because a lot of people don't like it, you know, actually don't
know who you are.
That's all right. But on the other hand, you want to follow scripture and, uh,
you know, not care of policy medicine and so forth.
So I come up with a, uh, what I consider a genius idea. And this is what you do.
You tell the truth, an absolute, unvarnished truth, but when you tell the truth,
you tell it with a sarcastic accent.
So, uh, maybe your wife is like, "Hey, you're not fucking my sister, right?"
And then I go, "Yeah, I'm fucking your sister."
And then I go, "Yeah, I'm fucking my sister." And I go, "Yeah, I'm fucking my
sister." And I go, "Yeah, I'm fucking my sister."
And she's like, "No, no, it's all right." And she's like, "No, no, no, no, no.
Why is she going to be apologizing to me? I don't want to fuck you."
And in fact, I fucked your brother, too. That's my marriage. So I can methodically
fuck all the members of your family.
And then when I was finished, I burned your old fucking house again and killed
y'all. And I moved to the next town. And I do that. So I'm like, "No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no."
I mean, I'm the guy that fucking travels all across the fucking nation fucking
fucking and kill him and burn him.
God bless you folks.