Name: Norm and Sarah
Uploaded: 2022-02-12T06:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm and Sarah' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-12. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm and Sarah' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-12. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

Norm and Sarah

All right, let's bring him in. We've been waiting for him all week.
Norm MacDonald.
Hey, Norm.
How are you doing?
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Hello, Sarah.
Hi there.
How are you, Steve?
Oh, you're scratchy.
Oh, yeah, I didn't show you.
You've got the Miami Vice look going on there.
Yeah, baby.
Is that what he has?
No, is this your babysitter?
What, that's Steve.
Hi, Steve.
Hi, how are you?
He's a stand-up comedian, too.
And he's performing with you at Tommy T's.
Yeah, what's M mean?
I'm looking at my cans.
It's M for McDonald's.
No, it's not.
Yeah, what are you talking about?
Those are your headphones.
You saved them from the last time.
I have to look at right and left.
You're doing a full examination.
The cans, these are called cans.
Did you know that?
I did, actually.
I've heard that.
You heard that?
I did hear that.
It's an industry term.
It's inside stuff, though.
Sure.
No, it's not inside.
I learned it out.
These are cans, baby.
These are just headphones.
No one can see that, though.
Hey, look, there's a camera.
There is a camera.
Yeah, no, I learned that on WKRP in Cincinnati.
Oh, did they call them cans on WKRP?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't recall that specifically.
Scott, I loved that show when I was a kid.
You must have, yeah.
Well, I was into...
No, I'm saying because you work in radio.
The radio thing, sure.
Right, no, and I'm sure it inspired all the people to get into radio.
Sure, let's get into radio.
It'll be fantastic.
Hey, you want to do the theme song?
Yeah, go ahead.
No, I don't know it.
I don't know it either.
WKRP in Cincinnati.
Maybe it did inspire you to get into radio, did it?
Well, I don't know.
It didn't.
What inspired me was my failure to be a rock star.
Then I said, I think radio, why not?
Yeah.
Then I can roll the hits, at least.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, but then, you know, you get into radio and you get kind of sour toward
music because
you realize what an industry it is.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
You know why I get sour toward music?
Really?
How?
Because I got an iPod and I put all my favorite songs on them and then I listen
to them like
10,000 times each and now I don't like any of them.
Yeah.
And then you got to go buy...
Then what do you do?
Well, you buy 500 more 99 cent songs.
No, no, no.
But they're all my favorite songs of my life.
Well, you have to rest them.
You've worn them out.
You've worn them out.
Yeah, yeah.
So you're saying you've got to meet them out better?
Well, you know, here's the thing.
Wait, he looks different than last time.
Yes, he does look different.
It's amazing that you notice that.
He's smaller, but just as bald.
He has a name.
Yeah, I know.
He does have a name.
So now, do you remember the last time you were here?
Yeah, of course I do.
You do so many radio stations, though.
How is that possible?
I remember you because you're so pretty.
And she just grabbed herself in front of you.
She did do a can grab.
Well, I grabbed through like a sweatshirt.
Well, still, guys are, you know, we notice that stuff.
We don't often see girls go.
I was making a cans joke.
Steve, what is happening here?
I know.
You're not doing a good enough job babysitting.
Oh, you didn't get to see?
I couldn't see.
Oh, there we go.
Let me just pull it up.
Thank you.
Because Vinny will tell you, I'm just a big flasher.
You know what it is about you, though, Norm, is that you're always smiling, but
it's
those piercing eyes.
Oh, what?
Like, I actually get really nervous when I'm around you because you're so
piercing.
You do?
Yeah, totally.
What about me?
I got Patrick Stewart on my right over here.
Yeah, that's not the first time I've heard that.
That's because you look exactly like him.
So you guys are doing a couple of things.
I'm sorry.
No, no, please go ahead.
No, go, go.
I was going to just reiterate that you're at Tommy T's.
Oh, no.
Get your plugs in there.
Oh, yeah, we're at Tommy T's, man.
You ever go there?
No, I've never been to Tommy T's.
If you like comedy.
We can get you in.
You can?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I would love that.
We're actually going to.
If you like steak.
Oh, do they have good steak at Tommy T's?
Oh, my God.
Very good steak.
Now, when you're doing Tommy T's, do they put you up in a hotel out there and
feed you steak?
Is that like part of the.
Is that how they lure you in?
Right, the Benny's packet.
They put us up at the craziest, biggest hotel I've ever seen in my life.
Honest to God.
They had two basketball courts and three swimming pools.
In Pleasanton?
Yeah, and this little tiny, this sleepy berg.
They have a party that had like maybe 1,000 or 2,000 people at this party at
the Hilton Hotel in Pleasanton.
And did you go down and, you know, I'm Norm MacDonald, hello, from TV.
I'm in your TV.
I don't go to parties.
You don't go to parties?
Why not?
Why not?
Are you socially awkward?
Wait, let him answer.
Why not?
Why don't you go to parties?
I don't care.
Yeah, I would say I'm socially very awkward.
Is that because you're famous?
You've always been a little awkward.
No, that doesn't help, but yeah, I don't like talking to people about stuff at
parties, especially now with the politics.
Oh, I know.
Everybody wants to talk politics.
And people are so unreasonable about it.
Yeah, they are.
Why can't they see it my way?
Wait, you're saying that?
Yeah.
That just came out of you.
I'm including myself in this whole thing.
I'm completely unreasonable about it.
I know.
You know.
Bring up Sarah Palin to her and watch her melt down.
No, no, no, no.
Watch it.
Watch the show that is the meltdown.
I'm not going to melt down.
I'm talking with Norm MacDonald and his babysitter, Steve.
Oh, Steve.
I'm trying to figure it out.
Oh, my God.
Well, Sarah Palin is an odd, odd case.
Odd case.
In what way?
Since you hate talking about politics.
Uh-huh.
Well, it's just odd.
It's unbelievable.
Yes.
It's never before been anything like this.
No, there hasn't.
Yeah.
It's like they should have got one of the school teachers at my kid's school.
That would have been great.
It would have been about the same.
She's got lots of experience working with children.
That's what they're saying now.
Yeah.
That she had a lot of experience because she was a mom.
Yeah.
Wow.
She's got five kids.
She's doing awesome with them, too.
And the name's fantastic.
See, this is what's the problem with our society, though.
What is it?
When they go, hey, the hardest job in the world is being a mom.
It's pretty hard.
Or the hardest job in the world is being a teacher.
It's hard.
Hard jobs.
Yeah, it's not.
They're hard jobs.
My mom was a teacher.
Let me tell you something.
She had the two hardest jobs.
I think cooking is a harder job.
The teacher is probably the easiest job on the planet.
Why?
Let me explain why.
How can you say that?
First of all, my mother and my father are both teachers.
They got all the, you get all the vacations that children do.
You're always off.
You have the entire summer.
You have two weeks Christmas, two weeks Easter.
You work in an atmosphere where it's just you and children.
With young, stupid, short, stupid people.
They don't know much.
You're brilliant.
Yeah.
You don't have to learn anything.
They're all frightened of you.
You can say anything you want.
You never take a test.
See, I don't know if you've ever gotten.
That's true.
I go now.
When I was a kid, I thought my teachers were so smart.
Now I have a kid.
I meet these teachers.
They're not smart at all.
How can you say that?
Because it's true.
They're just like regular goofy people.
Well, that's what you realize.
My kid's teacher went crazy, and they could not fire her because of...
Because the job's so hard.
The kids made her crazy.
Yeah, but she has whatever you call it, tenure.
They don't have that in any other job.
No, I know.
They have a union that has a stranglehold on...
They've got to fire you before your tenure starts.
Yeah.
That's one of the things.
They've got to fire you from the easiest job ever.
And then mom is the second easiest job.
How is that?
Yeah, how do you figure that out?
Mom is a tough job.
That is a tough job.
But it's not a job.
You know?
That's not a job.
Well, it's what you have to do.
Isn't anything you have to do job-esque?
Well, then I guess...
Just because I don't get paid for it doesn't make it any less a job.
Well, I guess the toughest job in the world is a marathon runner.
Or having a cold is a tough job.
You know, it's tough.
It can be.
You've got a headache, runny nose.
It's not easy.
I want to be president.
Babysitter's funny.
Those are heroes.
Those are also the heroes.
They're like, the real heroes are the moms and the teachers.
Well, they are.
Not the guys on Iwo Jima planting a flag.
Okay, they were heroes, too.
Not the firemen that run into buildings.
No, no.
No one's denying that those people are heroic.
It's a person that shows up at a school and is the tallest person in the class.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
That's a good one.
My mom and dad were both teachers.
It's the simplest job in the world.
When I was a kid, I thought everyone got that much vacation.
I was, like, shocked to learn that you...
I thought everyone had the summer off.
I thought everyone had three weeks off for Christmas.
Well, when you're doing your own sitcoms, surely you have six months a year off.
I mean, that has to be teacher-esque.
Exactly.
It's teacher-esque.
Don't they say that having a sitcom is about the closest you can get?
That's about the hardest job in the world.
No, shut up.
Yeah, those are the real heroes.
That's easy fun.
Oh, my God.
You're making the people laugh.
Is it easy or is it hard?
What, doing a sitcom?
Yeah, and be...
It's retired work.
It's the easiest thing on the planet.
They say it's the closest to a regular schedule.
It makes your life very normal.
Yeah, it's very simple.
I mean, almost everything in show business is easy.
This isn't...
This is the hardest job in the world.
You're the real hero.
Yes.
Thank you, Steve.
This is Aaron Vinny, the Alice Morning Show, and Norm MacDonald.
And Steve, whose last name you didn't even give me.
You're just calling him Steve.
Oh, Stevie Ray Framsey.
Don't you have to reset or something?
I just did.
I just reset.
Oh, that was it?
I said the name of the station and who's here.
Stevie Ray Framsey?
Yes, Framstein.
Stevie Ray Framstein.
Framstein.
Framstein.
He's got one of those...
What are those called?
Jewish men.
Career caps.
No, I'm talking about the cap, like the paperboy cap.
Is that...
What's that called?
It's called, like, a paperboy cap.
Have those come back?
They are, well, and I wear them.
I got a hat here in San Francisco.
Talking about the cap, like the paperboy cap.
Is that...
What's that called?
It's called, like, a paperboy cap.
Have those come back?
And then I just missed them.
They are, well, and I wear them.
I got a hat here in San Francisco.
I got a campaigner hat.
You ever wear a campaigner hat?
No.
You know what that is?
No.
You remember, you know, it's flat, and it's, like, strong.
Yeah, I do know what he's talking about.
Oh.
Yeah.
And they would pin their little, I like Ike buttons on the band.
In the old days.
Yeah, in the band.
Yeah, on the band.
Nowadays, they have big, crazy hats.
If I had hair, I would wear hair.
Would you?
But I don't, so I wear a hat.
So you wear the...
My head gets cold.
All the time.
How come Vinny's head doesn't get cold?
That's what I wonder.
You actually have some hair.
I mean, if I didn't know that you just told me you don't have hair under there,
I can see
sideburns.
There's some on the side.
I even have some.
A little bit.
Oh, no.
You don't.
Read that text, too.
Oh, hold on.
I didn't show you the whole thing.
That's a bit...
925 says, okay, Norm, come to my fifth grade class.
I dare you.
Well, where does she...
Is it in a...
Are there black people there?
Oh, my God.
What does that have to do with it?
Why?
Is it harder if there's black people there?
Because black people are generally poor, and poor people are generally
dangerous.
Oh, my God.
Wow, Norm.
I can't believe you just went there