Name: Norm Macdonald on Tom Green Live Random Clips, Dylan
Uploaded: 2022-02-15T06:00:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on Tom Green Live Random Clips, Dylan' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-15. Transcript available. Be SAd Now #norm #NormMacdonald.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on Tom Green Live Random Clips, Dylan' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-15. Transcript available. Be SAd Now #norm #NormMacdonald.

and they go where's Chris I go well you know he passed away 12 years ago and
they go oh and
then they go and then they go well what do you do and I go well I write and I'm
kind of get up I do
some you know I'm actor they go oh come on let's go I'm like sorry I don't
really I've actually had
that experience I've had that experience people go where's your brother I go
well he passed away
oh what do you do oh I liked your brother he was funny I know he was but I mean
some people
you know you can't help it well you know some people it is you know but that's
the way they
react sometimes I've had some people say that but most people are really nice
because Chris was well
loved right he was well most folks are very nice weren't you offered something
by the celebrity
rehab people I'm not gonna get into that no that's not nice that's what you
told me yeah I know but
that was my crazy brother's suggestion no I'm not even gonna get into it going
to celebrity
rehab for God's sake me I don't need it what do I
no but you said you were gonna you said clear it up now you're gonna okay
whatever
I'm not gonna do that what clear it out no oh okay no it's a little confusion
let's just move on
all right should we do the guest piece let's do the guest piece the desk
oh we're gonna take a caller oh we're gonna take a caller man you want to talk
to this guy
hey oh what do they have a question wait you have a question for uh Kev Farley
hello hey what's up no what's up with you nothing where are you my god you look
scary
I'm doing pretty good oh thank you wait he's in the dark wait is he gonna ask
you a question
I thought so yeah are you gonna ask him a question no I'm not some idea oh yeah
where are you
I'm not my house where's your house where's his house oh where's your house
it's in the beach it's in the beach is he running from the law are you running
from the law
here's another guy here we go hey what's up man you got some glasses sunglasses
on he looks uh wow
you got lipstick on there pal he's got lipstick on yeah all right you can't
hear what he's saying
there he is who's this fella hey hey hey oh this is our kind of guy this guy's
cool
he's like got a toothpick in his mouth yeah you can't make make hide in your
hair what he's saying
no he can't make hide in our hair i've never used heard you say the word hide
in our hair
he can't make hide in our hair is that because he saw the toothpick in the guy's
mouth yeah yeah
i couldn't make it i have a toothpick yes you do that reminds me of a story
would you like a toothpick
when he said i have a toothpick it reminds me of a story you want to hear a
story would you like a
toothpick and then after we tell i all right i have to hang up on this guy he
keeps saying do you want a
toothpick no they have people have to learn to be punished for saying i have a
toothpick i agree
with you you got to run the show into a computer that's right the guys at home
i have a toothpick
sitting in his computer going i have a toothpick
let's hear your story where was he from no he's just a flickering image it's
like a ghost it's not
even real it's like ghosts in here but i forgot the story is that a seal i was
being a sarcastic
prick actually is what i was doing i got you but uh you know it's hard you know
with the web of vision
it's hard it's never really going to work perfectly you know we got a we got a
baby seal we got a ferret
and no audio but we can comment on it we got steve in the studio using just old-fashioned
tv techniques
hey this is somebody calling in how are you funny i do that
maybe a seal calling in from canada do you like seals uh-huh i do that too on
my uh skype with my
friends i i get like little dinosaurs i'm like i am going to eat you my name is
stegosaurus and
stuff like that but this guy's not very good i don't know oh there's a big
delay let's not take a call
for a minute let's just talk man it's just not working three guys from canada
that were uh you
know where were we 20 years ago i don't know here i think right i wasn't here
we're here yeah i think so
oh well how long have you been in los angeles for i guess uh 14 years 14 years
i was here for a little
bit before i went to new york but have the hills always been on fire every year
as much as they are
right now can we get a shot of that by the way we actually have a shot that we're
literally right
across the street from the burning hills of los angeles can we get a shot of
that yeah
yes your twins your twins were born here your twins are here right now uh well
i don't have a camera so
i can okay okay wait well we'll get a shot of the fire in a minute your uh your
two sons are here
tonight this is a very this is great
wasn't sure if they wanted to be on the show or not those are your your two
sons are here tonight
this is a real fun i'm glad you guys finally made it up here too this is great
um yeah you guys gotta you
guys got to come up here more often absolutely yeah this is good now norm uh
yeah are you going to
bring your twins up more often oh here now yeah they can come out if they want
yeah do a sketch or
something well no i'm just i was just saying in the future but if they want to
come yeah do they want to
see if we get up and give them the lights you guys don't have to leave though
you guys we'll be here
we'll be in the audience okay they're going to do a sketch off the camera and i
don't know what this
is oh yeah okay here we go ladies and gentlemen we are live on the internet
right now we're uh
special hold the box there's painting here twins are nice dylan and uh dylan dylan
yes creative with the
naming how are you how are you how are you all right wait is that gonna work i
don't know i don't know
what this is you're dylan and dylan dylan and dylan yeah you're both named dylan
yeah both named dylan okay
good oh well thank you well this is great yeah both named dylan really yeah
yeah very good oh that's good
and uh you've never been up to the show before yeah yeah first time we got to
see conan and this
tonight this is a lot of double header yeah and you guys have been to my
hometown of ottawa you have i
have yeah yeah it's because we're from ottawa you know you know your father and
i grew up uh maybe only
ten blocks away from each other in gloucester gloucester he grew up on jasper
and i grew up on
monson those were your streets yeah if you look on your google earth jasper and
monson and beacon hill
are not not too far away from each other do you have a lot of play dates no
because we didn't know each
other when we were kids we didn't know each other when we were kids but then
when i was about uh 15 years
old i started going down to the yuck yucks and uh dad was uh was uh on uh
coming through the yuck yucks
all the time on stage and uh that's uh i was a huge fan and now we're here
hanging out it's a it's this
is a nice little uh connection here right this is uh you know what yeah yeah
your sons are here we all
grew up in the same neighborhood yeah where should i go come sit uh sit sit you
sit right here in the
middle dylan you sit right in the middle and normie sit down right here yep
just like this well i have
this big giant okay yeah and look what we have we have a caller here over here
we have cody on the air
as well oh cody looks interesting let's share if you want that too oh you sit
on that that's pretty
good where'd steve go he doesn't want to he gave up i don't have any kids here
oh cody do you have a
question for norm and his sons i was not expecting to be here this is a at the
last second norm said
sit down here no but you're a professional comedian this is uh it's
embarrassing this is embarrassing
no that's a professional comedian he's like i'm not prepared you know you're
supposed to pretend you're
i feel like like captain kirk when he went just to inspect the ship and then
they had to go on a
mission like suddenly we're doing a tv show yeah yeah and like everybody was
expecting it but me
yeah you know so i'm just saying that's what i was uh it's sometimes hard when
someone asks you to
tell a joke though as a comedian right yeah and somebody says hey norm tell me
tell me a joke
well what about when people go hey tell you even in real life like they'll go
tell a story
when people make the mistake of if they think they think of you if they like
something let's say i
like you yeah and i like steve so the audience is talking to each other no i
know it's yeah i know
well it's just because the band is trying to figure out how to hook up your
instruments so they're
they're all excited about that and then completely ruining the comedic we're
just the three people
tagging while everybody else we could kick the band that you brought out onto
the balcony for a
second or they could play a song real quick i think what i think what we have
to do is we have to we
have to take a call first and then and then we'll then you know okay yeah let's
talk to jason in iowa
yeah let's talk this is steve-o here actually steve-o in norfolk virginia and
then uh then we're gonna
hear some music from pitbull pitbull's this is pitbull's band pitbull's the
rapper yeah the rapper pitbull yeah
yeah yeah yeah your your pitbull's okay it's good to know i thought because you
rapped yeah you could
be the rapper i just didn't make yeah oh yeah so you guys play rap rap could
you do a little could
you do rap with them backing you up that's what i thought would be interesting
yeah to see on the
channel i could try to do that yeah that's putting me on the spot but i could
try to do that yeah
i could try to rap with the pitbull's band absolutely yeah i could do that all
right
let's see what you know i'm connecting all the dots here norm just surprises me
with what's what
shane showed up with a band you know that's cool let's see what where's pitbull
tonight i yeah i don't
where is pitbull he's uh often in his own stand very cool
all right cool we uh he's biting infants he's biting infants with his savage
jaws yes
let's see what shane in ohio says yeah hey what's what's up steve-o you have a
question for norm
um well actually i have not a question prepared um i was just trying to say hi
to you guys come on
steve-o we've been trying to build the skype team here give him a chance i know
how it feels i've been
trying to build this team here for a week no but we explained to the people i
have a question ready
come on do we have another caller yeah steve come on man don't let me down like
that no no that's it
that's it we can't talk to you anymore it's just it's ridiculous they need to
know they have to have
a question ready well of course that's the whole point of calling in you would
think larry king had
prepared them over the past 40 years exactly this is what it is a call-in show
here we go this guy knows
what he's doing he's got a desk who's this guy yeah thank you for calling no he
can't hear us
well this guy's at a board meeting just can you can you hear us audio
if he could hear us or couldn't hear us why would he be going this is yeah you
can't hear us either
audio this is remember i remember i told you we had this new thing that i was
really really excited
about how we built this new thing where we can uh cut from one computer to the
other and take a lot of
calls really fast do it yeah it's not working yet let's see if we can get one
guy okay here we go we
got a guy here oh that's embarrassing that is embarrassing call us on the
telephone too
he's showing us what he's seeing at home telephone 323-850-8215 this character
okay mike mike is
in canada mike you have a question for norm i do uh norm so uh you have like a
laundry list of uh
impressions that you do uh what would be your personal favorites and uh and why
do you think
you could do a little bit good question
thank you i can do uh richard farnsworth is my favorite guy to do yeah it's
your favorite one
yeah richard farnsworth wait who's richard farnsworth an actor yeah from uh
from the straight
story and the gray wolf oh yeah richard farnsworth okay here's a richard part
wait don't don't get rid
of him he's got to see the impression yeah because uh when i was in the army
they made me the gunner because i was a good shooter down in mississippi
i didn't know too much about it but i i would shoot we had a scout his name was
jim he was a prize
spider that's why they made him a scout because he was fast well one time he
got trapped behind everybody
in his mind and he come back and uh i saw something move and i shot and i saw
something move again and i
shot and then it stopped moving the next day they found old ed and uh everybody
thought the germans did it
and the people thought the germans did it everybody thought they did it except
for me
i love that impression yeah richard farnsworth ladies and gentlemen it's like
he was no it's like
he was sitting right here yeah there's not a lot of money in it let's let's be
honest
now i was watching i couldn't sell it to frank caliendo you were going to go do
the o'reilly
factor did that happen did you do that i could do that was was was that fun i
kind of wasn't that
fun because i don't know anything about politics right and it turns out that's
that's a very political
show you didn't know that when you went in or well no i knew it but you know
like sometimes like they
ask you to do something you just say yes yeah and then you freak out and and uh
it's too late i do
that a lot yeah probably tonight will be another example that no i say yes yeah
and then i go it's
in the future so i don't think it's really going to happen partly right and
then they'll go like that
thing's tomorrow and i'll go oh my god no they just won't show but uh i didn't
want to do that with bill
o'reilly because then he'd say i was a coward or something right did he did did
you get in some sort
of a political argument or something like this no i didn't want to argue with
him so i just agreed with
whatever he said ah who we have a call for you oh cool yeah you have a lady jen
hey jen mr mcdonald
that's very good it's been a while it looks great your studio looks great i
haven't seen your show for
a while and it was wonderful by the way and i wanted to ask norm um i saw that
you're doing a voiceover
some kind of voiceover for a movie called christmas is here again and i'm a big
fan of you i think
you're hilarious and what is that movie all about oh hey yeah she's very telegenic
yeah
and the skype has good resolution there much better than before yeah yeah i
think we've uh we've
increased the bandwidth
by the nickel for every time i said that yeah the uh the thing that she asked
me about is what's the movie
called again christmas is here yeah it's called christmas is here that can't be
the title you don't
even know the title of this movie you know but if that was the title i would
suggest that's a very bad
title i i then christmas is here yeah is that really again again christmas is
here again oh that makes more
sense but uh yeah it's uh it's an animated uh i you know it's i it was my
buddies making it yeah so i
went in it was kind of humiliating because i had to sing you ever had to sing
well you're a singer what
am i talking about well i've never really you can sing well but i can't sing
yeah so anyways i had to
be a i had to play a fox and then uh she was like oh now everybody sings you
know so i'm like no i don't
sing you know and she was like a singing coach so she's like no no no and do it
you know and she's
like just do it like this and then you know they do an impossible thing that i
can't do like just
like this right and i try and it doesn't sound right and then anyway she said
no it sounds great
and then i she kind of convinced me that it sounded great and then my son came
and i said hey listen
this man it's me singing and then he said you sound like a retard encouraging
yeah when i say retard i
know i mean like a person with down syndrome yes absolutely yeah thanks i i i
uh

Norm Macdonald on Tom Green Live   Random Clips, Dylan

and they go where's Chris I go well you know he passed away 12 years ago and
they go oh and
then they go and then they go well what do you do and I go well I write and I'm
kind of get up I do
some you know I'm actor they go oh come on let's go I'm like sorry I don't
really I've actually had
that experience I've had that experience people go where's your brother I go
well he passed away
oh what do you do oh I liked your brother he was funny I know he was but I mean
some people
you know you can't help it well you know some people it is you know but that's
the way they
react sometimes I've had some people say that but most people are really nice
because Chris was well
loved right he was well most folks are very nice weren't you offered something
by the celebrity
rehab people I'm not gonna get into that no that's not nice that's what you
told me yeah I know but
that was my crazy brother's suggestion no I'm not even gonna get into it going
to celebrity
rehab for God's sake me I don't need it what do I
no but you said you were gonna you said clear it up now you're gonna okay
whatever
I'm not gonna do that what clear it out no oh okay no it's a little confusion
let's just move on
all right should we do the guest piece let's do the guest piece the desk
oh we're gonna take a caller oh we're gonna take a caller man you want to talk
to this guy
hey oh what do they have a question wait you have a question for uh Kev Farley
hello hey what's up no what's up with you nothing where are you my god you look
scary
I'm doing pretty good oh thank you wait he's in the dark wait is he gonna ask
you a question
I thought so yeah are you gonna ask him a question no I'm not some idea oh yeah
where are you
I'm not my house where's your house where's his house oh where's your house
it's in the beach it's in the beach is he running from the law are you running
from the law
here's another guy here we go hey what's up man you got some glasses sunglasses
on he looks uh wow
you got lipstick on there pal he's got lipstick on yeah all right you can't
hear what he's saying
there he is who's this fella hey hey hey oh this is our kind of guy this guy's
cool
he's like got a toothpick in his mouth yeah you can't make make hide in your
hair what he's saying
no he can't make hide in our hair i've never used heard you say the word hide
in our hair
he can't make hide in our hair is that because he saw the toothpick in the guy's
mouth yeah yeah
i couldn't make it i have a toothpick yes you do that reminds me of a story
would you like a toothpick
when he said i have a toothpick it reminds me of a story you want to hear a
story would you like a
toothpick and then after we tell i all right i have to hang up on this guy he
keeps saying do you want a
toothpick no they have people have to learn to be punished for saying i have a
toothpick i agree
with you you got to run the show into a computer that's right the guys at home
i have a toothpick
sitting in his computer going i have a toothpick
let's hear your story where was he from no he's just a flickering image it's
like a ghost it's not
even real it's like ghosts in here but i forgot the story is that a seal i was
being a sarcastic
prick actually is what i was doing i got you but uh you know it's hard you know
with the web of vision
it's hard it's never really going to work perfectly you know we got a we got a
baby seal we got a ferret
and no audio but we can comment on it we got steve in the studio using just old-fashioned
tv techniques
hey this is somebody calling in how are you funny i do that
maybe a seal calling in from canada do you like seals uh-huh i do that too on
my uh skype with my
friends i i get like little dinosaurs i'm like i am going to eat you my name is
stegosaurus and
stuff like that but this guy's not very good i don't know oh there's a big
delay let's not take a call
for a minute let's just talk man it's just not working three guys from canada
that were uh you
know where were we 20 years ago i don't know here i think right i wasn't here
we're here yeah i think so
oh well how long have you been in los angeles for i guess uh 14 years 14 years
i was here for a little
bit before i went to new york but have the hills always been on fire every year
as much as they are
right now can we get a shot of that by the way we actually have a shot that we're
literally right
across the street from the burning hills of los angeles can we get a shot of
that yeah
yes your twins your twins were born here your twins are here right now uh well
i don't have a camera so
i can okay okay wait well we'll get a shot of the fire in a minute your uh your
two sons are here
tonight this is a very this is great
wasn't sure if they wanted to be on the show or not those are your your two
sons are here tonight
this is a real fun i'm glad you guys finally made it up here too this is great
um yeah you guys gotta you
guys got to come up here more often absolutely yeah this is good now norm uh
yeah are you going to
bring your twins up more often oh here now yeah they can come out if they want
yeah do a sketch or
something well no i'm just i was just saying in the future but if they want to
come yeah do they want to
see if we get up and give them the lights you guys don't have to leave though
you guys we'll be here
we'll be in the audience okay they're going to do a sketch off the camera and i
don't know what this
is oh yeah okay here we go ladies and gentlemen we are live on the internet
right now we're uh
special hold the box there's painting here twins are nice dylan and uh dylan dylan
yes creative with the
naming how are you how are you how are you all right wait is that gonna work i
don't know i don't know
what this is you're dylan and dylan dylan and dylan yeah you're both named dylan
yeah both named dylan okay
good oh well thank you well this is great yeah both named dylan really yeah
yeah very good oh that's good
and uh you've never been up to the show before yeah yeah first time we got to
see conan and this
tonight this is a lot of double header yeah and you guys have been to my
hometown of ottawa you have i
have yeah yeah it's because we're from ottawa you know you know your father and
i grew up uh maybe only
ten blocks away from each other in gloucester gloucester he grew up on jasper
and i grew up on
monson those were your streets yeah if you look on your google earth jasper and
monson and beacon hill
are not not too far away from each other do you have a lot of play dates no
because we didn't know each
other when we were kids we didn't know each other when we were kids but then
when i was about uh 15 years
old i started going down to the yuck yucks and uh dad was uh was uh on uh
coming through the yuck yucks
all the time on stage and uh that's uh i was a huge fan and now we're here
hanging out it's a it's this
is a nice little uh connection here right this is uh you know what yeah yeah
your sons are here we all
grew up in the same neighborhood yeah where should i go come sit uh sit sit you
sit right here in the
middle dylan you sit right in the middle and normie sit down right here yep
just like this well i have
this big giant okay yeah and look what we have we have a caller here over here
we have cody on the air
as well oh cody looks interesting let's share if you want that too oh you sit
on that that's pretty
good where'd steve go he doesn't want to he gave up i don't have any kids here
oh cody do you have a
question for norm and his sons i was not expecting to be here this is a at the
last second norm said
sit down here no but you're a professional comedian this is uh it's
embarrassing this is embarrassing
no that's a professional comedian he's like i'm not prepared you know you're
supposed to pretend you're
i feel like like captain kirk when he went just to inspect the ship and then
they had to go on a
mission like suddenly we're doing a tv show yeah yeah and like everybody was
expecting it but me
yeah you know so i'm just saying that's what i was uh it's sometimes hard when
someone asks you to
tell a joke though as a comedian right yeah and somebody says hey norm tell me
tell me a joke
well what about when people go hey tell you even in real life like they'll go
tell a story
when people make the mistake of if they think they think of you if they like
something let's say i
like you yeah and i like steve so the audience is talking to each other no i
know it's yeah i know
well it's just because the band is trying to figure out how to hook up your
instruments so they're
they're all excited about that and then completely ruining the comedic we're
just the three people
tagging while everybody else we could kick the band that you brought out onto
the balcony for a
second or they could play a song real quick i think what i think what we have
to do is we have to we
have to take a call first and then and then we'll then you know okay yeah let's
talk to jason in iowa
yeah let's talk this is steve-o here actually steve-o in norfolk virginia and
then uh then we're gonna
hear some music from pitbull pitbull's this is pitbull's band pitbull's the
rapper yeah the rapper pitbull yeah
yeah yeah yeah your your pitbull's okay it's good to know i thought because you
rapped yeah you could
be the rapper i just didn't make yeah oh yeah so you guys play rap rap could
you do a little could
you do rap with them backing you up that's what i thought would be interesting
yeah to see on the
channel i could try to do that yeah that's putting me on the spot but i could
try to do that yeah
i could try to rap with the pitbull's band absolutely yeah i could do that all
right
let's see what you know i'm connecting all the dots here norm just surprises me
with what's what
shane showed up with a band you know that's cool let's see what where's pitbull
tonight i yeah i don't
where is pitbull he's uh often in his own stand very cool
all right cool we uh he's biting infants he's biting infants with his savage
jaws yes
let's see what shane in ohio says yeah hey what's what's up steve-o you have a
question for norm
um well actually i have not a question prepared um i was just trying to say hi
to you guys come on
steve-o we've been trying to build the skype team here give him a chance i know
how it feels i've been
trying to build this team here for a week no but we explained to the people i
have a question ready
come on do we have another caller yeah steve come on man don't let me down like
that no no that's it
that's it we can't talk to you anymore it's just it's ridiculous they need to
know they have to have
a question ready well of course that's the whole point of calling in you would
think larry king had
prepared them over the past 40 years exactly this is what it is a call-in show
here we go this guy knows
what he's doing he's got a desk who's this guy yeah thank you for calling no he
can't hear us
well this guy's at a board meeting just can you can you hear us audio
if he could hear us or couldn't hear us why would he be going this is yeah you
can't hear us either
audio this is remember i remember i told you we had this new thing that i was
really really excited
about how we built this new thing where we can uh cut from one computer to the
other and take a lot of
calls really fast do it yeah it's not working yet let's see if we can get one
guy okay here we go we
got a guy here oh that's embarrassing that is embarrassing call us on the
telephone too
he's showing us what he's seeing at home telephone 323-850-8215 this character
okay mike mike is
in canada mike you have a question for norm i do uh norm so uh you have like a
laundry list of uh
impressions that you do uh what would be your personal favorites and uh and why
do you think
you could do a little bit good question
thank you i can do uh richard farnsworth is my favorite guy to do yeah it's
your favorite one
yeah richard farnsworth wait who's richard farnsworth an actor yeah from uh
from the straight
story and the gray wolf oh yeah richard farnsworth okay h