Name: Norm Macdonald Interview w Craig Ferguson May 2011 Comic Geniuses at work
Uploaded: 2022-02-22T06:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Interview w Craig Ferguson May 2011 Comic Geniuses at work' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-22. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Interview w Craig Ferguson May 2011 Comic Geniuses at work' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-22. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

Please welcome Norm Macdonald, everybody.
Hi, Norm.
You on there?
Yeah.
What a crowd.
Hey, Norm.
Wow.
Yeah, they love you, Norm.
They love you.
They love you.
No, you.
All right, that's enough.
That's enough.
You're making Norm nervous now.
He's getting nervous now.
But it's great to see you.
Yeah, you too.
But I haven't seen you in such a long time.
Yeah, I know, man.
I used to...
I used to...
When you used to do the Drew Carey...
What?
Give him a chance.
No.
No, listen.
Before he...
There was a...
Craig...
Craig used to be on a show called The Drew Carey Show.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And you did the show right next door.
You had the Norm Macdonald show right next door.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I remember you were like...
We had trailers and I'd always be in my trailer.
I like to go to my trailer and smoke cigarettes.
Yeah, that's right, yeah.
And then you'd be in your trailer and you'd be writing movies and then
directing movies.
Yeah.
And then you'd be writing books.
Yeah, yeah.
It's 'cause I was trying to not smoke.
No.
But people...
People are waylaid by your...
By your laid-back image.
They don't realize what a furnace of ambition you are.
Hey!
That's true.
I am.
I zig when they zag.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Listen, it's good.
You don't smoke anymore.
You look, like, healthy.
Oh, no.
I quit smoking.
Yeah.
I read that on the side of the thing.
What'd you say?
It's dangerous?
It says it can kill you.
No!
Yeah, I realized, like, I was smoking all the time.
And, uh, it's like, um, it's like, uh, you smoke and you don't even get high.
And, uh...
Well, you can't, you can't...
They're not mutually exclusive.
You can get high and smoke.
It's not like you have to make a choice.
No, I'm saying the cigarettes do not...
Oh, get you high?
Yeah.
Well, you can...
There's a substance you can put in them, though, if you want.
Oh, yeah.
No, I don't do drugs or alcohol.
That is right.
You used to be a...
I thought you were an alcoholic.
Gosh, Norm!
No, but that's cool, because you're recovering.
Well...
Slowly, yeah.
In fact, one of the heaviest nights I ever had drinking was the Crazy Horse Strip
Team.
Yeah, sure, sure.
In Adelaide, in South Australia, though.
I'll tell you about booze, though.
I had never drank.
I drank three times in my life.
And the second time I drank, I was, like, 17, and I was in a bar.
And I was drinking.
And then a guy handed me these pills, and I ate them, and I drank, you know?
Yeah.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
And then I blacked out.
This is...
This is going perfectly so far.
Yeah.
So then I woke up, and I...
This is only my second time drinking.
I woke up, and I was in a rehab.
And what had happened is, I had a guy that was an actual alcoholic, like you...
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
...befriended me when I was all crazy drunk, and we each checked into the rehab,
and then
they took my clothes, and they only gave me a robe.
For what night?
Three nights, I had to stay.
I had to drink for 15 years before I got that.
You're a really fast learner.
Well, do you think you stopped because you thought, "Oh, this stuff's dangerous
for me,
then?
I better not get involved in this."
Yeah, I don't like things where you take them, and then you vomit.
Like, you know...
Like, you know...
I wish I'd met you when I was younger, man.
You're gonna talk me right out of it.
Well, like, if you...
If you, like, if I...
If I ate a ham sandwich, and I threw up for four hours, I'd never eat a ham
sandwich again.
You make a decent point.
You should go around rehabs telling people this.
Yeah, yeah.
That's good.
You look in shape, though, man.
You used to be quite thin, but you look kind of like you've been working out
and stuff.
Have you been working out?
Uh, uh...
My abs, you mean?
Sure, yeah.
Yeah.
Have you been working out...
Have you got one of them ab things?
You know, like that?
Those...
Yeah, like those crunches?
Yeah, yeah.
Like a crunch machine.
Well, mostly I'm...
Mostly I work on my, uh, latissimus dorsi.
I don't speak the French, pal, so you're gonna have to take me through it.
They're the...
The back muscles.
Oh, yeah.
You know where you go like this?
Yeah, and then your back, like, wings come up?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
You...
You're growing wings?
You're working out so much, you're growing wings?
Yeah, so I look like a...
Like a...
Like a...
Like a...
I'm about to pounce.
Wow, you're scaring me, Norm.
You used to be so mild-mannered, now you're like a riding-up gym rat.
No, I've never worked out in my life.
Never once?
No.
I did it three times, but I blacked out and woke up in a rehab.
That was a good time when you were there, though.
Who else?
Artie Lang was working on the show.
Yeah, the great Artie Lang was there.
Oh, he's terrific.
How's he doing?
He's doing all right.
I'm a big fan of Artie Lang.
Yeah.
You still friendly with him?
I am.
You tell him I said hi?
I like that.
Yeah, he's a great guy.
Do you still do Howard's show as well?
Heroin?
What?
Oh, do you do heroin?
Do you do heroin?
Did you do heroin tonight?
You don't do heroin.
I do do the Howard Stern show.
Right.
That's what I was going to say.
I was going to say do you do.
I didn't mean do you do Howard as well.
You know what I mean?
No, I mean.
Yeah, yeah.
No, he's hard to do, you know, because he'll like hypnotize you.
Have you done the show?
I did it once, yeah.
I listened to the show, though.
I'm a fan of Howard Stern.
Yeah, he's a great man.
Wow, he's very interesting.
But when he speaks to you, and also you're in a little close play, and you don't
realize
people are listening, and sometimes you say something quite revealing.
Yeah, I know.
What, like you do heroin?
That kind of thing?
Because that's going to make the websites tomorrow, Norm, I tell you.
No, I've never done, I've never done, I've never done drugs.
I've always been, you know what saved me from everything?
Oh, look, it's Jeffrey.
Yeah, Jeff Pearson right there.
Jazz hands.
All right, let's see him, man.
Let's see the jazz hands.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, he's a very disappointing appliance.
Have you ever bought an appliance that you thought was going to be thrilling,
and it's
actually disappointing?
Oh, yeah, I bought a toaster.
Yeah, well, that's a very similar idea, yeah.
In fact, a toaster's more useful.
Whoa!
Yeah, yeah, his head moves.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, yeah.
Do it again, move your head.
Yeah, there you go.
You're going to get one of those.
Yeah, he's got the comic timing of a young Fred Allen.
No, he's got the comic timing of a young Sid James.
Sid James?
I love Sid James.
Yeah, that guy's hilarious.
Yeah, well, not anybody.
Did you ever see Carry On Camping?
Yes, of course, I grew up on those movies.
Of course, you're Canadian, you'll have seen those movies.
Yeah, yeah, I love all those movies.
They were like camp kind of raunchy British comedies from the '50s and '60s,
right?
Yeah, yeah.
Lots of people going, "Wha, sorry!"
Yeah.
Like a lady would walk in with two melons.
Yeah, he's going like...
Like, Mike Myers did a bunch of that when he was doing the Austin Powers.
He was doing a lot of, you know, melon and fruit-related comedy, which I had
seen in the Carry Ons.
But didn't you find the Carry On films, as a child, very arousing?
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
When you see attractive women walking around with melons, it's like walking
around a crazy
horse striptease saloon in Adelaide.
Hey, listen, Norm, we're completely out of time.
So, let's do an awkward pause or a mouth organ.
What would you...
Oh, you got a mouth organ?
I got one for you, Sailor, sure.
Yeah, can you play?
No, I can't play, but I can sing a Bob Dylan song.
All right, do it!
All right, can you sing and have the organ in your mouth at the same time?
Because that's a trick I've only seen done once before.
It was a few years ago in Australia.
Wait, wait, are you ready?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the other side.
Wait, is it this side?
Yeah, the side with the holes.
Yeah.
Whoa, whoa.
Slow down, slow down.
You're going at it like you hate it.
- The side? - Yeah, the side but the holes.
- Yeah. - Whoa, whoa!
- What, is that? - Slow down, slow down!
You're going at it like you hate it!
- Oh, okay, yeah. - All right.
- Yeah! - Yeah, there we go!