Name: norm on radio 2
Uploaded: 2022-03-22T05:00:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'norm on radio 2' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-22. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'norm on radio 2' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-22. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

norm on radio 2

Norm Macdonald is in studio with us, comedian and actor, also Kevin Farley, who
I saw at the Venetian last summer.
Kevin Farley, you were good.
Oh, thank you.
Really good. Like, you didn't have everything scripted, you just got up and
told stories.
That's what I do, yeah.
It was good.
Yeah, I have an improv background, so I don't really know how to tell jokes.
So I tell stories.
You're just a funny guy.
Thanks.
You guys are at the Helium Comedy Club this weekend tonight.
Showtime's 8 o'clock tonight and Friday and Saturday, two shows each night, 7.30
and 10 o'clock.
Norm Macdonald, you're unshaven, man.
Yeah, I know. I didn't take a shave because I forgot my six-blade razor at home,
and I need six blades.
Because the first one gets the hair, then the second one pulls it a little,
then the third one...
Anyways, I saw a commercial.
But I got to the hotel. I hadn't shaven for like three days, and I got a lot of
hair because I'm so mad.
It's crazy how masculine I am. You can go on a long time, but anyway.
And then they gave, me and Farley, they gave just a single blade, and Farley
said it'll tear up your face.
It will. It tears mine up.
A one-blader will bloody up my face pretty good.
Yeah, why did anyone ever shave before they had like the Mach 3?
Why did they shave?
Yeah, like why would you? You just rip your face up.
I wonder when people started shaving, like in the old cultures, didn't they use
a rock or something like that?
Am I imagining that?
I don't know.
Strongopedia, do you happen to know the history of shaving?
That's a bit outside my purview, but I'll look it up.
You'll look it up.
Yeah, I'll look it up in the WWW.
I thought it was interesting because you, Norm Macdonald, dropped a swear word
during the break in here.
And it's like Bob Saget.
Like, you see him as the Olsen twins' dad, and then he's dropping F-bombs in
some comedy routine.
Do you cuss in your bit?
Yeah.
You do it in your normal?
All the time, in real life.
Walking around?
Yes, because when I was young, my dad said, like I swore a lot.
My dad said, you know, if you swear, if you curse a lot, that's a sign of a
person with a very low vocabulary.
So I really did not want a large vocabulary.
So I thought, oh, this will be cool.
Every time I can't think of a word, I'll say something super dirty.
And it works just as well.
You guys sort of tour together, or is this a run-up?
How long have you been on this current sort of binge?
Norm is my mentor.
When I started, Norm goes, I'm going to teach you stand-up.
You know, this was last year, right, Normie?
So I, you know, went on the road with him, and he basically is teaching me.
I sort of learned from him a lot.
And so we went across Canada, and now I go around here, and he takes me to
places.
Sometimes he learns from me, like, well, the other night I realized he learned
from me by saying a joke I told him on the airplane.
That's what's mentoring.
All of a sudden it's in his act.
I'm like, I thought I thought.
No, you just heard me tell you.
That's right.
Because I forgot which one of us said.
Well, then I won't do that one.
Sorry.
You, Norm, when you're acting and then doing the stand-up stuff, what do you
prefer to do?
What do you, what's more natural to you?
Oh, stand-up.
I just, that's the only thing I like to, I don't know how to act at all.
Like, sometimes when you're good at stand-up, like, they'll give you other
stuff for some reason.
It doesn't make any sense.
That you're not good at all.
So they'll go like, hey, you're a pretty good stand-up, you know.
Would you care to be an awful sitcom guy?
And you go, sure, I'll take it.
Most, and Kevin, you say improv is your background.
And, you know, I saw you in Vegas.
You had no planned material.
You just got started telling stories about your childhood.
It was hilarious.
But, Norm, I got to think that you write a lot of your stuff.
Yeah, I write it all.
How much of being a comedian for you is writing and how much is the delivery of
it?
Oh, I think it's pretty well all writing.
Yeah, I mean, but you can write, like, I don't really write things on paper so
much as I just think them up in my head, you know what I mean?
Then do you store them somewhere, or is it just kind of swimming around?
No, I store them in my head.
So nowhere do you have, like, written down what you'll do tonight at Helium?
I'll write down a list, like, of bullet points, you know.
I'll say, I'll write down, like, nine, ten subjects I want to talk about.
But not, I never memorize anything.
We've got Norm MacDonald and Kevin Farley in studio here on 750 The Game.
They're appearing tonight at Helium Comedy Club, 8 o'clock.
Helium rocks.
Also Friday and Saturday, two shows each, 7.30 and 10 o'clock.
I was at Helium last week, so I guess I missed.
They put your picture up there.
Did it rock?
They were like, Norm MacDonald's coming.
And then the guys they had on were not so good.
Oh, they're comics?
They weren't so good.
The emcee was good.
Yeah, yeah.
When the emcee's really good, and then the next act, and you're like, oh, the
emcee was better.
Oh, yeah.
Bring back him.
Yeah.
How much will you get out around Portland and do, like, Occupy Portland
material?
Ha, ha.
None.
Zero.
I'll go, like, I generally go down to the Coke machine.
That's it.
Like, I remember when my, because I get the blessing of traveling a lot, and my
dad, who
never traveled anywhere, was just a, you know, a farmer that never got out of
the Ottawa
Valley.
But he would, when I was doing stand-up, starting stand-up, you know, he'd say,
oh,
you're in St. Louis.
Did you see the arch, you know?
And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I saw it.
I never saw the arch.
Out your window.
Like, I never saw anything past the hotel bar.
So, but I pretended.
I'd go, yeah, it was, oh, it's something.
Because my dad, like, if he went, he for sure would go.
He'd walk around.
But I think you'd go around a little bit, right?
I like to walk around the city, yeah.
Yeah, you like to get, but it doesn't really help to, like, you don't want to
go, hey,
how about that mayor?
He's a drunk.
You know, you don't want to pander.
Like, I remember one time I saw George Thurgood as a kid, right?
You remember him?
Yeah, yeah.
And he did that song, one whiskey, one, whatever it was, bourbon, one beer.
Yeah, something like that.
But anyways, he changed one of the words, because he was in Ottawa, we were
watching him in
Ottawa, and he goes, come on and give me another shot of that Ottawa juice.
Come on now.
And we're like, what?
Why'd you say that?
You ruined everything.
Like, we're trying to pretend we don't live in Ottawa.
Like, you're the cool guy.
But you won't, like, none of your routine will be about, like, Portland.
Well, I'll talk about, yeah, I'll talk about whatever's going on.
Because I like the Occupy Portland thing, which Farley's all for now.
So I'm going to talk about that, because that sounds ridiculous.
Are you pretty conservative, Farley?
Me?
Yeah.
No, I mean, a lot of people think I am, but, you know, I don't like politics.
I mean, I really just, I don't like the conversations.
They always boil down into arguments, and I'd just rather avoid it.
Your house?
It's not, it's, he is, like, political, but it's hard to be funny.
I am political.
It's hard to, you know, it's a big mistake of comedians to start getting,
having opinions.
Because all of a sudden, it's not funny anymore, you know what I mean?
So it's not like an actor or whatever who comes out and says, I support Barack
Obama.
Once you do that, you know, now you're into another realm.
No, actors, well, you already know actors are complete idiots.
So it's like, you know, why would you even listen to them?
It's the funniest thing to me as an actor, because he's like, listen to me
about Iraq.
I'm like, aren't you a, don't you pretend for a living?
Yeah.
Like, what if you're pretending now?
Plus, it's such an idiotic job.
You're like, what, I'm going to listen to you, because you're good at
pretending to be another person?
What?
You learn nothing else.
We've got the history of shaving.
Chop, the producer of the show, is going to share.
Where did it start, man?
Where did it start, man?
Way back in the cave, man?
All right, so it was in the 1890s.
Oh, that's, wow.
And they actually started shaving due to the lice epidemic going around.
They wanted to curve that, so.
Oh, well, that's why I shave now.
Yeah, I've got horrible lice.
Norm Macdonald came in here in a.
That seems rather recent, doesn't it?
In the 1890s, yeah.
See, before that, no shaving.
Hey, wait a second.
That doesn't make any sense.
When was Lincoln president?
Well, he had a beard.
Yeah, but he was remarkable for having a beard.
The guys before him didn't have beards.
George Washington didn't have a beard.
No, I know.
He had to shave.
We had to double check that.
We might be getting some bad information.
We're just testing you.
Your phone's going off.
My phone's gone, and it's got an answer.
Don't let that happen during your stand-up.
You know what would happen.
He's going to take the call right now.
Norm Macdonald's taking the call.
We'll just stand by.
Wait for him.
It's an important call for someone else.
Oh, there you go.
I have a phone.
This is my phone.
Sorry about that, guys.
I have a phone, right?
So I get the phone.
And so the number, I guess, used to belong to a girl who didn't pay a lot of
her bills.
So about every fourth call I get is, hello, is Michelle there?
And I go, no, she doesn't live here.
She doesn't live here.
And when will she be back?
They all think I'm lying.
Like I'm covering for Michelle.
It's been going on for four years.
No way.
And then it's like from every, like one's a credit card, one's a student loan.
She was, this girl, this girl owes a lot of money.
This girl did not pay her bills.
I think I went out with her.
My phone, I had, I was working at the Fresno Bee and Andy Katz was with me.
And now he's on ESPN as the college football guy.
And I got Katz's cell phone when he left.
So the phone would ring and it would be like Dean Smith.
And I'd be like, who is this really?
Like who's messing around?
And it'd be like, where's Andy?
Like these guys calling to want to know what's going on.
Wow.
Are you guys that in tune with sports?
You got a UCLA sweatshirt on.
Yeah, I know sports.
McDonald.
This is just an accident.
I just get sweatshirt.
I get cold.
So I got sweatshirts and I don't know what's on them sometimes.
People come up to me.
Like sometimes there'll be some, the Cleveland Barons or something.
They'll go, yeah, I watched them.
You know, they were defunct 30 years ago.
I go, no, no, I just got it in a store.
I just bought it in a store.
Or I'll have like, if I, because if I go to a gig and it's cold, I'll just buy
a shirt.
So sometimes it'll say whatever, you know, pit, you know, or something like
that.
So then I forget what I'm wearing.
I'm walking down the street and people go, what are we going to do with that
coach?
And I go, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know.
It's a tough one.
Kevin Farley, growing up in your household with all the Farley boys, what was
that like?
Well, yeah, it was kind of like a frat house, basically.
It was weird for me.
You were in there, yeah, thank God.
We adopted Norm.
No, my mom and dad put us in a basement.
So we had four.
Okay, awesome.
Shouldn't you save this for a press conference?
I don't know.
No, wait, because there was four.
I mean, we had Chris, myself, and John, and then another brother, Tom.
So we had a basement to ourselves, and yeah.
Chris had his own section of the house.
Other people would call that a dungeon.
It was.
It was a dungeon.
And Chris had his own little section of the dungeon.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, it was more or less a dungeon.
That's when they fed you dog food.
Yeah.
Mom would just throw a bunch of dog food down the stairs and be like, go at it,
fellas.
Have fun.
We're getting a lot of requests for you to do the boy band Calculus song.
Calculus was a, yes.
Calculus was a boy band.
We were togethe