Name: norm bootleg 24
Uploaded: 2022-04-17T05:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'norm bootleg 24' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-17. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'norm bootleg 24' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-17. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

norm bootleg 24

*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
Oh man you guys
*Cheering*
That's sweet man
That's nice
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
I get all my wisdom off cups
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
*Cheering*
That's so wise to say a fish backward on account of the water. Every morning I
would drink coffee from my cup and I would read that fucking wise thing. That's
the wisest cup maker I ever felt about.
But then I'd go, "Fuck it, I'm not buying the water." I'd say, "599. I'll just
get a regular cup and remember that wise thing."
And then I'd go, "Wise things." I remember one time when they would think of a
wise thing.
Because I think people who stumble on them, people who are retards, they'd be
like, "It's better to be sorry than safe." I swish them around, right?
And then when I said it, I did it by mistake. I'll be honest with you.
It sounds like some wise fucker would say it.
So then I'd start to say to my friend, "Hey man, what do you think of this one?
It's better to be sorry than safe."
And then people would go, "Ah, Sandra Charles."
And they'd go, "No, it's not. It's why."
Because they knew it was me saying it.
So then I started doing this thing, because I was really convinced about that.
And so I started wiring around. I'd go, "Hey man."
And it's Winston Churchill.
Sorry, you see.
And then they'd go, "God damn, that's wise."
And I'd go, "It's me, your father."
And he'd go, "It's not wise." I'd go, "It's too late."
"It is wise. I know it is."
Why is it so unbelievable that a man can't comb one wise thing out of his
entire fucking life?
It's not a whirlwind.
I've got to learn how to use a mic stand.
That's on my to-do list on how to become a better stand-up.
Time to use a microtron stand.
I've got a big to-do list for that.
But I love Stanley.
I love the feeling of taking that.
Just, you know, it's such a beautiful feeling of taking a group of people, you
know.
And with my comedy, just transforming them into an unruly mom.
"This guy's watching him by my Uncle Buck."
I mean, that's a good stand-up show, look at him.
Everything's fast, not good girls.
That's how it's fun when you're starting to start saying, "Anyway, my Uncle Bae's
going..."
"Yeah, you know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"That's how it's fun when you're starting to start saying, 'anyway, my Uncle Bae's
going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"You know, Uncle Bae's going..."
"Anyways, I'll never forget Uncle Bae's going..."
"Uncle Bae's going..."
"Uncle Bae's going..."
"...on his deathbed..."
"It's close to me..."
"It's about you, actually..."
"I've never heard of this story..."
"You know, he's pregnant..."
"Well..."
"What was it?"
"Are we saying something?"
"About..."
"Basel or something?"
"Yeah..."
"I know, I was saying..."
"I was not anywhere..."
"I was playing...
"Sing to James..."
"Yeah, I was playing...
"Points..."
"Points..."
"Goddamn, you're 85 years old..."
"Excuse me, young as one..."
"My mom, she old..."
"She got a lot of that shit, man..."
"It's good for old people..."
"You know, because..."
"Because they get to..."
"The computer is fucking awesome!"
"My mom's 80, she gets to do shit..."
"And talk to people her age..."
"and people 75 years younger..."
"She doesn't talk to about a five year old..."
"But..."
"It's a huge gap..."
"And it keeps her going..."
"And you know..."
"She sits in the chair and does that all day..."
"And she used to sit in the chair and just do this..."
"So it's big, big..."
"Big hell..."
"I got my mom with me..."
"She ended up..."
"She ended up..."
"She's a different mom..."
"She settled in Ottawa..."
"And a lot of my brothers are there..."
"And..."
"Yeah, I had a wonderful..."
"Ottawa Valley is where..."
"Where my heritage comes from..."
"Yeah, goddamn right!"
"The last guy was here..."
"Gord MacDonald was here..."
"He has a nice drum up..."
"Gord A!"
"Do you know Gord A?"
"Gord A, are you here tonight?"
"Gord A, are you here tonight?"
"Goodnight."
"I can't approve, homie!"
"What?"
"Let the freedom in, Gord!"
"Wait, say what you said again?"
"Homie, what?"
"I'm an old man, I don't know that shit."
"I never caught up with like..."
"You know what I was talking about?"
"You know what I was talking about?"
"You don't know what the fuck's going on?"
"People come up and you go..."
"Mother fucker, you're the shit!"
"Thank you!"
"I'm not good man, you're shit!"
"And fuck your own mother!"
"Oh shit, they're mad at you!"
"But uh..."
"Words are all meaningless, just have to go by the sound of a person."
"You know?"
"What's more?"
"Oh shit, I know when people meet like, celebrities and shit."
"Sometimes they go, ah, not that I'm such a big celebrity."
"But some people, oh, I don't mean to buy it."
"Oh, and all that shit."
"Now this made me racist and shit."
"This is what I found with the brothers, you know?"
"I love the brothers, because they don't give a fuck."
"They're never like, I don't want to look like a fucking idiot."
"I love the kind of guy I never do."
"They're not like that at all."
"They do a thing that I've never seen a white guy do in my life."
"And I don't know if you've ever seen this, but they're like this."
"I don't know if they don't want to run out, they just run away."
"I'm like 30 blocks down here."
"And then they try to tell a lot of people who don't know who the fuck I am."
"Well, you know all this, by the way!"
"You know all this, by the way!"
"You're the thing."
"You're the thing."
"You're the thing."
"You're the thing."
"You're the thing."
"You're the thing."
"You're the thing."
"You're the thing."
"You're the thing."
"You're the thing that made me do things."
"I don't know the brothers, man."
"You do the black clubs, the brothers are fucking funny."
"You do the white clubs, everybody's the retards."
"Sick ducks, you know."
"You do the black clubs, motherfuckers are funnier than you."
"You're like, oh."
"That ain't fun at all."
"But of course Canada don't have black guys."
"I understand that you've been experimenting a little with it."
"The close name was Pakistani."
"We call them Packies."
"They're just the nicest people in the world, you know."
"And we said, when people named people, 'Hey, that a goddamn Packies."
"You're the most polite people I've ever met."
"Yeah, fuck 'em."
"We got a branch for us."
"We had a branch for us, which was me."
"You know, tell me to tell me that hard."
"Cause we've been around so long, if I have an election or shit."
"And I'll tell you about many elections, 'cause it was very easy when I was
young."
"It was just, vote for the man who is not French."
"I didn't really have to call them."
"It was obviously a badder place back then."
"And, uh, and, uh, you know, people progressed a lot of ways."
"But instead, obviously, with love, this guy, man, you gotta be able to love,
you know, people, you know, language."
"It was gonna be the only thing that stops you from loving someone."
"And not understanding a single fucking word the other person says."
"It's gonna somehow get between..."
"You know, let's do it."
"I remember one time, I came from Quebec City, I walked into the Chateau Laurier,
Chateau Frontenac in Quebec City."
"And they said they had a language lot for every English word, you had to have
a French word right beside it."
"So it was a hotel, you know, the Chateau Frontenac."
"And it said, so anyways, it sat behind the, the thing that was a sign."
"It said 'Reception' and then there was a slash, right?"
"Reception, slash, reception."
"You're fucking crazy."
"We got elections, like, in America, and then elections that are, like,
important, because you're voting for the wrong guy, and the world blows up."
"It's like serious stuff, you know."
"And that doesn't happen with Canberra, you know."
"Like, really, you know."
"Nothing terrible is gonna happen."
"But that's why I don't vote in America, plus, I'm an American citizen."
"I don't want to vote, but I wouldn't anyway, because I would not want to make
the wrong decision."
"And then the fucking rumor blows up, and then they're like, 'Can you vote for
that guy?'"
"I'm like, 'Oh, I don't know. He's a good speaker, a good public speaker, that's
what I choose."
"I never voted in Canada, because the stakes in Canada seem so crazy low."
"Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, in America, you talk about your
life and go, 'What do you vote? What's your, what's your, what's your vote for
a bail?"
"You know, health insurance for everybody, and get out of war, get the, get the
troops on, get our boys on."
"And, uh, that's what's important to me, and of course, the economy."
"Then in Canada, you go, 'What, what are you going for?' And people go, 'Well,
what the fuck do you think? The bridge!'"
"They got to lose that bridge, they got to lose that bridge, they got to lose
that bridge, they got to lose that bridge, they got to lose that bridge."
"And I believe that's about on the other end."
"So, I'm not that political. I think the real political, you got, you know what
I know you're really into politics, is when you start putting up signs, like,
on your fucking grass."
"And lawn and shit, that's not even for the leader, it's for, like, alderman or
something."
"I don't even know what that is, you know what I mean?"
"Like, horns be for alderman, you know, it works."
"Well, I could all vote for horns be."
"That guy went to the treble, you know, we're doing that."
"It's going to be important to something."
"That's the biggest difference, really, when you think about it, is that the
Americans, you get to vote for the president, you get to vote for the man that
will be the leader, you know, but here, you don't."
"You don't get to vote for Harper, not like that, you just get to vote, like,
for your riding, so you just get to vote for some fucker down the street like
that."
"And then he comes to your house, and you're like, so anyway, what about that
fucking bridge?"
"I'm tired of that shit."
"Yeah, it's like, that's the first order of business, I'm prepared."
"Well, you got my votes, bro."
"Anyways, you know, you don't get a chance that you can't go to Harper, but I
voted for you, sir, you gotta go."
"You ever hear of a fella named Bill Hankerson?"
"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know."
"So then your guy, he goes to the House of Accountants, which is a fucking
super cool place, and he has a chair, he puts you after that, and then people
wear wigs from the 14th century."
"And then they go, okay, any order of business, hey, what about, you got
something to say, Henderson, do you see your hands up?"
"And he's like, yes, I was thinking, we got a bridge, and what about her, like,
when you go on it, there's a bump, and they go, what the fuck are you talking
about?"
"A bridge, or sit down, shut the fuck up, and you get to stay."
"They call me, hey, what's up, going on with the bridge?"
"It's like, we're working on it, you know, with three people, and it's a dry
bill."
"That's some bullshit."
"I don't got no, I don't got no opinions, I know I'm against power, fuck that
power shit."
"I'm like, none of that shit."
"It's like the Queen, Queen is still the Queen of Canada."
"I didn't even kno