Name: Episode 8 Drive, Norm Said 1999 05 12
Uploaded: 2022-05-15T05:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Episode 8 Drive, Norm Said 1999 05 12' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-15. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Episode 8 Drive, Norm Said 1999 05 12' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-15. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

What are you doing?
I'm getting ready for my date.
The illustrated guide to the human anatomy?
Wow, she really look hot with skin, huh?
What's wrong with you? This is a serious medical journal.
You know, I met a pretty girl the other day,
and I said to her, "What do you do for a living?"
And then she said, "I'm a doctor."
And then I said, "Me, too."
I can't believe you did that.
Oh, no, it is cool.
I read this book once on conversation.
It said you can talk intelligently on any subject
as long as you know five facts.
So what kind of doctor did you tell her you were?
Well, she was a foot doctor, you know,
so I tried to impress her by going higher up in the body,
you know, so I said I was a heart doctor.
A cardiologist?
Cardiologist? That's excellent.
Hey, thanks again for lunch, Molly.
Oh, sure thing. Hey, good luck on your date tonight.
Oh, thanks. I keep my fingers crossed.
I really like Kira.
Really? Well, you're new.
You don't like her?
No, I didn't say that.
I have nothing but happy, happy thoughts for Kira.
Uh-huh. Why don't you like her?
I don't like to badmouth anybody,
but she is an evil, lying troll
who takes pleasure in the misery of others,
and if life was fair,
she and her tacky teddy bear accessories
would perish on the burning rocks of hell,
but that might just be me.
Danny, what do you think of Kira?
Well, I don't like her as much as Lori does, but...
Hey, Norm.
I thought this might be of interest to you.
This guy that you used to play hockey with
just signed a $3 million deal.
Oh, look, he just made your yearly salary.
Oh, tick, tick, tick. Look, he just made it again.
Wow, $3 million. Wow.
You'd have to have sex with 12 million guys
to make that kind of money, right?
Hey, Lori.
Yes, sir.
Good news.
The governor has approved funding
for that program you proposed.
My meals for the homeless van?
Yes, congratulations.
I'm really delighted at the reflected glory
it brings to our office.
I'm not much of a hugger, so...
Oh, my God!
Congratulations, Lori.
Yeah, thanks, Kira.
I guess not having a life paid off for you.
I'm sorry.
I can't believe it.
I've been proposing this thing for years.
Well, you can't drive the van, though.
You don't have a driver's license.
Well, I'm not gonna drive the van.
I'm gonna run the program.
Oh.
Hey, wait a minute.
You don't have a driver's license?
I'm a very good driver.
I've just frozen up on the test a few times.
That's pretty irresponsible.
I'll let you drive my car, you know?
What would happen if you got into an accident, you know?
What, with me not having insurance or anything?
Too bad.
Too bad that you're not as smart as you thought you were in the first place.
Too bad that you had to get caught.
That's not like you to lose face.
So sad that you're not as smart as you thought you were in the first place.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Hey, Norm. What are you looking for?
Oh, my date.
Oh, don't worry. She'll show up. I mean, you paid for her.
Are you here a little early, Kira?
You usually don't get attractive till last call.
Actually, I'm waiting for a date, too.
Oh, and by the way, we're going to be laughing a lot.
I'm pointing at your table.
Just so you don't get the wrong idea, we're making fun of you.
Hey, Shelly.
Dr. Henderson.
I'm glad you were able to get away from the hospital.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, it's amazing to think that only this morning
I was holding another person's heart in my hands.
That must be an incredible feeling.
Oh, yeah, it feels great. It feels so great.
Sometimes I don't even want to put it back in the dude's chest, you know,
where I found it, but I always do, because that's my job.
Boy, I found podiatry school really overwhelming.
I can't imagine having the knowledge you must have to do what you do.
Oh, well, you never stop learning, I'll tell you that, you know.
I'm always surprised to find that the human heart
actually is not heart-shaped.
You're hilarious.
Oh, yeah? All right, sure.
It's such a rapidly evolving field.
So, have you ever participated in a heart-lung transplant?
Holy Lord God, no.
No, no, no.
I am firmly of the belief
that a heart should never serve as a lung.
And conversely, a lung should never serve as a heart.
It's blasphemy.
Wait a minute.
Are you really a doctor?
Of course I'm a doctor.
Why, I saved a woman's life
in this very establishment just yesterday, you know?
She, uh, she needed the Heimlich Maneuver,
which was named after the German doctor
of the same name, Dr. Heimlich Maneuver.
She, uh, she had a large piece of steak, you see,
lodged deep down in her, uh, fallopian tubes there.
And, uh, I Heimlich'd her, then everything was all right.
Oh, my God.
You're the dumbest man I've ever met.
Wait, uh, uh, I lied
because I thought you wouldn't like me
if you knew that I was an astronaut.
Little trouble there, Sparky?
At least my date showed up, all right?
Yours didn't even have the guts
to show up and finish the prank.
So?
So what?
So he didn't show up.
When you run into him at Schmucktoberfest,
tell him I said hi.
Yeah, yank me.
You wish.
No, you wish.
No, you wish.
No, you wish.
No, you wish.
No, you wish.
No, you wish.
Oh, I didn't see that one coming.
So, uh, I understand you've recently gone on public assistance.
Yeah, I can't get a job.
I don't get it.
I mean, I've got a degree in food preparation.
Oh.
What?
You do, uh, you do, uh, food preparation?
Have you considered other fields?
Uh, like, say, um, oh, I don't know, zoo work?
I don't want to do nothing else.
Cooking is my first love.
Um, uh, how to say this?
Um, well, see, the thing is, in, uh, in food preparation,
well, in the, in the, uh, the restaurant industry in general,
um, do you realize how much hair you have?
Maybe you should try shaving.
What are you talking about?
I shave every morning.
Yeah, but, uh, uh, don't stop at your neck.
Keep, uh, keep going until you hit your ankles.
Danny, Danny, Danny, something horrible happened.
Something so horrible, I can't even make my mouth say the words.
I can't be that bad.
You can tell me.
I had sex with Kira.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Well, how could you do that?
Oh, she always seems so horrible.
Well, when you get her away from the office,
I mean, is there another side to her?
Is she vulnerable or sensitive?
No, there's no other side.
She's evil.
On both sides, evil.
Oh, it's unbelievable.
You, you had sex with the most horrible person in the office.
I know, maybe the whole world.
How did this happen?
Oh, no, I was drinking.
She was drinking.
Before you knew it, I was making the beast with two backs
with the, with the beast with two backs.
Did you take her home?
No, I was afraid she'd scare the dog.
I did it right there in the car, you know?
And it was gross when the, when the moonlight hit her hooves there.
Oh, man.
Did you actually talk to her?
Yeah, well, you know, afterwards, you know, she was babbling,
you know, she's all lovey-dovey.
She's like, you know, what are you thinking, you know?
I said, well, I'm thinking of filing a lawsuit
against the Jack Daniels Corporation.
Hello, Noah.
Hello, how are you?
Good, how are you?
Good to see you.
Good to see you.
Oh, you know what?
I'd love to talk to you,
but I got a call on hold here that I had to talk to.
Hello.
Yes.
Oh, what's that?
You have to speak with me for a really long time, huh?
Well, I guess Norm came in this morning and did a little bragging.
Mm-hmm.
Do you call it bragging if he whips himself with a branch while he says it?
Oh, that's funny coming from a guy who sleeps in a Touched by an Angel t-shirt.
How'd you know that?
Norm likes to chat about his friends when he gets drunk.
Well, did he also tell you I wear Walker Texas Ranger shorts, which cancels it
out?
Hey, Cory, uh, the budget just came in for your meals for the homeless man.
Mm, great.
Hey, wait, what happened to the money for the driver?
Well, that didn't come through, but it's not going to be a problem, is it?
I thought you could probably drive yourself.
Oh, no, yeah, that's, yeah, that's not a problem.
Well, I think that would be a very big problem since you don't have a driver's
license.
You don't have a driver's license?
You put your name down as a backup driver in the event of an emergency.
Yeah, I have an explanation.
Lori, Lori, I can't believe that you'd falsify a form.
I can't believe it myself, sir.
It's the worst thing I've ever done in my whole life, except for that time at
Bible camp,
where I said that I saw Jesus just to impress my counselor.
You get a license and you get it by Thursday.
I'll get somebody else to head this job.
Yes, sir, I'm very sorry, sir.
You wicked witch flying devil monkey.
How did you know that?
I have my ways.
Oh, if I had water in here, you'd be melting right now.
Kira, when I told you that stuff, I said it was in confidence.
Oh, I didn't hear that.
Maybe that's when your butt was on the car horn.
That was the car horn?
I thought you were making that noise.
Well, don't worry.
I'm not going to tell Lori where I heard it.
Huh, you won't?
No, why would I do that?
You're my boyfriend.
What?
I mean, you're what?
You're my boyfriend.
Oh, hi, Kira.
Hey.
Boo Bear wants to say hi.
Why don't you tickle his belly?
Oh, yeah, for sure.
There you go, Boo Bear.
Oh, look, his eye fell out.
You can't get away from me that easily.
I've got my eye on you.
Yeah, that's very sweet and clever and creepy.
Are you trying to break up with me?
No, no.
It's just that, you know, I don't want to get in trouble with everybody here at
the office.
So, uh, so, uh, you know, hey, maybe to keep him off track, why don't I just
pretend to find you repulsive?
That's good, because then we would have, like, a secret kind of love.
Exactly, exactly.
So, uh, get away from me!
You disgust me!
The very sight of you makes me want to, want to puke in your face!
So romantic.
Oh, hey, Laura, hey, hey, hey, how'd the driving test go?
Um, it looked like I was going to pass until I killed a squirrel.
You killed a squirrel?
It didn't survive the fall from the tree I hit.
So, now I can only take it one more time this month, and it can't be in a
residential neighborhood.
Man, I feel terrible about this, Danny.
This is all my fault.
I-I gotta find a way for her to pass the stupid test.
Hey, what about that guy you had, that client?
He was, like, 95 years old.
He got a driver's license.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can call him up and find out where he got it.
But you know what?
Let the, uh, let the phone ring about 15 times,
because he answers all his coffee mugs first.
Joey!
Hey.
Huh.
And this must be your mom.
I want to talk to your supervisor.
Oh, hi.
I'm Max Dendy.
Uh, can I help you?
Ma'am.
Do you know what your Mr. Sanchez did?
He made my Joey ashamed of his body.
Ma.
No?
I want to get this off my chest.
Oh, my goodness.
My Joey comes in here looking for a job.
And look what this guy makes him do.
Oh.
Oh.
I-I assure you.
I assure you that Danny and I are going to work day and night
to get your son a job.
You better, because you're going to see me in here every day
until my son's employed.
You're staring at my bosom, aren't you?
Oh.
Don't be ashamed.
You're not the first man to be caught staring.
Come on, Joey.
Let's go.
In the name of everything holy and decent,
get that man a job.
Lori, Lori.
Thanks a lot.
I got great news, man.
I got this DMV guy up in Albany.
He'll pass anybody.
But we're not bribing anybody.
No, no, no, no.
All we have to do is go in and ask for the guy from Finland.
Apparently, he passes everybody, you know?
It turns out that the people from Finland
have a hard time saying no.
Really?
That's fantastic.
Oh, yeah.
That's great news.
Plus, it's going to help me plan my next vacation.
Now, who are we supposed to ask for?
No, don't worry.
I'll handle everything.
Excuse me, sir.
We have an appointment for a driving test
with a man from Finland.
You can't get him,
but I can give you your road test now.
What?
No, no.
No, you see, sir,
we need the man from Finland.
You see, Miss Freeman here,
she only speaks Finlandish.
Well, I'm sorry, but he's been fired.
But don't worry.
If you're her translator,
you'll be allowed to come along on the road test.
What?
Me?
I can translate?
Yes.
Tell her to relax.
It'll be all right.
All right.
Just relax.
I mean, uh,
uh,
relax, uh,
uh,
uh,
uh,
not to screw the yet-ski.
So she doesn't speak any English, huh?
No.
I've heard Finnish women are very docile.
Oh, yeah?
Like, I've been going through these mail-order bride catalogs,
and they keep pushing these Asian girls on you
because they're docile, see?
Uh-huh.
About a hit of Finnish women are even more docile
because they're, you know,
a more domesticated breed than your average Asian lady.
Targeting horse and asses.
Tell her to take a ride up here.
Oh, uh, uh,
hangender Ralph.
Yeah, yeah.
Watch out for the curb.
Uh,
lookender curber.
Look out.
Funder.
H.
Funder.
Switch lanes.
Uh,
kristen and krassen.
Yeah.
So, uh,
are you two involved?
Oh, no, no, no.
We're just friends.
Really?
Do you think she'd go out with me?
I don't know.
I'll ask her.
Hey, uh, Laurie, uh, uh,
floggin' and strokin'
with the driver-instructor-ski.
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Uh, goofin' killin' me first, eh?
She says yes.
She won't.
Oh, wrong way!
Ah!
What?
You are doin' okay.
What is this, a C-cup?
The bears are a nice touch.
Bears?
Funder bears?
Oh, Funder.
What?
Kira bears?
Kira bears stoopin'?
Uh, uh,
uh, uh,
Tanne drinkin'.
Beautiful, lovin' secret.
Uh, axedunzka, axedunzka.
Uh, uh, uh, uh, tinken mit, uh, schnitzel.
Oh, no!
Damn it, damn you!
This is amazing.
I really understand a lot of what you're saying.
Uh, pullin' park.
Uh, uh, pullin'--
Uh, pullin' park.
Uh, uh, pullin'--
Uh, pullin'--
Yeah, parkin'.
Yeah.
Congratulations.
Tell her she passed.
Uh, uh, whatin' she happen?
Uh, utin' passin'.
Oh!
Yeah, stoppin' yellin', right?
Uh, even Stephen?
She'll get her official license in the mail in six weeks.
Listen, about that date.
Let me see what I get in the mail first.
Droppin' dead and heart attackin'.
This is great, Lori.
You see what happened?
You-you know, you were so busy being mad that you forgot to be nervous.
I can't believe you're the one that told her.
Yeah, I know.
I-I'm really sorry, Lori.
It was an accident.
Ugh!
Come on.
You can punish me any way you want, okay?
All right.
I want you to wear that bra on your head for the rest of the day, starting now.
Huh?
Punishment?
That's no punishment.
I-I was planning on doing that the whole time anyway, so...
I-I wasn't really planning on doing that.
Wear it.
All right.
I wanna wear my underwear.
They're in the glove compartment.
They're in the glove compartment.
So, how's it going with Chewbacca?
I got him a job.
You're kidding.
Where?
Never mind.
Oh, my God.
But you heard.
Norm is dead.
Oh, my God.
Excuse me, Kira.
Oh, God.
What is wrong with you people?
A man has died.
Yeah, we heard.
But what are you gonna do?
Hello, hello.
Oh, Kira, I-have you met Norm's, uh, twin cousin, Chauncey?
He's gonna be...
He'll be taking over Norm's job.
Hello, love.
Oh, how stupid do you think I am?
You think you're the first man who's tried to fake his death to get away from
me?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You didn't even try.
You didn't even bother to put glass in your glass.
Ow!
I mean, uh, ow, mate.
Oh, God.
This is so pathetic.
This is over, you idiots.
You think I look smarter in these?
You think I look smarter in these?

Episode 8   Drive, Norm Said 1999 05 12

What are you doing?
I'm getting ready for my date.
The illustrated guide to the human anatomy?
Wow, she really look hot with skin, huh?
What's wrong with you? This is a serious medical journal.
You know, I met a pretty girl the other day,
and I said to her, "What do you do for a living?"
And then she said, "I'm a doctor."
And then I said, "Me, too."
I can't believe you did that.
Oh, no, it is cool.
I read this book once on conversation.
It said you can talk intelligently on any subject
as long as you know five facts.
So what kind of doctor did you tell her you were?
Well, she was a foot doctor, you know,
so I tried to impress her by going higher up in the body,
you know, so I said I was a heart doctor.
A cardiologist?
Cardiologist? That's excellent.
Hey, thanks again for lunch, Molly.
Oh, sure thing. Hey, good luck on your date tonight.
Oh, thanks. I keep my fingers crossed.
I really like Kira.
Really? Well, you're new.
You don't like her?
No, I didn't say that.
I have nothing but happy, happy thoughts for Kira.
Uh-huh. Why don't you like her?
I don't like to badmouth anybody,
but she is an evil, lying troll
who takes pleasure in the misery of others,
and if life was fair,
she and her tacky teddy bear accessories
would perish on the burning rocks of hell,
but that might just be me.
Danny, what do you think of Kira?
Well, I don't like her as much as Lori does, but...
Hey, Norm.
I thought this might be of interest to you.
This guy that you used to play hockey with
just signed a $3 million deal.
Oh, look, he just made your yearly salary.
Oh, tick, tick, tick. Look, he just made it again.
Wow, $3 million. Wow.
You'd have to have sex with 12 million guys
to make that kind of money, right?
Hey, Lori.
Yes, sir.
Good news.
The governor has approved funding
for that program you proposed.
My meals for the homeless van?
Yes, congratulations.
I'm really delighted at the reflected glory
it brings to our office.
I'm not much of a hugger, so...
Oh, my God!
Congratulations, Lori.
Yeah, thanks, Kira.
I guess not having a life paid off for you.
I'm sorry.
I can't believe it.
I've been proposing this thing for years.
Well, you can't drive the van, though.
You don't have a driver's license.
Well, I'm not gonna drive the van.
I'm gonna run the program.
Oh.
Hey, wait a minute.
You don't have a driver's license?
I'm a very good driver.
I've just frozen up on the test a few times.
That's pretty irresponsible.
I'll let you drive my car, you know?
What would happen if you got into an accident, you know?
What, with me not having insurance or anything?
Too bad.
Too bad that you're not as smart as you thought you were in the first place.
Too bad that you had to get caught.
That's not like you to lose face.
So sad that you're not as smart as you thought you were in the first place.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Hey, Norm. What are you looking for?
Oh, my date.
Oh, don't worry. She'll show up. I mean, you paid for her.
Are you here a little early, Kira?
You usually don't get attractive till last call.
Actually, I'm waiting for a date, too.
Oh, and by the way, we're going to be laughing a lot.
I'm pointing at your table.
Just so you don't get the wrong idea, we're making fun of you.
Hey, Shelly.
Dr. Henderson.
I'm glad you were able to get away from the hospital.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, it's amazing to think that only this morning
I was holding another person's heart in my hands.
That must be an incredible feeling.
Oh, yeah, it feels great. It feels so great.
Sometimes I don't even want to put it back in the dude's chest, you know,
where I found it, but I always do, because that's my job.
Boy, I found podiatry school really overwhelming.
I can't imagine having the knowledge you must have to do what you do.
Oh, well, you never stop learning, I'll tell you that, you know.
I'm always surprised to find that the human heart
actually is not heart-shaped.
You're hilarious.
Oh, yeah? All right, sure.
It's such a rapidly evolving field.
So, have you ever participated in a heart-lung transplant?
Holy Lord God, no.
No, no, no.
I am firmly of the belief
that a heart should never serve as a lung.
And conversely, a lung should never serve as a heart.
It's blasphemy.
Wait a minute.
Are you really a doctor?
Of course I'm a doctor.
Why, I saved a woman's life
in this very establishment just yesterday, you know?
She, uh, she needed the Heimlich Maneuver,
which was named after the German doctor
of the same name, Dr. Heimlich Maneuver.
She, uh, she had a large piece of steak, you see,
lodged deep down in her, uh, fallopian tubes there.
And, uh, I Heimlich'd her, then everything was all right.
Oh, my God.
You're the dumbest man I've ever met.
Wait, uh, uh, I lied
because I thought you wouldn't like me
if you knew that I was an astronaut.
Little trouble there, Sparky?
At least my date showed up, all right?
Yours didn't even have the guts
to show up and finish the prank.
So?
So what?
So he didn't show up.
When you run into him at Schmucktoberfest,
tell him I said hi.
Yeah, yank me.
You wish.
No, you wish.
No, you wish.
No, you wish.
No, you wish.
No, you wish.
No, you wish.
Oh, I didn't see that one coming.
So, uh, I understand you've recently gone on public assistance.
Yeah, I can't get a job.
I don't get it.
I mean, I've got a degree in food preparation.
Oh.
What?
You do, uh, you do, uh, food preparation?
Have you considered other fields?
Uh, like, say, um, oh, I don't know, zoo work?
I don't want to do nothing else.
Cooking is my first love.
Um, uh, how to say this?
Um, well, see, the thing is, in, uh, in food preparation,
well, in the, in the, uh, the restaurant industry in general,
um, do you realize how much hair you have?
Maybe you should try shaving.
What are you talking about?
I shave every morning.
Yeah, but, uh, uh, don't stop at your neck.
Keep, uh, keep going until you hit your ankles.
Danny, Danny, Danny, something horrible happened.
Something so horrible, I can't even make my mouth say the words.
I can't be that bad.
You can tell me.
I had sex with Kira.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Well, how could you do that?
Oh, she always seems so horrible.
Well, when you get her away from the office,
I mean, is there another side to her?
Is she vulnerable or sensitive?
No, there's no other side.
She's evil.
On both sides, evil.
Oh, it's unbelievable.
You, you had sex with the most horrible person in the office.
I know, maybe the whole world.
How did this happen?
Oh, no, I was drinking.
She was drinking.
Before you knew it, I was making the beast with two backs
with the, with the beast with two backs.
Did you take her home?
No, I was afraid she'd scare the dog.
I did it right there in the car, you know?
And it was gross when the, when the moonlight hit her hooves there.
Oh, man.
Did you actually talk to her?
Yeah, well, you know, afterwards, you know, she was babbling,
you know, she's all lovey-dovey.
She's like, you know, what are you thinking, you know?
I said, well, I'm thinking of filing a lawsuit
against the Jack Daniels Corporation.
Hello, Noah.
Hello, how are you?
Good, how are you?
Good to see you.
Good to see you.
Oh, you know what?
I'd love to talk to you,
but I got a call on hold here that I had to talk to.
Hello.
Yes.
Oh, what's that?
You have to speak with me for a really long time, huh?
Well, I guess Norm came in this morning and did a little bragging.
Mm-hmm.
Do you call it bragging if he whips himself with a branch while he says it?
Oh, that's funny coming from a guy who sleeps in a Touched by an Angel t-shirt.
How'd you know that?
Norm likes to chat about his friends when he gets drunk.
Well, did he also tell you I wear Walker Texas Ranger shorts, which cancels it
out?
Hey, Cory, uh, the budget just came in for your meals for the homeless man.
Mm, great.
Hey, wait, what happened to the money for the driver?
Well, that didn't come through, but it's not going to be a problem, is it?
I thought you could probably drive yourself.
Oh, no, yeah, that's, yeah, that's not a problem.
Well, I think that would be a very big problem since you don't have a driver's
license.
You don't have a driver's license?
You put your name down as a backup driver in the event of an emergency.
Yeah, I have an explanation.
Lori, Lori, I can't believe that you'd falsify a form.
I can't believe it myself, sir.
It's the worst thing I've ever done in my whole life, except for that time at
Bible camp,
where I said that I saw Jesus just to impress my counselor.
You get a license and you get it by Thursday.
I'll get somebody else to head this job.
Yes, sir, I'm very sorry, sir.
You wicked witch flying devil monkey.
How did you know that?
I have my ways.
Oh, if I had water in here, you'd be melting right now.
Kira, when I told you that stuff, I said it was in confidence.
Oh, I didn't hear that.
Maybe that's when your butt was on the car horn.
That was the car horn?
I thought you were making that noise.
Well, don't worry.
I'm not going to tell Lori where I heard it.
Huh, you won't?
No, why would I do that?
You're my boyfriend.
What?
I mean, you're what?
You're my boyfriend.
Oh, hi, Kira.
Hey.
Boo Bear wants to say hi.
Why don't you tickle his belly?
Oh, yeah, for sure.
There you go, Boo Bear.
Oh, look, his eye fell out.
You can't get away from me that easily.
I've got my eye on you.
Yeah, that's very sweet and clever and creepy.
Are you trying to break up with me?
No, no.
It's just that, you know, I don't want to get in trouble with everybody here at
the office.
So, uh, so, uh, you know, hey, maybe to keep him off track, why don't I just
pretend to find you repulsive?
That's good, because then we would have, like, a secret kind of love.
Exactly, exactly.
So, uh, get away from me!
You disgust me!
The very sight of you makes me want to, want to puke in your face!
So romantic.
Oh, hey, Laura, hey, hey, hey, how'd the driving test go?
Um, it looked like I was going to pass until I killed a squirrel.
You killed a squirrel?
It didn't survive the fall from the tree I hit.
So, now I can only take it one more time this month, and it can't be in a
residential neighborhood.
Man, I feel terrible about this, Danny.
This is all my fault.
I-I gotta find a way for her to pass the stupid test.
Hey, what about that guy you had, that client?
He was, like, 95 years old.
He got a driver's license.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can call him up and find out where he got it.
But you know what?
Let the, uh, let the phone ring about 15 times,
because he answers all his coffee mugs first.
Joey!
Hey.
Huh.
And this must be your mom.
I want to talk to your supervisor.
Oh, hi.
I'm Max Dendy.
Uh, can I help you?
Ma'am.
Do you know what your Mr. Sanchez did?
He made my Joey ashamed of his body.
Ma.
No?
I want to get this off my chest.
Oh, my goodness.
My Joey comes in here looking for a job.
And look what this guy makes him do.
Oh.
Oh.
I-I assure you.
I assure you that Danny and I are going to work day and night
to get your son a job.
You better, because you're going to see me in here every day
until my son's employed.
You're staring at my bosom, aren't you?
Oh.
Don't be ashamed.
You're not the first man to be caught staring.
Come on, Joey.
Let's go.
In the name of everything holy and decent,
get that man a job.
Lori, Lori.
Thanks a lot.
I got great news, man.
I got this DMV guy up in Albany.
He'll pass anybody.
But we're not bribing anybody.
No, no, no, no.
All we have to do is go in and ask for the guy from Finland.
Apparently, he passes everybody, you know?
It turns out that the people from Finland
have a hard time saying no.
Really?
That's fantastic.
Oh, yeah.
That's great news.
Plus, it's going to help me plan my next vacation.
Now, who are we supposed to ask for?
No, don't worry.
I'll handle everything.
Excuse me, sir.
We have an appointment for a driving test
with a man from Finland.
You can't get him,
but I can give you your road test now.
What?
No, no.
No, you see, sir,
we need the man from Finland.
You see, Miss Freeman here,
she only speaks Finl