Name: Episode 30 Laurie Loses it 2000 03 15
Uploaded: 2022-06-06T05:00:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Episode 30 Laurie Loses it 2000 03 15' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-06. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Episode 30 Laurie Loses it 2000 03 15' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-06. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

So, for our, uh, date on Saturday,
you may want to bring an overnight bag.
Oh, great. We're going on a trip?
Okay.
Hi, Artie. What are you doing here?
Uh, me and Norm are gonna make a long-distance call
to our dad. It's his birthday.
Yeah, we call him every year.
We make a big deal out of it.
Hey, we get all sappy on the phone.
It's kind of nice, you know.
Okay, it's ringing.
Hey, Dad, happy birthday!
Okay, bye.
Taylor?
Hank, I don't believe it.
What are you doing here?
Well, I just got a job down in maintenance,
but I'm trying to get a desk job.
I'm taking the civil service exam next week.
Oh, that is so great.
Yeah, yeah, it's really, really great.
Uh, Danny, this is Hank.
He went to my high school.
He was the quarterback when I was the cheerleader.
Oh, no kidding.
Yeah, I was a cheerleader, too, yeah.
Bottom of the pyramid.
Hey, I thought you were trying to date Taylor.
I'm not trying. I am dating her.
We're going out this Saturday.
Oh, that'll be great.
I thought you could grab some dinner, then go watch her have sex with that guy.
They're just old friends, and there's nothing to worry about.
Not yet. It's a matter of time. We're talking genetics here.
Millions of years of evolution dictate that they should be together.
Beautiful people go with beautiful people.
The rest of us have to pick from the drinks.
That's not always true.
Oh, yeah? Who'd your father end up with?
Hey, that's my mother.
Uh-oh.
The whole thing is unfair.
The only way we're going to have equality in this world is if guys like me and
you
get with women like Taylor.
That way, after the interbreeding, everyone will be like a six.
Well, Norm, I finally got you right where I want to.
What? I'm not on a mattress in the back of your van, sir.
Don't you, don't you try to squirm out of this one, Norm.
You purchased a handheld video game with office money.
Prove it.
I'm holding the receipt in my hand, and the video game is right here on your
desk.
Sir, I asked Norm to buy that for little Scott Ripley.
He's been in the hospital for three weeks.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Yeah, I didn't say it earlier, sir, because I didn't want to shame you.
But now that the cat's out of the bag, may I just say, uh, sheesh.
I'm gonna love that guy, huh?
You were supposed to give that to little Scott Ripley.
Ah, he can't use it. He's got no thumbs.
Hey, Cory, you got a letter from the Social Worker Awards.
I didn't know you were nominated for associate.
Oh, I don't even care. I get nominated every year,
and I never win anyway, so it's no big deal to me.
I didn't win.
Ah, I can tell you're upset there, Laura, you know.
You know what you always used to tell me when you were my social workers?
You gotta let it out. You know, you gotta let it out.
Here, you know, you should, you should just hit something.
Artie, come here.
Not gonna hit Artie.
Hey, nice skirt.
I'd be getting all hot if I didn't know you had old lady underwear on under
there.
See, Artie's good for that.
He's good for that.
I just wanted a little recognition.
You know, you think that after 15 years of working holidays and every weekend
helping people,
that would count for something.
Man, she's really taken it hard this year.
If there was some way we could make her feel appreciated, you know.
Hey, uh, hey, what if we had a party at my place, you know,
and we invited all the old clients of hers.
Hey, that's a great idea, yeah.
We could share how she's helped people by bringing together all her success
stories.
You can't come, Norm.
Too bad that you're not as smart as you thought you were in the first place.
Too bad that you had to get caught.
That's not like you to lose face.
So sad that you're not as smart as you thought you were in the first place.
Okay, everybody.
Thanks for coming.
Relax.
Have some food.
But remember...
Mine!
Surprise!
No, we're not Lori.
Lori's still parking the car.
Uh, who are these people?
Oh, these are all of Lori's success stories.
No, they're not.
They're all her failures.
No, they're not.
I checked in their files and they've all found God.
They're all, what do you call, recidivists.
Recidivism isn't a religion.
A recidivist is someone who's fallen back on their bad patterns.
That's obsessive-compulsive Gavin.
Lori had him almost cured, but he stopped taking his medication so he could
keep his nickname.
Look, Danny, you gotta help me get these people out, you know, before Lori
shows up.
Uh, uh, hey, listen, aren't you that guy that, uh, that lives with his mother?
And, uh, you gotta touch all the doorknobs before you leave the house?
Yeah, 12 times, otherwise something bad will happen.
Uh, hey, uh, you sure you touched him 12 times today?
I think so.
Well, 11, 12, what's the difference?
I just didn't want your mother to die.
Okay, everybody, listen up. Listen, I made a little mistake there.
I thought you were normal people.
But anyways, I apologize for any inconvenience, but, uh, you know, like society,
I have no further use for you.
So let's go.
It's Lori.
Huh?
All right, sit down.
Listen, everybody, uh, uh, uh, whatever freaky thing it is that you do, just
don't do it for the next 20 minutes, all right?
Surprise!
What is this?
Well, this is, uh, a little, uh, party for you to show how much you're
appreciated.
I've gathered together all the recidivists, as I refer to them, on purpose, so,
so that you could see that you've helped people that you don't even know you've
helped, Lori.
I didn't help these people. You don't know the meaning of recidivists, do you
not?
Of course I do. Danny told me 30 seconds ago.
So these are all of the people that I couldn't help. I've just never seen them
all gathered together before.
Um, can we, uh, talk about this in the other room? Uh, the smell of your
success stories are starting to make my eyes bleed.
Hi, yeah, look, Lori, it just didn't work out, but, uh, you know, I was just
trying to make you feel better so you'd be happier at work.
Okay, yeah, I get it, but actually, I think maybe you did help me, because
seeing all my failures gathered together out there made me realize something.
I need to work harder.
What are you talking about? I mean, nobody works harder than you. You're the
Michael Jordan of social work.
I mean, they'll probably name a sensible shoe after you.
I'm just, I'm not getting the satisfaction from the job that I need, and it's
because I'm not working hard enough.
I mean, you only get back as much as you put in, right? And I'm not putting in
enough.
Come on, Lori, nobody works harder than you. Uh, you know, I don't even
remember you ever taking a vacation.
I can work harder, and I'm gonna start right now. I'm gonna go out in that
living room,
and I'm gonna help some people, because it's not too late to change some lives.
Hey, somebody took my sandwich!
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, Taylor, sorry I'm late. Look, I have been trying to scrub
this horrible smell of me.
I don't know what happened.
Oh, my God, you reek. Look, I think it's those coveralls. Why don't you take
them off, and then we'll study.
Oh, you must work out a lot, huh?
Oh, no, just chin-ups. It's mostly genetics.
I hate him.
Danny, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to cancel our date Saturday night. Hank needs
me to study with him.
Oh, uh, that's okay.
Thank you for understanding.
Don't say it.
Don't worry. I'm sure your next girlfriend will be just as hot.
Hey, Lori, how you doing?
Fantastic. Since Monday, I have got 12 new people into rehab. I color-coded the
food stamp files,
and I found homes for three orphans, two of which were the ugliest babies you
will ever see.
So, Norm, I've been reading over the terms of your community service, and, uh,
it seems under the law,
I can define your duties any way I see fit. So tell me, would you be more
comfortable driving
me in a rickshaw or carrying me on your back?
Sir, sir, if you make Norm do that, I will report you to the union.
Well, how come he can pick on me? I can't pick on him!
Because you are the boss, and you're supposed to know better.
Hey, hey, thanks, Lori.
Yeah, well, that's the last time I'm doing that, because I've realized that you
are one
of the clients that I've got to be helping. You see, I can't be defending you
all the time.
I've got to be training you so you can be better at your job.
Oh, come on, Lori. We both know that's a fool's game.
Now, uh, my 11 o'clock is already waiting, so you're going to come with me,
okay?
And I've got six more cases before noon. That means we're going to have to
squeeze
45 minutes' worth of compassion into about 15. So let's go.
Hello, Jim. How are you doing?
Not so good. Woke up on my 10th wedding anniversary yesterday to find a note
from my
wife saying she'd left me forever.
Oh, Jim, that's terrible.
Yeah. So I called my dad, who's always been my main support in life,
only to find out that he's the one she left me for.
So I was in kind of a frenzied panic, and I ran down the stairs.
Actually, I tumbled down the stairs, breaking my leg in six places.
Listen, Lori, I do what I do. I'll wait till they leave to laugh.
It wouldn't have been so bad, except I landed on my beloved dog, Fido.
I have to excuse us, Jim. Don't mind Lori. She's more of a cat person, really.
No, I don't know what's the matter with me.
Look, I can't stay here any longer.
She's pushing herself too hard. She's really coming apart.
Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. Although, in all fairness, that last bit was very
funny.
Oh.
Maybe we should go in and talk to her.
No, no. I think we should just wait for her to come out. She said she wanted to
be alone.
You know who'd be the perfect person to go in there and talk to Lori? Lori.
No, we should just pretend it didn't happen at all. You know, that's, that's
what we did when
my grandmother got pregnant by the neighbor's boy.
Oh, look, Lori, you're her best friend. You should go in there.
Hey, hey, Laura. How you doing there?
Not so good.
Yeah, well, what do you think the problem is?
I don't know. I've, I've been helping more clients than ever, but instead of
feeling satisfied,
I just feel miserable. What does it take? What does it take to be the next Myrtle
Wilkinson?
Myrtle Wilkinson? You mean the famous social worker, Myrtle Wilkinson?
Yes. You know about her?
No, I was just making a joke. I didn't even think there was such a thing as a
famous social worker.
She's not famous, but she was my mentor. She's been a social worker for 40
years.
I guess she's got something that I just don't have.
Hey, hey, hey, listen. Laura, why don't we go meet this Myrtle Wilkinson?
We'll talk to her. Maybe she'll make you feel better, you know?
I can go with you. You would? Oh, no, I think that might help.
I really appreciate that. Oh, great, great. Yeah, it's funny, you know.
I wasn't even gonna come in here and talk to you. I was just gonna let you sit
in here, you know?
Oh, Norm, come on. You know, you and I can say anything to each other.
Yeah, that's right. We can say anything to each other.
Hey, uh, listen. What's it like going crazy?
There's no reason to do this, Artie. I'm sure Hank left hours ago.
Danny, it's midnight, and you've been getting a busy signal for six hours.
That means one of two things.
Either they're doing it and they took the phone off the hook,
or they're doing it and they knocked the phone off the hook.
Bella said they were just gonna study, and I trust her.
All right. Maybe you're right.
She might be different.
Hey! Look, man, if you can't get her back, at least you're making him take a
break.
Oh!
Vinny, what are you doing here?
Well, I, um...
Hey, Vinny.
What's he still doing here?
He's studying for his test.
Hank, could you give us a minute, please?
Okay, what is your problem?
I've been calling for six hours, or should I say sex hours?
I guess I should just say sex.
Look, I'm not an idiot.
I know what's going on here, and I don't have to stand for this.
I'm not gonna let you make a fool of me.
You're gonna miss me, honey!
You're gonna miss me, honey.
You're gonna miss me, honey.
Damn!
Uh, Danny?
This is Hank's wife, Anne, and their baby, Elizabeth.
Hank missed them so much that they came by to visit while we studied the civil
service website.
We better head out.
Thanks again, Taylor, for everything.
Bye, Danny.
So long, Hank.
I like him.
I can't believe you.
I'm sorry.
I am so sick of you being so insecure, Danny.
If you don't know by now that I love you, then you are the stupidest--
You love me?
Yes.
Now get out of my face.
Taylor, I love you, too.
Sell it walking, buddy.
I don't know if we should do this.
Oh, no, Laurie.
Seeing your old mentor is gonna do you a lot of good.
What if she's busy?
Oh, darn.
All right, I'm coming.
Laurie Freeman as I live and breathe.
Come on here.
Well, I tried to call Myrtle, but I think the phone's off the hook or something.
We're not interrupting anything, are we?
Oh, don't be silly.
I can do it after you leave.
Well, I'm Norm.
I'm sure Laurie's told you all about me.
The handsome bachelor?
No.
Oh, uh, the shiftless never-do-well?
Oh, Norm!
What can I do for you?
Well, it's just that, uh, I always used to get this sense of fulfillment with
the work,
and I'm not getting that anymore, Myrtle, and I know you've done the job for 40
years.
How do you stay so positive?
Well, I'm only human, dear, but I always try to look on the bright side.
Oh, Lord, God.
Look, you just have to concentrate on the little rewards.
You know, like a smiling face and a kind word.
And that's worked for you?
Right up till today.
Myrtle, I wish I knew where you got your unshakable optimism.
Yeah, I'll tell you where she got it.
From the, from the liquor store and the pharmacy.
What's going on?
Yeah, she's trying to kill herself.
We gotta phone the hospital.
What?
Oh, sure.
I just like the sweet taste of vodka.
Yeah, well, what about these pills?
Well, that's for my gout.
Yeah, well, what about the noose?
Well, that's a noose.
Hey, Myrtle, are you really trying to kill yourself?
Well, no, not right now, dear.
Right now, I'm talking to you.
Nora, 444-911.
Myrtle, I don't understand.
You were just telling me all about the little rewards that the job has.
Oh, you shouldn't listen to me.
I tell you, dear, I have enough barbiturates in me to kill a farm animal.
But you, you dedicated your whole life to the job,
and I thought that was enough to sustain you.
Well, the truth is, the job is all that I have, and it's just not enough to
keep a soul going.
But you have your husband and your children to give your life some joy.
No, I'm not married.
Oh, but you have the children.
No.
A pet, at least?
No.
Do you have a rope?
Hey, so what happened with Taylor last night?
For your information, nothing was going on, and it turned out to be the best
night of my life.
Why? What happened?
We finally said we love each other.
That's great!
So you guys going out tonight?
No, we're not speaking.
All right, I am out of here.
What are you talking about?
It's not even lunch yet.
Well, if I learned one thing from Myrtle, it's that I have got to get a life.
So, where are you going?
I have a date with Tom, my massage therapist.
I don't know what else he's got, but the hands work.
Well, Lori, what do you got under there?
What, are you showing off some merchandise?
No!
Come on, let us see what you look like under there.
We won't laugh.
Even if we do, we love you.
Come on.
I didn't know you had a girl under there, Lori.
Well, Norm, mommy's not here to protect you anymore.
Daddy's in a very bad mood.
Since I, uh, since I can define your duties however I wish, I've taken up a new
hobby.
Your job?
Clean my spittoon.
Oh, oh, sir, sir, you don't want to chew tobacco, sir.
You'll get cancer.
The loss of your dignity is going to be worth the loss of my lower jaw and
tongue.
Oh, oh, this is awful.
God, that's, um, how do baseball players eat that stuff?
Uh, they don't, sir.
Uh, you see, I, I couldn't bear the thought of you doing yourself harm,
so earlier I snuck into your office and I,
I replaced the chewing tobacco with, with plant fertilizer.
So long.
Good night.
Okay.
Take care.
All right.
Good night, everyone.
Bye.
Get home safely.
And great.
Yeah.
It's me.
Are you ready?
Come on in.
Oh, my God.
You like it?
This has been my fantasy for so long.
Wait, wait.
Are we gonna do a cheer first?
Let's see if I earn it.
No.
I'm not gonna do a cheer first.
I'm not gonna do a cheer first.
I'm not gonna do a cheer first.
I'm not gonna do a cheer first.
I'm not gonna do a cheer first.
I'm not gonna do a cheer first.
I'm not gonna do a cheer first.
I'm not gonna do a cheer first.

Episode 30   Laurie Loses it 2000 03 15

So, for our, uh, date on Saturday,
you may want to bring an overnight bag.
Oh, great. We're going on a trip?
Okay.
Hi, Artie. What are you doing here?
Uh, me and Norm are gonna make a long-distance call
to our dad. It's his birthday.
Yeah, we call him every year.
We make a big deal out of it.
Hey, we get all sappy on the phone.
It's kind of nice, you know.
Okay, it's ringing.
Hey, Dad, happy birthday!
Okay, bye.
Taylor?
Hank, I don't believe it.
What are you doing here?
Well, I just got a job down in maintenance,
but I'm trying to get a desk job.
I'm taking the civil service exam next week.
Oh, that is so great.
Yeah, yeah, it's really, really great.
Uh, Danny, this is Hank.
He went to my high school.
He was the quarterback when I was the cheerleader.
Oh, no kidding.
Yeah, I was a cheerleader, too, yeah.
Bottom of the pyramid.
Hey, I thought you were trying to date Taylor.
I'm not trying. I am dating her.
We're going out this Saturday.
Oh, that'll be great.
I thought you could grab some dinner, then go watch her have sex with that guy.
They're just old friends, and there's nothing to worry about.
Not yet. It's a matter of time. We're talking genetics here.
Millions of years of evolution dictate that they should be together.
Beautiful people go with beautiful people.
The rest of us have to pick from the drinks.
That's not always true.
Oh, yeah? Who'd your father end up with?
Hey, that's my mother.
Uh-oh.
The whole thing is unfair.
The only way we're going to have equality in this world is if guys like me and
you
get with women like Taylor.
That way, after the interbreeding, everyone will be like a six.
Well, Norm, I finally got you right where I want to.
What? I'm not on a mattress in the back of your van, sir.
Don't you, don't you try to squirm out of this one, Norm.
You purchased a handheld video game with office money.
Prove it.
I'm holding the receipt in my hand, and the video game is right here on your
desk.
Sir, I asked Norm to buy that for little Scott Ripley.
He's been in the hospital for three weeks.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Yeah, I didn't say it earlier, sir, because I didn't want to shame you.
But now that the cat's out of the bag, may I just say, uh, sheesh.
I'm gonna love that guy, huh?
You were supposed to give that to little Scott Ripley.
Ah, he can't use it. He's got no thumbs.
Hey, Cory, you got a letter from the Social Worker Awards.
I didn't know you were nominated for associate.
Oh, I don't even care. I get nominated every year,
and I never win anyway, so it's no big deal to me.
I didn't win.
Ah, I can tell you're upset there, Laura, you know.
You know what you always used to tell me when you were my social workers?
You gotta let it out. You know, you gotta let it out.
Here, you know, you should, you should just hit something.
Artie, come here.
Not gonna hit Artie.
Hey, nice skirt.
I'd be getting all hot if I didn't know you had old lady underwear on under
there.
See, Artie's good for that.
He's good for that.
I just wanted a little recognition.
You know, you think that after 15 years of working holidays and every weekend
helping people,
that would count for something.
Man, she's really taken it hard this year.
If there was some way we could make her feel appreciated, you know.
Hey, uh, hey, what if we had a party at my place, you know,
and we invited all the old clients of hers.
Hey, that's a great idea, yeah.
We could share how she's helped people by bringing together all her success
stories.
You can't come, Norm.
Too bad that you're not as smart as you thought you were in the first place.
Too bad that you had to get caught.
That's not like you to lose face.
So sad that you're not as smart as you thought you were in the first place.
Okay, everybody.
Thanks for coming.
Relax.
Have some food.
But remember...
Mine!
Surprise!
No, we're not Lori.
Lori's still parking the car.
Uh, who are these people?
Oh, these are all of Lori's success stories.
No, they're not.
They're all her failures.
No, they're not.
I checked in their files and they've all found God.
They're all, what do you call, recidivists.
Recidivism isn't a religion.
A recidivist is someone who's fallen back on their bad patterns.
That's obsessive-compulsive Gavin.
Lori had him almost cured, but he stopped taking his medication so he could
keep his nickname.
Look, Danny, you gotta help me get these people out, you know, before Lori
shows up.
Uh, uh, hey, listen, aren't you that guy that, uh, that lives with his mother?
And, uh, you gotta touch all the doorknobs before you leave the house?
Yeah, 12 times, otherwise something bad will happen.
Uh, hey, uh, you sure you touched him 12 times today?
I think so.
Well, 11, 12, what's the difference?
I just didn't want your mother to die.
Okay, everybody, listen up. Listen, I made a little mistake there.
I thought you were normal people.
But anyways, I apologize for any inconvenience, but, uh, you know, like society,
I have no further use for you.
So let's go.
It's Lori.
Huh?
All right, sit down.
Listen, everybody, uh, uh, uh, whatever freaky thing it is that you do, just
don't do it for the next 20 minutes, all right?
Surprise!
What is this?
Well, this is, uh, a little, uh, party for you to show how much you're
appreciated.
I've gathered together all the recidivists, as I refer to them, on purpose, so,
so that you could see that you've helped people that you don't even know you've
helped, Lori.
I didn't help these people. You don't know the meaning of recidivists, do you
not?
Of course I do. Danny told me 30 seconds ago.
So these are all of the people that I couldn't help. I've just never seen them
all gathered together before.
Um, can we, uh, talk about this in the other room? Uh, the smell of your
success stories are starting to make my eyes bleed.
Hi, yeah, look, Lori, it just didn't work out, but, uh, you know, I was just
trying to make you feel better so you'd be happier at work.
Okay, yeah, I get it, but actually, I think maybe you did help me, because
seeing all my failures gathered together out there made me realize something.
I need to work harder.
What are you talking about? I mean, nobody works harder than you. You're the
Michael Jordan of social work.
I mean, they'll probably name a sensible shoe after you.
I'm just, I'm not getting the satisfaction from the job that I need, and it's
because I'm not working hard enough.
I mean, you only get back as much as you put in, right? And I'm not putting in
enough.
Come on, Lori, nobody works harder than you. Uh, you know, I don't even
remember you ever taking a vacation.
I can work harder, and I'm gonna start right now. I'm gonna go out in that
living room,
and I'm gonna help some people, because it's not too late to change some lives.
Hey, somebody took my sandwich!
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, Taylor, sorry I'm late. Look, I have been trying to scrub
this horrible smell of me.
I don't know what happened.
Oh, my God, you reek. Look, I think it's those coveralls. Why don't you take
them off, and then we'll study.
Oh, you must work out a lot, huh?
Oh, no, just chin-ups. It's mostly genetics.
I hate him.
Danny, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to cancel our date Saturday night. Hank needs
me to study with him.
Oh, uh, that's okay.
Thank you for understanding.
Don't say it.
Don't worry. I'm sure your next girlfriend will be just as hot.
Hey, Lori, how you doing?
Fantastic. Since Monday, I have got 12 new people into rehab. I color-coded the
food stamp files,
and I found homes for three orphans, two of which were the ugliest babies you
will ever see.
So, Norm, I've been reading over the terms of your community service, and, uh,
it seems under the law,
I can define your duties any way I see fit. So tell me, would you be more
comfortable driving
me in a rickshaw or carrying me on your back?
Sir, sir, if you make Norm do that, I will report you to the union.
Well, how come he can pick on me? I can't pick on him!
Because you are the boss, and you're supposed to know better.
Hey, hey, thanks, Lori.
Yeah, well, that's the last time I'm doing that, because I've realized that you
are one
of the clients that I've got to be helping. You see, I can't be defending you
all the time.
I've got to be training you so you can be better at your job.
Oh, come on, Lori. We both know that's a fool's game.
Now, uh, my 11 o'clock is already waiting, so you're going to come with me,
okay?
And I've got six more cases before noon. That means we're going to have to
squeeze
45 minutes' worth of compassion into about 15. So let's go.
Hello, Jim. How are you doing?
Not so good. Woke up on my 10th wedding anniversary yesterday to find a note
from my
wife saying she'd left me forever.
Oh, Jim, that's terrible.
Yeah. So I called my dad, who's always been my main support in life,
only to find out that he's the one she left me for.
So I was in kind of a frenzied panic, and I ran down the stairs.
Actually, I tumbled down the stairs, breaking my leg in six places.
Listen, Lori, I do what I do. I'll wait till they leave to laugh.
It wouldn't have been so bad, except I landed on my beloved dog, Fido.
I have to excuse us, Jim. Don't mind Lori. She's more of a cat person, really.
No, I don't know what's the matter with me.
Look, I can't stay here any longer.
She's pushing herself too hard. She's really coming apart.
Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. Although, in all fairness, that last bit was very
funny.
Oh.
Maybe we should go in and talk to her.
No, no. I think we should just wait for her to come out. She said she wanted to
be alone.
You know who'd be the perfect person to go in there and talk to Lori? Lori.
No, we should just pretend it didn't happen at all. You know, that's, that's
what we did when
my grandmother got pregnant by the neighbor's boy.
Oh, look, Lori, you're her best friend. You should go in there.
Hey, hey, Laura. How you doing there?
Not so good.
Yeah, well, what do you think the problem is?
I don't know. I've, I've been helping more clients than ever, but instead of
feeling satisfied,
I just feel miserable. What does it take? What does it take to be the next Myrtle
Wilkinson?
Myrtle Wilkinson? You mean the famous social worker, Myrtle Wilkinson?
Yes. You know about her?
No, I was just making a joke. I didn't even think there was such a thing as a
famous social worker.
She's not famous, but she was my mentor. She's been a social worker for 40
years.
I guess she's got something that I just don't have.
Hey, hey, hey, listen. Laura, why don't we go meet this Myrtle Wilkinson?
We'll talk to her. Maybe she'll make you feel better, you know?
I can go with you. You would? Oh, no, I think that might help.
I really appreciate that. Oh, great, great. Yeah, it's funny, you know.
I wasn't even gonna come in here and talk to you. I was just gonna let you sit
in here, you know?
Oh, Norm, come on. You know, you and I can say anything to each other.
Yeah, that's right. We can say anything to each other.
Hey, uh, listen. What's it like going crazy?
There's no reason to do this, Artie. I'm sure Hank left hours ago.
Danny, it's midnight, and you've been getting a busy signal for six hours.
That means one of two things.
Either they're doing it and they took the phone off the hook,
or they're doing it and they knocked the phone off the hook.
Bella said they were just gonna study, and I trust her.
All right. Maybe you're right.
She might be different.
Hey! Look, man, if you can't get her back, at least you're making him take a
break.
Oh!
Vinny, what are you doing here?
Well, I, um...
Hey, Vinny.
What's he still doing here?
He's studying for his test.
Hank, could you give us a minute, please?
Okay, what is your problem?
I've been calling for six hours, or should I say sex hours?
I guess I should just say sex.
Look, I'm not an idiot.
I know what's going on here, and I don't have to stand for this.
I'm not gonna let you make a fool of me.
You're gonna miss me, honey!
You're gonna miss me, honey.
You're gonna miss me, honey.
Damn!
Uh, Danny?
This is Hank's wife, Anne, and