Name: Episode 31 Norm vs The Sacrifice 2000 10 03
Uploaded: 2022-06-07T05:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Episode 31 Norm vs The Sacrifice 2000 10 03' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-07. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Episode 31 Norm vs The Sacrifice 2000 10 03' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-07. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

All right, it's third goal. Let's go, guys. We're gonna do it up.
All right. Hey, hey, Taylor, it's excellent you came by. You can even up the
team.
What's going on?
Norm's been taking some of our homeless clients outside at lunch to play
football,
but since it's been raining the past couple of days, we're gonna play inside.
But I'm wearing heels.
Oh, yeah, so is Bob. You can cover him.
All right, here's the play.
Now, George, you run over to the doors.
Billy, you go to the water cooler, and then you distract everybody by spouting
gibberish
like you do in the streets.
Danny, what I want you to do is, when you tackle Artie, go from the knees.
You'll go down like a ton of fat guy.
Okay, but won't I be under that ton of fat guy?
Let's play. Come on.
All right. One, two, three, four, yeah.
Hey, what in the name of me?
Are you all right?
I'm sorry, Mr. Dunby, but I was afraid if I didn't slam into you, I would've
run into the wall.
Did I told you no football in this office?
Uh, but, but, sir, we have a big game this Saturday against the National
Organization of Women,
and those guys have a lot of anger.
Yeah, yeah, our guys are mostly just mental.
Look, look, this is a place of business.
It's not one of those football playing places.
Give me the ball.
There you go, sir.
Now, everybody, back to work.
Hey, you heard the man.
All right, let's get back to work, huh?
Come on, what are we doing here, huh?
All right, no huddle, let's go.
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Who threw that ball?
Yeah.
You take the heat for this, and I'll buy you shoes.
Too bad that you're not as smart
As you thought you were in the first place
Too bad that you had to get caught
That's not like you to lose face
So sad that you're not as smart
As you thought you were in the first place
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
I feel like you're watching a soap opera
Lori's new boyfriend is on it
I want to get a look at him
Before he comes by to pick her up for lunch
I don't know how you women watch these things
I mean, the storylines are so preposterous
Oh, hey, Danny
You're a crack-addicted hermaphrodite client
Finally found her biological mother
In a Spanish prison
She needs to reschedule
Okay, well, I'm gonna go meet my lunch date
Down in the lobby
Oh, why don't you let him come up?
Don't you want us to meet him?
No, he's a wonderful guy
It's just, uh, there's this thing about him
Lori
I could not wait a moment longer
When you're not in my arms
My heart aches with longing
Oh, well
Uh, hi, I'm Danny
What a great pleasure
Oh, you put me in mind of a young James Coco
Goodness, I hope I'm not blushing
Hello?
I'm Taylor
Your hair
What a magnificent red
It's like a flame that burns too brightly
To sustain its fiery glow
Do me, do me
This must be Norm
Yes
You have the look of the rogue about you
Tell me
Can I trust you with an irresistible beauty
Such as this?
Oh
All right, the question is
Can I trust you?
Now, before you go out with my friend
You have to answer a very important question
Can you lend me a hundred dollars?
You're exactly the imp that Lori described
But seriously, can you lend me a hundred dollars?
Oh, damn it
Oh, Lori, I'm sorry
I can't have lunch with you
I've gotten the tuna commercial
Oh
All right
Well, I'm really happy for you, Jack
So, um, I don't know
Why don't I just call you tonight
After I get off work, okay?
So hard for me to say goodbye to you
You know, my heart is just random
Bye-bye
Oh, cruel face
My coffee is cold
Right, yes
He's a little dramatic
But he's so passionate
He's like a living, breathing romance novel
Oh, yeah, romance novel
Hey, do you highlight his dirty parts, or?
Oh, Mr. Hemby
How did the divorce hearing go?
Was the settlement what you were expecting?
Oh, she took everything
She was greedy
She was horrible
She humiliated me
When it was completely unnecessary
I fell in love with her all over it
Norm
What is your dog doing at work?
Sir, remember when you told us
To keep an eye out
For a level one clerical assistant?
Don't
Don't
Don't tell you hired wiener dog
Well
No, sir
Technically, you did
When you signed this authorization form
You remember you encouraged us
To find someone with a disability
The applicant has no thumbs
Has three-inch legs
And speaks absolutely no English
This is atrocious
He's fired
He's fired
Get rid of him
Get rid of him now
Come on, sir
You can't fire wiener
There, he's a good man
Watch me
Well, sir
Actually, sir
As crazy as it sounds
You really can't fire him
If you terminate a worker with no notice
The union automatically files a grievance
I can't fire a dog
This is great
For our new drug counselor
Can we get my hermit crab?
I have a goldfish
I've been trying to get into government for years
Stop!
Stop!
All of you!
No, well, I'm afraid
It says right here, sir
Before you fire anyone
You have to state the specific problem
And then give them two weeks
To improve their performance
Hello, wiener dog
I'm sorry to say
That I'm unhappy
With your job performance
You've got two weeks
To improve your typing skills
And learn to talk
Denby!
Oh, hello, Mr. Benedetto
I didn't know you'd be stopping by
What brings you down
From your lofty perch
In the administration
Hey, look at this guy
Hey, hey, hey
How you doing there, little fella?
Huh?
Hey, I hear you hired somebody
With no thumbs
In three-inch legs
I'm glad we're finally hiring
A disabled around here
So, uh, where is this courageous mess?
Well, uh, right now
You're, uh, sexually harassing him, sir
A dog?
You dumb huckleberry
Don't tell me you hired a dog
Well, I, I, I, I
I didn't know he was a dog at the time
Oh, that's funny
I picked up on it right away
It was Norm's fault, sir
He, he always makes, makes me
Always makes me do a lot of stupid things
It's your office, Denby
And it's out of control
You're weak, you're soft
And you're a poor administrator
And if you don't get your act together soon
You're gonna be looking for a new job
All right, all right
Everybody, listen up
From now on, this place is gonna be run by the book
We're gonna be working late nights
We're gonna be working weekends
Until we get this place running
Uh, exactly like a fucking office should be
Can you see it?
Uh, yeah, uh, excuse me, sir
I have to say, I, I think you're going too far
Look, shut up, look
I'm tired of being a truck
The crap that goes on around here
I'm gonna stop passing some of the pain around
In my office
Now!
I don't believe you're allowed to examine me without a nurse present, sir
I'm gonna get some respect, damn it, from you and from those people out there
And you're gonna help me
You set the tone out there, you know, Lord knows why
They follow you
Well, I don't want to tell anybody my secret, sir
But, uh, my grandfather taught me to put a little cinnamon behind my ear
Shut up!
Look, this is how it's gonna work
We're not gonna have any more, any more jokes
No more disruptive behavior
You're gonna respect me
So they'll respect me
Well, sir, I can't really take you seriously
Unless you take off that ridiculous face you got
You're gonna just keep mouthing off, aren't you?
Well, fine, I'll tell you what
I'm gonna punish them
I'm gonna punish every one of those people out there
They're gonna work weekends
They're gonna work holidays
I'm gonna give demotions
I'll, I'll wreck careers
You don't believe me, do you?
No, I don't
Uh, all right, all right
Uh, Johnson?
Yes, sir?
Uh, hello, Johnson
You're fired
Why? What did I do?
You're a terrible employee, Johnson
I'm the boss
I decide things like that
Get out!
But I didn't do anything
That was totally unfair, sir
Johnson does a lot of my work
How could you do that to him?
Let me see
Uh, what do we got here?
We have Laurie Freeman
Laurie has been waiting five years for a promotion
Oh, come on now, sir
You can't say anything bad about Laurie
Laurie's the best
Oh, not according to the file
According to this
She's insubordinate
She is, uh, unmotivated
All right, sir
All right, all right, all right
All right, what?
Say it
I want to hear you say it
All right, we have a deal
All right
I won't embarrass you in front of the office
And I'll pretend to respect you
And everything, you know
All right
Now, if you mention a word of this
To anyone out there
It's no
The deal is off
And I'm going to make
Every one of their lives miserable
Sorry, but I have that report
You went right away
Well, that's all right
Come in
Thank you
Come in
You know, Norm
I was just ironing out
A few of our difficulties
And now that we're finished
I thought maybe
I thought maybe I'd redecorate a little
I was just trying to think of a place
Where I could put this
You have any ideas, Norm?
Where I could put this?
I could stick it anywhere you see fit
I'll cram it anywhere you think is best
Your ass
I think it would look good on the shelf
Especially with a nice plant
To counterbalance it, maybe
You're so cute
Yeah, I know
And I really like Jack when we're alone
But when he gets all dramatic and public
I just want to hide
Well, you know
He's talked that way on the show for so long
He probably doesn't even realize he's doing it
Yeah, it's getting embarrassing
Every time we go back to my place
The crazy homeless guy who lives in my stairwell
Shouts, you turn me down for that?
Hey, Norm
You know, in order to get some respect
From everybody around here
I thought it would be a very good idea
If I could start this morning
With a compliment from you
All right, sir
Well, let me think
Well, compared to Hitler, sir
Surprise!
Happy birthday, Taylor!
Thank you
What is this?
Oh, it's Taylor's birthday, sir
She's a wonderful girl
That brightens every life she touches
You know
But, but today
She's my ticket to cake
This is a place of business
There'll be no more birthdays
We have work to do here
Oh, now, sir
This is crazy
It's just a little break in the day
No one agrees with you on this
Really?
No one?
Look, if everybody
In this office
Wants to have a party
Then you can eat your cake
Until you vomit
So let's see
Everybody here
In favor of a party
Say aye
Aye
Everybody opposed
Say nay
Nay
Nay
Norm!
Good, settled
Go on
Put the cake away
And have your damn party
In your own damn time
Oh, uh
Happy birthday
Taylor
Since when
Have you ever
Agreed with Denby?
Well, I mean
Maybe he's right
You know
Maybe we
We screw around too much
You know
I mean
I mean
We should be doing
Important work here
You know
With all those
You know
Gimps and wackos
Running around here
This is a bunch of crap
What's really going on?
Well
You want to know the truth?
I'm tired of fighting this guy
Alright?
Now
It's time that I grow up
So you guys can do
Whatever you want
But I for one
I'm going to make my life
A little easier
Alright, fine
It's lunch time
I guess we can have cake
Downstairs
Taylor
Danny
And anybody else
In the office
Except for Norm
Fine
If you feel that way
Then you feel that way
That's the way you feel
Ah, there you go
I knew my best friend
Wouldn't forsake me
Excellent
Excellent
You know the hell
With the rest of them, huh?
All a man needs
Is one friend
I just forgot my jacket
Right
Right
And that friend
Is this dirty character here
He's my friend
To a love
That knows no
Mortal bounds
Sure
You know what, Jack?
Could
Would you mind
If we sat on the couch
And just talked
Just for a second?
You only have to say it
And it will be done
Jack
Laurie
Right
I think you know
That I've been having
A really good time with you
Hmm
The days have spun
Into weeks
Of blissful passion
Oh, thank you
And I just
You are so romantic
And so attractive
And so nice
But I just
I feel like I have to say, Jack
That you seem to be
Putting up a front
You confuse me
But then
Woman is a riddle
Yes
Well, it's kind of like that
That's sort of what
I'm talking about
I just have to say
That you seem
Kind of fake
To me
No, well, I suppose
At times I do
Put on a
A bit
Of a facade
And why do you think
That is?
I'm not a very confident person
Well, that's okay
That's okay, Jack
You see, I think
That's wonderful
That you could share that
With me
And I feel closer to you
Oh, I hurt so bad
You're really going there
Aren't you?
Well, I
Hey, I know what
Now that we know
What's inside
Let's say
We put the lid back on
We'll seal it up
Really, really tight
I don't know how
Denby broke you
But I got something here
That you are not
Going to be able to resist
Denby's ex-wife
Gave me this
Oh
Oh, my God
I know
Is it the most horrible
Thing you've ever seen?
Let's put it up
In the men's room
No, that would be
Disrespectful to Mr. Denby
Look, frankly
I hope that at my age
I can have a body
Like, you know
Or at least a face
Like, look
Just put it away, would you?
Uh, uh, everybody
This is going to stop
We're not going to have
Any more eating
In the office
Mr. Denby, don't you think
That's a little extreme?
Extreme?
Am I being extreme?
Uh, I don't know
Maybe you're right
What do you think, Norm?
You always chime in
When I get off the track
Am I being too extreme?
No, sir
You're not being too extreme
Okay
If you don't have the guts
To take them on anymore
Then I guess I'll have to be
The new Norm Henderson
Mr. Denby
What?
We eat in the office
Because we don't have time
To take a proper lunch
You bald chinless bastard
Excuse me
You know, you're just pathetic
When you try to stand up
To me, Sanchez
You're an insignificant
Inconsequential
Insecure little man
And you'll never amount
To anything
Hey, cut it out
Norm, if I were you
I'd be careful
Yes, sir
Yes, sir
I believe I should be careful
Like I was careful this morning
When, uh, that paperweight fell
And I was very careful
Not to say
You dropped your prostate, sir
I believe you should pick it up
What?
Also, also, sir
I was very careful
Yesterday
When I saw you eating
That prune
I was very careful
Not to point out
The coincidence of you
Eating a shriveled up
Old fruit
I'm just warming up, sir
You want me to be
More careful here?
All right
The deal is off
It's off
No more, Mr. Nice Guy
You've made an enemy
Out of the wrong
The wrong
Man
Have you got the key?
You haven't fought
Till you fought Max Denby
Did, uh, didn't you say
The deal is off?
What, what deal?
Uh, it was nothing really
It's just, uh
You know, I agreed to go easy on him
In return for him
Being nice to you guys
Actually, it was a huge sacrifice
You know, it was not unlike
That, uh, that guy
Jesus Christ Almighty
But anyway
You guys just get me
A lunch sometime
And we'll be fine
So, Mike
That's why you've been
Acting weird
This whole time
I can't believe
You did that for us
So now what happened
Now that you broke the deal?
That's the crazily funny part
Is that
Now that I broke the deal
He's probably gonna fire
All you guys
I'll go fix him
All right, listen, Denby
If, uh, you're trying to punish my friends
This could very well end up
As a personal ad
In prison rape magazines
All right, all right
You, I'm not gonna
I'll leave your friends alone
You win
My wife wins
The boss wins
Everybody wins
Except Denby
You know, Denby is gay
Like for loser
I assume it is
I don't really know for sure
Yeah, you big crybaby
Come on
Enough with the long face
You know
You don't really have the chin
To support it
I'll just
I knew I shouldn't know
I couldn't play the tough guy
I don't have it in me
I, I, I
I can deal with my ex-wife
Who for the purposes
Of this conversation
I'll just call
Bitch
This job is all I have
Norma
Now my boss
Has it in for me
Yeah, well
Well, don't take it
Out on the people below you, sir
Do what I do
Take it out
On the people above you
I, I, I, I don't know how
I, I, I don't have it in me
I, I, I can't
Oh, I, I can't, sir
Dial your boss's home number
Remember
Screw a man's boss over
He's happy for a day
Teach a man to screw his boss over
And he's happy for a lifetime
Hello
Is this Mrs. Di Benedetto?
Yeah
Would you tell your husband
That me and his buddies
Will meet him at the
Whorehouse at six o'clock
Oh, no, no, no
Don't worry, ma'am
Now, we're not gonna have sex
With prostitutes
We're just gonna pay them
To watch us
Darling
I came as soon as you called
It's over, Jack
Dammit, I can't see you anymore
You tell me it's not true
Tell me
I'm afraid it is
I loved you once
But something inside has died
Someone else, isn't there?
Yes, there's someone else
And that someone is me
I'm living my life for me now
I have been such a fool
We've all been fools, Jack
Fools to think that love could last
So please, go
All right, I'll go

Episode 31   Norm vs  The Sacrifice 2000 10 03

All right, it's third goal. Let's go, guys. We're gonna do it up.
All right. Hey, hey, Taylor, it's excellent you came by. You can even up the
team.
What's going on?
Norm's been taking some of our homeless clients outside at lunch to play
football,
but since it's been raining the past couple of days, we're gonna play inside.
But I'm wearing heels.
Oh, yeah, so is Bob. You can cover him.
All right, here's the play.
Now, George, you run over to the doors.
Billy, you go to the water cooler, and then you distract everybody by spouting
gibberish
like you do in the streets.
Danny, what I want you to do is, when you tackle Artie, go from the knees.
You'll go down like a ton of fat guy.
Okay, but won't I be under that ton of fat guy?
Let's play. Come on.
All right. One, two, three, four, yeah.
Hey, what in the name of me?
Are you all right?
I'm sorry, Mr. Dunby, but I was afraid if I didn't slam into you, I would've
run into the wall.
Did I told you no football in this office?
Uh, but, but, sir, we have a big game this Saturday against the National
Organization of Women,
and those guys have a lot of anger.
Yeah, yeah, our guys are mostly just mental.
Look, look, this is a place of business.
It's not one of those football playing places.
Give me the ball.
There you go, sir.
Now, everybody, back to work.
Hey, you heard the man.
All right, let's get back to work, huh?
Come on, what are we doing here, huh?
All right, no huddle, let's go.
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Who threw that ball?
Yeah.
You take the heat for this, and I'll buy you shoes.
Too bad that you're not as smart
As you thought you were in the first place
Too bad that you had to get caught
That's not like you to lose face
So sad that you're not as smart
As you thought you were in the first place
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
I feel like you're watching a soap opera
Lori's new boyfriend is on it
I want to get a look at him
Before he comes by to pick her up for lunch
I don't know how you women watch these things
I mean, the storylines are so preposterous
Oh, hey, Danny
You're a crack-addicted hermaphrodite client
Finally found her biological mother
In a Spanish prison
She needs to reschedule
Okay, well, I'm gonna go meet my lunch date
Down in the lobby
Oh, why don't you let him come up?
Don't you want us to meet him?
No, he's a wonderful guy
It's just, uh, there's this thing about him
Lori
I could not wait a moment longer
When you're not in my arms
My heart aches with longing
Oh, well
Uh, hi, I'm Danny
What a great pleasure
Oh, you put me in mind of a young James Coco
Goodness, I hope I'm not blushing
Hello?
I'm Taylor
Your hair
What a magnificent red
It's like a flame that burns too brightly
To sustain its fiery glow
Do me, do me
This must be Norm
Yes
You have the look of the rogue about you
Tell me
Can I trust you with an irresistible beauty
Such as this?
Oh
All right, the question is
Can I trust you?
Now, before you go out with my friend
You have to answer a very important question
Can you lend me a hundred dollars?
You're exactly the imp that Lori described
But seriously, can you lend me a hundred dollars?
Oh, damn it
Oh, Lori, I'm sorry
I can't have lunch with you
I've gotten the tuna commercial
Oh
All right
Well, I'm really happy for you, Jack
So, um, I don't know
Why don't I just call you tonight
After I get off work, okay?
So hard for me to say goodbye to you
You know, my heart is just random
Bye-bye
Oh, cruel face
My coffee is cold
Right, yes
He's a little dramatic
But he's so passionate
He's like a living, breathing romance novel
Oh, yeah, romance novel
Hey, do you highlight his dirty parts, or?
Oh, Mr. Hemby
How did the divorce hearing go?
Was the settlement what you were expecting?
Oh, she took everything
She was greedy
She was horrible
She humiliated me
When it was completely unnecessary
I fell in love with her all over it
Norm
What is your dog doing at work?
Sir, remember when you told us
To keep an eye out
For a level one clerical assistant?
Don't
Don't
Don't tell you hired wiener dog
Well
No, sir
Technically, you did
When you signed this authorization form
You remember you encouraged us
To find someone with a disability
The applicant has no thumbs
Has three-inch legs
And speaks absolutely no English
This is atrocious
He's fired
He's fired
Get rid of him
Get rid of him now
Come on, sir
You can't fire wiener
There, he's a good man
Watch me
Well, sir
Actually, sir
As crazy as it sounds
You really can't fire him
If you terminate a worker with no notice
The union automatically files a grievance
I can't fire a dog
This is great
For our new drug counselor
Can we get my hermit crab?
I have a goldfish
I've been trying to get into government for years
Stop!
Stop!
All of you!
No, well, I'm afraid
It says right here, sir
Before you fire anyone
You have to state the specific problem
And then give them two weeks
To improve their performance
Hello, wiener dog
I'm sorry to say
That I'm unhappy
With your job performance
You've got two weeks
To improve your typing skills
And learn to talk
Denby!
Oh, hello, Mr. Benedetto
I didn't know you'd be stopping by
What brings you down
From your lofty perch
In the administration
Hey, look at this guy
Hey, hey, hey
How you doing there, little fella?
Huh?
Hey, I hear you hired somebody
With no thumbs
In three-inch legs
I'm glad we're finally hiring
A disabled around here
So, uh, where is this courageous mess?
Well, uh, right now
You're, uh, sexually harassing him, sir
A dog?
You dumb huckleberry
Don't tell me you hired a dog
Well, I, I, I, I
I didn't know he was a dog at the time
Oh, that's funny
I picked up on it right away
It was Norm's fault, sir
He, he always makes, makes me
Always makes me do a lot of stupid things
It's your office, Denby
And it's out of control
You're weak, you're soft
And you're a poor administrator
And if you don't get your act together soon
You're gonna be looking for a new job
All right, all right
Everybody, listen up
From now on, this place is gonna be run by the book
We're gonna be working late nights
We're gonna be working weekends
Until we get this place running
Uh, exactly like a fucking office should be
Can you see it?
Uh, yeah, uh, excuse me, sir
I have to say, I, I think you're going too far
Look, shut up, look
I'm tired of being a truck
The crap that goes on around here
I'm gonna stop passing some of the pain around
In my office
Now!
I don't believe you're allowed to examine me without a nurse present, sir
I'm gonna get some respect, damn it, from you and from those people out there
And you're gonna help me
You set the tone out there, you know, Lord knows why
They follow you
Well, I don't want to tell anybody my secret, sir
But, uh, my grandfather taught me to put a little cinnamon behind my ear
Shut up!
Look, this is how it's gonna work
We're not gonna have any more, any more jokes
No more disruptive behavior
You're gonna respect me
So they'll respect me
Well, sir, I can't really take you seriously
Unless you take off that ridiculous face you got
You're gonna just keep mouthing off, aren't you?
Well, fine, I'll tell you what
I'm gonna punish them
I'm gonna punish every one of those people out there
They're gonna work weekends
They're gonna work holidays
I'm gonna give demotions
I'll, I'll wreck careers
You don't believe me, do you?
No, I don't
Uh, all right, all right
Uh, Johnson?
Yes, sir?
Uh, hello, Johnson
You're fired
Why? What did I do?
You're a terrible employee, Johnson
I'm the boss
I decide things like that
Get out!
But I didn't do anything
That was totally unfair, sir
Johnson does a lot of my work
How could you do that to him?
Let me see
Uh, what do we got here?
We have Laurie Freeman
Laurie has been waiting five years for a promotion
Oh, come on now, sir
You can't say anything bad about Laurie
Laurie's the best
Oh, not according to the file
According to this
She's insubordinate
She is, uh, unmotivated
All right, sir
All right, all right, all right
All right, what?
Say it
I want to hear you say it
All right, we have a deal
All right
I won't embarrass you in front of the office
And I'll pretend to respect you
And everything, you know
All right
Now, if you mention a word of this
To anyone out there
It's no
The deal is off
And I'm going to make
Every one of their lives miserable
Sorry, but I have that report
You went right away
Well, that's all right
Come in
Thank you
Come in
You know, Norm
I was just ironing out
A few of our difficulties
And now that we're finished
I thought maybe
I thought maybe I'd redecorate a little
I was just trying to think of a place
Where I could put this
You have any ideas, Norm?
Where I could put this?
I could stick it anywhere you see fit
I'll cram it anywhere you think is best
Your ass
I think it would look good on the shelf
Especially with a nice plant
To counterbalance it, maybe
You're so cute
Yeah, I know
And I really like Jack when we're alone
But when he gets all dramatic and public
I just want to hide
Well, you know
He's talked that way on the show for so long
He probably doesn't even realize he's doing it
Yeah, it's getting embarrassing
Every time we go back to my place
The crazy homeless guy who lives in my stairwell
Shouts, you turn me down for that?
Hey, Norm
You know, in order to get some respect
From everybody around here
I thought it would be a very good idea
If I could start this morning
With a compliment from you
All right, sir
Well, let me think
Well, compared to Hitler, sir
Surprise!
Happy birthday, Taylor!
Thank you
What is this?
Oh, it's Taylor's birthday, sir
She's a wonderful girl
That brightens every life she touches
You know
But, but today
She's my ticket to cake
This is a place of business
There'll be no more birthdays
We have work to do here
Oh, now, sir
This is crazy
It's just a little break in the day
No one agrees with you on this
Really?
No one?
Look, if everybody
In this office
Wants to have a party
Then you can eat your cake
Until you vomit
So let's see
Everybody here
In favor of a party
Say aye
Aye
Everybody opposed
Say nay
Nay
Nay
Norm!
Good, settled
Go on
Put the cake away
And have your damn party
In your own damn time
Oh, uh
Happy birthday
Taylor
Since when
Have you ever
Agreed with Denby?
Well, I mean
Maybe he's right
You know
Maybe we
We screw around too much
You know
I mean
I mean
We should be doing
Important work here
You know
With all those
You know
Gimps and wackos
Running around here
This is a bunch of crap
What's really going on?
Well
You want to know the truth?
I'm tired of fighting this guy
Alright?
Now
It's time that I grow up
So you guys can do
Whatever you want
But I for one
I'm going to make my life
A little easier
Alright, fine
It's lunch time
I guess we can have cake
Downstairs
Taylor
Danny
And anybody else
In the office
Except for Norm
Fine
If you feel that way
Then you feel that way
That's the way you feel
Ah, there you go
I knew my best friend
Wouldn't forsake me
Excellent
Excellent
You know the hell
With the rest of them, huh?
All a man needs
Is one friend
I just forgot my jacket
Right
Right
And that friend
Is this dirty character here
He's my friend
To a love
That knows no
Mortal bounds
Sure
You know what, Jack?
Could
Would you mind
If we sat on the couch
And just talked
Just for a second?
You only have to say it
And it will be done
Jack
Laurie
Right
I think you know
That I've been having
A really good time with you
Hmm
The days have spun
Into weeks
Of blissful passion
Oh, thank you
And I just
You are so romantic
And so attractive
And so nice
But I just
I feel like I have to say, Jack
That you seem to be
Putting up a front
You confuse me
But then
Woman is a riddle
Yes
Well, it's kind of like that
That's sort of what
I'm talking about
I just have to say
That you seem
Kind of fake
To me
No, well, I suppose
At times I do
Put on a
A bit
Of a facade
And why do you think
That is?
I'm not a very confident person
Well, that's okay
That's okay, Jack
You see, I think
That's wonderful
That you could share that
With me
And I feel closer to you
Oh, I hurt so