Name: Episode 41 Norm vs Schoolin 2000 12 15
Uploaded: 2022-06-17T05:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Episode 41 Norm vs Schoolin 2000 12 15' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-17. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Episode 41 Norm vs Schoolin 2000 12 15' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-17. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

All right, well, uh, I'm glad we finally found a family
that's, uh, considering adopting Billy.
Well, we're not sure why, but we think Billy might be
the perfect fit for our family.
I couldn't agree with you more. Donut?
No, thanks. We brought our own.
Now, Billy, do you have any questions for us?
Uh, yeah, yeah, I do.
Um, how would you react if I wanted to bring a girl home
and, uh, let her stay in my room?
Well, uh, we don't mind if you have sex,
but as long as you have it responsibly.
All right.
What if it turns out that, uh, I paid for this woman?
And, uh, yeah, well, and that I paid for her with your credit card.
Well, then you will be reimbursing us, young man.
Well, well, I'm glad.
I think we've found a family perfect for our Billy.
Also, uh, I'd like to come and live with you.
Well, this has been very helpful.
It's been very nice to meet you, Billy.
It was great. Can we talk to you for a minute, Norm?
Oh, sure. I'll walk you out.
Well, he seems like a fine boy.
Oh, yeah. I guess the only thing left to do
is to meet his previous foster parents.
Oh, uh, no, I'm afraid that's impossible.
Oh, dear.
Well, we feel very strongly about that.
We had a bad experience with an adoption once.
Yeah, if this isn't possible, uh,
well, we won't be able to go through it.
Oh, uh, no, no.
When I said impossible, I meant, I meant, uh, the opposite.
Well, great. Uh, we'll wait for your call.
Great.
Uh, honey, do you want to go down the elevator first?
Oh.
He is such a gentleman.
Norm, you can't introduce the Wootens
to Billy's last foster parents.
It was a disaster.
I know, I know.
The mother just wrote that book,
Never Adopt Billy.
Oh, that's not fair.
Billy's so much better now.
Yeah.
I'd be his foster parent,
except everybody already thinks I'm gay.
Wait, wait.
The Wootens never saw Danny and Shelly.
So what if they pretend to be Billy's foster parents?
Wait a second.
We, what if we get caught?
This has got to be against all kinds of rules.
We could get fired.
Look, look, you're not gonna get fired, all right?
But what if we are?
Look, I'm telling you,
with all the confidence at my command,
you will not be fired.
Norm, we could be fired.
Okay, so you get fired.
Too bad that you're not as smart
As you thought you were in the first place
Too bad that you had to get caught
That's not like you to lose face
So sad that you're not as smart
As you thought you were in the first place
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
I know you don't really want to be here, Norm,
but I think it's great that you and Mr. Demby
are finally taking some social work classes.
I hate it here.
What can the judge have sentenced me to something useful?
Like being a companion to elderly shut-ins
Or rubbing lotion on women down at the beach
Excuse me
Oh, my God
Oh, my
That's Mary Jones
That's your teacher?
She is the foremost authority
on mental impairment categories
She's the one that got moron classified above idiot
Yeah, I bet the morons must really love her
But I bet the idiots are outraged, right?
God, night school is everything I ever dreamed that high school could be
You know, no, no athletics, no proms
Just tests and homework
Hey, you know, sir, I knew a guy like you in high school
He hung himself after he made him eat a bird
Yeah, make jokes
Go ahead
You're in my house now, Henderson
Dumb jock
Hello
I'm Mike
Oh, hey, I'm Norm
Hi, uh, Max
Yeah, man, being a social worker is gonna be so much more exciting than what I
used to do
Oh, yeah?
What, were you dead before or something?
Um, excuse me
You're Max Denby, aren't you?
Guilty as charged
Oh, we heard you actually work in a social work office everyone's been talking
about
Well, truth be told, I don't work there
I run the place
I feel like George Hamilton
99
I got a 99 on my first social work test
That's an A plus
That is very good, sir
No, no, no, Laurie, technically it's excellent
Norm, how'd you do on your test?
Me? Uh, they couldn't find my test
Really, Norm, I could swear that they did
In fact, I heard it was a dehumanizing experience
Did you bring your scuba gear?
I believe you were below sea level
That's very clever, sir
I might take it that the new shipment of Dixie Riddle cups came in today?
You just can't stand it that brains count for more than brawn
From now on, it's gonna be a whole different ball game
Yeah, it's gonna be one where everyone throws like a girl
Norm, I know school's been tough so far
But you got that big paper coming up
And if you try harder, you can do better
Try harder, do better?
Not how I was raised, Annie
Norm, I think I'm gonna be able to help you
I went and found all my old notes
From when I was taking classes in social work
Oh, really? Thanks a lot, Laurie
These are really gonna help
Hey, hey, hey, look at this
It's a picture of your brother wearing your underwear
Oh, no, no, that's me
Hey, check this out
A whole stack of turnpapers here
Hey, turnpapers?
Yeah
Let me see this
Hey, I can use one of these
Yeah, there's no way Denby will ever come up with anything this good
Uh, no, no
You can't just hand in one of those papers, Mom
Well, of course, I'm not gonna just hand it in
I'm gonna pay some loser $2 to retype it
Oh, hey, Danny
Listen, you wanna make a couple of bucks?
I made up a little history about our marriage
I figured that the first thing that attracted me to you was your great smile
Oh, well, thanks, Danny
Yeah, and I figured that we met at a Star Trek convention
Oh, we were there to make fun of all the losers, right?
Yeah, until we realized that they're just regular people with full lives
Who happened to know that Star Trek was a great show?
Why do I have to wear this thing?
I need pictures to convince them that we're a family
You're supposed to look seven
We'll shrink you down on the computer later
All right, let's get a picture here, huh?
Oh, okay
What do you think? How do we look?
I think you look like a beautiful family hanging around a giant cowboy
There you go
Now, listen, take this camera, but be sure not to break it
Because it doesn't belong to me, all right?
Okay
All right, relax, you'll be careful
If he breaks it, I'll get you another one, okay?
Hi, guys
Hey, Lori
Hey, listen, let's go get some action shots of you and Danny
Playing in the park
Yeah
On the way, we need to pick up that reinforced tricycle
Okay, Norm
Ready to help you with your paper
Oh, no need, no need
I already finished it, turned it in
Well, that was fast
What was it called?
Huh?
Oh, uh
It was called, uh, social work
The key
The key to the problems which are difficult
Difficult, uh, problems
Problems which must be solved
And not caused by, uh, the, uh, social worker, uh, in the, uh, United States of
America
That's a long title
Oh, well, thank you, thank you very much
Uh-huh
Do you have a, do you have a copy of it?
Because I'd love to read it
No, no, I don't have a copy
I already turned in my only copy
What is my paper doing here next to your computer?
You didn't turn in this paper, did you?
No
Of course I didn't turn in
That paper's right there
I turned in another one
Norm
Is the content of the paper you turned in
The same as the content of my paper?
I think you can tell from my attitude, Lori
That I don't want to discuss this
I can't believe you plagiarized my paper
Look, Lori, I had to, all right
Denby was making fun of me all the time
He was driving me crazy
Besides which, nobody's ever going to find out
Oh, yes, they will
That paper got published
And your teacher's going to recognize it
Oh, my God
This is all your fault
You did this to yourself, Norm
And you're going to look pretty good
To Denby and the rest of the class
When you get thrown out
Yeah, well, I don't think
I'm going to look pretty good
I think I'm going to look pretty
Oh, I see what you're doing
Hey, listen, Mrs. Jones
I got something to tell you here
Oh, Norm, I know you've been having trouble
Fitting in here
But I just want you to know
That eventually you'll find your own group
Yeah, well, that's not it
I already have my own group
It's called the rest of the world
We even have our own clubhouse
Maybe you've heard of
It's a little blue ball
That spins around the sun
I don't understand that
So did you want to talk to me about something?
Yeah, yeah, I did
You see, I got something
That's kind of tough to tell you here
You know, that term paper I handed in
I didn't really write it
I copied it off a friend of mine
And I apologize to you
I'm sorry
Wow, Norm, I'm shocked
Well, you turned yourself in
So I'm not going to flunk you out of the class
But I have to give you a zero on that paper
That means you have to do especially well on this test
On, uh, on this test?
Yes
On this test right here
So study hard
All right, I will
I, uh, I just want to say
That I'm glad you've given me a second chance
Because I've been truthful
And I promise I will not let you down
Hey, what's that over there?
What?
Uh, that over there
Where the two walls meet?
What, the corner?
The corner, yes, that's it
Hey, Norm, ready to study?
Ah, yes, ma'am, ready to go
All right
Now, uh, I thought, Lori
That we should start
With some displacement issues
Okay
Now, uh, let's say
That you're faced with a child
Who is over-solicitous
Of his new sibling
Yeah
What kind of defense mechanism
Do you think he's displaying?
Uh, reaction
Fantasy
Or introjection
Oh, oh
Or do you think, Lori
That it might be D
None of the above
Well, it's definitely reaction formation
Excellent, excellent
Okay, next question
Um, now, why
Why did you say D?
You didn't get a hold of that test, did you?
Lori
Come on
I'm offended
At the very thought of that
Come on, man
I show a little interest
And suddenly you attack me
I'm sorry
Okay, go ahead
All right
Now, referring to the diagram above
You got that test
All right, that's it
Oh, Lori, what are you doing?
No, Norm, I'm not gonna do it
I'm not gonna help you anymore
Lori, wait, come on
What?
Listen, I
There's a reason that I cheated
Oh, what are you gonna tell me?
Huh?
That you were the junk
That got through high school
By charming all the teachers
And playing sports
And you never really did believe
In your own intelligence
Oh, well, oh, I guessed right
Look, Lori, I can't keep this stuff in my head
I read the book
I can't keep it in my head
Well, Norm, come on
You're one of the smartest people I know
You can do this
You're just
Maybe you're just too tense
Maybe if you could relax
You'd be able to concentrate better
Take a deep breath
Okay
Okay
Now, now
Now listen
One of the features
That distinguishes family therapy
Is the relative emphasis
Placed on the relationships
With people in one's life
Hmm
Okay
So, what did I just say?
Was it something about a fish?
I thought you wanted to kick Demby's ass
On this test tonight
Why are you drinking?
Well, because it's no use
I was up with Lori all night
Last night studying
You know, Dad was right
I'm as dumb as a post
And you'll never amount to anything
You know what I always do to help me remember stuff?
I make everything into a song.
For instance, you know how I remember the alphabet?
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, E, F, G, E, F, G.
But that's not the alphabet song.
Oh, you're right.
That's the song I used to help me remember
Mary Had a Little Lamb.
How am I supposed to remember
that borderline and suicidal individuals
often vacillate between rigidly held
yet contradictory points of view?
You said vacillate. That sounds dirty.
Hey, wait a second.
All right, did you see what just happened?
I remembered what I read in the book.
Hey, maybe Lori was right.
Maybe the only reason you couldn't remember
was because you were too tense.
Now that you're relaxed,
what else you got going on up there?
Here, give me another shot. I'll find out.
The square of the hypotenuse
equals the sum of the square
of the other two sides.
The smallest particle known to man
is the neutrino.
Miriam called for you in 10th grade.
She called for me?
Yeah, her parents are going out of town this weekend
for a Jimmy Carter rally.
She wants to invite you over
and she says she wants to go all the way.
Well, what's her number?
Klondike 50134.
Hey, Artie, this is great.
I'm just gonna keep drinking
and studying.
I'm gonna ace that test.
Artie, what's the matter, man?
I'm sorry, but
I just get so choked up
when I think of all the problems
that could so easily be solved by booze.
Well, we are so very glad to meet you.
And Billy seems like such a wonderful boy.
But may I ask,
well, if you loved him so much,
why did you give him up?
Well, uh, we had to move into a smaller house.
Well, I don't mean to trivialize that,
but it just seems that if you really loved Billy,
that wouldn't be enough of a reason to let him go.
Yes, I can understand why you would say that.
But, uh, also, um,
I'm dying.
Oh, my God.
You knew, dear.
Of course I knew.
I just, uh,
I didn't think
you knew.
I-I'm just so
very sorry for you both,
but wouldn't having Billy around
help you get through this painful time?
You might think so.
Uh, but I'm so in love
with this lady here that
when she's gone,
I won't be much use to anyone,
let alone a growing boy.
I mean,
just the thought that
I'm never gonna see
those beautiful blue eyes again
or hear their great laugh of hers
or just be able to hold her hand,
I could hardly bear it.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Well, I can only hope
that we're able to give Billy
the same kind of loving environment
that obviously existed in your home.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
And in the meantime,
we will pray for a miracle.
Why?
Oh, yes, of course.
Thank you.
Oh, well, let's go.
Good luck with everything.
Thank you for meeting me.
Bye-bye.
Danny, how did you come up
with all that sweet stuff about me?
I don't know.
I just opened my mouth
and it came out.
Well, we did it.
We got Billy adopted.
Yeah, the one's great.
We're still holding hands.
Yeah, I know.
We should probably let go.
Okay.
Hey, uh,
you relaxed enough
to take this test?
Oh, yeah, I think so, man.
I'm relaxed enough for a B+.
I'd try to get relaxed enough
for an A,
but I think I'd throw up.
All right, everybody,
let's take our seats.
If everyone's ready,
you may now begin.
Ah.
Ah.
Oh.
Oh.
Norm, yes.
Yes, the answer to one is A.
Thank you, Norm,
but instead of calling it out,
you should write it down.
Write it down.
Ha-ha.
You're the teacher.
And you're pretty.
You're not pretty.
Nice try.
You're not gonna cheat off me,
Henderson,
because you're not gonna,
you're gonna fail
because you're stupid.
Sir,
the answer to number two
is C.
Don't you remember
Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
That's ridiculous.
Oh, my God,
you're right.
I knew I should spend
more time studying
instead of chasing tail.
What's the,
what's number three?
Tell me I'm smart.
No,
give me the answer,
you twit.
All right.
The answer
to four is D.
Max,
Norm.
Has she been standing here
the whole time?
I won't have cheating
in my class.
I'm going to fail
both of you.
You'll have to take
this class again.
Now,
I want you both
to leave.
Loser.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Oh,
I can't believe
this is happening.
I,
this was the high point
of my whole life.
I finally,
finally,
I was cool.
Ah,
sir,
don't feel bad.
Listen to this now.
All your life,
you have been rejected,
maligned,
humiliated.
Yes.
That's it.
I can't believe
Norm never gave you
the message.
Yeah,
really,
returning this phone call
could have changed my life.
Miriam could have been the one.
Von Dyke 50134.
Was she pretty?
Oh,
my God.
Yeah,
so natural,
man.
She never wore any makeup.
She was the type of chick
that could roll right out of bed
and look great.
Hello,
Miriam?
Artie Henderson.
I go by Mimi now.
You have a lot of nerve
returning my call
after 20 years,
you jackass.
Hey,
20 years ago,
you were interested.
Can't we at least
have phone sex?
I thought we were
having phone sex.
I'm done.
So,
Mr. Atkinson,
you were given
probation for running
a child labor sweatshop.
That's totally untrue.
I run a very popular
summer camp.
Mr. Atkinson,
it says here
that you had 50 children
sitting at electric
sewing machines
while the floor
was covered
with two inches of water.
Well,
I like to keep
the floor wet.
There are no fire exits.
You told the children
that if they didn't
meet their quota,
they would never
see their parents again?
No,
now that's...
Okay,
you got me on that one.
Listen,
actually,
I think I can help
you with this.
I have some specialists
that are very interested
in your case
that I'd like to bring
in right now.
Come on in,
gentlemen.
Let's go.
They're the fathers
of the children
that work at your camp.
They'll be finishing
the session.
Bye.
Bye.

Episode 41   Norm vs Schoolin 2000 12 15

All right, well, uh, I'm glad we finally found a family
that's, uh, considering adopting Billy.
Well, we're not sure why, but we think Billy might be
the perfect fit for our family.
I couldn't agree with you more. Donut?
No, thanks. We brought our own.
Now, Billy, do you have any questions for us?
Uh, yeah, yeah, I do.
Um, how would you react if I wanted to bring a girl home
and, uh, let her stay in my room?
Well, uh, we don't mind if you have sex,
but as long as you have it responsibly.
All right.
What if it turns out that, uh, I paid for this woman?
And, uh, yeah, well, and that I paid for her with your credit card.
Well, then you will be reimbursing us, young man.
Well, well, I'm glad.
I think we've found a family perfect for our Billy.
Also, uh, I'd like to come and live with you.
Well, this has been very helpful.
It's been very nice to meet you, Billy.
It was great. Can we talk to you for a minute, Norm?
Oh, sure. I'll walk you out.
Well, he seems like a fine boy.
Oh, yeah. I guess the only thing left to do
is to meet his previous foster parents.
Oh, uh, no, I'm afraid that's impossible.
Oh, dear.
Well, we feel very strongly about that.
We had a bad experience with an adoption once.
Yeah, if this isn't possible, uh,
well, we won't be able to go through it.
Oh, uh, no, no.
When I said impossible, I meant, I meant, uh, the opposite.
Well, great. Uh, we'll wait for your call.
Great.
Uh, honey, do you want to go down the elevator first?
Oh.
He is such a gentleman.
Norm, you can't introduce the Wootens
to Billy's last foster parents.
It was a disaster.
I know, I know.
The mother just wrote that book,
Never Adopt Billy.
Oh, that's not fair.
Billy's so much better now.
Yeah.
I'd be his foster parent,
except everybody already thinks I'm gay.
Wait, wait.
The Wootens never saw Danny and Shelly.
So what if they pretend to be Billy's foster parents?
Wait a second.
We, what if we get caught?
This has got to be against all kinds of rules.
We could get fired.
Look, look, you're not gonna get fired, all right?
But what if we are?
Look, I'm telling you,
with all the confidence at my command,
you will not be fired.
Norm, we could be fired.
Okay, so you get fired.
Too bad that you're not as smart
As you thought you were in the first place
Too bad that you had to get caught
That's not like you to lose face
So sad that you're not as smart
As you thought you were in the first place
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
Too bad
I know you don't really want to be here, Norm,
but I think it's great that you and Mr. Demby
are finally taking some social work classes.
I hate it here.
What can the judge have sentenced me to something useful?
Like being a companion to elderly shut-ins
Or rubbing lotion on women down at the beach
Excuse me
Oh, my God
Oh, my
That's Mary Jones
That's your teacher?
She is the foremost authority
on mental impairment categories
She's the one that got moron classified above idiot
Yeah, I bet the morons must really love her
But I bet the idiots are outraged, right?
God, night school is everything I ever dreamed that high school could be
You know, no, no athletics, no proms
Just tests and homework
Hey, you know, sir, I knew a guy like you in high school
He hung himself after he made him eat a bird
Yeah, make jokes
Go ahead
You're in my house now, Henderson
Dumb jock
Hello
I'm Mike
Oh, hey, I'm Norm
Hi, uh, Max
Yeah, man, being a social worker is gonna be so much more exciting than what I
used to do
Oh, yeah?
What, were you dead before or something?
Um, excuse me
You're Max Denby, aren't you?
Guilty as charged
Oh, we heard you actually work in a social work office everyone's been talking
about
Well, truth be told, I don't work there
I run the place
I feel like George Hamilton
99
I got a 99 on my first social work test
That's an A plus
That is very good, sir
No, no, no, Laurie, technically it's excellent
Norm, how'd you do on your test?
Me? Uh, they couldn't find my test
Really, Norm, I could swear that they did
In fact, I heard it was a dehumanizing experience
Did you bring your scuba gear?
I believe you were below sea level
That's very clever, sir
I might take it that the new shipment of Dixie Riddle cups came in today?
You just can't stand it that brains count for more than brawn
From now on, it's gonna be a whole different ball game
Yeah, it's gonna be one where everyone throws like a girl
Norm, I know school's been tough so far
But you got that big paper coming up
And if you try harder, you can do better
Try harder, do better?
Not how I was raised, Annie
Norm, I think I'm gonna be able to help you
I went and found all my old notes
From when I was taking classes in social work
Oh, really? Thanks a lot, Laurie
These are really gonna help
Hey, hey, hey, look at this
It's a picture of your brother wearing your underwear
Oh, no, no, that's me
Hey, check this out
A whole stack of turnpapers here
Hey, turnpapers?
Yeah
Let me see this
Hey, I can use one of these
Yeah, there's no way Denby will ever come up with anything this good
Uh, no, no
You can't just hand in one of those papers, Mom
Well, of course, I'm not gonna just hand it in
I'm gonna pay some loser $2 to retype it
Oh, hey, Danny
Listen, you wanna make a couple of bucks?
I made up a little history about our marriage
I figured that the first thing that attracted me to you was your great smile
Oh, well, thanks, Danny
Yeah, and I figured that we met at a Star Trek convention
Oh, we were there to make fun of all the losers, right?
Yeah, until we realized that they're just regular people with full lives
Who happened to know that Star Trek was a great show?
Why do I have to wear this thing?
I need pictures to convince them that we're a family
You're supposed to look seven
We'll shrink you down on the computer later
All right, let's get a picture here, huh?
Oh, okay
What do you think? How do we look?
I think you look like a beautiful family hanging around a giant cowboy
There you go
Now, listen, take this camera, but be sure not to break it
Because it doesn't belong to me, all right?
Okay
All right, relax, you'll be careful
If he breaks it, I'll get you another one, okay?
Hi, guys
Hey, Lori
Hey, listen, let's go get some action shots of you and Danny
Playing in the park
Yeah
On the way, we need to pick up that reinforced tricycle
Okay, Norm
Ready to help you with your paper
Oh, no need, no need
I already finished it, turned it in
Well, that was fast
What was it called?
Huh?
Oh, uh
It was called, uh, social work
The key
The key to the problems which are difficult
Difficult, uh, problems
Problems which must be solved
And not caused by, uh, the, uh, social worker, uh, in the, uh, United States of
America
That's a long title
Oh, well, thank you, thank you very much
Uh-huh
Do you have a, do you have a copy of it?
Because I'd love to read it
No, no, I don't have a copy
I already turned in my only copy
What is my paper doing here next to your computer?
You didn't turn in this paper, did you?
No
Of course I didn't turn in
That paper's right there
I turned in another one
Norm
Is the content of the paper you turned in
The same as the content of my paper?
I think you can tell from my attitude, Lori
That I don't want to discuss this
I can't believe you plagiarized my paper
Look, Lori, I had to, all right
Denby was making fun of me all the time
He was driving me crazy
Besides which, nobody's ever going to find out
Oh, yes, they will
That paper got published
And your teacher's going to recognize it
Oh, my God
This is all your fault
You did this to yourself, Norm
And you're going to look pretty good
To Denby and the rest of the class
When you get thrown out
Yeah, well, I don't think
I'm going to look pretty good
I think I'm going to look pretty
Oh, I see what you're doing
Hey, listen, Mrs. Jones
I got something to tell you here
Oh, Norm, I know you've been having trouble
Fitting in here
But I just want you to know
That eventually you'll find your own group
Yeah, well, that's not it
I already have my own group
It's called the rest of the world
We even have our own clubhouse
Maybe you've heard of
It's a little blue ball
That spins around the sun
I don't understand that
So did you want to talk to me about something?
Yeah, yeah, I did
You see, I got something
That's kind of tough to tell you here
You know, that term paper I handed in
I didn't really write it
I copied it off a friend of mine
And I apologize to you
I'm sorry
Wow, Norm, I'm shocked
Well, you turned yourself in
So I'm not going to flunk you out of the class
But I have to give you a zero on that paper
That means you have to do especially well on this test
On, uh, on this test?
Yes
On this test right here
So study hard
All right, I will
I, uh, I just want to say
That I'm glad you've given me a second chance
Because I've been truthful
And I promise I will not let you down
Hey, what's that over there?
What?
Uh, that over there
Where the two walls meet?
What, the corner?
The corner, yes, that's it
Hey, Norm, ready to study?
Ah, yes, ma'am, ready to go
All right
Now, uh, I thought, Lori
That we should start
With some displacement issues
Okay
Now, uh, let's say
That you're faced with a child
Who is over-solicitous
Of his new sibling
Yeah
What kind of defense mechanism
Do you think he's displaying?
Uh, reaction
Fantasy
Or introjection
Oh, oh
Or do you think, Lori
That it might be D
None of the above
Well, it's definitely reaction formation
Excellent, excellent
Okay, next question
Um, now, why
Why did you say D?
You didn't get a hold of that test, did you?
Lori
Come on
I'm offended
At the very thought of that
Come on, man
I show a little interest
And suddenly you attack me
I'm sorry
Okay, go ahead
All right
Now, referring to the diagram above
You got that test
All right, that's it
Oh, Lori, what are you doing?
No, Norm, I'm not gonna do it
I'm not gonna help you anymore
Lori, wait, come on
What?
Listen, I
There's a reason that I cheated
Oh, what are you gonna tell me?
Huh?
That you were the junk
That got through high school
By charming all the teachers
And playing sports
And you never really did believe
In your own intelligence
Oh, well, oh, I guessed right
Look, Lori, I can't keep this stuff in my head
I read the book
I can't keep it in my head
Well, Norm, come on
You're one of the smartest people I know
You can do this
You're just
Maybe you're just too tense
Maybe if you could relax
You'd be able to concentrate better
Take a deep breath
Okay
Okay
Now, now
Now listen
One of the features
That distinguishes family therapy
Is the relative emphasis
Placed on the relationships
With people in one's life
Hmm
Okay
So, what did I just say?
Was it something about a fish?
I thought you wanted to kick Demby's ass
On this test tonight
Why are you drinking?
Well, because it's no use
I was up with Lori all night
Last night studying
You know, Dad was right
I'm as dumb as a post
And you'll never amount to anything
You know what I always do to help me remember stuff?
I make everything into a song.
For instance, you know how I remember the alphabet?
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, E, F, G, E, F, G.
But that's not the alphabet song.
Oh, you're right.
That's the song I used to help me remember
Mary Had a Little Lamb.
How am I supposed to remember
that borderline and suicidal individuals
often vacillate between rigidly held
yet contradictory points of view?
You said vacillate. That sounds dirty.
Hey, wait a second.
All right, did you see what just happened?
I remembered what I read in the book.
Hey, maybe Lori was right.
Maybe the only reason you couldn't remember
was because you were too tense.
Now that you're relaxed,
what else you got going on up there?
Here, give me another shot. I'll find out.
The square of the hypotenuse
equals the sum of the square
of the other two sides.
The smallest particle known to man
is the neutrino.
Miriam called for you in 10th grade.
She called for me?
Yeah, her parents are going out of town this weekend
for a Jimmy Carter rally.
She wants to invite you over
and she says she wants to 