Name: Episode 52 Norm's Free 2001 03 23
Uploaded: 2022-06-28T05:00:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Episode 52 Norm's Free 2001 03 23' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-28. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Episode 52 Norm's Free 2001 03 23' from TickleMeNorm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-28. Transcript available. Be Sad Now #normmacdonald #norm.

Oh, come on, Lori, come on.
All right, one more game of Hangman,
and then I've got to get back to work.
Okay, excellent. Okay. There it is.
All right. Is there an A?
Uh-huh. There are two A's.
Is there a K?
Yeah, there is a K.
You're going to do Naked Lady every time?
No, as a matter of fact,
I didn't do Naked Lady this time, okay?
Is it? Is there an N?
I don't want to play it.
Ha-ha!
Hey, Artie, what's with the Flyers?
I'm trying to drum up some business for the bar.
Starting tonight, Chuffa's bar will feature a monkey.
I don't get it.
Why would people want to drink and see a monkey?
Are you going to come tonight?
Yeah.
Oh, hey, Artie.
Listen, you might want to stick around.
I'm going to do a funny joke on Danby.
What is it?
Well, let's just say that I paid his dry cleaner 50 bucks
to let me adjust his pants.
Gather round, everybody.
Gather round.
This is a very exciting day for me.
It's probably the most exciting day of my life.
I just found out today I've been promoted.
We're going to miss you, sir.
No, no, no.
I'm not going anywhere.
Oh.
Well, listen, it's a little complicated,
so I'm going to show you on the board
how the new departments break down.
Oh, sir, let me help you with your jacket there.
You don't want to get any markers on it, sir.
There we go.
Thank you.
Thank you, Norm.
There we go.
Thank you.
All right.
All right.
Everybody, eyes over here.
Now, now, now, now, now, until today,
the Probation Department and the Social Service Department
have been divided by a thin but a definite line.
But now they're going to be organized under one man,
and that man is me.
Lori Freeman is going to be, of course,
it's going to be my second in command.
But because of my new responsibilities,
Lori's going to be busier than ever.
Danny, Danny, is my ass hanging out of my pants?
Yes, sir.
And it's all over my desk.
Damn you.
Damn you, Henderson.
Hey, who's the kid there?
That's Demby's grandson.
He brought him in today because he thought
it was going to be his big day.
Hey, hey, Matthew Cabrera,
help me in my pants on the New York Times.
Somebody should have told me this.
Look, I didn't know.
Lori, I didn't know.
Ah, Norm, I know you're hurting.
But listen, there's nothing wrong with you
that can't be fixed by a couple of stiff drinks
and a monkey.
Too bad that you're not as smart
as you thought you were in the first place.
Too bad that you had to get caught.
That's not like you to lose face.
So sad that you're not as smart
as you thought you were in the first place.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Hey, hey, listen.
Where's Mr. Denby?
He's moving files from probation into his office.
Why?
Because I feel real bad about, you know,
how I made him feel bad in front of his grandson there.
And I've decided that from now on,
I am going to be nice to Mr. Denby.
How's that going to work?
Well, I figure that every time I think of something mean to say,
I'll just stop myself.
You know, it's going to be very difficult, but I can do it.
Hey, Mr. Denby, why don't you let me help you?
Yeah, stay away from me.
That was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me.
I had pig's blood dumped on me in my senior prom.
Oh, I know, sir.
Come on, let me help, huh?
What makes you think I can't do this myself?
Nothing, sir.
I'm just offering you my assistance, sir.
Yeah, well, I don't care if you help me or not.
I don't trust you.
Well, how dumb do I look?
Uh, not dumb at all.
Not dumb, sir.
Hey, Artie, where's the monkey?
We want to see the funny monkey.
Yeah, let us see a funny monkey while we drink a beer.
Well, he's over here.
There he is.
He's cute.
What does he do?
That's it.
Sometimes he sighs.
Last night, I thought I heard him crying.
That's the most depressing monkey I've ever seen.
Hey, man, your monkey sucks.
He's totally bringing us down.
All right, that's it.
I'm losing business.
I got to get rid of this stupid monkey.
Come on, Artie.
There must be some way to cheer him up.
I don't get it.
He should be happy.
I mean, he used to be on the TV.
Wait a minute.
He looks familiar.
What's his name?
Mika.
Oh, my God.
It's Mika from La Cosa Loca con el gordo y Mika.
The crazy house with the fat guy and the monkey.
He used to watch it on Spanish television all the time.
El Gordo was his Mexican wrestler.
A Mexican wrestler and a monkey?
You know, I know their government and economy is all screwed up,
but who's ever running that TV department down there
has really got his head on straight.
Actually, it's kind of sad.
The show went off the air when El Gordo died.
Oh, how did he die?
Well, he had a bit too much to drink one night,
and he drove his El Camino into the pool of a mot de seis.
Well, you know, that's too bad,
but I've got to get someone in here a little less depressing.
Come on, Artie.
You can't get rid of Mika.
I mean, I bet he's just depressed because El Gordo died.
I don't know, man.
Look, give the monkey a chance.
I'll figure out a way to cheer him up.
Hey, look, he's going to do a trick with the newspaper.
No, he's just going to the bathroom.
Grandpa!
Hey, Matthew.
Hi.
Hey there, Matthew.
How you doing?
Hey.
Listen, I bet you didn't know your grandfather was such a funny fella, huh?
I mean, this morning we were all sad here in the office,
and Grandpa Max came in and showed his bare bottom
to make everybody giggle.
Grandpa, you did that on purpose.
Well, what can I say?
I'm just a complete nut.
Oh, hey, hey, Matt.
Listen, this is something that your grandfather gave me to give to you.
It's his Congressional Medal of Honor.
Yeah, and did you know something about Congressional Medals of Honor?
In the middle, they're pure milk chocolate.
Awesome.
Yeah, there you go.
Now, hey, listen, I got something else for you there.
Matthew, look at this.
Five washers.
What are these for?
Oh, oh, they're magic washers.
The soda machine in the hall thinks that they're quarters.
Yeah!
Oh, gosh, that was really nice of you.
Oh, yeah, well, sir, I felt bad about the way I treated you in front of your
grandson there.
Well, you know, I'm not really all that much fun as a grandpa.
I had him on my shoulders once, and my knee went out.
I dropped him in the rose bushes.
Well, sir, don't worry about that.
Listen, you know, you don't have to be fun to be a grandpa, you know?
You just have to be old.
Oh, thanks, Norm, thanks.
Also, I think that one day soon you're going to teach that young man a valuable
lesson about how to cope with the death of his grandfather.
You know, I'm going to take Matthew home, and then I don't really have any
plans for lunch.
Oh, hey, how about you make a sandwich, huh, and eat it?
No.
Why don't I, I don't think maybe you want to come with me?
I probably don't.
Oh, well, yeah, actually, I would like that, sir.
That'd be nice.
That's really exciting, you know.
You're the first person to ever agree to come to lunch with me in, like, 32
years.
Oh, you guys had another late lunch together, huh?
Oh, I tell you, man, when Mr. Demby and I started yapping, you know,
we're just like a couple of housewives across the backyard fans.
You know, I really enjoyed spending time with you, Norm.
The last couple of days, I've really enjoyed it.
Yeah, me too, sir, me too.
You know, it's frowned on this culture for men to express affection,
so I'm just going to fake boxing.
Sir, sir, sir.
You know, you've given me so much work to do.
I'm not going to be able to type up the reports until tomorrow morning.
What?
Oh, why don't I finish those up for you, sir?
Oh, thanks, big buddy.
He's my big buddy.
Norm, I didn't think you'd go this far sucking up to Demby.
I'm not sucking up to him.
He's a real good guy.
Come on, be honest.
He can't hear you.
I'm serious, Laurie.
With Mr. Demby, once you get past the fuddy-duddy veneer and the thin, almost-translucent
skin,
you get to a network of clogged arteries and veins.
But you go beneath those clogged arteries and veins, Laurie, and you will find
a brittle skeleton.
But go past the brittle skeleton, and that's when you find the soul of the man.
And that ain't half bad, Jack.
Uh, Norm, I want you to fill out this form and call me Carmine.
Oh, no.
You call me Carmine.
Okay.
Carmine!
Carmine?
What is going on with that?
I have no idea what it means, but, uh, I, uh, I have a theory that it's his
first inside joke.
Hey, Laurie.
Yeah, hi.
What's going on?
I've been looking at Demby's new responsibilities, and did you know that as
head of probation,
he now has the power to commute Norm's community service?
He does?
Yeah.
And now that he and Norm are good friends, maybe he'll cut Norm loose so he can
get out of here.
Oh, but Norm doesn't want to leave, and he's doing, uh, better around here
lately,
and, and all of his friends are here.
Well, Laurie, I think we should give Norm that choice.
Hey, Mr. Demby.
Yeah?
Did you know your new position gives you the power to set Norm free?
It does?
Yeah.
And I thought, well, now that you guys are friends, you might want to, you know,
give him
an early review, and...
You bastard!
Oh, no, you bastard!
But, I thought you were my friend because you liked me, and it turns out you've
just been
using me the whole time.
Oh, no, I thought you were my friend because I was, I can't remember that one.
Hey, let's do Carmine again.
Carmine!
This isn't a joke, Henderson.
Did you really think I would, uh, I wouldn't figure out you were buttering me
up so that
I'd commute your sentence?
You didn't commute my sentence?
Yeah, no, like you didn't know.
Uh, I, I, I'm, I'm not going to commute your sentence.
It backfired.
I'm going to give you five more years, and I'm going to make your life a living
hell.
What?
Yeah, I'm, I'm pulling out of our timeshare!
Hey, Danny, call me.
Where is he?
He'll be back in a minute.
Where's Mika?
Ah, he's back at my place.
He's still depressed.
He hasn't gotten out of his robe all day.
He even stopped grooming himself.
Although, I think that might just be a monkey thing.
Marty, glad you're here.
I think I got a way to cheer at Mika.
I thought he missed performing, so, you know, I figured he might feel better if
he put on
a show for the kids at the children's hospital.
Hey, that might work.
Yeah, so I went out and I bought an El Gordo costume.
How do I look?
Better.
Okay, what do you got there, Norm?
Oh, I wrote up a petition against Denby for the way he's been treating me.
It says that he's creating a hostile work environment for me, so I should be
released immediately.
Oh, got a lot of signatures.
I would have thought people would be afraid to sign something against their
boss.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they are.
That's why Big Bob over there, he thinks he signed a petition to, uh, put fried
chicken
in the vending machines.
Yeah, they're all like that.
I'm gonna go get another one.
Okay.
Ah, excuse me, ma'am, would you like to sign my petition to, uh, uh, give, uh,
full benefits
to same-sex marriages?
Oh, hey, Lori, hey, uh, I got a petition against Mr. Denby.
Yeah, I heard about that.
Yeah, and I got a place right here for you to sign right on top, because you
have the most
seniority.
Well, I'm not gonna sign up.
Well, what are you talking about?
Because I just think you ought to, you know, talk to him first.
Oh, no, no, come on, he'll never forgive me.
I already tried to talk to him.
Listen, if you sign this, I get to be released immediately.
Yes, I know that, but what I'm saying is that I don't think that you should
leave, you know,
because, frankly, you're, you have not paid your debt to society, and I am a
member of society,
and I, I want my debt paid.
Hey, Lori, I keep telling you, you're gonna inhale that correction fluid, it's
gonna catch up to you.
There's a flea on the tick, on the hair, on the ward, on the frog, on the knot,
on the log,
in the hole, in the bottom of the sea.
There's a flea on the tick, on the hair, on the ward, on the frog, on the knot,
on the log,
in the hole, in the bottom of the sea.
There's a hole, there's a hole, there's a hole in the bottom of the sea.
There's a trigger, on the flea, on the tick, on the hair, on the ward, on the
frog, on the knot,
on the log, in the hole, in the bottom of the sea.
Artie's here with the monkey.
Oh, thank God.
The monkey's behind the window and ready to go.
Okay.
Okay, kids, gather around, come on, hey!
All right, get ready to meet your special amigo, Mika!
Mika!
It's okay, kids, the monkey's just happy to see you.
Oh, yeah, sometimes when animals are happy, they like to show their razor-sharp
teeth.
I'll go calm them down.
Yeah, I don't get it.
How could he hate kids?
He's performed in front of them for years.
Well, maybe it's not the kids.
Maybe he doesn't like hospitals.
Or maybe he doesn't like glass or something.
Maybe!
Maybe he doesn't like El Gordo.
Well, he don't look so depressed anymore.
Oh, my God, Danny.
Are you all right?
We heard you got attacked by that monkey.
Yeah, apparently the monkey had a lot of hostility toward El Gordo.
But, you know, once he put on the show for the kids, he wasn't depressed
anymore.
Yeah, the important thing is that Mika's finally happy, and I have to get 13
shots in my abdomen.
Norm.
Norm.
Yeah?
I just saw Mr. Sweeney's assistant.
Evidently, you left this petition on his desk.
Yeah, so?
It's got my signature on it.
Right, thanks for your support.
No, I didn't sign that.
Oh, yeah, you did sign that, and I can prove it.
How?
Because I have a note that you wrote me.
It says, I'm so glad I changed my mind and signed your petition, Love, Lori.
That also is not my signature.
Oh, yes, it is, and I have proof of that, too.
It says, I'm glad I sent you the first note, Love, Lori.
What, are we just gonna do this all day long?
Yeah, if you want to, we can do this all day long.
Forget it.
Forget it.
What the hell is wrong with you, Lori?
I mean, come on.
Everybody in this office signed that petition.
Granted, a lot of them thought it was for other reasons, but the point is, they
stepped up to the plate.
I'm not signing it.
You know what?
I don't even want to be your friend anymore, all right?
If you want to be my friend, you can give me a written apology and put it on my
desk.
I'm gonna go work on it.
Can you believe this guy?
Lori, don't you see what you're doing?
What?
You're trying to stop Norm from leaving, because you think once he gets out of
here, you're never gonna see him again.
Shelly, you are so wrong.
Lori, face it.
Norm makes coming to work fun for you, and you're afraid you're gonna miss him.
Look, I have feelings for him, too, but I know that getting out of here is
gonna be the best thing for him.
Shelly, I am a professional therapist.
I believe I know what's going on in my own mind.
For instance, right now, this whole front part right here is occupied with...
Shut up, Shelly.
Attention, attention, everybody.
I heard about the petition Norm is sending around, and I just wanted you to
know that anyone who signs it is gonna have an answer to me.
But, sir, this is a machine that gives you fried chicken whenever you want it.
What the hell is he talking about?
Mr. Denby, I need to talk to you about Norm.
Don't you dare defend him.
No, I'm not defending him.
He has made everybody's life here a living hell.
Good point.
40 more years.
No, sir, no, no, no.
My point is that even though Norm is my best friend, I cannot work with him any
longer, so you are going to have to choose.
You either cut him loose or you transfer me out.
Oh, I know what you're doing.
You're trying to defend him.
You're bluffing.
You're not gonna quit.
You're bluffing.
Well, you'll just have to see if I'm bluffing.
But wait, wait.
No, I don't know how the voicemail works.
I don't know anything.
I need you, Lori.
It's either him or me.
All right, go.
Then go.
And if there's a God, you'll be dead by nightfall.
Hey, Lori, listen, I think that subconsciously you did that for me, huh?
Norm, I'm happy for you, you know, but I'm really gonna miss you because you do
make things fun around here.
Yeah, I'm out of this hell hole.
Ah, this is excellent.
The whole world is open to me now, Lori.
The whole world, that is, that doesn't require a college education, any type of
training, or will to work at all.
Norm, I'm very happy for you.
Thanks, buddy.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Well, this is it, Lori.
Yeah.
I got the whole world at my feet when I go out there.
I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I am gonna go out there, and I am going to be a new man.
See you later.
Bye.
So is this where I apply for government assistance?
It's very serious.
It's a mera.
I'm not sure if we can save this patient.
Okay, thanks.
Iscarpoo.
Esponja.
Pastel de crema gigante.
Ay, ay, ay, ay.

Episode 52   Norm's Free 2001 03 23

Oh, come on, Lori, come on.
All right, one more game of Hangman,
and then I've got to get back to work.
Okay, excellent. Okay. There it is.
All right. Is there an A?
Uh-huh. There are two A's.
Is there a K?
Yeah, there is a K.
You're going to do Naked Lady every time?
No, as a matter of fact,
I didn't do Naked Lady this time, okay?
Is it? Is there an N?
I don't want to play it.
Ha-ha!
Hey, Artie, what's with the Flyers?
I'm trying to drum up some business for the bar.
Starting tonight, Chuffa's bar will feature a monkey.
I don't get it.
Why would people want to drink and see a monkey?
Are you going to come tonight?
Yeah.
Oh, hey, Artie.
Listen, you might want to stick around.
I'm going to do a funny joke on Danby.
What is it?
Well, let's just say that I paid his dry cleaner 50 bucks
to let me adjust his pants.
Gather round, everybody.
Gather round.
This is a very exciting day for me.
It's probably the most exciting day of my life.
I just found out today I've been promoted.
We're going to miss you, sir.
No, no, no.
I'm not going anywhere.
Oh.
Well, listen, it's a little complicated,
so I'm going to show you on the board
how the new departments break down.
Oh, sir, let me help you with your jacket there.
You don't want to get any markers on it, sir.
There we go.
Thank you.
Thank you, Norm.
There we go.
Thank you.
All right.
All right.
Everybody, eyes over here.
Now, now, now, now, now, until today,
the Probation Department and the Social Service Department
have been divided by a thin but a definite line.
But now they're going to be organized under one man,
and that man is me.
Lori Freeman is going to be, of course,
it's going to be my second in command.
But because of my new responsibilities,
Lori's going to be busier than ever.
Danny, Danny, is my ass hanging out of my pants?
Yes, sir.
And it's all over my desk.
Damn you.
Damn you, Henderson.
Hey, who's the kid there?
That's Demby's grandson.
He brought him in today because he thought
it was going to be his big day.
Hey, hey, Matthew Cabrera,
help me in my pants on the New York Times.
Somebody should have told me this.
Look, I didn't know.
Lori, I didn't know.
Ah, Norm, I know you're hurting.
But listen, there's nothing wrong with you
that can't be fixed by a couple of stiff drinks
and a monkey.
Too bad that you're not as smart
as you thought you were in the first place.
Too bad that you had to get caught.
That's not like you to lose face.
So sad that you're not as smart
as you thought you were in the first place.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Too bad.
Hey, hey, listen.
Where's Mr. Denby?
He's moving files from probation into his office.
Why?
Because I feel real bad about, you know,
how I made him feel bad in front of his grandson there.
And I've decided that from now on,
I am going to be nice to Mr. Denby.
How's that going to work?
Well, I figure that every time I think of something mean to say,
I'll just stop myself.
You know, it's going to be very difficult, but I can do it.
Hey, Mr. Denby, why don't you let me help you?
Yeah, stay away from me.
That was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me.
I had pig's blood dumped on me in my senior prom.
Oh, I know, sir.
Come on, let me help, huh?
What makes you think I can't do this myself?
Nothing, sir.
I'm just offering you my assistance, sir.
Yeah, well, I don't care if you help me or not.
I don't trust you.
Well, how dumb do I look?
Uh, not dumb at all.
Not dumb, sir.
Hey, Artie, where's the monkey?
We want to see the funny monkey.
Yeah, let us see a funny monkey while we drink a beer.
Well, he's over here.
There he is.
He's cute.
What does he do?
That's it.
Sometimes he sighs.
Last night, I thought I heard him crying.
That's the most depressing monkey I've ever seen.
Hey, man, your monkey sucks.
He's totally bringing us down.
All right, that's it.
I'm losing business.
I got to get rid of this stupid monkey.
Come on, Artie.
There must be some way to cheer him up.
I don't get it.
He should be happy.
I mean, he used to be on the TV.
Wait a minute.
He looks familiar.
What's his name?
Mika.
Oh, my God.
It's Mika from La Cosa Loca con el gordo y Mika.
The crazy house with the fat guy and the monkey.
He used to watch it on Spanish television all the time.
El Gordo was his Mexican wrestler.
A Mexican wrestler and a monkey?
You know, I know their government and economy is all screwed up,
but who's ever running that TV department down there
has really got his head on straight.
Actually, it's kind of sad.
The show went off the air when El Gordo died.
Oh, how did he die?
Well, he had a bit too much to drink one night,
and he drove his El Camino into the pool of a mot de seis.
Well, you know, that's too bad,
but I've got to get someone in here a little less depressing.
Come on, Artie.
You can't get rid of Mika.
I mean, I bet he's just depressed because El Gordo died.
I don't know, man.
Look, give the monkey a chance.
I'll figure out a way to cheer him up.
Hey, look, he's going to do a trick with the newspaper.
No, he's just going to the bathroom.
Grandpa!
Hey, Matthew.
Hi.
Hey there, Matthew.
How you doing?
Hey.
Listen, I bet you didn't know your grandfather was such a funny fella, huh?
I mean, this morning we were all sad here in the office,
and Grandpa Max came in and showed his bare bottom
to make everybody giggle.
Grandpa, you did that on purpose.
Well, what can I say?
I'm just a complete nut.
Oh, hey, hey, Matt.
Listen, this is something that your grandfather gave me to give to you.
It's his Congressional Medal of Honor.
Yeah, and did you know something about Congressional Medals of Honor?
In the middle, they're pure milk chocolate.
Awesome.
Yeah, there you go.
Now, hey, listen, I got something else for you there.
Matthew, look at this.
Five washers.
What are these for?
Oh, oh, they're magic washers.
The soda machine in the hall thinks that they're quarters.
Yeah!
Oh, gosh, that was really nice of you.
Oh, yeah, well, sir, I felt bad about the way I treated you in front of your
grandson there.
Well, you know, I'm not really all that much fun as a grandpa.
I had him on my shoulders once, and my knee went out.
I dropped him in the rose bushes.
Well, sir, don't worry about that.
Listen, you know, you don't have to be fun to be a grandpa, you know?
You just have to be old.
Oh, thanks, Norm, thanks.
Also, I think that one day soon you're going to teach that young man a valuable
lesson about how to cope with the death of his grandfather.
You know, I'm going to take Matthew home, and then I don't really have any
plans for lunch.
Oh, hey, how about you make a sandwich, huh, and eat it?
No.
Why don't I, I don't think maybe you want to come with me?
I probably don't.
Oh, well, yeah, actually, I would like that, sir.
That'd be nice.
That's really exciting, you know.
You're the first person to ever agree to come to lunch with me in, like, 32
years.
Oh, you guys had another late lunch together, huh?
Oh, I tell you, man, when Mr. Demby and I started yapping, you know,
we're just like a couple of housewives across the backyard fans.
You know, I really enjoyed spending time with you, Norm.
The last couple of days, I've really enjoyed it.
Yeah, me too, sir, me too.
You know, it's frowned on this culture for men to express affection,
so I'm just going to fake boxing.
Sir, sir, sir.
You know, you've given me so much work to do.
I'm not going to be able to type up the reports until tomorrow morning.
What?
Oh, why don't I finish those up for you, sir?
Oh, thanks, big buddy.
He's my big buddy.
Norm, I didn't think you'd go this far sucking up to Demby.
I'm not sucking up to him.
He's a real good guy.
Come on, be honest.
He can't hear you.
I'm serious, Laurie.
With Mr. Demby, once you get past the fuddy-duddy veneer and the thin, almost-translucent
skin,
you get to a network of clogged arteries and veins.
But you go beneath those clogged arteries and veins, Laurie, and you will find
a brittle skeleton.
But go past the brittle skeleton, and that's when you find the soul of the man.
And that ain't half bad, Jack.
Uh, Norm, I want you to fill out this form and call me Carmine.
Oh, no.
You call me Carmine.
Okay.
Carmine!
Carmine?
What is going on with that?
I have no idea what it means, but, uh, I, uh, I have a theory that it's his
first inside joke.
Hey, Laurie.
Yeah, hi.
What's going on?
I've been looking at Demby's new responsibilities, and did you know that as
head of probation,
he now has the power to commute Norm's community service?
He does?
Yeah.
And now that he and Norm are good friends, maybe he'll cut Norm loose so he can
get out of here.
Oh, but Norm doesn't want to leave, and he's doing, uh, better around here
lately,
and, and all of his friends are here.
Well, Laurie, I think we should give Norm that choice.
Hey, Mr. Demby.
Yeah?
Did you know your new position gives you the power to set Norm free?
It does?
Yeah.
And I thought, well, now that you guys are friends, you might want to, you know,
give him
an early review, and...
You bastard!
Oh, no, you bastard!
But, I thought you were my friend because you liked me, and it turns out you've
just been
using me the whole time.
Oh, no, I thought you were my friend because I was, I can't remember that one.
Hey, let's do Carmine again.
Carmine!
This isn't a joke, Henderson.
Did you really think I would, uh, I wouldn't figure out you were buttering me
up so that
I'd commute your sentence?
You didn't commute my sentence?
Yeah, no, like you didn't know.
Uh, I, I, I'm, I'm not going to commute your sentence.
It backfired.
I'm going to give you five more years, and I'm going to make your life a living
hell.
What?
Yeah, I'm, I'm pulling out of our timeshare!
Hey, Danny, call me.
Where is he?
He'll be back in a minute.
Where's Mika?
Ah, he's back at my place.
He's still depressed.
He hasn't gotten out of his robe all day.
He even stopped grooming himself.
Although, I think that might just be a monkey thing.
Marty, glad you're here.
I think I got a way to cheer at Mika.
I thought he missed performing, so, you know, I figured he might feel better if
he put on
a show for the kids at the children's hospital.
Hey, that might work.
Yeah, so I went out and I bought an El Gordo costume.
How do I look?
Better.
Okay, what do you got there, Norm?
Oh, I wrote up a petition against Denby for the way he's been treating me.
It says that he's creating a hostile work environment for me, so I should be
released immediately.
Oh, got a lot of signatures.
I would have thought people would be afraid to sign something against their
boss.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they are.
That's why Big Bob over there, he thinks he signed a petition to, uh, put fried
chicken
in the vending machines.
Yeah, they're all like that.
I'm gonna go get another one.
Okay.
Ah, excuse me, ma'am, would you like to sign my petition to, uh, uh, give, uh,
full benefits
to same-sex marriages?
Oh, hey, Lori, hey, uh, I got a petition against Mr. Denby.
Yeah, I heard about that.
Yeah, and I got a place right here for you to sign right on top, because you
have the most
seniority.
Well, I'm not gonna sign up.
Well, what are you talking about?
Because I just think you ought to, you know, talk to him first.
Oh, no, no, come on, he'll never forgive me.
I already tried to talk to him.
Listen, if you sign this, I get to be released immediately.
Yes, I know that, but what I'm saying is that I don't think that you should
leave, you know,
because, frankly, you're, you have not paid your debt to society, and I am a
member of society,
and I, I want my debt paid.
Hey, Lori, I keep telling you, you're gonna inhale that correction fluid, it's
gonna catch up to you.
There's a flea on the tick, on the hair, on the ward, on the frog, on the knot,
on the log,
in the hole, in the bottom of the sea.
There's a flea on the tick, on the hair, on the ward, on the frog, on the knot,
on the log,
in the hole, in the bottom of the sea.
There's a hole, there's a hole, there's a hole in the bottom of the sea.
There's a 