Name: Theo's First Job at BJ's
Uploaded: 2018-06-16T16:20:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo's First Job at BJ's' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-06-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo's First Job at BJ's' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-06-16. Transcript available.

One of my earliest jobs was working at a pizza parlor called BJ's and everybody
knows BJ's means blow jobs
But this place just meant BJ's and it had they had some cards on there and that
meant blackjack
so i'm guessing that that's what the b and the j stood for black jacks and
I was a
um pizza maker and cleaner basically
Um everything bullshit work. I was the lowest guy on the totem pole used to
make pizzas
Now one of the assistant managers was a born-again christian. He was born and
reborn and
unborn and
overborn double born
I mean just a little zygote for christ by the end of it all
And this beautiful creature
Uh didn't know anything about pop culture and he used to wear garfield t-shirts
all the time
And what we would do is me and this other dude who was on methamphetamines
And this other dude my co-worker he would always have his pizzas rolled faster
Faster than me right
He'd have his pizza done, you know in two seconds
You know and they'd be like you need to
The manager would call me in the office like you need to do your pizzas fast as
this guy
And i'm like, well this guy is on drugs
And the money you're paying me I can't afford the drugs that he's on
So unless you raise my pay i'm not going to be able to do drugs
And compete and be competitive here in the in the pizza work place
So
And this dude like I would barely have my my dough rolled out and he would have
his folded it into like a swan
You know like this dude was damn
You know vincent van doe
On that on that yeast you know on that on that flowering yeast
But it was captivating to be in that environment
And I like this job was uh
It was probably my first job in a real business
You know and this is post hams
This is after I sold hamsters and guinea pigs
And this is uh after I cleaned out wishing wells
And this is after I used to I broke into a man's house and just stole stuff
from him one time
And that was it's not really a job
But you do end up with you know some money and some goods and
And you don't you know and so it's kind of like a job
But anyhow so we would make up fake pizza orders for this for this born-again
christian assistant manager on sunday
And we would have orders like danny glover and he would take them out into the
middle
He would take the orders out there five or six pizzas for danny glover
Out on old old man river old military road or something
He would go out there take the pizzas come back an hour later
And there was no wrong address no danny glover
And then we would eat the pizzas and while he was gone we would drink
And we would deep fry everything in the deep fryer and eat it
And that was a really good time
That was one of the best times that I had over there doing that kind of work
Thank you guys for checking out this clip
And if you want to see another clip then you can look at this clip or
This clip either one of these
So did you pick one or he's still just watching me do this because
This is alarming