Name: Podcast Champ: Theo Von V2
Uploaded: 2018-11-03T04:57:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Podcast Champ: Theo Von V2' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-11-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Podcast Champ: Theo Von V2' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-11-03. Transcript available.

Oh
Down south I saw a brother take a bite out of a vietnamese guy once dude took a
bite huge bite out of his fucking arm bruh
Meat and everything bruh ripped it right out the vietnamese guy was like
threatening him with all this karate shit and everything
And his brother just grabbed him fucking bit right into him dude
Bit right into him. If you think about it, that's the way to do it. That stops
karate all the time
Cuz I don't care what type of karate you got they got no defense for the bite.
You know, I'm saying nobody got well
What if a motherfucker goes to bite you?
Hold on. I got a call to the main jab in fucking
My Komodo
And they bite
And you remember that every time you try to fucking hug somebody and if you got
a little divot in it
You know, you got a speed bump in your fucking hug
Why did I let Lee talk me into eat mushrooms on a Wednesday night? Look at you
have to open your eyes, bro
You're ready fucked up
I told you when you go down the fuck when you join the Marines don't send you
to Miami
Yeah, chatty would be the first man. I think about that kind of stuff like if a
plane crash. I already know I'm playing ahead
Dude, I'd eat a vietnamese guy
Why?
Cuz it's easy. It's a starter move if you attack somebody bigger if you eat
somebody bigger in front of other people
It's going to alarm people, but you you gotta eat a small person. So stature is
important
I think if you gum down a viet people aren't gonna be that upset at you
Well, the vietnamese people are gonna be super upset. What are you talking
about somebody's dad their sacrifice. They're more
Understanding of things dude. Is this a character you're playing? No
But if you eat a black dude, you eat a black lady and her family's there. They're
gonna be pissed
So you think a vietnamese person will let you slide I think that they'd be much
more forgiving over a couple of day period
I think like their relatives. You don't think so honestly one thing. No, I don't
think so
I definitely think they'd be super pissed at you especially modernized ones
but what is interesting is like Vietnam is one of the few places where
Americans can go back to Vietnam and they don't seem to hold any grudge at all
exhibit a
exhibit a man honestly
It will Asian people in general are just much more forgiving and understanding
it seems like I feel like I think I mean
I don't have much I think I think that's a giant generalization. It probably is
You know, I mean I did a fast for like four days, and then I was at the Best
Buy and
And I remember this Vietnamese guy was trying to help me out, and I couldn't
even hear him. I was so hungry
And I couldn't you did a fast for four days. Oh, dude. Yeah
What were you trying to prove? I don't know man?
I was probably just dealing with some stuff, and I was just trying to find a
different way to handle it, you know, right?
And then I remember this Vietnamese guy, and I remember thinking if everybody
turned the other way for a second
I could eat this young fella, you know Ben his name was Ben actually over there
in Westwood
But and I never got it so ridiculous well, I mean
But here's the thing I'd never thought that before so you only thought you got
to the verge of cannibalism after just four days
Yeah
Damn, how much weight did you lose? I've probably lost about four pounds pounds.
I needed to yeah, but I got clear man
I could and I could hear swear to God y'all could hear somebody fold a piece of
bread from 80 feet away, bro
I was so hungry, dude. I could hear a fucking skittle hit the cement
Across the street. I really could man
That voice that you only let out in front of your friends. Yeah, and that your
friends like that is fucking hilarious
We're having a conversation at the store one night. You're like last week
Some guy got found with 30 pounds of hamster bones, you know they did in my
town that it's busted a man
It just doesn't there right away. You got to stop what you're doing that
conversation and giggle because nine out of ten people wouldn't be proud that
That happened in their hometown, you know saying like they wouldn't even
mention it if somebody comes up to me go
Are you from New Orleans? Not really? I'm from Texas. Wait a second. Yeah, I
gotta go
You know you get to that point most fucking people would be embarrassed to say
something like that or would take them
10 minutes after everybody told their story yeah to say oh by the way
There's a guy but no we were just talking to my yes, dude. Yeah, we were ready
to go home
And you came out with it and I'm fuck me and Lee would dine in the car like
what's he talking about?
Hamster me what the fuck is he talking about?
And that's yeah, they busted him man listen, they got him what if thank God
No, I'm glad they got him dude 30 pound bag of hamster one like I mean that's
cuz you have to there's not as much meat
There's very little bone in a hamster brother and ham's got a ham probably has
Like a court like an eighth of an ounce in his chest plate, bro. You can't even
make a wish on their bones, you know
There's nothing in there. Where do you get all those hamsters from? That's it?
Well, they breed them in our town. I used to work for this group. They used to
sell tattooed hamsters and guinea pigs after uh
They tattoo them yeah, they used to brand them with concerts and raves
They would say it's tattooed just to make people not be as sad about it
But it was a brand, bro
Of what?
Well, like a heat and ink, bro for what like what did it say?
Oh, 311 green day anything like a different bands that were coming to town
Toadies
Swear to God bro, toadies, acid bath, uh, who else, uh, rave, whatever, bro
We used to truck these hams into the city and fucking vend them, bro
We did man
Because there wasn't much there wasn't much work in our town, dude
You know, you had to get what you could get and they had a man that bred hamsters
And uh, and then they had to do the tattoos and they fucking met up and that
was a merger
That's big business, you know, and they started uh
A merger
They started doing it
Man, I got me some 300
Mouse in my house and shit and some other guy's like, you know what, man?
I'm a pretty good tattoo artist
That's Louisiana, right?
And that's it, a merger is full of time
That means someone listening to this right now has had a hamster with like a
band label on it
Who the fuck buys a hamster?
Listen, if I went to a concert, do you think I'm bringing a hamster home?
With fucking AC/DC on it?
No, I'm not
No, I'm not
I'm about to rock
I'm gonna be fucked up the whole night with this hamster in my pocket
But when you leave, when you leave, Coco, when you leave the place, that's when
we get you, bro
You get it, people are leaving, they're on ecstasy pills, they're on molly
You leave, you get that fucking hamster, you get that warm little piece of god
in their hands
They buy it every time, bro
I was on the Rogan podcast and I told the truth
My main alpha trait
Lee's on the griddle over here, son
He's fucked up
Hang in there, bro
He's gonna look beautiful, he's gonna start seeing devils in a second
I love it
We'll cut it short and then we'll do a
We'll do a periscope with the lights off
Black Sabbath, we sold ourselves for rock and roll
And we'll lock the door and make bets to see how long it takes
Before Lee comes shooting out the window
Oh, we locked this big girl in our town
We locked this big girl one time, we ate some acid
And we locked this big girl into a room at this party
And we kept going in there with fucking pots of fucking warm water
Pouring it on, I feel bad
I feel horrible, dude
Look, we were just kids and we were on acid, dude
And then, bro
You can't tell me this story when I'm straight
You gotta tell me I'm mushroomed, you locked the girl
I just remembered
How old were you?
I just remembered it
How old were you?
Probably 16
That's terrible
I know, but here's the thing
Let's say I was 14, that way it makes it sound not as bad, bro
But look, she ate acid with us, bro
She ate acid with us, dude
And what happened was
And we kept going in the room with like these pots of warm water
I don't know why we had the pots of warm water
Because I think we just were fucked up, dude
And we would like pour a little on her
But not like torches
She wasn't in a cage or nothing
She was just, you know, free range in this room, right?
But I think she was scared to come out
And then one time we went in, bro
We heard this loud sound and we went in
I wonder why
She had ran against one of the walls so hard, bro
Had fucking moved the entire wall in this house, dude
Huge girl, about 240 pounds
Beautiful girl, too
The most beautiful, biggest girl that I've ever known
Oh my god
Beautiful girl
Beautiful hair, beautiful face
Just large and beautiful
But she fucking got lifted, bro
And uh
Yeah, man, fuck
I just came down a little bit off that fuck
I just had a little mushroom fucking high, bro
Fuck yeah
I've been up there one time
I love yoga, dude
I just started getting into it
Do you?
Oh, dude, I feel
I fucking
Do you work out in general?
I used to
I used to be in like powerlifting and everything, dude
I used to be jacked back in the day
Really?
I was an animal, dude
I was fucking
We on them steroids
Sprinkling protein powder under my
We on them steroids, though?
I was on steroids for a while when I was young, dude
Really?
Yeah
You were on steroids?
Testosterone, something
Yeah
You just started to run a stack just to get jacked?
Yeah, it was like a southern stack
It was like testosterone and like Crisco or something
I was going to say gravy
Fucking testing gravy
Deck of D-Ball and fucking fried chicken
Yeah
Oh, I was so jacked on something
And Mountain Dew red?
Dude, I was so jacked at one point
I couldn't use Q-tips in my ears
Because I couldn't get my
Really?
Yeah
Is there pictures online of this?
I don't know
There might be, man
Fucking find that chin
There might be
You were just doing it just for
Just to try it out or what?
I mean, if you want to really know
When I really think back on what I was doing
Yeah, I'd love that
I was just
How old were you, first of all?
Yeah, I was
Let me see
17 or 18
Nope, it was after that
That's when I got involved in this damn cult
What the fuck?
Is that a real cult?
Yeah, bro
Are you not on set there?
That's out in Reseda, dude
What are you doing?
Huh?
Why are you doing that?
Looking for the Lord, brother
What do you think I was doing?
Same thing you probably were
But, um
Hey, man
What are you doing?
Yeah, bro
Whatever, dude
You never hung around black people?
Things happen, bro
Bro, it looks like you're in, like, Africa
There
Yeah, why is it, dude?
I was probably out east of Santa Clarita
And you were just, uh
Trying to blend in?
Just an adult
Yeah, dude
It's, uh
Rural
It gets pretty rural out there
How long were you out there?
Oh, dude
Long enough, bro
Long enough to catch the sweats, you know
Long enough to put a warp zone in your spirit
I was out there, dude
Eating fucking dolphin dandruff
Doing dope
Out there, boy
Playing color me mine with my own body
Living out there, boy
Making pottery out of my dick
But I'll tell you this, man
Um
What were we talking about?
Oh, steroids
Oh, steroids
Before you were in a coat
Yeah, man
See him doing dick pottery
Dude, I've been in some
Aborigines
That's the dark arts, bro
I've been in the dark arts
You've been in some dark places, man
I do
There's some
Theodarkness there, bro
But I've never been in a fire
On La Cienega
That lasted this long
You know what I'm saying?
Jesus Christ
Back to your fucking
Uh
But yeah, I used to use them
At a performance enhancing drugs
And I used, uh
Dude, I remember this
Yeah, now I feel bad
About what we did
To that bigger girl, bro
You can't
You know
But we didn't do it
Because she was big
We just did it
She just wanted to
She just got fucked up
And she couldn't get out the room
You know
Like I got fucked
One of my best friends
Got fucked up one time
And he started talking
About Asian people
And we never even seen
Any Asians in our life
And he started
Never in your life?
No, and I guess
Maybe like in her past life
He might have known
Some Asians, you know
And so he starts
Bringing up their names, bro
And knowing them
And knowing shit about them
On this mattress
In this house
And I'm like
Fuck, dude
You're fucked up, bro
I'm leaving, right?
So apparently
I'm the kind of friend
That when your friend
Is at his worst
You fucking leave, bro
Because I was just
He's talking about
Chinese people
Yeah
He's never met Chinese people
We never known any
So what is he saying?
He's just saying like
Hey, you remember fucking
Like sin
Like you remember
Fucking son lamb, bro
He was there for us
You know
And all this shit
I'm like son lamb, bro
We don't know him, dude
You know
He was fucking like
Talking about Dorothy
Dorothy
Dorothy
You know
We didn't know any Asians, bro
And I'm like
I gotta get away from this dude
So where you came from
You know
The first wigger I ever met
Was from our town, bro
I think the first wigger ever, man
This kid named
Brian St. Pierre, bro
And
They put him in class
He was a white dude
That was trying to be black
Yeah
He was a white dude
Where did he move from?
Oh, fuck
Nowhere, bro
He fucking just
You know
He was raised like
Kind of like
You know
He was like Mowgli
You know
Like he was just fucking
Spent a little bit of time
On the other side of town
You know
And the brothers
Really got a hold of him
And
And he was cool, though
He was a cool dude
Mowgli
He was, bro
He was like a Mowgli
You know
My whole body just shook
I thought it was an earthquake
For him
He was like
Oh, my God
That's an inner yoga, bro
That's an inner yoga
But look, man
They put him
In the fucking
Mentally handicapped class, bro
Because they'd never seen it before
They'd never seen it before
They put him in class
With kids with Down syndrome
With kids with
In wheelchairs
They put him
What, just a dude
Who had like a
Couldn't he just be like
Hey, guys
That's just the way
I want to talk
I don't even know
What the fuck you're saying
Lee right now
You sound like him right now
They'll probably put you
In that class right now
Oh, Lee would be it
I don't even know
What you're saying
You're like that fucking
You're like
They put the wigger
In the special class
That's who you sounded
That's what that dude
Sounded like
They wanted a dollar today
Lee
You sound like cousin it
Shit
I'm like
What the fuck's he saying
I'm over here
You know
Before we started
Lee kept thinking
He was hearing a buzz
And in the mics
Oh my god
People
We started late
Because Lee was looking
Around the room like
And now he's making
A buzz
And in the mics
Listen to him
He's the walking buzz
Over here
When I was
When I was 19
I went to the movies
With Louie Castellito
Yeah, I'm at the
Hard Rock Rocksino
In Cleveland
It's actually in the
Birds
Hard Rock Rocksino
In Cleveland
Northfield
It's called
June 3rd
Through the 5th
And then
I'm at Punchline
In Atlanta
June 9th
Through the 12th
You catch me on
Doug Benson's podcast
I'll be on his podcast
There too
I think they're
Taping that there
Then I'm going to
The beach
With my family
We'll be down there
In fucking
St. Joe's
Fuck it
I don't know
If it's Alabama
Or Florida
It's going to be
Fucked up
I'll be vlogging
A little bit of that
I've dropped a vlog
On YouTube
You can check it out
It's called
This Past Weekend
And I'll be with my family
And then
That's it man
If I'm fucking
Just saying crazy shit
Now
I'm so fucked up
In July
I'll be in
You're like man
Next May
I'm going to be
At a barbecue
I'll be eating pizza
At least
I'm just going
Through my calendar
Jesus Christ
Give me two dates
He whips out
The fucking
He whips out
The webpage
He starts dropping
Dates
In fucking
In 2018
Look at the producer
Dude
He's doing a tour
With Marvin Cho
In 2018
I'll be giving blood
And this other
Poor fucking
Zombo
Go get some air
Ready you fuck
You're going to
Sit there
Like a Buddhist
Who's been shot
Hey but look
In typical
Memorial Day fashion
We ain't leaving
This fucking soldier
I don't give a fuck
About what you do
But for you to
Drag your kid
Down the dark cave
What's up
Yeah that's fucked up
What's going on buddy
You alright over there
You alright over there
You wanna go outside
And get some air
Tell me the truth
You wanna go outside
And get some air
Let me do some
Fucking
Let me do some
Fucking call
A shout out to you
And we'll wrap this
Motherfucker
There we go
I think that's the idea
He's feeling fucked up
Now don't start
Let him get electrocuted
It's alright
We need somebody
To get electrocuted
On this show
I got electrocuted
When I was younger man
Actually you know
Who saved me bro
A brother saved me man
And I don't know
If you're out there
Would you stop already
You got electrocuted
Yeah at the fair
At the fair
They used to let us
They used to let us
Come in a day early
To the fair
To test the rides
We didn't know
We didn't know
We didn't know
We were getting picked
30 cents
Get on the rides
Look at please
Lee's on the ones
And twos now
Lee
Like a fucking
You look like
A fucking M&M
I'm not afraid
Damn
A machine guy
Kelly
You want some air
Is it time
For you to get
Some air
Lee
Lee
We don't give a fuck
The fucking cannon
Hit Lee
Yeah you can get up
You need help
To get up
And go get some air
You're not gonna vomit
On the fucking table
No I'm okay
The cannon hit Lee man
Wow you know
What's crazy
Is my sister
Can't even
Read
But what does it
Have to do with us
Right now
Hope you enjoyed
That video
And you can watch
Another
And you can watch
This one
You can watch
This one
Different options
Different choices
Some guy just brings
You one option
Not this guy
Two options
Watch one
This one or this one

Podcast Champ: Theo Von V2

Oh
Down south I saw a brother take a bite out of a vietnamese guy once dude took a
bite huge bite out of his fucking arm bruh
Meat and everything bruh ripped it right out the vietnamese guy was like
threatening him with all this karate shit and everything
And his brother just grabbed him fucking bit right into him dude
Bit right into him. If you think about it, that's the way to do it. That stops
karate all the time
Cuz I don't care what type of karate you got they got no defense for the bite.
You know, I'm saying nobody got well
What if a motherfucker goes to bite you?
Hold on. I got a call to the main jab in fucking
My Komodo
And they bite
And you remember that every time you try to fucking hug somebody and if you got
a little divot in it
You know, you got a speed bump in your fucking hug
Why did I let Lee talk me into eat mushrooms on a Wednesday night? Look at you
have to open your eyes, bro
You're ready fucked up
I told you when you go down the fuck when you join the Marines don't send you
to Miami
Yeah, chatty would be the first man. I think about that kind of stuff like if a
plane crash. I already know I'm playing ahead
Dude, I'd eat a vietnamese guy
Why?
Cuz it's easy. It's a starter move if you attack somebody bigger if you eat
somebody bigger in front of other people
It's going to alarm people, but you you gotta eat a small person. So stature is
important
I think if you gum down a viet people aren't gonna be that upset at you
Well, the vietnamese people are gonna be super upset. What are you talking
about somebody's dad their sacrifice. They're more
Understanding of things dude. Is this a character you're playing? No
But if you eat a black dude, you eat a black lady and her family's there. They're
gonna be pissed
So you think a vietnamese person will let you slide I think that they'd be much
more forgiving over a couple of day period
I think like their relatives. You don't think so honestly one thing. No, I don't
think so
I definitely think they'd be super pissed at you especially modernized ones
but what is interesting is like Vietnam is one of the few places where
Americans can go back to Vietnam and they don't seem to hold any grudge at all
exhibit a
exhibit a man honestly
It will Asian people in general are just much more forgiving and understanding
it seems like I feel like I think I mean
I don't have much I think I think that's a giant generalization. It probably is
You know, I mean I did a fast for like four days, and then I was at the Best
Buy and
And I remember this Vietnamese guy was trying to help me out, and I couldn't
even hear him. I was so hungry
And I couldn't you did a fast for four days. Oh, dude. Yeah
What were you trying to prove? I don't know man?
I was probably just dealing with some stuff, and I was just trying to find a
different way to handle it, you know, right?
And then I remember this Vietnamese guy, and I remember thinking if everybody
turned the other way for a second
I could eat this young fella, you know Ben his name was Ben actually over there
in Westwood
But and I never got it so ridiculous well, I mean
But here's the thing I'd never thought that before so you only thought you got
to the verge of cannibalism after just four days
Yeah
Damn, how much weight did you lose? I've probably lost about four pounds pounds.
I needed to yeah, but I got clear man
I could and I could hear swear to God y'all could hear somebody fold a piece of
bread from 80 feet away, bro
I was so hungry, dude. I could hear a fucking skittle hit the cement
Across the street. I really could man
That voice that you only let out in front of your friends. Yeah, and that your
friends like that is fucking hilarious
We're having a conversation at the store one night. You're like last week
Some guy got found with 30 pounds of hamster bones, you know they did in my
town that it's busted a man
It just doesn't there right away. You got to stop what you're doing that
conversation and giggle because nine out of ten people wouldn't be proud that
That happened in their hometown, you know saying like they wouldn't even
mention it if somebody comes up to me go
Are you from New Orleans? Not really? I'm from Texas. Wait a second. Yeah, I
gotta go
You know you get to that point most fucking people would be embarrassed to say
something like that or would take them
10 minutes after everybody told their story yeah to say oh by the way
There's a guy but no we were just talking to my yes, dude. Yeah, we were ready
to go home
And you came out with it and I'm fuck me and Lee would dine in the car like
what's he talking about?
Hamster me what the fuck is he talking about?
And that's yeah, they busted him man listen, they got him what if thank God
No, I'm glad they got him dude 30 pound bag of hamster one like I mean that's
cuz you have to there's not as much meat
There's very little bone in a hamster brother and ham's got a ham probably has
Like a court like an eighth of an ounce in his chest plate, bro. You can't even
make a wish on their bones, you know
There's nothing in there. Where do you get all those hamsters from? That's it?
Well, they breed them in our town. I used to work for this group. They used to
sell tattooed hamsters and guinea pigs after uh
They tattoo them yeah, they used to brand them with concerts and raves
They would say it's tattooed just to make people not be as sad about it
But it was a brand, bro
Of what?
Well, like a heat and ink, bro for what like what did it say?
Oh, 311 green day anything like a different bands that were coming to town
Toadies
Swear to God bro, toadies, acid bath, uh, who else, uh, rave, whatever, bro
We used to truck these hams into the city and fucking vend them, bro
We did man
Because there wasn't much there wasn't much work in our town, dude
You know, you had to get what you could get and they had a man that bred hamsters
And uh, and then they had to do the tattoos and they fucking met up and that
was a merger
That's big business, you know, and they started uh
A merger
They started doing it
Man, I got me some 300
Mouse in my house and shit and some other guy's like, you know what, man?
I'm a pretty good tattoo artist
That's Louisiana, right?
And that's it, a merger is full of time
That means someone listening to this right now has had a hamster with like a
band label on it
Who the fuck buys a hamster?
Listen, if I went to a concert, do you think I'm bringing a hamster home?
With fucking AC/DC on it?
No, I'm not
No, I'm not
I'm about to rock
I'm gonna be fucked up the whole night with this hamster in my pocket
But when you leave, when you leave, Coco, when you leave the place, that's when
we get you, bro
You get it, people are leaving, they're on ecstasy pills, they're on molly
You leave, you get that fucking hamster, you get that warm little piece of god
in their hands
They buy it every time, bro
I was on the Rogan podcast and I told the truth
My main alpha trait
Lee's on the griddle over here, son
He's fucked up
Hang in there, bro
He's gonna look beautiful, he's gonna start seeing devils in a second
I love it
We'll cut it short and then we'll do a
We'll do a periscope with the lights off
Black Sabbath, we sold ourselves for rock and roll
And we'll lock the door and make bets to see how long it takes
Before Lee comes shooting out the window
Oh, we locked this big girl in our town
We locked this big girl one time, we ate some acid
And we locked this big girl into a room at this party
And we kept going in there with fucking pots of fucking warm water
Pouring it on, I feel bad
I feel horrible, dude
Look, we were just kids and we were on acid, dude
And then, bro
You can't tell me this story when I'm straight
You gotta tell me I'm mushroomed, you locked the girl
I just remembered
How old were you?
I just remembered it
How old were you?
Probably 16
That's terrible
I know, but here's the thing
Let's say I was 14, that way it makes it sound not as bad, bro
But look, she ate acid with us, bro
She ate acid with us, dude
And what happened was
And we kept going in the room with like these pots of warm water
I don't know why we had the pots of warm water
Because I think we just were fucked up, dude
And we would like pour a little on her
But not like torches
She wasn't in a cage or nothing
She was just, you know, free range in this room, right?
But I think she was scared to come out
And then one time we went in, bro
We heard this loud sound and we went in
I wonder why
She had ran against one of the walls so hard, bro
Had fucking moved the entire wall in this house, dude
Huge girl, about 240 pounds
Beautiful girl, too
The most beautiful, biggest girl that I've ever known
Oh my god
Beautiful girl
Beautiful hair, beautiful face
Just large and beautiful
But she fucking got lifted, bro
And uh
Yeah, man, fuck
I just came down a little bit off that fuck
I just had a little mushroom fucking high, bro
Fuck yeah
I've been up there one time
I love yoga, dude
I just started getting into it
Do you?
Oh, dude, I feel
I fucking
Do you work out in general?
I used to
I used to be in like powerlifting and everything, dude
I used to be jacked back in the day
Really?
I was an animal, dude
I was fucking
We on them steroids
Sprinkling protein powder under my
We on them steroids, though?
I was on steroids for a while when I was young, dude
Really?
Yeah
You were on steroids?
Testosterone, something
Yeah
You just started to run a stack just to get jacked?
Yeah, it was like a southern stack
It was like testosterone and like Crisco or something
I was going to say gravy
Fucking testing gravy
Deck of D-Ball and fucking fried chicken
Yeah
Oh, I was so jacked on something
And Mountain Dew red?
Dude, I was so jacked at one point
I couldn't use Q-tips in my ears
Because I couldn't get my
Really?
Yeah
Is there pictures online of this?
I don't know
There might be, man
Fucking find that chin
There might be
You were just doing it just for
Just to try it out or what?
I mean, if you want to really know
When I really think back on what I was doing
Yeah, I'd love that
I was just
How old were you, first of all?
Yeah, I was
Let me see
17 or 18
Nope, it was after that
That's when I got involved in this damn cult
What the fuck?
Is that a real cult?
Yeah, bro
Are you not on set there?
That's out in Reseda, dude
What are you doing?
Huh?
Why are you doing that?
Looking for the Lord, brother
What do you think I was doing?
Same thing you probably were
But, um
Hey, man
What are you doing?
Yeah, bro
Whatever, dude
You never hung around black people?
Things happen, bro
Bro, it looks like you're in, like, Africa
There
Yeah, why is it, dude?
I was probably out east of Santa Clarita
And you were just, uh
Trying to blend in?
Just an adult
Yeah, dude
It's, uh
Rural
It gets pretty rural out there
How long were you out there?
Oh, dude
Long enough, bro
Long enough to catch the sweats, you know
Long enough to put a warp zone in your spirit
I was out there, dude
Eating fucking dolphin dandruff
Doing dope
Out there, boy
Playing color me mine with my own body
Living out there, boy
Making pottery out of my dick
But I'll tell you this, man
Um
What were we talking about?
Oh, steroids
Oh, steroids
Before you were in a coat
Yeah, man
See him doing dick pottery
Dude, I've been in some
Aborigines
That's the dark arts, bro
I've been in the dark arts
You've been in some dark places, man
I do
There's some
Theodarkness there, bro
But I've never been in a fire
On La Cienega
That lasted this long
You know what I'm saying?
Jesus Christ
Back to your fucking
Uh
But yeah, I used to use them
At a performance enhancing drugs
And I used, uh
Dude, I remember this
Yeah, now I feel bad
About what we did
To that bigger girl, bro
You can't
You know
But we didn't do it
Because she was big
We just did it
She just wanted to
She just got fucked up
And she couldn't get out the room
You know
Like I got fucked
One of my best friends
Got fucked up one time
And he started talking
About Asian people
And we never even seen
Any Asians in our life
And 