Name: Joe Jitsukawa and Theo Von Talk About Worms and Lice
Uploaded: 2018-11-09T22:51:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Jitsukawa and Theo Von Talk About Worms and Lice' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-11-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Jitsukawa and Theo Von Talk About Worms and Lice' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-11-09. Transcript available.

I mean, everybody had head lice by us, so that's like a constant game.
Have you ever had head lice?
Nah, nah.
Yeah, I think that's more of like a regional thing.
We had like worms.
Oh, you did?
Oh, dude, if somebody got worms, dude, you would take them outside and burn
them.
No, you never had like worms that would crawl out of your butt and stuff from
playing in the sand and shit, no?
Whoa, dude, we're about to go, going deep.
Yeah.
Nah, man, tell me about this, dude.
If somebody, let me tell you this, somebody had worms come out of their butt by
us, dude?
They're not allowed back at church.
No, I mean, I thought that was pretty common for us kids, like we'd go play in
a sandbox and fucking go eat afterwards or whatever.
I remember like, maybe this is an Asian thing, but we, my parents would remedy
it by fucking pouring vinegar up my ass.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Dang, bro.
I was like, I thought everyone went through this shit.
Uh-uh.
I don't even know what that's called, dude.
I think that's how, I mean, that's freaking, that's a rare.
I had to get dewormed, bro.
That's a rare vinaigrette you guys are making over there, bro.
What else would they put in there?
Anything else?
No, it was just, I just, I would just like, yeah, I would have vinegar.
That's it.
And how would they do it?
Would one of them like hold your legs open?
No, like my mom would be like, all right.
You know when you're a kid and they help you wipe your ass and shit, you just
get in that position, right?
So, fuck, booty in the air, and then they just pour out a cap of vinegar in my
bottle.
Damn, dude.
Yeah.
Well, this sounds like some kind of rapper stuff, dude.
This sounds like something you would see on-
Like an initiation for a gang or something?
Yeah, this sounds like something you would see on some old, you know, some Lil
Wayne shit.
Nah, that was one of the ways that-
This sounds like some usher R. Kelly does to people.
This seems like how R. Kelly makes salad dressing.
You know what's fucked up, too?
I probably could have just went to the doctor and got like a pill or something
and then dewormed myself.
And so they would just pour it in and that would kill them.
Yeah.
I mean-
And then you just pass the worms, right?
I mean, I would assume.
I don't know, man.
I was like in elementary school, probably like first or second grade or
something.
But did you think about just sitting around and having worms just like being
inside of your body?
I mean, you're basically a bait shop at that point.
You know what I'm saying?
It freaked me out, though, because I remember I had an itchy-ass butt.
And I kept telling my parents, like, what's going on, man?
My fucking butthole's been itching for ages.
And they're like, what?
Yeah.
Making me G my C over here, dude.
Grab my crotch.
When people say itchy butthole, that stuff makes me grab my crotch, bro.
You feel the tingles.
It just makes me nervous, yeah.
Yeah.
I keep my butthole pretty clean, I feel like, overall, you know?
I think there was a couple years where I wasn't really caring about it.
Yeah.
But as an adult, I've really, you know, I shine up my shell shop, you know?
How did you deal with the head lice?
What was that like?
Oh, everybody had it.
I mean, you would give it to your friend.
You'd fucking sneak up and give it to a girl you like so that you could bring
her that shampoo
a couple days later.
Well, you would flake it on them?
Like, you would give it to them?
No, just sneak up behind them and just be near them long enough.
Because, bro, they had some rare strands where I was from.
What?
Oh, they had African-American head lice.
They had all types.
Basic white dude head lice.
Damn.
Bro, the African-American, they'd jump across the fucking room under your head.
Damn, they'd do a layup while they're doing it.
That's crazy, man.
Other lice would be giving them, like, scores.
Oh, shit.
Seven, nine, you know?
Two of them would be jumping over each other when I'm sitting in chairs, when I'm
ordering
a pizza while they're in the air.
All kind of stuff.
But, yeah, head lice was popular where I was from.
What other games, dude?
They had this big dude named Wayne Wayne.
He was named Wayne two times first, a middle name.
Because his parents couldn't decide if they wanted to name it for his first
name or his
middle name until they fucking got in a fight about it.
And then they both, out of anger, no, out of anger.
Like, oh, you're not going to fucking let me name him Wayne?
Then I'm going to fucking name him Wayne.
And the other one's like, oh, you ain't going to fucking let me name him Wayne?
Then I'm naming him Wayne.
And he was, Wayne, Wayne.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
Wayne, Wayne, dude.
Because they're both agreeing, like, it's already Wayne.
Yeah, but they were disagreeing.
On how it's spelled or like?
No.
Oh, okay.
You know, you've had to agree to disagree.
This was disagree to disagree.
And fucking now they got a double Wayne.
Oh, man.
They got Wayne squared and ironically horrible at math, dude.
This dude was on, this dude was severely uneducated.
And he was in school.
He was probably, bro, I remember him being 40 or maybe even 50 years old and
probably
in elementary school, eighth or ninth grade.
And that's going to let you stay in, dude.
Because I remember his hair started falling out in class at some point and
people started
getting scared.
Because people thought he got bit by something and that's why his hair was
falling out.
But it was because of adulthood.
You know, he'd gone on deep into adulthood.
Anyway, but the thing was, yeah, people got laced by us.
What else did people get, man?
Well, thanks for watching that video right there.
That was a beautiful little segment, I think.
But of course, I'm partisan to myself.
But you can move on to another video right now.
You could check on this video or on this video.
That's two different options.
And you can also subscribe to the channel.
Check on a new video.
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