Name: Theo Von on Bathroom Nervousness
Uploaded: 2018-11-13T01:36:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von on Bathroom Nervousness' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-11-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von on Bathroom Nervousness' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-11-13. Transcript available.

What else happened this weekend, man?
Oh, I got nervous, dude.
You know, one thing sometimes like,
you know, I'm trying to deal with like, you know,
meeting more people and stuff like that
when I'm out just, you know, running around.
And in the bathroom, I'm fine.
I got that nervousness.
You know, I got that nervousness.
And nerves, it's basically like dirty electricity
that hides in your body.
And I get it when I'm at the urinal.
You know, and the urinal is just basically
a special hole that they made
and they put like a pretty thing over it
and you just urinate into it.
It's by the wall.
And I get up there, man, and I noticed I was in Phoenix
and I'm peeing at the urinal, doing what I do,
you know, letting God just pull water out of my body
through the front of me.
And I couldn't go.
And the two dudes that we all showed up
at the same time.
And then they left.
They got finished.
You know, these fellas are all emptied out
and I'm still just standing there, just riding.
I mean, this is like a, you know,
it's like a river rodeo.
I'm trying to get that river.
And I'm trying to spark.
And I'm just basically pushing as hard as I can,
just like squeeze, like pushing forward.
Almost like you would to try to do a duty,
but you're doing it towards the front for urine.
And I'm just pushing, man.
And I can't get that urine to fire.
I can't get that match to strike, that flint to steal.
I can't get it.
And then those dudes finished, the second guys.
So now I'm still standing here.
And you can still, like the first dudes
had already washed their hands and they left.
You know, now the second dudes are,
and I'm still there, bro.
So now I'm not even peeing.
I'm just some guy who's been holding his dick
for about two minutes.
And that's, that's crazier when you think about it.
You know, when you think about the fact that
then you're just some guy who's been holding on
to his penis for two minutes around other men.
There's nothing wrong with it,
but there's nothing right with it.
And so it just, you know, that was something I did,
you know, just, I was just got gun shy.
And I noticed that my nerves will land right there
in my crotch a lot of time in my C-roch.
You know, right down there by my baby bird,
by that spicy frog.
And that's what I'll notice.
And that started happening to me again.
So I'm a little bit worried sometimes
about how I'm dealing with anxiety.
But I think a lot of that is just,
I got to start taking some better care of myself.
And so I got into some physical fitness.
You know, because one thing is my mind
hasn't been doing super great.
Like very, you know, I've just been,
I've been in my head too much.
Well, thanks for watching that video right there.
That was a beautiful little segment, I think.
But of course I'm partisan to myself.
But you can move on to another video right now.
You can check on this video or on this video.
That's two different options.
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