Name: Joey Diaz is Fed Up with Comedy
Uploaded: 2019-01-15T20:30:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joey Diaz is Fed Up with Comedy' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joey Diaz is Fed Up with Comedy' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-15. Transcript available.

The journey of emotion.
How long have you been doing comedy for?
15.
So in those 15 years, I want you to think
where your emotions were before you went on stage
when you started, where your emotions were
when you get on stage now.
It's fucking two different fucking worlds.
Now, three months ago, I could look you both in the face
when you came to see me in Vegas,
and I'm going to tell you, motherfuckers,
I was damaged goods because it happens.
This is the human brain.
And sometimes our brain gets fucking fried
in between everything.
Not to mention the reefer, not to mention being a father,
not to mention a thousand variables.
But guess what?
Motherfucker, I'm back now.
Comedy-wise, I'm back because I got lost.
I watched John Mulaney, and I thought
I wanted to be John Mulaney, who's a great fucking comic,
great writer.
But guess what?
I'll never be John Mulaney, and I'll never be Theo Vaughn.
And guess what's even better?
Theo Vaughn will never be John Mulaney.
He'll never be Joe Diaz.
Why?
Because he's fucking Theo Vaughn.
And Joe Diaz is Joe Diaz.
And you know what?
Once I put that together, I'm brand new again.
I feel like I'm 20 fucking eight now when I go on stage.
Now, you got a fucking problem.
Last night, I ate up that main room.
The original room, I got my ass kicked.
You know what I'm saying?
You can't win every fight.
You know what I'm saying?
The main room, I fucking came out there last night.
If I would have had a Xanax at the seven-minute mark, I would have had to take
it.
Because I could feel my heart ready to jump out of my chest.
And that's what comedy is all about.
Yeah.
When you still feel that in your balls, that's what it's all about.
For months, I wasn't feeling it.
The business part got to me.
Yeah, the business part's scary.
The business part sucks dick.
The fucking numbers and this and that and the tickets.
You know what?
I don't give a fuck.
You don't want to come see me?
Don't fucking come see me.
I'm still going to do what I do on stage.
I'm going to be crazier than ever.
Crazier than ever.
I don't give a fuck about society or how fucking what you can say and what you
can't say.
That's got nothing to do with me, bro.
I'm a comic.
And I'm sick and fucking tired of what's going on.
No more safety net.
You know, I was making excuses up to you.
I'm not going to the comedy store no more because I can't work out new material.
Too bad.
Work it out at the comedy store.
Work it out.
If you bomb, you bomb.
Yeah.
That's what Mitchie Shaw intended that place to be.
But in my head, I'm like, well, they pay $25.
I can't bomb.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
I got to take a chance on a fucking tightrope.
If not, I just become a comedic robot.
And that's what I was becoming.
A comedic, scared robot.
No, man.
No.
No more.
If I'm in the middle of a bit and I think of something that happened, I'm
dropping it.
And if I forget the bit, so be it.
So be it.
I'm going where my mind takes me now.
My balls are connected to my heart.
I'm connected to my brains.
And that's it from now on.
I'm 55.
What do I got?
Five, six years left to do comedy before you're too old and ugly to get on
stage.
And people like Joey, let it go.
You know what I'm saying?
My mom will drive you to fucking gigs for the rest of your life.
I am so over comedy.
Now, like the Netflix special, all that stuff was like I shed like the snake
skin.
Yeah.
I'm like, I'm done.
There is this skin that comes in with the industry that it's like, it's not
cool for guys like us.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's not your thing.
Don't fucking tell me what to say.
Don't tell me not to fucking say.
Number two, I went, bro, and I went and I bought every piece over the year, the
last couple
of years, you know, with the podcast, we have great families that we've
developed.
Oh, yeah.
They know my love for comedy.
So people started bringing me albums, Bob Newhart albums.
Oh, wow.
And fucking Lenny Bruce live from Carnegie Hall.
And fucking, they brought me all the Richard Pryor albums.
The good one, Bicentennial Nigger.
The good one, Something I Said, or, you know, The Nigger's Crazy.
Those are raw Richard Pryor.
Wow.
And I forced myself to put them back on turntable.
Fuck, fuck videos.
Yeah.
Fuck watching fucking specials anymore.
Think about it in your head.
Put it on video.
Look how they did it.
They would do a tour and tape the bit the best way it came out.
You could hear the bit end, and then it'd start all over again.
So the albums were brilliant.
Yeah.
Why aren't we doing that?
Yeah.
Why aren't we doing that?
I don't want a special ever again.
Yeah.
Ever again do I want to shoot a special.
From now on, it's just out.
Yeah.
I want you to listen.
I want them to hear the glasses.
I want them to hear the fucking breathing.
I want them, that's what comedy is to me.
Yeah.
The specials, they forgot how to shoot them.
Oh, 100%.
They forgot how to shoot them.
A bunch of fucking...
Go look at Lenny Bruce.
Everybody tries to be avant-garde now.
They're showing you the audience.
They want to show you your fire.
Just show the stand-up from the waist to the head doing stand-up.
Yeah.
Don't show me the fucking audience.
Because I watched somebody special.
He was bombing.
The audience wasn't laughing.
Yeah.
And you could hear this laughter.
If you laugh, you go like this.
You move back and forth when you laugh.
This audience was stiffened and fucked.
Yeah.
And you could hear the laugh track.
You know, Netflix is about to drop, what, 47 new specials?
That's crazy.
That means nobody's going to get to watch them.
We're all going to be caught in a mess.
Yeah.
What are we going to do?
Well, thanks for watching that video right there.
That was a beautiful little segment, I think.
But, of course, I'm partisan to myself.
But you can move on to another video right now.
You could check on this video or on this video.
That's two different options.
And you can also subscribe to the channel.
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