Name: Whitney Cummings Discusses Being a Female Comedian with Theo Von
Uploaded: 2019-01-29T20:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Whitney Cummings Discusses Being a Female Comedian with Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Whitney Cummings Discusses Being a Female Comedian with Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-29. Transcript available.

Do you think you're intense?
Do you think, what is it that gives you intensity?
Is it like a confidence type of thing?
I think it's the opposite.
I'm pretty anxious socially, which I think a lot of people think that maybe I'm
a bitch
because I'm kind of quiet in social situations and they think I'm like judgy or
something.
Like I've had a lot of comics actually, like Sarah Tiana, like we didn't really
talk for
the first couple of years when I was at the comedy store and she's like, I
thought you
were such a bitch.
And I was like, no, I was just like scared and I'm kind of socially awkward.
And so I just keep to myself and it like seems like aloof and like, I think I'm
better than
people, but I'm really just like cripplingly nervous in social situations.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's not really my strength.
Yeah.
Cause that's what I thought.
I was like, man, this is, she's like, she's a bitch.
She's a bitch that's getting shit done.
Like, you always thought I was a bitch.
Really?
I thought you were kind of bitchy.
Yeah.
Really?
Like bitchy.
Like, not Eliza level, but I thought that you were like a couple back from
there, you
know?
Oh, okay.
Uh, I, I like, but you and I've known each other for a very long time.
Right.
But not well though.
Like we've never like been, I feel like we were cool.
Like, cause we used to do like bars together.
Yeah.
Like Westwood Brew Co.
If you guys aren't in LA, it's a place on the UCLA campus that they have a,
basically
a room that looks like Anne Frank's attic right next to a karaoke bar.
So you're screaming over like wild thing.
It's awful.
Yeah.
Wild thing.
Yeah.
It's like nine drunk girls.
And then people are like, yeah, you can hear like the Gestapo in the distance.
It's like, dude, wow.
I just, I just, then you just hear like crying, like college girls, like
fighting with their
boyfriends.
Yeah.
But I feel like, um.
A lot of Jewish girls crying too.
Totally.
Because there's a lot of Jewish girls in that area.
Yeah.
And like.
So it's really full circle there.
I feel like you and I were loose to like hang out and wait for like six hours
to go up.
That's true.
To go do like, you know, five minutes in front of four drunk people.
And maybe I was intimidated.
Maybe I was just like, kind of like, I think at more of like an intimidated
kind of time
in my life where I was just like, was maybe afraid to talk to girls as much as
socialize
or be on a comfortable level.
So in my head, I had like this other idea.
And I was scared of everybody too.
Cause I think I was insecure about, I mean, this was, there weren't that many
female comics
like when I started, like now there's like a ton, but I felt like.
It was like you, Barry Sobel.
Judy Tenuta.
Yeah.
Phyllis Diller.
No, there were only, yeah, there weren't that, there weren't as many.
So I think I thought in order to be respected by the guys, I had to like kind
of be tougher
or something or like, I never wanted to get the reputation for flirting with
comics or dating
comics.
So I think I would be like a little more aloof, you know, because that time I
was just such
a, you know, like.
Did you feel like a commodity though?
Like in a way, like, and I just mean it like this, did you feel like a
commodity?
Like in the sense that, okay, here's an attractive, cause we'll agree that you're
attractive.
Thank you.
Do you agree with that?
Back then it might've been an 8.4.
Let's see.
Before the stress, before the cortisol got to me.
I mean, we'd have to go back in time and ask people back then.
But I mean, so yeah, a strong, a funny, confident, attractive lady.
I wasn't confident.
I think I came off confident, but I definitely wasn't.
Confident maybe.
Confident, that's right.
How could we just, how could we not trademark that confident?
But like, I feel like I was confident.
But you weren't really, it just, it was a perception.
It was like armor.
You were focused though.
I was definitely focused.
Cause I want to be good.
And that was the thing that I think was, seemed intimidating.
Like I would see you, like, I remember like talking to like Jeff Ross and stuff.
And I'm like, oh man, but not in a bad way.
I was writing on the roast.
Yeah.
So maybe, and maybe people just didn't know that I was writing on the roast.
So I kind of knew him a little bit.
But you know, it's interesting.
Like, yeah, people thought I was like, you know, super, everyone's always like,
she works
so hard, but it was back then, like you had to work twice as hard to get a spot
as a girl.
And like, I felt all this pressure that like, cause there were so few female
comics that
like, I have to be funny.
Cause there's already this reputation that women are funny.
Right.
So like, I want to nail it for like all women.
Yeah.
You know, like I had, I put so much, which is now ridiculous.
Wow.
That's so Oksana Bayoula.
Is it?
Does Oksana Bayoula have a branded like choice?
No, I think, was she a gymnast?
Is she known for her?
She's a gymnast.
I think she landed it though.
And people didn't think she was gonna.
And she just stuck.
Yeah, but I feel like female ice skaters that are in the Olympics are known for
being good
at ice skating.
Okay.
I'm still thinking of gymnasts then.
What's something ice skating, but off the ice?
What is that called?
Gymnastics.
Gymnastics.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, um, yeah.
Who's somebody that just landed one, one time and they just like, that's what I'm
picturing.
You just, and then like, you know.
Like it, cause there was, when I started, it was like when a girl would go on
stage, that
was like everyone's cue to go to the bathroom.
Right.
Like I used to get, they'd be like, no, and the way that you got brought up by
then, back then
as a woman, people would be like, so are you ready for,
are you ready for a lady?
Is that true?
Yes.
Are you ready for a female comedian?
And everyone would just, you just hear like rustling and people would just get
up and go.
Some guy would die.
Totally so.
Yeah.
He'd be staying alive.
Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
He'd just drink poison.
So it was like, I just felt so totally like refund, like everyone's just trying
to get their
money back.
So I felt so much pressure to be good.
And I think for me, like, you see, I'm being too intense.
I'm on Tylenol PM.
I'm being too intense.
Yeah, I know.
But I thought, you know, back then, like, I also really wanted comics to
respect me because
I think there was this sort of stigma that I carried that, because I had done
like a couple
like VH1 shows and stuff where people thought that I got too much too fast.
So I really didn't want comics to hate me or think I was getting anything I
didn't deserve
because like comedy clubs, that's our home.
Like, you know, walking into a comedy club and having people, comics not like
you, that's
like your worst nightmare.
So I just really wanted to like earn everything I got.
Because I do think there was also, you know, there is pressure always on comedy
clubs to
be like, we have to put a woman on the lineup.
And I never wanted people to think I was getting anything I was getting because
I was a girl.
And I didn't want to get anything just because I was a girl.
But at the same time, you want to, you see, they had this like low key, high
key kind
of chip inside you that was like, you know, I want to be like Amelia Earhart in
a way.
But not, but not.
Disappear into the ocean?
No, but like, you know.
Is that what happened to her?
No, but she said, dude, imagine this, okay?
First of all, this one, women couldn't even drive that well, okay?
Imagine getting into a plane and fucking take it off and say, you're going
around the world.
Bro, I don't know what the bets were in Vegas, but every bet was on her not
fucking coming
back.
Well, wait, didn't she not come back for more?
She didn't, but still so brave to like, did you low key have like a little bit
of Amelia
Earhart?
Because you said like you wanted to kind of, you know, I mean, you had, but you
were, you
seem like you always have had some laser focus.
Because I feel like you just came in like this lightning bolt.
And the next thing you know, like you definitely seem like you're always
working hard.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
I hope so.
No doubt.
I grew up poor.
I know a lot of like, I, I didn't have any other option.
Right.
I didn't have a backup plan.
And I realized very early on that I have very few skills.
I'm, I have a very specific set of skills.
I'm Leanne Neeson.
And, uh, see, that's what Tylenol PM does.
I'm Leanne Neeson.
Like, I'm just messing up like words.
I don't say a lot.
Well, no worries.
Keep doing this in a little bit.
We're going to do an Aziz Ansari act out in case like we're at the same place
and you
have to rest, you know?
Was she on Tylenol PM?
She wasn't.
No, she's 22 and she's smarter than I am.
But being 22 is like being on Tylenol PM.
Basically the same thing.
Yeah, I mean, basically.
It's the Tylenol PM of, uh, age.
Um, but no, we, oh, we will do a thing in a little bit where when this Tylenol
PM sets
in more, where how a man should behave around a woman.
A woman who's intoxicated.
Who wants to rest.
I almost said incarcerated.
It's starting to kick in.
And make sure you get one of those right.
Because the intoxicated role play and the incarcerated role play.
Very different role.
Different orifices.
Totally different.
Yeah.
Totally different situation.
Totally different.
Different posture.
Different core engagement level.
Yeah, no, I didn't have any other options.
And like, I tried to do a couple other things.
Like, I tried to bartend.
I tried to be someone's assistant.
Um, and I just realized very quickly, like, I am just not good at anything else.
So I was like, I don't succeed at this.
Like, I don't have a backup plan.
And like, I can't marry a rich guy.
It's just not for me.
Really?
No, I just can't do that.
Because, yeah, you just seemed like an astronaut.
And then you kind of went, you know?
Yeah, but you know me.
I mean, I was doing the Comedy Store open mic for like four years.
Showing up at five o'clock.
Waiting for two hours to eat shit for three minutes.
I mean, it's funny when people are like, she like came out of nowhere.
I'm like, really?
I was doing rooster tee feathers in bowling alleys for about five years.
I guess I didn't know that.
I guess I didn't know that.
Really?
But yes, and this is just my perception, my perception.
I mean, this is just my little perception, you know?
But yeah, to me, it just always seemed like, yeah, just like a, like a, like
laser focused,
you know?
And, but I always admired it.
I mean, I, if anything, I was like, fuck, I'm going to, you know, I feel, I
feel like
also, but as a girl, like going to comedy clubs, like I'm not going to go fuck
a bunch
of dudes after, you know, it's like, you get in and you get out.
What else am I going to do?
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, that's the thing.
It always seemed like you were there for the work.
That's what it seemed like.
And I was because like, there's nothing for a female comedian in a comedy club
after 1030
when you're done with your sex.
Well, now it seems different because now you, it's like, you have all these,
like, it feels
like there's a lot of girls who, like I get texts a lot and it's like, can I
open
for you?
Can I do this?
And those kinds of things are fine.
And I want to have-
Female comics, you mean?
Right.
But sometimes it's a bit more than that, you know?
Which is like-
What do you mean?
But are like, here's what I'll say.
I think-
Can I open for you then open for you?
Like, I feel like sometimes there's that vibe there, you know?
Really?
And sometimes it's even a little bit more poignant than that, right?
But did you, did you feel like guys treated you different though?
I'll never know.
Because guys will always be a little bit, no matter what, if a girl walks up,
you know?
And she's like dying of thirst in the desert and she's like, can I have some
water?
And you're like, part of you is going to be like, can I give it to you out of
my
dick, you know?
Like, that's always going to be-
My cum is half water.
No, but I mean, not cum, but just if you could get real water out of your dick.
Okay.
But it's like, men are always going to want, or there's always a little bit of
that.
Maybe, yeah, yeah, maybe I think-
Because if you were one of the few women around, then it would be, wow.
And I was really scared of getting a reputation, because if I would like hang
out with a guy
or open for Bobby Lee or something on the road, people would be like, so you're
fucking Bobby
Lee?
And I was just like, whoa.
Like, so I think I just wanted to really distance myself from any opportunity
that people could
just assume I was sleeping with comics.
I've never dated a comic.
Right.
Ever.
You know, and then I did the roast.
What about Dahlia though?
Ever date?
Listen, I never dated.
Probably one of the best.
Does he say differently?
Huh?
Did he say differently?
No.
How weird is it though that I feel like you and Chris are starting to look like
the same
person a little bit?
That is so weird.
Sorry.
You have way nicer skin, but it's like-
I would like to think I have a better hairline and less facial hair.
Maybe, but he's just, something's going on.
Yeah.
And it could be the lighting in here too.
It does.
I do think that one time I'll PM, and I'll think I'm Chris Dahlia, so I'm close
as well.
I get that a little bit.
I can see that.
I think for me, it's also the confidence.
Because it's like a narcissistic-
For me, some of it is the confidence too.
Both you guys are confident.
I love that you think I'm confident.
That's so funny.
Chris, to me, is the most confident human being on the planet.
I can't wrap my head around that.
Me either.
I'm in therapy and a 12-step program to get his inner monologue, and I'm not
even close.
I've got like two lines.
But I don't, yeah, I'm really insecure, and maybe just when I'm quiet, I seem
like I'm
like, have it together, or people are projecting.
Right.
Because we always think that people have it more together than they really do,
right?
Yes.
And I pretend to have it together on Instagram.
We all like project this life that we don't even have.
Yeah.
You know, why am I telling you this?
Good evening, good afternoon, and other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could watch this one, or watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah!

Whitney Cummings Discusses Being a Female Comedian with Theo Von

Do you think you're intense?
Do you think, what is it that gives you intensity?
Is it like a confidence type of thing?
I think it's the opposite.
I'm pretty anxious socially, which I think a lot of people think that maybe I'm
a bitch
because I'm kind of quiet in social situations and they think I'm like judgy or
something.
Like I've had a lot of comics actually, like Sarah Tiana, like we didn't really
talk for
the first couple of years when I was at the comedy store and she's like, I
thought you
were such a bitch.
And I was like, no, I was just like scared and I'm kind of socially awkward.
And so I just keep to myself and it like seems like aloof and like, I think I'm
better than
people, but I'm really just like cripplingly nervous in social situations.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's not really my strength.
Yeah.
Cause that's what I thought.
I was like, man, this is, she's like, she's a bitch.
She's a bitch that's getting shit done.
Like, you always thought I was a bitch.
Really?
I thought you were kind of bitchy.
Yeah.
Really?
Like bitchy.
Like, not Eliza level, but I thought that you were like a couple back from
there, you
know?
Oh, okay.
Uh, I, I like, but you and I've known each other for a very long time.
Right.
But not well though.
Like we've never like been, I feel like we were cool.
Like, cause we used to do like bars together.
Yeah.
Like Westwood Brew Co.
If you guys aren't in LA, it's a place on the UCLA campus that they have a,
basically
a room that looks like Anne Frank's attic right next to a karaoke bar.
So you're screaming over like wild thing.
It's awful.
Yeah.
Wild thing.
Yeah.
It's like nine drunk girls.
And then people are like, yeah, you can hear like the Gestapo in the distance.
It's like, dude, wow.
I just, I just, then you just hear like crying, like college girls, like
fighting with their
boyfriends.
Yeah.
But I feel like, um.
A lot of Jewish girls crying too.
Totally.
Because there's a lot of Jewish girls in that area.
Yeah.
And like.
So it's really full circle there.
I feel like you and I were loose to like hang out and wait for like six hours
to go up.
That's true.
To go do like, you know, five minutes in front of four drunk people.
And maybe I was intimidated.
Maybe I was just like, kind of like, I think at more of like an intimidated
kind of time
in my life where I was just like, was maybe afraid to talk to girls as much as
socialize
or be on a comfortable level.
So in my head, I had like this other idea.
And I was scared of everybody too.
Cause I think I was insecure about, I mean, this was, there weren't that many
female comics
like when I started, like now there's like a ton, but I felt like.
It was like you, Barry Sobel.
Judy Tenuta.
Yeah.
Phyllis Diller.
No, there were only, yeah, there weren't that, there weren't as many.
So I think I thought in order to be respected by the guys, I had to like kind
of be tougher
or something or like, I never wanted to get the reputation for flirting with
comics or dating
comics.
So I think I would be like a little more aloof, you know, because that time I
was just such
a, you know, like.
Did you feel like a commodity though?
Like in a way, like, and I just mean it like this, did you feel like a
commodity?
Like in the sense that, okay, here's an attractive, cause we'll agree that you're
attractive.
Thank you.
Do you agree with that?
Back then it might've been an 8.4.
Let's see.
Before the stress, before the cortisol got to me.
I mean, we'd have to go back in time and ask people back then.
But I mean, so yeah, a strong, a funny, confident, attractive lady.
I wasn't confident.
I think I came off confident, but I definitely wasn't.
Confident maybe.
Confident, that's right.
How could we just, how could we not trademark that confident?
But like, I feel like I was confident.
But you weren't really, it just, it was a perception.
It was like armor.
You were focused though.
I was definitely focused.
Cause I want to be good.
And that was the thing that I think was, seemed intimidating.
Like I would see you, like, I remember like talking to like Jeff Ross and stuff.
And I'm like, oh man, but not in a bad way.
I was writing on the roast.
Yeah.
So maybe, and maybe people just didn't know that I was writing on the roast.
So I kind of knew him a little bit.
But you know, it's interesting.
Like, yeah, people thought I was like, you know, super, everyone's always like,
she works
so hard, but it was back then, like you had to work twice as hard to get a spot
as a girl.
And like, I felt all this pressure that like, cause there were so few female
comics that
like, I have to be funny.
Cause there's already this reputation that women are funny.
Right.
So like, I want to nail it for like all women.
Yeah.
You know, like I had, I put so much, which is now ridiculous.
Wow.
That's so Oksana Bayoula.
Is it?
Does Oksana Bayoula have a branded like choice?
No, I think, was she a gymnast?
Is she known for her?
She's a gymnast.
I think she landed it though.
And people didn't think she was gonna.
And she just stuck.
Yeah, but I feel like female ice skaters that are in the Olympics are known for
being good
at ice skating.
Okay.
I'm still thinking of gymnasts then.
What's something ice skating, but off the ice?
What is that called?
Gymnastics.
Gymnastics.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, um, yeah.
Who's somebody that just landed one, one time and they just like, that's what I'm
picturing.
You just, and then like, you know.
Like it, cause there was, when I started, it was like when a girl would go on
stage, that
was like everyone's cue to go to the bathroom.
Right.
Like I used to get, they'd be like, no, and the way that you got brought up by
then, back then
as a woman, people would be like, so are you ready for,
are you ready for a lady?
Is that true?
Yes.
Are you ready for a female comedian?
And everyone would just, you just hear like rustling and people would just get
up and go.
Some guy would die.
Totally so.
Yeah.
He'd be staying alive.
Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
He'd just drink poison.
So it was like, I just felt so totally like refund, like everyone's just trying
to get their
money back.
So I felt so much pressure to be good.
And I think for me, like, you see, I'm being too intense.
I'm on Tylenol PM.
I'm being too intense.
Yeah, I know.
But I thought, you know, back then, like, I also really wanted comics to
respect me because
I think there was this sort of stigma that I carried that, because I had done
like a couple
like VH1 shows and stuff where people thought that I got too much too fast.
So I really didn't want comics to hate me or think I was getting anything I
didn't deserve
because like comedy clubs, that's our home.
Like, you know, walking into a comedy club and having people, comics not like
you, that's
like your worst nightmare.
So I just really wanted to like earn everything I got.
Because I do think there was also, you know, there is pressure always on comedy
clubs to
be like, we have to put a woman on the lineup.
And I never wanted people to think I was getting anything I was getting because
I was a girl.
And I didn't want to get anything just because I was a girl.
But at the same time, you want to, you see, they had this like low key, high
key kind
of chip inside you that was like, you know, I want to be like Amelia Earhart in
a way.
But not, but not.
Disappear into the ocean?
No, but like, you know.
Is that what happened to her?
No, but she said, dude, imagine this, okay?
First of all, this one, women couldn't even drive that well, okay?
Imagine getting into a plane and fucking take it off and say, you're going
around the world.
Bro, I don't know what the bets were in Vegas, but every bet was on her not
fucking coming
back.
Well, wait, didn't she not come back for more?
She didn't, but still so brave to like, did you low key have like a little bit
of Amelia
Earhart?
Because you said like you wanted to kind of, you know, I mean, you had, but you
were, you
seem like you always have had some laser focus.
Because I feel like you just came in like this lightning bolt.
And the next thing you know, like you definitely seem like you're always
working hard.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
I hope so.
No doubt.
I grew up poor.
I know a lot of like, I, I didn't have any other option.
Right.
I didn't have a backup plan.
And I realized very early on that I have very few skills.
I'm, I have a very specific set of skills.
I'm Leanne Neeson.
And, uh, see, that's what Tylenol PM does.
I'm Leanne Neeson.
Like, I'm just messing up like words.
I don't say a lot.
Well, no worries.
Keep doing this in a little bit.
We're going to do an Aziz Ansari act out in case like we're at the same place
and you
have to rest, you know?
Was she on Tylenol PM?
She wasn't.
No, she's 22 and she's smarter than I am.
But being 22 is like being on Tylenol PM.
Basically the same thing.
Yeah, I mean, basically.
It's the Tylenol PM of, uh, age.
Um, but no, we, oh, we will do a thing in a little bit where when this Tylenol
PM sets
in more, where how a man should behave around a woman.
A woman who's intoxicated.
Who wants to rest.
I almost said incarcerated.
It's starting to kick in.
And make sure you get one of those right.
Because the intoxicated role play and the incarcerated role play.
Very different role.
Different orifices.
Totally different.
Yeah.
Totally different situation.
Totally different.
Different posture.
Different core engagement level.
Yeah, no, I didn't have any other options.
And like, I tried to do a couple other things.
Like, I tried to bartend.
I tried to be someone's assistant.
Um, and I just realized very quickly, like, I am just not good at anything else.
So I was like, I don't succeed at this.
Like, I don't have a backup plan.
And like, I can't marry a rich guy.
It's just not for me.
Really?
No, I just can't do that.
Because, yeah, you just seemed like an astronaut.
And then you kind of went, you know?
Yeah, but you know me.
I mean, I was doing the Comedy Store open mic for like four years.
Showing up at five o'clock.
Waiting for two hours to eat shit for three minutes.
I mean, it's funny when people are like, she like came out of nowhere.
I'm like, really?
I was doing rooster tee feathers in bowling alleys for about five years.
I guess I didn't know that.
I guess I didn't know that.
Really?
But yes, and this is just my perception, my perception.
I mean, this is just my little perception, you know?
But yeah, to me, it just always seemed like, yeah, just like a, like a, like
laser focused,
you know?
And, but I always admired it.
I mean, I, if anything, I was like, fuck, I'm going to, you know, I feel, I
feel like
also, but as a girl, like going to comedy clubs, like I'm not going to go fuck
a bunch
of dudes after, you know, it's like, you get in and you get out.
What else am I going to do?
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, that's the thing.
It always seemed like you were there for the work.
That's what it seemed like.
And I was because like, there's nothing for a female comedian in a comedy club
after 1030
when you're done with your sex.
Well, now it seems different because now you, it's like, you have all these,
like, it feels
like there's a lot of girls who, like I get texts a lot and it's like, can I
open
for you?
Can I do this?
And those kinds of things are fine.
And I want to have-
Female comics, you mean?
Right.
But sometimes it's a bit more than that, you know?
Which is like-
What do you mean?
But are like, here's what I'll say.
I think-
Can I open for you then open for you?
Like, I feel like sometimes there's that vibe there, you know?
Really?
And sometimes it's even a little bit more poignant than that, right?
But did you, did you feel like guys treated you different though?
I'll never know.
Because guys will always be a little bit, no matter what, if a girl walks up,
you know?
And she's like dying of thirst in the desert and she's like, can I have some
water?
And you're like, part of you is going to be like, can I give it to you out of
my
dick, you know?
Like, that's always g