Name: Theo Von on the Alleged Attack on Jussie Smollet
Uploaded: 2019-02-05T00:30:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von on the Alleged Attack on Jussie Smollet' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-02-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von on the Alleged Attack on Jussie Smollet' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-02-05. Transcript available.

I saw this wild news story, it was about this guy Jussie Smollett, and he was
an Empire actor who allegedly was attacked on the streets of Chicago, and it
just seems like a fake story.
And I think he's, I think this guy is black and white, actually. He is a, yeah,
he's mixed. He might be Middle Eastern. I'm not sure what ethnicity he is. I
mean, he's at least part, I would say he has a little bit of an Arabian look,
possibly, but he's either, he's like probably mixed.
But this shit just seems so fake, it's ridiculous, man. You know, he was
attacked, they can't find any video footage, they've looked apparently, and a
lot of this is alleged, they've looked at a lot of, you know, the police
departments looked at a lot of different tapes.
And just the, from different areas, he was at a subway, it was below zero, they
threw bleach on him.
They threw bleach on him, and they said that they yelled racial stuff and make
America great again stuff.
It's just, and the thing that makes me most upset about this sort of deal is,
look, I'm not surprised at anything that comes out of Hollywood.
You know, I don't believe half of these clans, I don't believe half of what I
hear out here.
But, you know, when you are, when there's already issues of race in America,
and there's already people that really are getting attacked by different ethnicities,
because of their ethnicity.
To do something like this is just too much.
And it's not fair, it just really minimizes, well, it's just, first of all, it's
taking advantage of something that's really, that's really,
it's really selfish if you are using those things to gain acclaim for yourself.
Because a lot of, you know, a lot of trial and error has gone into, into, like,
integration and segregation and racial, you know, just like, you know, America's
slowly building its way out of, you know, the tough spot that it was in from
slavery.
And, you know, when you have, you know, when you have somebody who's just kind
of, it just minimizes all the, the, I feel like the advancement, when you use
these things for your own value to try and get ahead.
Now, I think, do I think something could have happened to this guy?
Yeah.
He could have fell out, he could have fell down.
You know, I don't know how, they said he's throwing, somebody threw a liquid on
him, and it was like five, it was like five degrees or something.
So, I don't know who's running around with a liquid chasing this young guy.
It just all sounds crazy.
And they put a noose on his neck.
Dude.
I mean, I just, I mean, come on, man.
It just, at a certain point, if something seems too unbelievable, then, you
know, it's just like, that's where it lands.
And so many black, you know, DD on the news, so many black, like, YouTubers and
news people have come out and said, this is ridiculous, man, you know.
So, it's nice to see that people aren't just siding with their own race anymore.
That people are starting to say, okay, well, this seems fake on this, and this
seems fake on this, and it doesn't matter who you are.
Because that's a place where I think, you know, that's a great place to be at.
Because then we all can be moving forward.
You know, we all can be, we're all judging each other based on what's going on
right now.
And it's, I think, you know, and I feel sorry for this young man as to why he
feels like he needs to do this, if he's trying to, it just seemed too much.
And then he put out a video the other day, or somebody did, of him, he called
himself the gay Tupac.
That he fought back, and I don't know.
It just seems like somebody really taking advantage of, you know, a lot has
gone into that, man.
A lot of people have sacrificed their lives.
A lot of people have, you know, done so much to get race relations into a good
place.
And in a lot of America, they are.
The only place they're not really that great, a lot of times, is in the news.
You know, I hate the fact that the news always just focuses on, you know, just,
you know, they'll find the one, you know, idiot redneck, or, and they'll always
focus on that guy.
You know, or not redneck, but yeah, just some racist, you know, real, perved
out dude.
He's out there jerking off on little, you know, black statues in his yard or
something.
And they find that dude.
And it's like, man, that's the, there's so few of that dude left.
I wish they would sometimes focus on people who, you know, are, that they
wouldn't focus on that.
But this just seems like, I don't know, it just wasn't cool, man.
It's just not a cool thing to do.
There's other ways to increase your, you know, your visibility.
And something could have happened to this man.
I think he could have, you know, an icicle could have hit him.
Maybe a hard, you know, it was snowing, a couple hard snowflakes could have
taken this dude down.
I mean, he just copped a Subway sandwich, they said.
And I don't know if it was that meatball hitter or what it was, but, you know,
I mean, it could have been a turkey ad turkey.
Now, if he's at Jimmy John's, I could see somebody jumping his ass for a Jimmy
John, bro.
Those bitches are good.
But ain't nobody fucking beating your ass in the middle of the night randomly.
Like they tracked you there.
Nobody's tracking your ass, daddy.
Ain't nobody beating nobody's ass for a Subway sandwich.
Now, Jimmy John, boy, come out, son.
Fuck, even one of those, what's that other one, that weird one that's kind of
out now?
It's, oh, Jersey Mike's, that shit.
Tastes like your cousin fucking spit on it at the end, but, you know, and the
meat's a little wet.
But even that, I could see somebody coming at your boy for that, maybe, you
know, if they're real hungry.
But here's why I don't believe Jussie Smollett.
Because ain't nobody, nobody whooping nobody's ass in zero degree weather for a
damn Subway, bro.
You know that shit.
Ain't nobody trying to get nobody's Subway sandwich.
Now, that Jimmy John, boy, somebody running around with a turkey tom with extra
turkey, son.
I'll fucking, you know, I'll set a tripwire on the sidewalk for that, dude.
You know, I'll fucking tase somebody for a damn, you know, for a full-length
Jimmy John, boy.
I like them Jimmy Johns, you feel me?
I like that Jimmy John with them tomatoes and them fucking pickles on the lawn,
baby.
You got me.
But come on, bro.
Get right, dude.
And don't use, you know, all of, to use something that is that powerful just
for your own gain, that's just fucked up, bro.
It's real selfish.
So I think they need to investigate this guy's ego.
Ain't nobody whooping nobody's ass for a damn Subway, bud.
You know?
And the good thing is, is that this guy is multiracial, so everybody should be
ashamed of this man's behavior.
But then at the same time, we've all done shit.
So, you know, I can understand how your ego can get out of control when you can
do things.
But this is a little bit much when you're using things like that that are that
important.
Because what if somebody now goes on the street and they go attack somebody
because you did this?
They get, you know, some crazed Empire fan or something.
And I never even heard of this guy.
So, and maybe he had, maybe enough people hadn't heard of him and that's why he's
doing this in the first place.
But, it's just, it's not nice, man.
And it's selfish.
That's what I think.
Now, I could be wrong, but, you know, and fuck, I could be wrong.
And if I am wrong, man, I'm, you know, I mean, I don't know this guy and he
doesn't know me.
But if I'm wrong, then yeah, I'm sorry.
But, but it just feels real fucking fake, bro.
Nobody beat nobody's ass for a damn Subway.
Anyway, good evening, good afternoon, and other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But, the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could.
Watch this one.
Or, watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah!