Name: Riff Raff & Theo Von Talk Mullets
Uploaded: 2019-05-27T23:57:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Riff Raff & Theo Von Talk Mullets' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Riff Raff & Theo Von Talk Mullets' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-27. Transcript available.

i think we're the only mullet bearing municipals yeah marsupials yeah bro i
mean we definitely
those fucking hair bears you know we're up there yeah the hair bears we're
fucking afghanistrans
bro we got that fucking i got i got the damn florida follicle fountain back
yeah you do man
see you know i mean and we're here in riffraff gana stand bro this is your
fucking this is it
neon nightmare sports studio it's crazy we're showcasing sports dude you got
the ghost of
but next thing tony gwynn of tony gwynn outside yeah i got kirby pucket oh you
got cecil fielding out
here bro you got cecil fielder still working the big one oh yeah i got the big
unit i got randy
johnson head out back yard mulch oh yeah you got that fucking mulching mullets
you got him out there
fucking he's doing pigeons bro he's he's he's putting he's putting he's
investing in some type
of plenary now he had good hair he had a nice set backstage how do you feel
differently now that you
had the million dollar mullet because del d'antone is the only comfortable
because i i'd had like a full
head of just hair for like i'd had braids for almost like 10 years just wow i
just you know what
i mean oh yeah man you said yeah and i can still grow it out if i want to but i
keep it's just like
when it's when it's not hitting your ears and you know what i mean like the
hair getting your mouth
and starting like having this front trimmed up and then the back you know i
mean it's just a lot
easier to wash it's easier to dry it looks better people see it they know you
mean something it sounds
better yeah when it's in the wind it has a certain sound to it it's whispering
around it has a snap
snap yeah who's that you know i mean i think that's where the rice crispy those
rice crispy treat those
three i think they had mullets they made them cut them when they were getting
the photo shoot but
that's how they got that snap crackle pop oh dude i look man if you if you look
at old pictures of them
boys all three of them you know and one of them had a um was a celiac had celiac
disease was the red
head boy i think it was because one of them couldn't even eat the treats they
made oh wow and that
really i know that hurt a lot of it didn't hurt people's feelings but you know
anyway it was so him
even being able to be a part of it was really a miracle yeah but yeah they uh
they all had mullets when
they were younger that's funny you knew that yeah i've had a feeling who would
be the top 10 let's do
the top five people that should have mullets because it would change how they
fucking right now
yeah okay go ahead you go first okay first up if i had to think of a good
person that could get a
mullet because it would help him i think operate a little bit better and really
show who he is i go with
bill trill clinton damn you think he'd go back running for prez oh dude i think
he'd fucking run
through a couple more legs of puss if he fucking threw one on to be honest with
you dude because
bill man i've been through arkansas and he they said you know a lot of ladies
still know him and
remember him fondly and i think if he had a mullet it would really take it to
the next level you'd go
all white or diet i don't know i don't know if hillary would let him die i
think he'd have to go
yeah she'd probably kick him out you're back on your old shit again ain't you
yeah get out of
whole arkansas you're gonna make me look bad in front of my peers he's like you
don't have any
peers in my state then they get into it because he got that fire back in him he's
like damn i remembered
yeah matter of fact if i recall if i recall correctly you didn't even you didn't
even pick
me yeah yeah i picked you yeah you picked another man you picked that guy who
did the um
the herman cain you was fucking jocking herman cain back in the day pizza pizza
pizza you want it
you want it you really wanted billy mays yeah yeah you would pick him for four
square ball yeah
yeah yeah you wanted uh um you wanted billy ray cyrus i saw you looking at his
fucking overall
straps i saw i saw you over there while looking at his instagram stories yeah i
was over your shoulder
yeah i saw you reading fucking cornbread recipes that his mother had written
yeah yeah yeah you cared
more about him you don't even fucking care about me hillary you put you know
when you were baby you
had teddy ruxpin you put a tape in the back and it was just his voice oh just
cradling you to sleep
damn audio cradles yeah you got audio cradles from uh billy mays back there
yeah you had a teddy
ruxpin trying to sell you a fucking oxyclean yeah no one you can't get any rest
at night you know
who i think should should uh should uh film uh more movies who i think adam
sandler should grow a
mullet and really just get ripped and just showcase and shoot uh uh happy gilmore
2 yeah i could see
that boy how happy how i wonder what it would be called
happier now yeah yeah happier than ever happier now and i would like to even
see him be in a
wheelchair and jacked as fuck bro because if you here's the thing i noticed i
got a couple buddies
that was one guy got hit by lightning or fell into a hole or something and
another guy his legs never he
never had any good legs from the beginning right and so he's all jacked when
you just focus on the
upper body it's like on family guy tight lights out but this dude is so fucking
jack man it's a
different level you know but i could see that adam sandler if he had a nice mullet
what kind of good
movies would he make different ones he should he should retake over rambo
because i know they're
shooting a rambo but what if they switched up and went like rambo eight and it
was it was two rambos
it was me me and adam sands yeah when i what i see that horatio sands or horatio
sandler uh uh uh
norm mcdonald should grow a mullet and just get ripped oh yeah and he's like
yeah
and he does a colonel sanders movie but it's a documentary but it's all way off
and it's colonel
sanders is it was his twin brother yeah yeah and him and colonel sanders fight
and then he beats
colonel sanders and opens up a place called norm mcdonald's and it's a fucking
place where you go
two c's on it so they take over mcdonald's yeah so no trademark infringement
issues and you go in
there you think you're gonna get something needed it's norm mcdonald in there
with a fucking just
with a hatchet or just fucking you up man cranking cords dude how much i can't
believe nobody's funding
this shit we got i don't sound like i could do it you know i can't nobody i can't
believe we can't
fund these ideas all right so you got it we got bill clinton we got adam sandler
but dude i heard
they're making tran bow it's like a trans uh transgender um bowflex oh for real
yeah yeah
bowflex that makes you a bowflex that makes your dick wet yeah bowflex sent me
a free bowflex are you
serious it's in the backyard oh wow i'm serious i thought i thought uh you know
my friend of mine
his sister hooked up with uh tony little from tony little gazelle freestyler uh
from the commercials
yep who's who's sister long time ago my friend darren um you don't know him he
he used to live by
by me when i was younger um dude you know i got a blow job from uh
jared from subway's sister a long time ago in a french quarter damn
okay so we got bill clinton adam sandler
i think i think it's somebody good i think ricky lake should come back
with her own show and she's just she's mullet out and she's like listen
i'm gonna tell y'all what's cool what's not cool y'all are just y'all ain't it
yeah this is what's this is what's going on
yeah this is cool and she just does a whole show on this is cool this ain't yes
and she just airs everybody out
puts it all out she's like listen because she's mixed first of all so she could
talk about anybody
talk shit about everybody and then she got
yeah and then she have the side slashes too she does she should that thicky
lake they used to call her
because she got thick for a while and she just she's just in there with the mullet
and she's just sitting there and she's dancing and everything but not regular
like ellen dances like just grooving and it's easy going now she's really she's
out there getting it
and she's and she's telling everybody now this is this is where it's at
yeah yeah y'all need to quit fucking driving this uh this toyota camry ain't it
listen these super old hatchbacks fucking hatch whack bruh what you need is to
get that four festiva
and put some fucking 38s on it damn uh uh uh what the hell were them things
called suzuki troopers
yeah the little jeeps yeah that's a suzuki trooper dude and you gotta get a
real asian to drive
you're like damn this thing doubles as a fucking light coat yeah you wear that
damn that click click
that let them one of them snaps flow click click click click click yeah dude oh
if it got cold out
man you gotta zip it up turn the heat on leave it leave the car running about
30 minutes let it heat up
hey take the key go ride around the block couple times leave the heat cranking
dude it was it was
like a windbreaker sometimes you find something in the pockets of the doors it
was like a pocket it was
like a stretching yeah you find your old credit card in there or a stick of gum
and it's just a silly
straw yeah twisty one that's somebody been chewing on with a with a little kermit
the frog on the top
i got the i got the green one man yeah ricky lake would be really good if she
grew her hair out she
needs to do that because more people will respect her too i think she needs to
make a comeback
most are coming back oh dude most are coming back i see on you i do like barstool
sports they
anytime somebody gets a mullet they post it anytime and do you feel like people
i notice a lot of people
come to me with it but in you know in other countries and i know you know uh in
other countries
this is just a hockey haircut or it's a in some countries in amsterdam this is
a woman's haircut
this is predominantly a young woman and a lot of times if it's a young white
girl that dates a lot
of brothers they'll have this hair you know jewelry is jewelry but diamonds are
diamonds yeah you know
i mean a lot of people can mistake something for one thing just because oh cars
are cars but
lamborghini is a lamborghini yeah and i i've talked about that before it's like
but when you have
the mullet and you and you're doing it the million dollar mullet that's a whole
other you know
that's a whole other station for that hair that's a whole other that's a whole
other station
verification and it looks strong it looks like the back is on creatine yeah i
mean i mean i i hate
to i mean i'll take this out and i'll throw it back on my damn yeah i'd love to
see a little more
you know this isn't this isn't no people ask if i have a zipper on it yeah let's
do it that ain't
no sipping tea huh my real deal steve mcdaniel
dude that's like that fucking jim mcmahon huh remember him who was the guy that
played uh
brian bosworth brian bosworth man you know yeah the xavier mcdaniels
with the pant with the backpan handle yeah man that's that yeah that's that
really that's that
fucking uh that's that raponzo man damn i soaked this sweatband up that's that
bro ponzo