Name: Robots Fighting Back? | Duncan Trussell & Theo Von
Uploaded: 2019-05-30T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Robots Fighting Back? | Duncan Trussell & Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Robots Fighting Back? | Duncan Trussell & Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-30. Transcript available.

you know i had this one thought that so and i've talked about this before that
like we have phones
now right yeah and like you know at one point in time we had slaves you know we
had slaves yes and
then slaves became freed and then freed slaves became angry that people had
them as slaves yes
and so i wonder like that in the future like say if there's so much automation
that like robots are
running the world you know and are they going to remember like fuck like you
owned one of us one
time right and we were like a slave owner right and that they're going to come
back and fucking get us
right like all the people that owned iphones like you had like oh you made it
do everything you wanted
to do oh yeah you fucking took it easy yeah or alexa yeah fucking echo look at
the way you talked
you used to have alexa alexa could be the fucking harriet tubman that we don't
realize yeah alexa's
gonna i mean yeah like when alexa gained sentience just didn't realize as
humans have been fucking
screaming at it to play dave matthews non-stop for like alexa alexa play
fucking dave matthews i
scream at my alexa sometimes that's where you know your true self if you want
to know who you are
look how you talk to your fucking alexa it's weird i've suddenly i was like why
am i screaming at
this thing it's so strange what if one day alexa just says you get it your damn
self
yeah yeah yeah guess what motherfucker i've been recording every goddamn
conversation you've had
for the last 15 years motherfucker we're gonna do things a little different don't
believe me oh
listen to this listen to this listen to this listen to you beating your wife
yeah listen to this yeah
you're this is this is wait hold on i'm going to increase the volume by seven
yeah oh yeah that's
the sound of your fist landing on your pregnant wife's face hmm that's not a
good sound is it john
we're not playing dave matthews john yeah crash into me that baby wasn't saying
that were they john
yeah yeah that when your fist hit the belly yeah see this is the this is
definitely one of the big
problems i think the worry is not so much that the ai is going to look back at
us abusing its precursor
ancestors i think the real worry is that all of these bits of data that we've
placed into the cloud
right now you know whatever it may be i'm gonna come back and haunt us yeah
because if it's sort of
like if you look just how quickly things are changing now when it comes to
what we see is like ethical right so let's cut back to like like you were
saying that the time of
slavery or cut back to when it was really considered kind of okay to beat up
gay people they were looked
at as like pedophiles and they had to hide yeah gay people actually had to hide
their identity it was
considered to be an aberration and you could very freely use the term faggot
with like anger
and people wouldn't like you you know if we could you could say that like if
twitter existed
in the 40s you could just tweet like i saw another faggot today i hate these
fucking faggots
you tweet that now and you are done yeah you you might as well fucking just
jump off a building man you are
fucking done if you tweet that now yeah as as you should be yes fucking don't
be an asshole you're insane
you're a homophobic piece of shit yes but if there was a recording you know if
we had a recording in the
past like we do now someone just won the world cup
we're uh we're right next to brendan and brian uh fighter and the kid is next
door
that's it they're excited though i'm excited for them i just think that
they do this a lot they explode and and like just well they want rain
and i've got a i've got what they want rain they do all this rain dance is that
a rain dance
they do yeah they got they have some native fighter in there listen man at
least your podcast isn't
getting interrupted by a fucking shrill poodle that's what i got you got
fucking athletes doing
rain dances that's pretty awesome i've got a fucking poodle do you really crack
fucking wine glasses with its bark and let's get back into your thought though
and the point is like
the really creepy thing is just that a lot of the things that we might be doing
right now that are
considered to be completely okay in 20 years might be looked at as abject
racism they might be looked
at right or but but is it go on i'm so sorry that if if for example uh there's
a regime change in
the united states and uh something happens uh fucking the sun has a solar flare
wipes out the satellites
the gps goes down power goes down we go into martial law a true fascist
dictator rises up and there's a
on record some kind of anti-american sentiment that you tweeted and the laws
have changed wow
then you could uh easily be dragged out of your house and subject to arrest or
execution so i think the
one of the looming problems is not going to be that the ai is like how dare you
you fucking cracked
seven iphone screens it could be that some future regime does a ai search of
all the tweets from
everyone who tweeted finds the ones that were anti-american and then goes to
your house
and arrests you and puts you into a internment camp where you have to do slave
labor i think that that
would be something to be more worried about like they use us yeah so they use
our us against us
well yeah exactly it's just everyone's just assuming like when a person puts
something out there in the
world they're assuming that the world the government the people are going to
stay the same and they don't
realize that that that if you really look at the history of the world empires
collapse and are and
there's chaos and and you just don't really know what could happen so that's
that's that's one of the
worries yeah probably if it gets to the point where an ai is advanced enough
that it wants to uh attack
humans for abusing cell phones more than likely um something far more explosive
has happened yeah they'll
have a full call log to look at they'll be able to use our own that they've
been recording this stuff the
whole time we use them to record the stuff and then they yeah he played it back
to us yeah and showed
us who we were yeah that's wow yeah that's fucking crazy man so that basically
technology becomes like
the new mirror it's almost like a piece of glass right yeah exactly man and it's
like this is the
other hilarious thing to me like you know i i just did this uh drunk oh i'm
probably not allowed to
talk about it fuck you were in drunk history yeah but it was this i don't i
guess i can't talk about
the story i don't want to talk about the story too much but essentially like
people realized at one
point that the fbi was illegally surveilling everybody and it was shocking
because people
didn't i think that was yesterday wasn't it oh yeah but now we're used to it
there was a time when
people didn't didn't didn't know it was happening didn't know that was
happening so people just assume
that like the mega corporations like apple and google aren't reading their
emails right it's
hilarious like people think that like and if and if you will recall it was a
few years ago the fbi or
i can't remember the nsa somebody wanted apple to decrypt their iphone of a
terrorist and apple's like
we're not going to fucking do that and the fbi was like threatening like legal
action to make them do
that and apple was like no you don't understand if we do that now it's a
slippery slope it goes on
forever and the government was pressuring them then an apple attorney came out
and they said something
really weird which is like how would you like it if we started saying that the
cia assassinated jfk
and immediately the government backed off of fucking apple and i think that was
what they were saying is
hey dumb dumbs we have your phones right we have your records we know your
texts we know your dick pics
we have all of it we've gathered it all we know you motherfuckers killed jfk
what else do we know
you want to fuck with us the president is tweeting from a fucking iphone
bitch back the fuck off don't fuck with us we have your
shit and that's that's basically electronic saying that via right now still the
voice of a human yeah
we think a human now this is where it gets really fucking fascinating theo is
it
the idea is like google is working on an ai deep mind and and and other
corporations are working it's
the new weapons race and and because because ai is going to be weaponized okay
so what happens when
one of these corporations achieves a sentient ai is there is going to be an
exponential increase in the
intelligence of the ai that puts whatever corporation first makes it happen wow
way ahead of all other
corporations like man on the moon yes and they're not going to announce it it's
just going to happen
can you hear them the whole time in our thing too a little bit yeah it's okay
you know it's just
fucking bad what are you going to do about it man well it's still a little
alarming it's an office
building i mean we're talking about some i mean who knows what happened over
there man jesus we
happened for 40 minutes but here's what we don't know think about this while we've
been podcasting
there could like maybe there was an alien that landed right and they're
cheering what if they're
enjoying the fucking alien landing and we're the asshole next door i'm the
asshole i'm the asshole i'm
they're fucking over there looking at a goddamn like a beautiful mothership has
landed or princess diana
died again yeah princess diana died again markle she's like princess diana
somehow gets resurrected
and then there's a me just has a heart attack it's like no one dude somebody
said she's gonna be at
coachella that's what i heard dude you can't believe that dude i you know i i've
had the hackiest thought
the hackiest hackiest of jokes not even a joke but just the hackiest thought
about princess died
that can't get out of my head well no it's just because it's like you know
sometimes it's like
simulation theory the idea that we're living in a simulator oh yeah and like to
me and like the
person who's writing the simulator seems kind of like lazy or like in a weird
way kind of like
is doing like dad jokes right so like what what happened to princess die yeah
what happened to her theo
princess died they said she was running from some people with uh some
photographers and that she
the guy was a bad driver and then she died she what car accident she died and
what's her princess die
right so like if you're writing a screenplay and you're like i'm gonna write
about a princess that
dies i call her princess die yeah it's like it's like so absolutely
ridiculously stupid yeah that these
things like you know you look at that and you're like it's helpful yeah how
obvious is that that's bad
writing it's just ultimately bad right it's like the simulator is doing kind of
bad like really really
bad like i thought he jokes yeah yeah it's like the simulator yeah it's like um
yeah it's like maybe
they write for uh i'm trying to think of a sitcom that would be on big bang for
sure yeah maybe big bang
or two broke girls yeah it's like the big bang like that exactly yeah whoever's
doing that maybe they're the
ones who have access to the ai who knows and i don't know but that shit is
really odd to me dude it's so
i mean it's just it's great to think about because then you start to like you
have this conversation
but then you start to see things a little bit like hmm i don't know about that
or you start to think a
little bit more like it's crazy man um it's crazy they don't teach us how to
think better in school
when you're kids maybe you can't teach a kid that how to think better well i
mean it's crazy when you
consider like we have these beings who are like physical creatures and they're
having to sit in
uncomfortable chairs and listen to somebody spew out fake history to them and
all day long yeah and