Name: Gary Owen Threw Thai Noodles at His Cambodian Opener
Uploaded: 2019-07-01T19:55:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gary Owen Threw Thai Noodles at His Cambodian Opener' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gary Owen Threw Thai Noodles at His Cambodian Opener' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-01. Transcript available.

I think people gravitate to podcasts because you are unfiltered, you know?
Like I did, on mine last week, I talked about an argument I had backstage with
my opener.
Really?
And it was a legit, I was throwing food at him.
I was so pissed because he yelled at me.
It wasn't about the food.
It was like, did you just yell at me?
What did you throw at him?
I got to know that.
Fried rice and egg rolls.
Oh my God.
And he was Asian.
So he's Cambodian.
Wait, wait, let me tell you what happened.
And Cambodian, let's be honest, dude.
It's Asian, bro, but it's also a little something else, okay?
They're being wild out there.
It's the other of Asian, you know?
Even Asian people are like, oh, I'm not going out there, you know?
It is Waysian, bro.
It's past Asian, bro.
You're out there, dude.
Well, here's what happened.
Because I want to hear about this, man, because people often say that you're
hard to deal with.
So I want to hear what happened.
I want to hear about this.
Yeah, Brian Kellen.
We talked about that.
I was talking to your guys before I got on here.
I go, dude, I go, you know, the internet's notorious for anybody that says
anything good about you, you don't hear shit.
Did they say something bad?
I get DMs and Twitter tags and everything.
And the Brian Kellen, Brendan Shaw, when they, when I, oh, my wife got profiled
on Delta.
And they brought it up.
And they go, and Brian goes, yeah, I heard that guy's hard to deal with.
I was like, what?
So I watched it.
And it really was, Brian even said, he goes, I don't know why I said that.
I shouldn't have said that.
But they call you the, dude, they call you the pink Chris Tucker.
That's what I hear all the time.
The pink Chris Tucker?
I thought I was the white Karl Malone.
I'm like the only one.
He was the only black guy with a John Deere deal.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm the only black guy at the barbershop.
I'm the only white guy at the barbershop where my picture's on the haircut.
If you're a white guy, you want that Gary Owen right there.
On the poster?
It's all black guys and me.
No, let me tell you what happened in Dallas.
I want to hear about this.
I'm not hard to deal with.
But it's not about the food that I threw.
It was that he yelled at me is what made me throw the food.
Because before I went on stage, you know, comedy club food isn't the best.
Right.
I'm over 40 and trying to eat good.
So I literally just told him, I said, go anywhere.
Just get some brown rice and tariaki chicken.
That's anywhere.
Right.
So they couldn't find it.
The place that they said they were going to order it from, they couldn't get it.
So I get off stage.
So, you know, you're hot.
You got three shows at night.
You just want to eat.
You're like, okay, get your pallets ready for some.
And they ordered Thai food.
And I was like, I don't, you guys know me.
I don't like Thai food.
So automatic, I'm like, why would you order Thai food?
Yeah.
Of anything?
You could have got me a salad, right?
So then I open it.
The vegetables looked all dry.
It just looked bad.
All the food looked like, I was like, so now I'm not happy.
The only thing that looked good, and you know, Asian food comes into big
containers,
was this big container of noodles and veggies and chicken.
I go, that looks good.
So I take the fork, and the comedy club brought us plates.
So I take the fork, and I'm taking some noodles and put it on a plate.
And I was going to take some other stuff, too, and just make a plate of little
samples of everything.
So I'm in a container.
My opener comes in and say, he goes, hey, those are mine.
Those are mine.
Those are mine.
I said, okay.
I was like, I'm just going to take a little bit.
Is that okay?
And he was like, oh, yeah, that's fine.
Okay.
So I take the noodles.
And then he takes it, and it's a big container, and he puts his fork in it
immediately and starts
eating it.
So we still got two other people in the green room that's got to eat.
And I looked at him.
I said, say, you know you're being selfish, right?
Like, you should have.
I'm thinking in my brain, you should have offered something to the other people
in the
room.
Right.
And he goes, huh?
I go, you know you're being selfish, right?
And he just went from zero to 10.
He goes, I'm not being selfish.
And it was when he yelled at me, I went, what?
It was like in a movie, and I just grabbed the nearest thing.
I saw it.
It's this container of fried rice.
I go, get the fuck out.
That's awesome.
And as he's leaving the room, I'm throwing one egg roll at a time.
I go, get the fuck out.
Oh, yeah, bro.
So he gets out.
That's like the Laotian Olympics.
Right.
Yeah, bro.
Then he comes back in, and he yells again.
He's like, I was just trying to.
And there's one more egg roll.
I said, get the fuck out.
He gets out, right?
So then I calm down.
I go, I probably overacted, right?
And then my road manager, Brad, he explains it.
He just broke it down.
He goes, man.
He's got a real life voice.
Man, I just think you was hot, and you was hungry, and the food wasn't there
that you
wanted.
And in Say's mind, those were his noodles.
Yeah.
So you was eating his noodles.
I go, yeah, you're probably right.
Probably overreacted.
I said, but he just yelled at me, man.
Actually, I could have had a discussion about it.
It was him yelling that set me off.
And then we're laughing about an hour later.
But I talked about it on my podcast, right, last week.
And I'm telling people a story.
At no point did I say I was right or wrong.
I was just telling a story.
But some people were like, you know, you was wrong, Gary.
Or some people was like, I'm looking at you different.
You're like a diva.
Those were his noodles.
The funny part is, that's the part.
The word noodles makes it funny.
We got an argument over some noodles.
The other two people that had to eat were Brian Callen and Brendan Chopp.
So that's why he was upset.
But here's the funny shit about the whole thing.
I didn't throw my plate of food.
I had already made mine.
Say had his noodles in his hand.
The only person I didn't get to eat was Brad.
The road manager who had nothing to do with Archie, man.
He goes, man, I ain't getting none to eat.
You got to say no to food.
You was hot and you was hungry.
Yeah, he just broke it down.
Here's what I think happened.
You was hot.
You didn't get the food you wanted.
Those were his noodles.
I was like, oh, yeah, yeah.
Dude, that is the worst.
Because sometimes you'll have a long day of traveling.
You don't have a chance to eat anything.
You'll get up early.
The layover is really fast.
It'll be 30 minutes.
You have to get to your gate.
Then next thing you know, you've had a coffee and a muffin or something and a
banana.
You finally get to the place.
You maybe have a snack or something before you go on stage.
Then you have to do the first show.
You get off.
You want to eat.
That's your time to finally get something to eat.
Right.
Your palate's ready for something.
Yeah.
That's not like an extravagant dish.
No.
Brown rice and teriyaki chicken, you should be able to get that somewhere.
Yeah, you should be able to get it, man.
Especially if he's Cambodian, dude.
You can't come up with a little teriyaki chicken, papa.
Motherfucker.
You the Cambodian, dude.
Call somebody.
Yeah, if I ask you for fucking donuts or something, you know, and you don't
know how to come up
with a couple, or I ask you for, you know, a couple of Cornish game hens or
something.
It's like asking me, you know, where can I get some quiche?
Yeah.
You know?
Tuna casserole.
I can make you that.