Name: Theo Von Loves Relish
Uploaded: 2019-07-10T03:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Loves Relish' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Loves Relish' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-10. Transcript available.

You know, I love relish.
There's always that odd jar of that condiment, that odd condiment that's
sitting off to the side.
That green.
Some people don't even know what relish is.
Some people see a thing of relish and like, damn, what is it?
It looks like a salad maybe had a heart attack or got electrocuted.
And that's relish.
And relish is, you know, it's everything kind of.
It's almost like being in love when you're young.
It's romantic and it's sweet and it's spicy.
And relish is like kind of soft and it's wet, but it's, you know, trying to
hold itself together.
And it doesn't know what it is sometimes.
Is it a vegetable?
Is it a sauce?
Is it a, you know, what is it?
And you can see relish sometimes.
You can almost envision the bottle or the little jar.
You know, relish comes in a little jar, a little glass cage, really.
And you can almost, if you think about relish, you could see it just one.
You could see it maybe at a therapist's office sitting on a couch, just kind of
wondering what it is.
Because the other condiments, the other, they're very clear.
It's ketchup.
You know, this is tomatoes and this is a specific sauce.
And that mustard, boy, you hit that, you know, you see a man, a strong man just.
But then you got relish.
It's got a spoon out of it sometimes.
Coming out the jar, the lid is missing.
You're like, where's the lid?
Who, who gonna, you know, how are they gonna contain this relish if they need
to?
And that's sometimes what I feel like, you know, I feel like, sometimes I just
feel like relish, man.
I just feel like that, like this strange condiment that, that's just kind of
out in the world.
I feel like, man, you know, everybody else is kind of ketchup and mustard and I'm
not.
Or everybody else is cheese or everybody else is this or that.
And I'm not.
And relish doesn't get the same accolades as some of these other, you know,
some of these condiments have better public relations.
They have better advertising and all of that.
You know, that mustard, baby, you get a, that strong yellow, that stripe, that
shit that makes you.
You know, a baby can't handle it.
Dude, you put about an 11th of an ounce of mustard into a baby's mouth, son.
They'll grow up fast and against their will.
They do not like it.
You know, it's, it's not for a child of mustard, but that relish, baby, that's
what, that's what, that's, that's the condiment that really relates to me is
relish.
You know, it's off to the side.
It's got a spoon in it.
People don't know what it is.
It looks like a salad.
Maybe they got in a fight with, you know, with something.
It looks like somebody just, you know, it looked like maybe a gardener just had
his sinuses rinsed out.
You know, somebody, you know, hit a neppy pot into a gardener and just rinsed
him out.
And it has that kind of vibe to it.
You're like, damn, what happened here?
Looked like Mr. McGregor just cleared his throat.
But that relish, you don't know what it is.
Is it a salad?
Is it a sauce?
Is it sweet?
Is it spicy?
Is it sweet?
Is it spicy?
That's my riffraff impersonation.
You don't know what it is, that relish.
It's off to the side.
Sometimes it has a spoon in it.
Sometimes it has nothing.
It doesn't even have a lid on the jar.
You just don't know what it is.
It's kind of like Mother Nature made like a dirty frosting.
And, you know, and I can relate to that relish, man.
That's how I feel sometimes.
I just feel like this little side item.
You know, I'm not one of these main events.
I'm not that ketchup.
I'm not that mustard, man.
I feel like just more of a relish sometimes.
What's up, Kenny, from that ATL?
Them atlians, boy.
Let's get it.
And I was listening to your podcast, your most recent podcast, about relish.
And I had a...
You're talking about relish, yeah.
Idea, or maybe it was an epiphany.
I was thinking, is relish just a cake pickle?
So, you know, is it that homoerotic bad boy?
It's a good question.
Is relish just a gay pickle?
And you might be on to something.
You know, Epiphany Kenny out here just throwing those thought javelins at us,
and they're hitting us.
You might be on to something.
Is relish a gay pickle?
Relish is something...
It definitely seems like, you know, it's almost like a salad said, fuck it, let's
be jello.
So there's definitely something going on there.
I think it would test positive for some different types of stuff.
You know, so I think there's something in the water right there.
You got a good idea there, Epiphany Kenny.
Wow, you know what's crazy is my sister can't even read.
But what does it have to do with us right now?
Hope you enjoyed that video, and you can watch another.
And you can watch this one, you can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option, not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.