Name: Theo Von Reflects on Dustin Poirier - Khabib Nurmagomedov Fight
Uploaded: 2019-09-10T20:27:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Reflects on Dustin Poirier - Khabib Nurmagomedov Fight' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-09-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Reflects on Dustin Poirier - Khabib Nurmagomedov Fight' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-09-10. Transcript available.

oh i don't know i didn't want i'm upset about the fight so people saw the fight
i'm not upset i mean
i'm man i dude i was just god dude i wanted you just that nobody could beat
that man khabib
it's not he's not it's like fighting lava it's like fighting like it's almost
like khabib is
like one of those blankets you see on the internet where it's like oh you need
this heavy this heavy
blanket oh you can't sleep here here's this heavy blanket for for 140 you can
get this 30 pound
blanket bitch that ain't a blanket that is a trap that is a trap dude somebody
right now people are
like oh yeah they've been they got the new blanket and they've been asleep for
a month yeah the baby's
been resting for two weeks the baby can't get out the bed because he's under a
dang 30 pound blanket
and that's i just felt like i don't know man let's let's take a couple of calls
about it uh some people
came in and you guys know that we're cheering for dustin the diamond poirier
and he's that rare
element i mean he should be on the periodic table and uh and i think one day he
may be let's get into
a couple of calls that came in on the hotline as always the hotline is 985-664-9503
gang gang what up co i'm just sitting here heartbroken i wonder how you're
feeling right now
dustin poirier just took that loss what are you feeling let us know man
man and i tell you this we got so many calls expressing uh just people sharing
their moods
during the fight and what was going on um
what my thoughts uh i mean the fight itself i thought
look first of all i don't know anything about fighting okay i'm not gonna
pretend like i do
i don't know you know i think dustin is a very neat person and i think he's
very dynamic as a human
um and so i want to see him do well at whatever he's doing you know like my
investment uh personally
is in him as a human he happens to be a fighter he's any and a great fighter um
i just think
you know like kabib or kabib or however is uh he's like kind of like a to me it's
not fight i i i
think i i it would be neat if they had to be on their feet for half the round
and they could then
the rest there's only a certain amount of time they could be on the ground now
i'm not and uh
and i told brendan schaub that and he goes well that's not the sport and and
that you may be right
but for me as a viewer i'd like to see a little bit because i want to see both
of them be able to do
some of the stuff that i really you know that i like to watch them do i like to
i like to see the
action at different levels um so you know that shit kind of bum me out because
kabib is fucking
boring the shit is boring dude it's like watching somebody lose their house to
some lava takes you
know 19 minutes or whatever and it's fucking boring so yeah i'm gonna go watch
lava dude get on the
internet they got a bunch of lava uh flows dude i used to watch flows man you
could you could be on a
three-hour youtube of a flow bruh and it finally fucking kills a sapling
outside of kawaii you're
like oh shit man it was three hours of my life thankfully i had a little bit of
cocaine you feel
me boy that'll make the lava speed up a little bit uh but that it was like yeah
it was like watching
some i mean it just i don't know and no disrespect the guy's great at uh at
what he does just to me
it's fucking boring to me it's boring you know i'm a dude i you know i watch
what i watch and i and i like
to consume things how i like and to me the shit was boring and i just you know
i i was just bummed man
i mean i was really bummed out and there's people uh you know at the bar
yelling shit and
and um and i watched it with nick and johnny you know the premature and the twink
man you know our
crew we watched it together as a team and and we were i mean the first the the
venue looked like a
like a damn no air conditioning you're like where are these guys in a tent out
back and i'm not saying
that they just when i was watching the on the on the fight pass they got this
accoutrement you can buy
and you get that you know special deal on the internet and you can watch it and
it looked like
they were in a damn fema tent or something out back uh so but hey you supposed
to you know they can
fight wherever it just the the the live stream or whatever they had was going
was it was a lot of it
was very boring the atmosphere seemed kind of mild um and what else uh but yeah
i mean i was definitely
bummed i was bummed for i was bummed for him you know i wanted him to be able
to win i know how much
he really wanted to win and it was very evident when you watch his you know his
interviews afterwards
and stuff and um and let's get a little bit we got this call i'll i'll share a
little bit more
on my thoughts we got this call that came in a perspective from the arena here
we go hey theo
what's going on this is ali in dubai hey ali thank you for calling man and uh
and uh and thank you guys
for hosting that event it seemed like and even dustin said it was just an
amazing event and if you watch
on um on dustin's story on his instagram story they have the dudes eating gold
meat and they're doing
all kind of crazy stuff over there so really uh seeing his experience over
there is is pretty cool
just to see a guy from just a small place in louisiana to get to go on that
adventure
um that's a small victory right there let's hear more ali i just thought i'd
call in and give you
some perspective on uh how things went inside the arena last night since you
weren't able to make it
um so yeah it was hot in there that's the first thing and there was about a
hundred thousand russians
wow and dude if i see two russians at a gas station i'm i'm driving off usually
because those guys dude
they'll drink dude they'll sit there they'll pour they'll have they'll be
mixing use they use diesel as
a mixer so you'll see a guy with an orange juice and uh you know and 96 petrol
you know they're
dieseling up you'll see a guy at the exxon fucking making a picture of mixed
drinks those are some
there's some tough guys let's hear more that's what it felt like so your boy
dustin was definitely
in some hostile territory and they were amped up all night every fight seemed
like it had a russian
guy in it just different sizes you know one guy's like 300 pounds one guy's
like 100 pounds but they
all look kind of the same yeah i felt like they kept taking one guy in the back
and then pulling
air you know stuffing fat in them or pulling air out them or putting muscle in
them or just
like they were back there frankensteining you know they got a table they got 19
things they got a
beard sideburns no beard you know more fat more muscle here's some sternum boom
boom boom send them
back out same guy more uh and the crowd was getting amped up there was about
three more fights just in our
section so it was a crazy environment uh and obviously he didn't get the result
he wanted but i just
started you know give you a perspective from in there he definitely you know he
didn't win the
fight but he definitely won a lot of people over and he got a lot of respect
from the people in the
crowd and i think people all over the world now know who he is and what he
stands for and that's
something that he can take with him for the rest of his life you know there
might be
championship belts come and go but that respect he has and you know kind of
putting louisiana on
the map too uh he can hold his head high for that so anyway all right bye thank
you y'all i really
appreciate that you know i love that on the ground that just that lie you know
thank you bruh that's
really kind of you to share what that experience was like from there you know i
really you know um
and and and and and just the fact that yeah you're right he can hold his head
up high
that's something that yeah like uh i i was bummed that you know i was
definitely upset that that he
came in second place i don't see how anybody beats khabib it's kind of like
when michael jordan played
you just but still it just because you didn't beat michael jordan doesn't mean
you're not dominique
wilkins you know i mean dustin is still beat every he's if it's anybody else if
it's any other time
existence in the universe you know he's he he got half the belt you know he got
the belt when it
wasn't available it could be he was he's he's the pinnacle there's just there's
this other pinnacle
that's floating off in the distance that that's its own it's on its own
frequency and that is uh
and that's khabib um but i uh yeah i think something about dustin is i i feel
like he did he probably
doesn't even realize and he may man this is i'm probably i don't know if i'm
being judgmental here
or or hopeful i feel like over his tenure has run uh you know especially in the
past year
that through through fighting and through ufc he has shown who he is as a
person
um and a lot a lot of people even if they have a great vehicle in their life
that allows them to
achieve dreams or goals aspirations rarely does also who they are which is the
bigger victory
of them being just a just a you know a good person of them fighting the good
fight i mean that's what
his foundation is called but yeah fighting the good fight i think a lot of
people realized oh i'm a fan
of this guy because of who he is yes he's a fighter but but he's i think he's
like a hero to a lot of
people and i know it's a kind of a wild word but um yeah i mean i guess he he's
definitely an inspiration
and so i think yeah it's like i just hope that he sees i think that he kind of
transcended the sport
a little bit um in the sense that he has gotten that people see him as a
as a communicator and as a uh interpreter uh for good in the world and that you
know uh
uh i don't know i i just
you know some uh few athletes get to do that few people in their in their
genres of of of entertainment
or of competition get to do that where you also see their heart you see who
they are and then that
becomes like i could see dustin being a mayor or a governor even like i think
he just has this
you know he has this
relentless drive that is going to bring him success in anything he does
um but i'll just uh you know you know i don't know here i am like fuck dude i
sound like i don't even
know um
you know i just think he's in a he's such an inspiration to a lot of people and
yeah he'll have the he had the belt he'll have the belt you know he'll he might
get different belts
but i think he's in this bigger competition i think where people see oh that
guy
you know a lot of fighters they come and go but this guy can stay forever if he
wants to as a leader
of people and um and i just hope he sees that i hope he sees but i hope he i
hope he sees what we
can all see that he's in this bigger competition of of uh of inspiring people
that um and of kind of
like of competing on a higher level of a human level that i think uh that we
all want to be in
the ring you know uh we all want to be in that ring i don't know if that makes
sense but
anyhow man um but thanks for that man that's really nice you to send in that
perspective and
just to have us to get an idea of what it was like in there yeah i can't
imagine being in there
uh but i thought it was great man it was fun to watch him get out there and
perform it was fun to
watch him to me it all seemed like a performance too but it was very fun to see
the excitement in
there and people just you know all the crazy beards and everybody looking like
they got pubic hair on
them everybody's cheeks look like a set of nuts up in there and they got a damn
you know everybody's
wrapped up in the turbans what were the concessions like that's what i i would
love to know that what
the concessions were like in there like at the concession stand like do they
have a pepsi do they
have a dynamite what do you know what are they what's for sale yeah i think
dustin poirier fights uh
you know when i was young i've said this before i think but i couldn't you know
i never i was afraid
to defend myself nobody taught me how to defend myself and my brother you know
who is uh i mean
he's real he's really a lighthouse in my life now but um but we didn't have any
you know we couldn't
we didn't have that we didn't have the ability to defend ourselves we didn't
even have the confidence
to defend to try and defend ourselves you know and we grew up in a place and it
was a little scary and um
um and it made things tough uh but the thing that gets me i think that
i feel like dustin poirier fought fights for people that can't fight for
themselves
you know i feel like he's part of this bigger fight and that's the thing that i
see about him that um
you know that i hope he that he can read that he recognizes about himself
you know he's inspirational he loves his family uh he's connected um you know
to a higher power
and uh and he's just he's fighting the good fight you know he's fighting the
good fight and um
and in today's environment especially with athletes you know you see these
other guys egomaniacs and
they don't want to do this and they don't want to do that and dustin takes they
sent him out there to the
desert man what are they you know and he's he took it like a man has said i'll
go that's what that's
you know that's net that's the next part of my life that's the next moment and
i think if he chooses
to continue i think he'll have many more opportunities um but i you know and uh
and i hope he will i'd love
to see him whoop a couple more fellas ass out there uh but i'm a fan for life
man i'm a fan look if that
dude decided to run for mayor if he decided to be hell if he decided to uh do a
cooking show or
if he just decided to start a damn pressure washing business i'm in um i'm in
dude i bought in you
know i ain't got no jewelry bro but uh you know i'll lay a little bit of money
on the diamond bro i'll
invest in a diamond right there

Theo Von Reflects on Dustin Poirier - Khabib Nurmagomedov Fight

oh i don't know i didn't want i'm upset about the fight so people saw the fight
i'm not upset i mean
i'm man i dude i was just god dude i wanted you just that nobody could beat
that man khabib
it's not he's not it's like fighting lava it's like fighting like it's almost
like khabib is
like one of those blankets you see on the internet where it's like oh you need
this heavy this heavy
blanket oh you can't sleep here here's this heavy blanket for for 140 you can
get this 30 pound
blanket bitch that ain't a blanket that is a trap that is a trap dude somebody
right now people are
like oh yeah they've been they got the new blanket and they've been asleep for
a month yeah the baby's
been resting for two weeks the baby can't get out the bed because he's under a
dang 30 pound blanket
and that's i just felt like i don't know man let's let's take a couple of calls
about it uh some people
came in and you guys know that we're cheering for dustin the diamond poirier
and he's that rare
element i mean he should be on the periodic table and uh and i think one day he
may be let's get into
a couple of calls that came in on the hotline as always the hotline is 985-664-9503
gang gang what up co i'm just sitting here heartbroken i wonder how you're
feeling right now
dustin poirier just took that loss what are you feeling let us know man
man and i tell you this we got so many calls expressing uh just people sharing
their moods
during the fight and what was going on um
what my thoughts uh i mean the fight itself i thought
look first of all i don't know anything about fighting okay i'm not gonna
pretend like i do
i don't know you know i think dustin is a very neat person and i think he's
very dynamic as a human
um and so i want to see him do well at whatever he's doing you know like my
investment uh personally
is in him as a human he happens to be a fighter he's any and a great fighter um
i just think
you know like kabib or kabib or however is uh he's like kind of like a to me it's
not fight i i i
think i i it would be neat if they had to be on their feet for half the round
and they could then
the rest there's only a certain amount of time they could be on the ground now
i'm not and uh
and i told brendan schaub that and he goes well that's not the sport and and
that you may be right
but for me as a viewer i'd like to see a little bit because i want to see both
of them be able to do
some of the stuff that i really you know that i like to watch them do i like to
i like to see the
action at different levels um so you know that shit kind of bum me out because
kabib is fucking
boring the shit is boring dude it's like watching somebody lose their house to
some lava takes you
know 19 minutes or whatever and it's fucking boring so yeah i'm gonna go watch
lava dude get on the
internet they got a bunch of lava uh flows dude i used to watch flows man you
could you could be on a
three-hour youtube of a flow bruh and it finally fucking kills a sapling
outside of kawaii you're
like oh shit man it was three hours of my life thankfully i had a little bit of
cocaine you feel
me boy that'll make the lava speed up a little bit uh but that it was like yeah
it was like watching
some i mean it just i don't know and no disrespect the guy's great at uh at
what he does just to me
it's fucking boring to me it's boring you know i'm a dude i you know i watch
what i watch and i and i like
to consume things how i like and to me the shit was boring and i just you know
i i was just bummed man
i mean i was really bummed out and there's people uh you know at the bar
yelling shit and
and um and i watched it with nick and johnny you know the premature and the twink
man you know our
crew we watched it together as a team and and we were i mean the first the the
venue looked like a
like a damn no air conditioning you're like where are these guys in a tent out
back and i'm not saying
that they just when i was watching the on the on the fight pass they got this
accoutrement you can buy
and you get that you know special deal on the internet and you can watch it and
it looked like
they were in a damn fema tent or something out back uh so but hey you supposed
to you know they can
fight wherever it just the the the live stream or whatever they had was going
was it was a lot of it
was very boring the atmosphere seemed kind of mild um and what else uh but yeah
i mean i was definitely
bummed i was bummed for i was bummed for him you know i wanted him to be able
to win i know how much
he really wanted to win and it was very evident when you watch his you know his
interviews afterwards
and stuff and um and let's get a little bit we got this call i'll i'll share a
little bit more
on my thoughts we got this call that came in a perspective from the arena here
we go hey theo
what's going on this is ali in dubai hey ali thank you for calling man and uh
and uh and thank you guys
for hosting that event it seemed like and even dustin said it was just an
amazing event and if you watch
on um on dustin's story on his instagram story they have the dudes eating gold
meat and they're doing
all kind of crazy stuff over there so really uh seeing his experience over
there is is pretty cool
just to see a guy from just a small place in louisiana to get to go on that
adventure
um that's a small victory right there let's hear more ali i just thought i'd
call in and give you
some perspective on uh how things went inside the arena last night since you
weren't able to make it
um so yeah it was hot in there that's the first thing and there was about a
hundred thousand russians
wow and dude if i see two russians at a gas station i'm i'm driving off usually
because those guys dude
they'll drink dude they'll sit there they'll pour they'll have they'll be
mixing use they use diesel as
a mixer so you'll see a guy with an orange juice and uh you know and 96 petrol
you know they're
dieseling up you'll see a guy at the exxon fucking making a picture of mixed
drinks those are some
there's some tough guys let's hear more that's what it felt like so your boy
dustin was definitely
in some hostile territory and they were amped up all night every fight seemed
like it had a russian
guy in it just different sizes you know one guy's like 300 pounds one guy's
like 100 pounds but they
all look kind of the same yeah i felt like they kept taking one guy in the back
and then pulling
air you know stuffing fat in them or pulling air out them or putting muscle in
them or just
like they were back there frankensteining you know they got a table they got 19
things they got a
beard sideburns no beard you know more fat more muscle here's some sternum boom
boom boom send them
back out same guy more uh and the crowd was getting amped up there was about
three more fights just in our
section so it was a crazy environment uh and obviously he didn't get the result
he wanted but i just
started you know give you a perspective from in there he definitely you know he
didn't win the
fight but he definitely won a lot of people over and he got a lot of respect
from the people in the
crowd and i think people all over the world now know who he is and what he
stands for and that's
something that he can take with him for the rest of his life you know there
might be
championship belts come and go but that respect he has and you know kind of
putting louisiana on
the map too uh he can hold his head high for that so anyway all right bye thank
you y'all i really
appreciate that you know i love that on the ground that just that lie you know
thank you bruh that's
really kind of you to share what that experience was like from there you know i
really you know um
and and and and and just the fact that yeah you're right he can hold his head
up high
that's something that yeah like uh i i was bummed that you know i was
definitely upset that that he
came in second place i don't see how anybody beats khabib it's kind of like
when michael jordan played
you just but still it just because you didn't beat michael jordan doesn't mean
you're not dominique
wilkins you know i mean dustin is still beat every he's if it's anybody else if
it's any other time
existence in the universe you know he's he he got half the belt you know he got
the belt when it
wasn't available it could be he was he's he's the pinnacle there's just there's
this other pinnacle
that's floating off in the distance that that's its own it's on its own
frequency and that is uh
and that's khabib um but i uh yeah i think something about dustin is i i feel
like he did he probably
doesn't even realize and he may man this is i'm probably i don't know if i'm
being judgmental here
or or hopeful i feel like over his tenure has run uh you know especially in the
past year
that through through fighting and through ufc he has shown who he is as a
person
um and a lot a lot of people even if they have a great vehicle in their life
that allows them to
achieve dreams or goals aspirations rarely does also who they are which is the
bigger victory
of them being just a just a you know a good person of them fighting the good
fight i mean that's what
his foundation is called but yeah fighting the good fight i think a lot of
people realized oh i'm a fan
of this guy because of who he is yes he's a fighter but but he's i think he's
like a hero to a lot of
people and i know it's a kind of a wild word but um yeah i mean i guess he he's
definitely an inspiration
and so i think yeah it's like i just hope that he sees i think that he kind of
transcended the sport
a little bit um in the sense that he has gotten that people see him as a
as a communicator and as a uh interpreter uh for good in the world and that you
know uh
uh i don't know i i just
you know some uh few athletes get to do that few people in their in their
genres of of of entertainment
or of competition get to do that where you also see their heart you see who
they are and then that
becomes like i could see dustin being a mayor or a governor even like i think
he just has this
you know he has this
relentless drive that is going to bring him success in anything he does
um but i'll just uh you know you know i don't know here i am like fuck dude i
sound like i don't even
know um
you know i just think he's in a he's such an inspiration to a lot of people and
yeah he'll have the he had the belt he'll have the belt you know he'll he might
get different belts
but i think he's in this bigger competition i think where people see oh that
guy
you know a lot of fighters they come and go but this guy can stay forever if he
wants to as a leader
of people and um and i just hope he sees that i hope he sees but i hope he i
hope he sees what we
can all see that he's in this bigger competition of of uh of inspiring people
that um and of kind of
like of competing on a higher level of a human level that i think uh that we
all want to be in
the ring you know uh we all want to be in that ring i don't know if that makes
sense but
anyhow man um but thanks for that man that's really nice you to send in that
perspective and
just to have us to get an idea of what it was like in there yeah i can't
imagine being in there
uh but i thought it was great man it was fun to watch him get out there and
perform it was fun to
watch him to me it all seemed like a performance too but it was very fun to see
the excitement in
there and people just you know all the crazy beards and everybody looking like
they got pubic hair on
them everybody's cheeks look like a set of nuts up in there and they got a damn
you know everybody's
wrapped up in the turbans what were the concessions like that's what i i would
love to know that what
the concessions were like in there like at the concession stand like do they
have a pepsi do they
have a dynamite what do you know what are they what's for sale yeah i think
dustin poirier fights uh
you know when i was young i've said this before i think but i couldn't you know
i never i was afraid
to defend myself nobody taught me how to defend myself and my