Name: Theo Von Reminisces About Musical Chairs
Uploaded: 2019-09-30T06:03:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Reminisces About Musical Chairs' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-09-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Reminisces About Musical Chairs' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-09-30. Transcript available.

You know what I miss I was thinking about the other day?
Musical chairs.
Dude, remember musical chairs?
Remember at school?
I don't even know when it happened.
But about once every two years,
some new legislation came down at school
and they once again allowed kids to play musical chairs.
That's where they put like seven chairs in the middle of a room
and they put like 40 kids in the room.
And it was just bonkers.
You remember how crazy it was?
You remember it?
It was like, it was almost like the Royal Rumble,
like WWF Royal Rumble.
And they had everybody all suddenly,
you start to see who people are.
You'd have a little, you know, a couple sets of twins,
these two females, bro,
they're over there sharpening their teeth with a real file.
You're like, damn, these bitches
get in a seat.
Suddenly all the white kids were like,
oh, we're going to have a chance to do something athletically.
Musical chairs.
And then the music would start
all around the mulberry bush.
And people are just eyeing the other person.
Suddenly a friend was not a friend at all.
Suddenly some kid had just reached in his bag
and just painted his face up like,
William Wallace.
You know, he's like, we are free.
Tell them Scotland is free.
Other kids was getting scared.
One kid fainted, bro.
Dude, whatever, son.
You out, bro.
You out.
You can't handle musical chairs.
You ain't going to handle musical the rest of your life then.
Go move to somewhere else, bro,
and be weak, daddy.
We got to go.
And then it would stop.
And people,
you'd see some kid pull out a blade.
You know,
some rich kid would bring a chair from home.
You're like,
what?
Fauntleroy's,
oh,
that's it.
He's cheating.
They had some pedos on the side
betting on it,
laying money.
You know,
plus 750 on little Reginald over there.
And the teacher was smoking cigarettes.
It was insane.
And then just all these cheeks flying.
It was butt first.
It was butt first.
And there's just nothing more
just quirky and silly
than a bunch of children's butts
all flying in the same direction at once.
And you had to get cheek to seat.
Some kids,
they go for a chair
and miss it completely.
Shatter their legs.
Shatter their spine.
End up in a bag on,
you know,
end up traveling by sack
for the rest of their lives
on their dad or mom's back
if their mom was strong.
Just,
you know,
you had to get two cheeks on the seat
and it was yours.
And you had somebody
be yelling in the distance.
Somebody be yelling,
cheek that seat.
Cheek that seat.
There's people crawling through
pipes full of duty.
They said it would take
a man 600 years
to get out of the seat of prison.
But musical chairs,
Randall did it in less than 20.
And you know,
little Daniel's back there
in the back.
He got him a little Santa sack
and he's not even playing.
He's just
stealing people's stuff.
I mean,
he's back there.
He's taking these like
just mom-made sandwiches
and game boys
and just filling up a sack
and he's just,
he leaped out the window
right on the back
of a greyhound.
He left town
that we never even saw him.
Because you know Daniel,
you know,
he makes his own choices.
But damn,
boy,
musical chairs,
the game ends,
somebody,
it came down to two people,
one chair.
And it was actually
kind of a great thing
for regular life.
This is regular life.
It's going to be survival
of the fittest.
You got to get that ass right.
Because it's cheek first sometimes.
You got to put your ass
on the line.
And one,
you know,
somebody win,
you don't,
and that you win
and they're supposed
to give you some candies
and they go in the cupboard
and who knows,
some little asshole kid
ate all of them
lime slices.
Some sneaky
little white boy,
that poli Nicaragua,
snacked up
all the lime slices.
And little Daniel,
he's already,
he's halfway to Tacoma.
And he got that bag
of, you know,
maybe lukewarm muffins
and some ham sandwiches
and some pudding packs,
bruh.
And he's keyed up.
Come on,
boy,
get in there.
man,
I just,
I mean,
it was God's game.
I mean,
it was God's game,
man.
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