Name: Theo Von Thinks Video Games Used to Be Better
Uploaded: 2019-10-01T04:44:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Thinks Video Games Used to Be Better' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-10-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Thinks Video Games Used to Be Better' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-10-01. Transcript available.

I've been playing video games. I got Modern Warfare, Call of Duty.
And it's fun. It's definitely fun, but it's different.
It's a lot different, I feel like, than when I was young.
The video games now, you can't really lose.
Every time you get a little, they got a checkpoint, they call it.
Oh, you got the checkpoint.
Whenever you start back again, you start right here, buckaroo.
Good luck. Good luck, young buck.
You're going to do great out there.
When I was young, I remember you had to, look, you had a couple of lives.
And if you lost them all, guess what?
You had to start over at the beginning of the game.
And it was insane.
I remember if you got to the point where you're going to fight the bad guy.
Remember, you're going to fight Bowser.
Dude, I would pause the game.
Dude, I would take a break.
You know, I'd get my brother, dude, dude, do a massage, do a massage.
My hands, I'd be putting chalk on my hands.
I'd be doing cleaning jerks in the yard.
I would get ready.
If you were about to fight Bowser, I would get a rest for two days.
Just leave it.
Leave the screen on.
I would be, there was no, I would invite grandma.
She's my good luck charm.
Invite her over.
Grandma would drive down from Illinois.
If I'm fighting Bowser, you had to prepare.
This was it.
This was the big showdown.
You weren't going to get a million chances at it.
Remember, you would do everything.
You, you know, you'd have, maybe your dad would even come back.
He hadn't seen you in years.
He shows up to help you fight, to help you, just to watch you fight him.
And he's in disguise because he don't want your mom trying to get any of the
money he owes.
And then he leaves.
You lose and he's gone.
But, you know, but there's rumors that it was him.
It was just a different time.
And if you were at the, if you were fighting the champ, the Bowser, and now it's
like you're at the end.
They got a movie in between to make you feel comfortable.
You can restart a million times at the end.
You can't lose.
You can't really lose.
But it was different back then.
You had, remember, sometimes you would have to put something in the machine.
The machine broke.
After a while, it broke and you had to put something in there to hold the game
in place.
Or you had to have your sister sit there and hold the game.
Remember that?
Hold the game.
She'd be like, I'm not holding the game.
You're damn holding the game or you ain't eating.
And she would hold the game.
But then she would get nervous or something.
Or she would sneeze and move both her hands to cover her mouth because she had
manners.
And she, and she, and she, and she, and she fucked the game up.
And everybody would be pissed.
And you wouldn't forget it.
Even at Christmas times, you wouldn't get her nothing.
And you, and because you couldn't forget that.
But yeah, you had, look, it took you a day to get to Bowser.
And by God, you would train, you would eat healthy.
You would have all your Brussels sprouts just getting ready.
Pause the game upstairs.
You're fighting.
You're ready.
Different.
But yeah, I've been playing Modern Warfare, Call of Duty a little bit.
I don't have a, I guess I have a screen name, but I don't know how to put it
out there yet.
Out into the ether.
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