Name: What did Joe Gatto do for work before Impractical Jokers?
Uploaded: 2019-10-02T03:47:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What did Joe Gatto do for work before Impractical Jokers?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-10-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What did Joe Gatto do for work before Impractical Jokers?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-10-02. Transcript available.

dude you used to work on the ferry didn't you what no did you work on a ferry
yeah did you ever
time was tough yeah i panhandled for a while no did you a long time ago or no
no no i didn't work
on the ferry yeah i thought somebody told me that what was what was a job that
you had that
that you actually missed that was a long time ago i love sales i did sales all
the time yeah i when
i came out here to chase the dream i was going to be a screenwriter director
that's what that's
where i hope i'm hoping to end up and uh i came out here to do that in 2003 to
05 and i ended up
working at nordstrom's at the grove oh wow and i crushed the retail game for a
while did you
really yeah of course what was like one of your go-to moves if somebody wandered
in like you know
i'd always we i worked in the rail which is the men's section that sell like
high-end jeans and
like t-shirts and stuff right yeah so oh wow that's a quality section it's a
quality section yeah we
actually put it on the map i don't know i don't want to brag but i was a
platinum pace setter
salesman uh number five across the country anyway yeah one million dollars in a
year but that's the
either here or there i mean who's bragging no one and you guys are selling some
real wild stuff in
there yeah it was like it was like when uh von dutch hats i was every i put one
on everybody
even newborns huh even stillborns guys that's it man you know a dollar is a
dollar i worked on
commission
that was a 60 dollar hat it was yeah i used to i used to do the thing because
we worked in the
men's section when i had a great scheme it's all commission
really no hourly you don't get paid you don't get paid if you don't sell right
so that was it
which seems illegal yeah i think it is i think it is um so i didn't pay that's
like drugs that's
almost like drug trafficking but it's vests yes it is but it's vests the von
past the von dutch
so i did the uh i had like girlfriends who were coming with their boyfriends
and when the boyfriends
would come to shop and i'd be like oh and you uh i'm sure you need some jeans
too let me take you
upstairs and introduce you to chelsea i never go up there and i would have a
deal with chelsea upstairs
like whatever you sell them i get 50 of damn and it was such a great scheme
because you could sell
anything in the store and then eventually i became known there as like because
i was fun and funny
you know and i didn't really yeah i'm pretty good with people and i could sell
anything so somebody
would be like oh i need a watch i'm like yeah i know i know watches yeah i don't
i walk over i get
a key from some guy i got you over here next you know you got the guy on a nordic
track somewhere
on the fifth floor they sell like teslas at the grove now yeah there's a tesla
inside the
nordstrom there's a tesla so i was like do you guys can we sell teslas because
i'll go back
forget tv man i'm coming back to sell teslas you start wandering you make deals
all across the
grove so you're wandering out of nordstrom you're just a personal shopper then
i then i got uh i i got
recruited i got poached from nordstrom to this high-end uh it's called hd
buttercup it's a
oh yeah furniture i opened that store did you really i did i was their first
personal shopper
dude it's pricey over there it's crazy and i worked out a deal with them that
like because
they have little their setup was called manu tailors right so they have little
stores within a big store
so it's a huge bakery kind of like that um fred siegel yeah exactly right so
they had that whole
setup and i was like oh okay so i want to sell the whole store and they're like
oh no you would just
work for this one company i'm like oh that's not what i was told in the
interview and they're like
what i was like i'm just going to sell everything so i would just walk around
and
sell everything to anybody who walked in the door and i actually helped jessica
alba
with like rugs like that was my big thing for a while i like helped her like i
helped she was
there with her brother and i helped her with like some rugs and stuff and i was
like my claim of fame
for a while i went around and i was like yeah i sold drugs to jessica like i
you know i just jumped
it up oh magic carpets we call them but there was a they had an antique section
and it was one guy
that worked at hd buttercup inside one of the manu tails was an antique guy
okay and it's all
commission there too i i worked out a deal where it was hourly plus commission
so i got like
three percent or five percent i think i'm five percent there and i said okay i
was like you
know whatever i sell get five percent of and this guy and i was like eating
tuna fish like you know
what it's like when you move out here like i was like a peanut butter i couldn't
afford the jelly
it was like peanut butter sandwiches yeah you know so i didn't squeeze the
packet of jelly in your
mouth i would get a bite of the peanut butter sandwich and then squeeze a
little bit of the jelly
yeah just fill your pockets at any content pop is that great jelly too some
places have shady jelly
i thought but that's a different chat i don't know if you want to get into that
now let's come
back we'll circle back let's say so we're at hd buttercup you got the antique
section so what
happened what was that what's it was so i don't know that i don't know shit
about antiques the guy
goes on break he's like hey i gotta go pick up my daughter i think i had to
pick up his daughter
from school or something he's like do you mind just watching us till we close
nobody ever went in
oh listen all the white privilege in that guy's life huh his daughter's at
school yeah he's like
i'm gonna pick her up but whatever he had to do or he had a doctor appointment
or a funeral i can't
remember if he's antiquated it's probably a funeral probably gonna do a little
research he's like let
me go get a bureau right so he goes on break and a woman walks in i was like oh
could you help me
with actually like i'm looking for an antique uh chest and i'm like sure so i
walk in and i hadn't
hardly ever walked into this because i didn't know anything about it yeah and
there's only so much you
could fake right so i get in and she's like yeah this is from a battle yeah
right like it's all
oh this smells like lincoln oh yeah this has got mahogany and lincoln that's
what this is right
here i'm just throwing out terms so she's like she walked in and she fell in
love with this like
armoire this like big oh yeah those are real nice and i was like oh this is
really nice she's
like oh i think my husband will like this it was like i think it was like an
anniversary gift or
something i was like okay i was like i could get you the information she's like
oh no i'll take it
and this guy's on lunch and i work on commission five percent and i'm like all
right
and i look at the price it was forty thousand dollars and i was like where
would you like
that delivered and that was like and you put it on your bag right there and i
was like i'm like i
got an uber for it it's back in the day so there wasn't even that like i'll
carry this i will walk
all of culver city for you yeah you had to know yeah you had to know a couple
tongans or hawaiians
to fucking you know what i'm saying now it's furniture it's a big time but
before they came here
there was this furniture that stayed where it was all over it's like you you
moved to the furniture
like this isn't my dresser i live here now yeah but that was uh that was my big
thing and then i
moved back to new york and and so whenever you moved when you made that move
back to new york had you
like kind of given up on some of that that like that dream a little bit like
was it a little bit of
that move yes i mean we've all done a little bit of that move at some point i
think like there was a
point i was out here for like six years and then i moved back to louisiana for
a while
and i was uh doing margaritas or something or making margaritas for you know at
a shit at a
real halfway house of a fucking taco taco tyria you know it was like a tacos
had like this real shady
cafe with tacos and then they had a bar like hooked to it really yeah and they
had the margarita machine
and i broke it i said did the settings wrong and uh then i had to pretend like
it wasn't broke dude
it was like johnny buffett's margaritaville yeah it was real shady yeah it was
like uh yeah it was
like che wavera's uh margaritaville or something people are like this is you
know this is interesting
yeah so when you moved back was it was it because of um well when i moved back
my grandma had passed
away my grandmother and my mother became widows together like within like five
days of each other
so they always had each other so my mom was like alone now so i felt like you
know and you know what i
was like it's at my grandmother's funeral actually my hand was kind of forced
at my grandma's funeral
i had come in from la and i said um i said to my mom i said you know maybe i'll
move back to new
york just out loud like just streaming oh maybe i'll move back to new york in a
little bit and she
started crying and hugged me said thank you thank you thank you i was like okay
i guess i'm moving back
to new york like i can't be like back off lady you know so i was like all right
i'll move back so i
decided and you guys are pretty close you and your mom yeah we were yeah yeah
so uh and so yeah so at
that point you don't really have a choice then if she's if you guys are close
and she wants you back
yeah so i came back and i moved back into her basement as you know good 30 year
old sons do
yeah bro they'll say fire up the record player yeah we we uh it's the same
basement actually where
before i moved is where the tenderloins used to rehearse my boys we used to uh
rehearse down there
me salmer uh and our friend mike used to before we did our shows we used the
same basement so i ended up
living where i was doing improv rehearsal so you know i was in a good mental
space
and i ended up getting a job because of out here in retail at that one of the
manu tailors there
uh-huh brought me into a show with the jacob javits center which is this big
furniture show at the
javits center like where people come to meet new you know uh vendors and stuff
okay where's javits
center it's it's in manhattan it's the big uh conference center there in manhattan
so okay it's
like the design center here or whatever you know like one of those where they
had those big conferences
huge you know comic-con is in new york right so um they uh i i decided to work
help her out with this thing and i'm just you know selling bullshitting and
just selling all this
stuff to people who are coming into opening stores and this one woman came up
to me her name was uh
ally and she was the ceo of a new store uh called giggle a baby store and so i
started selling some
stuff and she like really like you could easily sell something to a baby yeah i
mean i'm the money
you just have to make it look cute shake it make sure it makes noise yeah don't
shake the baby the
toy as well kids nowadays they're resilient did you enjoy that clip well uh you
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