Name: Theo Von Uncovers The Truth Behind McDonald's Ice Cream Maker
Uploaded: 2019-12-21T15:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Uncovers The Truth Behind McDonald's Ice Cream Maker' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Uncovers The Truth Behind McDonald's Ice Cream Maker' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-21. Transcript available.

Onward, here we go.
Yo, Theo, this is Marnin out here in St. Louis, man.
Marnin, and that's a great name.
And that's obviously a name you've got to use before noon.
And that's got to be great because it's got to be just peaceful after that.
Nobody bothering you.
Onward, brother.
I was just hitting you up because I heard you talking about that ice cream
machine at McDonald's, man.
I used to work up there.
They canned me.
And I'll tell you the truth about that thing, man.
It's always working.
It's just nobody wants to clean it.
So they just tell you it's broken all the time.
If you want some ice cream, you want to get that sundae,
you just tell them straight up, look, I'm going to talk to your district
manager.
I know that thing works.
And I guarantee you, man, they'll fire that boy up for you.
But then you've got to be careful because they're probably going to spit in it.
So remember that the next time you're hitting that late-night McDonald's.
Don't let them pull that bullshit on you, gang.
They always do it.
And how much spit, that's the question.
It really pops into your brain like a damn vulture with a handful of warm marbles.
I mean, that's the thing that's, you know, how much, you know, if they drop one
little, you know, about a 19th of an ounce or something over to the edge, I can
handle it, boy.
But if they do a, you know, if they clear the throat, I'm out.
But yeah, that's the thing, McDonald's, I mean, here's the thing.
This is a great time for McDonald's to finally fire up the ice cream machines.
All these bitches can't be off.
All of them can't be off.
McDonald's are getting lazy.
They're fighting at Popeye's.
Chick-fil-A, man, they got peace.
But every now and then, somebody gets choked out over there, angry about the
Lord.
Bro, I'm telling you, it's all turning into the WWE.
And it's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
You're going to have everybody, next thing you know, it's going to be, you know,
Krusty the Crab is going to be running for office.
You're going to have, someone's going to give birth to a damn watermelon.
It's all merging.
This is it.
This is the time.
This is the time for somebody to just pull a damn, reach into your, reach into
your, you can, this is the time.
I mean, you can, there's all kind of stuff.
Anything.
Do a, somebody do a backflip off a damn Wendy's.
Kids are learning baseball on slanted fields.
Okay, it's a new era.
Where anything is possible.
And we got it.
And I'm happy to be here with you doing it.
All right, let's take another call.
Good luck out there, man.
I'm going to tell them.
I'm going to threaten that district manager.
I'm going to hit them with that slide into your DM.
Okay.
Because I know that they got that Sunday superintendent.
And he's, he knows the ice cream switch.
And I roll up every time.
It's that damn witching hour.
Oh, it's broke.
Oh, we can't get it to, uh, turn it on, Jack.
Okay.
Um, sorry, sir.
We out of the, um, oh, okay.
We, uh, the, um, turn it on.
I want the Sunday and I want the little sack of nutty nuts with it.
Okay.
Them little fricking little bitty damn look like you could barely get them
stuck in your teeth.
Them little nut nuggets.
I want the, I want two packs of them bitches.
And I want it all or nothing at all.
Turn on the Sunday maker.
Y'all in there laughing, thinking you just, all you're going to make all night
is little cheeseburgers and this and that.
I want six happy meals, boy.
I want a fucking, I know what y'all doing in there.
Y'all back there hiding, fucking eating them nighttime McGriddles, being risky.
Well, look here, Grimace the menace.
Turn it on.
Turn on the Sunday maker.
People driving across town to get a damn sweet, cold, frozen, icy, nighttime,
cupped snack.
And you got the audacity to just, I don't, we, oh, they, oh.
Oh, we, it's, uh, I'm sorry to tell you, but no.
I'm sorry to tell you.
But I'll draw a Popeye's chicken sandwich on the wall of this fragging McDaniels.
And raise straight H-E-L-L.
Gang, bruh.
Turn it on.
I'm sorry, man.
That shit makes me mad, boy.
It makes me mad.
So that's that first call right there, uh, and that's the truth.
If you want the facts, you threaten that district manager.
Oh, I'm about to slide into your DM, all right.
Yeah.
Well, thanks for watching that video right there. That was a beautiful little
segment, I think. But of course, I'm partisan to myself. But you can move on to
another video right now. You can check on this video or on this video. That's
two different options. And you can also subscribe to the channel. Check on a
new video. Subscribe to the channel. Check, subscribe, check, check, subscribe,
subscribe.