Name: Theo Von Loves the Dutch
Uploaded: 2020-02-01T21:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Loves the Dutch' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Loves the Dutch' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-02-01. Transcript available.

Onward to Amsterdam.
And that is a hit from Amsterdam.
High Six is the name of that band.
H-Y-S-I-C-S.
With that regional hit called Made in Amsterdam.
And that's a strong.
You can feel the beat in there.
You can feel the undertones and the different overtones as well.
Amsterdam, the Dutch, baby.
The Dutch.
By far, some of the most aerodynamic people you'll ever see.
I mean, the Dutch are downhill.
They're downhill individuals.
They will.
They are in motion.
I-M-D, baby.
The in motion Dutch.
You don't see a lot of still Dutch.
Name 70 still Dutch.
Nobody can, brother.
Okay?
They're in motion.
Doesn't matter.
They're on a tram.
They're on roller skates.
They're sewing a magic carpet and riding on it at the same time.
The Dutch are doing things.
If you don't have any missiles, fill your freaking Dutch buddy's mouth up with
gunpowder and send him on his way, bro.
He'll get the job done.
They are movers.
Tell someone in Amsterdam to keep a secret?
No problem.
They will never stop long enough to even share what you told them.
I mean, everywhere you go in Amsterdam, they're just...
On a train.
On a bike.
On a boat.
On a bird.
On a rumor.
On a breeze.
It's just...
The Dutch are coming and going.
I saw a dude pass by on a falcon, putting on skis, and worried he was going to
be late for a regional avalanche.
They are on the move.
Where are you going, brother?
Oh, there's a ship.
You know, there's a unicycle.
There's a bicycle.
Doxycycline.
Rocky Johnson.
I'm catching him.
He's headed to heaven.
Yeah, got to catch the five train man to a canoe, to a Uber pool.
That actually drains into a real pool, and it's a whirlpool, and then I'm
meeting Joran Vandersalute, and hopefully the Bermuda Triangle will still be
open.
Because we got to be there.
I can't believe they let people get high there.
Okay, there's way too many moving parts.
It's almost like trying to smoke a blunt in the middle of a game of Tetris on
Difficult.
I mean, I can't...
Being high there just everywhere, there's just...
It'd be like being high in a conveyor belt factory.
Bruh.
Nah, fam.
Nah.
Maybe, you know, catch me.
I'll be in the hammock area.
But Amsterdam, they, the Dutch, man, I'm telling you, they're aerodynamic for a
reason, because they're on the move.
And look, if you see a Dutch person, this is how you see them.
That's a Dutch.
Oh, what's...
Oh, what's that?
Oh, that's a Dutch.
Oh, dang.
Oh.
Man, what was...
Oh, a Dutch?
What was that?
Oh, dang.
Oh, ah.
What's that?
Oh, is that hail?
Nah.
That's a batch of Dutch, son.
The Dutch are coming.
And going.
They're in motion.
Whoa.
Somebody just pulled the floor out from under me.
Nah, that's a shift, son.
That's plate tectonic.
Dutch.
Beautiful city.
Beautiful people.
But you gotta be ready to move.
To move.
Everything's in, you know, even the cows there, they running, bro.
They're not grazing.
They don't...
You'll see a cow jump over the moon.
Dude, and do it a couple times that day.
Everything there.
On the go.
You get a steak at night, there's no meat on it.
This cow damn.
Who's this?
Carol Lewis?
This thing ran right out of his own meat.
And the steak be like a damn nugget, bro.
Like a beef nugget.
You could throw it up in the air.
And that's nothing, bro.
You know, you got a mouth full of, uh, hamster steak.
Stay Dutch, baby.
Thank you guys for checking out this clip.
And if you want to see another clip, then you can look at this clip or this
clip.
Either one of these.
So, did you pick one or are you still just watching me do this?
Because this is alarming.
Thank you.