Name: Brad Williams on Quaden Bayles (with Theo Von and Chris Distefano)
Uploaded: 2020-03-06T17:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Brad Williams on Quaden Bayles (with Theo Von and Chris Distefano)' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Brad Williams on Quaden Bayles (with Theo Von and Chris Distefano)' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-06. Transcript available.

I want to call Brad Williams, because remember, you know this Quaden Bales
thing that happened?
Yeah, I do, yeah.
The young gunner, this Australian young buck.
Right.
And people were really lighting into him.
Yeah, but, right.
And Brad did a fundraiser for him, and it was supposed to be to raise 10 grand,
and I think they raised about a lot more.
I'm going to say a couple hundred thousand.
But then, unfortunately, picture-
Hold on.
Okay.
Sorry, don't hold on.
You say whatever you want.
Yeah, say what you're going to say.
I was going to say, I'm sorry, pictures of that kid came out with him with strippers
and stuff like that.
Did they really?
So, I don't think he's eight years.
They say he's not eight or nine years old, but I don't care.
He's still small enough.
He still can't get on all the rides, so we should still just send him out there.
Well, I mean, if you want, I don't know what happened.
So, what I'm wondering is, do we know what happened?
And you guys are going to have to put on the headphones to hear Brad when we
call him?
I mean, $300,000 is a lot of fucking money.
I don't have Brad's number.
All right.
Because this thing really captivated the nation last week.
And put the phone in the middle of the table.
Hey, brother.
What's up, man?
It's Theo.
Hey, buddy.
How are you?
Doing fantastic.
Hey, man.
Thanks for answering the call.
We got Chris DiStefano here in the podcast right now.
What's up, Brad?
Hey, buddy.
Hey, Chris.
I'm seeing you on Thursday.
Yes, on Thursday, man.
We're going to do Kimmel together.
Oh, y'all are?
A little stand-up.
Yeah.
A duet?
We should.
We could do that.
I'm down to do that.
Yeah, we're going to do a Jeff Dunham act.
Yeah.
Hold on.
But, Brad, only if Chris sits on your lap.
That's the only way.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're doing a reverse Jeff Dunham.
Yeah, it's going to be great.
Get your hand up my ass.
It's one of my favorite sex moves, the reverse Jeff Dunham.
Yeah, you can get a reverse Jeff Dunham at the cat house in Vegas.
Let's do it, dude.
That's why I'll stay an extra night then.
You don't need an extra night, bro.
You just stop by during the day.
All right, I'll do that then.
Don't be that creeper that hangs out after.
Me and Brad, daylight cat house.
You're going to be living in the apartments?
Oh, God.
Brad, we talked about the Quayton Bales thing on the podcast last week, and
everybody's been
talking about it.
I know that you did a fundraiser for him.
Can you kind of take us through a little bit of that and where you're at now
with it?
Yeah, no problem.
First of all, he's nine years old, everybody.
Okay?
So, stop with your damn conspiracy theories.
He's nine years old.
Anyway, I got wind of the video because I've got some Australian fans that kept
sending
me the video, and I don't know why they kept sending it to me.
Just like, hey, you're a dwarf.
He's a dwarf.
You can help him.
Like, I don't know what they were thinking.
Like all the cousins?
Yeah, like I've got some hotline or something.
But I saw the video, and like anyone who saw the video who's got a pulse, I was
really
moved by it.
Of course, I'm a fellow little person.
He's got the same kind of dwarfism that I do, and I was bullied growing up.
So, it really spoke to me.
So, I thought, I've got to do something, but I can't.
You know, I'm out in Los Angeles.
What can I do?
He's in Australia.
So, I thought, well, I'll throw together a GoFundMe page and send the kid to
Disneyland.
I grew up going to Disneyland.
Kids love Disneyland.
So, I did that.
Set the goal at $10,000, because with $10,000, you can buy them flights,
tickets, and maybe
two churros.
Those things are expensive.
Yeah.
And I figured, you know, that'd be a good time.
So, I set it at $10,000, tweeted it out, and then I went to bed.
And the next day, it was at $18,000.
Damn.
And then Hugh Jackman talked about it.
William Shatner talked about it.
It started getting passed around to all these celebrities.
That's the normal one.
And then, currently, we're at $460,000.
Damn.
That's what Theo gets for a weekend.
So, Homeboy is going to buy Disneyland.
And I'm thrilled about that.
I hope a dwarf owns Disneyland, because then probably no more height
requirements.
I'll be happy.
That'd be great.
Yeah, Space Mountain all day.
And so, whenever the conspiracy theories came out, I mean, just because, you
know, people
are skeptical of everything, what did you do then?
Oh, man.
I just kind of let it go.
Like, if I chased down every person that was talking about it, or saying that
he's 18 years
old, or that he's not really 18, he's a 45-year-old actor, you know, just weird
stuff like that.
Yeah, people saying he's in Dunkirk.
He was in Dunkirk?
Yeah.
That's what people were saying.
That's hilarious.
What were they, dropping him out of the plane?
Oh, God, I have no idea.
He played one of the bombs.
Dropping him out to the Germans?
Yeah, people were, there were all kinds of conspiracy theories.
People were saying that he worked for the city.
I remember somewhere outside of Akron.
There was all kind of wild stuff.
But did you, did you check with him?
Did you do any other recon to make sure that you were, like, did you have any
question?
Yeah.
I mean, I just wanted to make sure that he's a good kid, and that, you know, he's
a kid.
But I got to FaceTime with him, and FaceTime with both him and his mom.
And that's back when the fundraiser was at $20,000, and it really hadn't picked
up yet.
News organizations weren't really talking about it.
So I was FaceTiming with him.
He seems like a fun, normal kid.
And then, once it started going above, like, $50,000, $75,000, I started
reaching out to a bunch of different people that run charities and do these
kind of things all the time.
GoFundMe is an incredible website because once a fundraiser hits a certain
point, they assign a team to that fundraiser.
So I had a team from GoFundMe and Constant Communication, and they vetted
everything.
They looked into everything.
They did amazing work.
And where does the money go?
Well, and we posted an update on the page.
So Caden and his family actually released a statement that said that they are
turning down the trip to Disneyland, and they want all the money to just go to
charity.
Wow.
That's dope.
He's ridiculous.
Are you going to pick the charity?
Does he pick the charity?
How does it work?
I did another FaceTime call with him and his mom, and we kind of went through
all the charities that we wanted to go through.
Because if you look at the original wording on my GoFundMe, I said any excess
money would be donated to charity.
So we picked some great charities, and they're actually posted right now on the
GoFundMe page.
We picked six different charities, some charities.
Right.
Yeah.
Stomp Out Bullying, Born This Way.
Those are two charities in the United States.
There's four charities in Australia.
We're giving about $66,000 to each of those charities, and then whatever money
is left over, I decided to give it to Caden and his family and said, you guys
can spend that money however you want.
I know you're turning down money, but many people donated to this fund with the
thought of their money going directly to the family.
So I thought, let's honor that.
And is it $400,000 U.S. or Australian?
What's the currency?
Yeah.
It's $460,000 U.S., which is a little over $700,000 Australian.
Yo, they could buy one of those fucking – they could buy the aborigine people
with that.
Right?
Not all of them.
You could buy probably a couple.
A couple of them.
Oh, thank you.
And this is a good time to add that some of the charities are anti-racism
charities that stand up for the rights of the aborigine people.
Absolutely.
As do I.
I haven't met an aborigine person.
Have you?
You haven't?
Yes, I have.
I would love to meet one.
I know – because I don't think I have any aborigine fans, but I'm looking for
that.
That's one of the things I'm trying to get from my podcast.
There you go.
You've got to get some.
It'll be fantastic for you.
Yeah, and I, Brad, too, because I'm just a victim of the internet as well.
It's like all these pictures are like, oh, he's 19 years old.
He's with strippers.
He's got guns.
I mean, how do they do all that?
Yeah.
Like, what is it?
Listen.
Photoshop?
The internet is an amazing place, both good and bad.
I mean, there were people that were spreading rumors that like, oh, like there
was some – like I looked at a lot of this stuff because I wanted to make sure
that the money was going to a good spot.
There was one person who had a Facebook talk show that said like that Caden was
like this nine-year-old running around the school like sexually assaulting
girls.
And they said that their proof was that they read one Facebook comment that –
and they posted the Facebook comment and it said, oh, a friend of mine, his kid
goes to the same school and knows some girls.
This happened.
I'm like, really?
You're going through all this off of Facebook comment?
Yeah.
That's ridiculous, man.
Like, ridiculous.
Yeah.
Do you –
People were going nuts.
Is there – I mean, yeah, there's all kind of stuff.
Somebody – people said he opened up for Gucci Mane.
There was all kind of shit.
I mean, well, that is the problem is when UTA signs him and he starts taking
dates away from everybody.
We're going to be like, fuck you, Brad.
That's a great point, man.
This dude's going to be –
You know, they signed Bagel Boy.
Bagel Boss.
Yeah.
They had this kid named Lightning Rod – I don't want to say Lightning Rod.
Lightning Rodney maybe when I was growing up.
Some guy, they got hit by Lightning and they tried to tour him around locally.
Really?
Yeah.
He was probably moving major tickets.
Oh, he wasn't doing anything.
Maybe 40 tickets.
Nah.
Kaden will sell out.
Now, what about this, Brad?
Are there higher costs associated with being like a little person growing up?
Like are there costs that – are there extra costs?
Yeah.
Well, like just in terms of – I mean, at your most basic cost, most clothes
that I would like to buy don't fit me.
So, you got to get stuff that's tailored unless you just want to be walking
around with like a shirt that has Bob the Builder on it.
But I doubt you want that.
So, yeah.
You have extra tailoring and then plus a lot of little people have medical
problems, whether it be neck or leg surgeries.
I've had one dwarf-related surgery on my legs.
So, yeah.
They can get problems that way as well.
So, that's why I wanted to give the family a little bit of money just because
if those kind of things are coming up with Kaden, I want to make sure that they're
taken care of.
And that's what people who gave money to the campaign wanted as well.
Yeah.
That's dope.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's dope.
And it's really great and really – and people stepped up and we ended up
donating a ton of money to charity that's going to anti-bullying, anti-abuse,
anti-racism charities.
So, a lot of people are going to be helped in a very positive way because of
this.
Yeah.
I could not be more thankful.
Yeah, man.
And I know because I'm a dad.
I know you're a new dad.
Congrats.
It's like when I see stuff like that and I'm sure it's the same with you, it's
like you can't help but think like what if that was my child being abused that
way?
Like, you know, so it's great that you can – that you made an effort and did
it because I – there's things – there's times when I see videos like that
and I'm like, I can't – what if that was my daughter and then I have a chance
to donate and I just watch Pornhub or do something different.
But you actually went out there and made a difference, which is why you're
happily married and I'm, you know, single living with Don DePetta on his couch.
There's still time.
I still – yeah.
That's why I got visitation rights.
But you, you know, but you have a full happy family.
There's still time.
Brad, thanks so much, man.
And, yeah, at least Chris will be warmed up for your podcast later this week,
man.
Hey, sounds great.
Thank you, guys.
Gang, gang, everybody.
Before he hangs up, can you hear me?
Yeah.
What's the quickest way to get to your GoFundMe?
Because when you just search on GoFundMe, we can't find it.
So how can we get to the actual GoFundMe?
Oh, if you guys still want to donate to the GoFundMe because it is still open,
you can – probably the quickest way is just to go to my Twitter and then
scroll down the tweets and you'll find links.
I'm on Twitter at FunnyBrad.
And if not, I'm sure you can just Google GoFundMe for Bullied Australian Boy
and something's going to pop up.
There will be news articles.
There will be links.
You can definitely find it.
And there will be $460,000 in there already.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
And I had so many friends that were like – it really makes you realize who
your friends are because I had so many friends that were like sending me
messages like, dude, embezzle it.
Take it.
Go to Sweden.
And I'm like –
Go to Sweden?
What the fuck?
What if you disguised yourself as Quaden and went to Disneyland?
Oh, shame.
Get – shave.
Get a tan.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It could happen, man.
Dude.
Dude, thanks so much.
It's such a – it's such a cool story to hear, man.
And, yeah, just thanks for jumping on the line with us and sharing that.
No problem.
Love you guys.
Love the podcast.
See you on Thursday, Chris.
See you Thursday, Brad.
Thank you.
Good evening.
Good afternoon and other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could.
Watch this one.
Or, watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah!

Brad Williams on Quaden Bayles (with Theo Von and Chris Distefano)

I want to call Brad Williams, because remember, you know this Quaden Bales
thing that happened?
Yeah, I do, yeah.
The young gunner, this Australian young buck.
Right.
And people were really lighting into him.
Yeah, but, right.
And Brad did a fundraiser for him, and it was supposed to be to raise 10 grand,
and I think they raised about a lot more.
I'm going to say a couple hundred thousand.
But then, unfortunately, picture-
Hold on.
Okay.
Sorry, don't hold on.
You say whatever you want.
Yeah, say what you're going to say.
I was going to say, I'm sorry, pictures of that kid came out with him with strippers
and stuff like that.
Did they really?
So, I don't think he's eight years.
They say he's not eight or nine years old, but I don't care.
He's still small enough.
He still can't get on all the rides, so we should still just send him out there.
Well, I mean, if you want, I don't know what happened.
So, what I'm wondering is, do we know what happened?
And you guys are going to have to put on the headphones to hear Brad when we
call him?
I mean, $300,000 is a lot of fucking money.
I don't have Brad's number.
All right.
Because this thing really captivated the nation last week.
And put the phone in the middle of the table.
Hey, brother.
What's up, man?
It's Theo.
Hey, buddy.
How are you?
Doing fantastic.
Hey, man.
Thanks for answering the call.
We got Chris DiStefano here in the podcast right now.
What's up, Brad?
Hey, buddy.
Hey, Chris.
I'm seeing you on Thursday.
Yes, on Thursday, man.
We're going to do Kimmel together.
Oh, y'all are?
A little stand-up.
Yeah.
A duet?
We should.
We could do that.
I'm down to do that.
Yeah, we're going to do a Jeff Dunham act.
Yeah.
Hold on.
But, Brad, only if Chris sits on your lap.
That's the only way.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're doing a reverse Jeff Dunham.
Yeah, it's going to be great.
Get your hand up my ass.
It's one of my favorite sex moves, the reverse Jeff Dunham.
Yeah, you can get a reverse Jeff Dunham at the cat house in Vegas.
Let's do it, dude.
That's why I'll stay an extra night then.
You don't need an extra night, bro.
You just stop by during the day.
All right, I'll do that then.
Don't be that creeper that hangs out after.
Me and Brad, daylight cat house.
You're going to be living in the apartments?
Oh, God.
Brad, we talked about the Quayton Bales thing on the podcast last week, and
everybody's been
talking about it.
I know that you did a fundraiser for him.
Can you kind of take us through a little bit of that and where you're at now
with it?
Yeah, no problem.
First of all, he's nine years old, everybody.
Okay?
So, stop with your damn conspiracy theories.
He's nine years old.
Anyway, I got wind of the video because I've got some Australian fans that kept
sending
me the video, and I don't know why they kept sending it to me.
Just like, hey, you're a dwarf.
He's a dwarf.
You can help him.
Like, I don't know what they were thinking.
Like all the cousins?
Yeah, like I've got some hotline or something.
But I saw the video, and like anyone who saw the video who's got a pulse, I was
really
moved by it.
Of course, I'm a fellow little person.
He's got the same kind of dwarfism that I do, and I was bullied growing up.
So, it really spoke to me.
So, I thought, I've got to do something, but I can't.
You know, I'm out in Los Angeles.
What can I do?
He's in Australia.
So, I thought, well, I'll throw together a GoFundMe page and send the kid to
Disneyland.
I grew up going to Disneyland.
Kids love Disneyland.
So, I did that.
Set the goal at $10,000, because with $10,000, you can buy them flights,
tickets, and maybe
two churros.
Those things are expensive.
Yeah.
And I figured, you know, that'd be a good time.
So, I set it at $10,000, tweeted it out, and then I went to bed.
And the next day, it was at $18,000.
Damn.
And then Hugh Jackman talked about it.
William Shatner talked about it.
It started getting passed around to all these celebrities.
That's the normal one.
And then, currently, we're at $460,000.
Damn.
That's what Theo gets for a weekend.
So, Homeboy is going to buy Disneyland.
And I'm thrilled about that.
I hope a dwarf owns Disneyland, because then probably no more height
requirements.
I'll be happy.
That'd be great.
Yeah, Space Mountain all day.
And so, whenever the conspiracy theories came out, I mean, just because, you
know, people
are skeptical of everything, what did you do then?
Oh, man.
I just kind of let it go.
Like, if I chased down every person that was talking about it, or saying that
he's 18 years
old, or that he's not really 18, he's a 45-year-old actor, you know, just weird
stuff like that.
Yeah, people saying he's in Dunkirk.
He was in Dunkirk?
Yeah.
That's what people were saying.
That's hilarious.
What were they, dropping him out of the plane?
Oh, God, I have no idea.
He played one of the bombs.
Dropping him out to the Germans?
Yeah, people were, there were all kinds of conspiracy theories.
People were saying that he worked for the city.
I remember somewhere outside of Akron.
There was all kind of wild stuff.
But did you, did you check with him?
Did you do any other recon to make sure that you were, like, did you have any
question?
Yeah.
I mean, I just wanted to make sure that he's a good kid, and that, you know, he's
a kid.
But I got to FaceTime with him, and FaceTime with both him and his mom.
And that's back when the fundraiser was at $20,000, and it really hadn't picked
up yet.
News organizations weren't really talking about it.
So I was FaceTiming with him.
He seems like a fun, normal kid.
And then, once it started going above, like, $50,000, $75,000, I started
reaching out to a bunch of different people that run charities and do these
kind of things all the time.
GoFundMe is an incredible website because once a fundraiser hits a certain
point, they assign a team to that fundraiser.
So I had a team from GoFundMe and Constant Communication, and they vetted
everything.
They looked into everything.
They did amazing work.
And where does the money go?
Well, and we posted an update on the page.
So Caden and his family actually released a statement that said that they are
turning down the trip to Disneyland, and they want all the money to just go to
charity.
Wow.
That's dope.
He's ridiculous.
Are you going to pick the charity?
Does he pick the charity?
How does it work?
I did another FaceTime call with him and his mom, and we kind of went through
all the charities that we wanted to go through.
Because if you look at the original wording on my GoFundMe, I said any excess
money would be donated to charity.
So we picked some great charities, and they're actually posted right now on the
GoFundMe page.
We picked six different charities, some charities.
Right.
Yeah.
Stomp Out Bullying, Born This Way.
Those are two charities in the United States.
There's four charities in Australia.
We're giving about $66,000 to each of those charities, and then whatever money
is left over, I decided to give it to Caden and his family and said, you guys
can spend that money however you want.
I know you're turning down money, but many people donated to this fund with the
thought of their money going directly to the family.
So I thought, let's honor that.
And is it $400,000 U.S. or Australian?
What's the currency?
Yeah.
It's $460,000 U.S., which is a little over $700,000 Australian.
Yo, they could buy one of those fucking – they could buy the aborigine people
with that.
Right?
Not all of them.
You could buy probably a couple.
A couple of them.
Oh, thank you.
And this is a good time to add that some of the charities are anti-racism
charities that stand up for the rights of the aborigine people.
Absolutely.
As do I.
I haven't met an aborigine person.
Have you?
You haven't?
Yes, I have.
I would love to meet one.
I know – because I don't think I have any aborigine fans, but I'm looking for
that.
That's one of the things I'm trying to get from my podcast.
There you go.
You've got to get some.
It'll be fantastic for you.
Yeah, and I, Brad, too, because I'm just a victim of the internet as well.
It's like all these pictures are like, oh, he's 19 years old.
He's with strippers.
He's got guns.
I mean, how do they do all that?
Yeah.
Like, what is it?
Listen.
Photoshop?
The internet is an amazing place, both good and bad.
I mean, there were people that were spreading rumors that like, oh, like there
was some – like I looked at a lot of this stuff because I wanted to make sure
that the money was going to a good spot.
There was one person who had a Facebook talk show that said like that Caden was
like this nine-year-old running around the school like sexually assaulting
girls.
And they said that their proof was that they read one Facebook comment that –
and they posted the Facebook comment and it said, oh, a friend of mine, his kid
goes to the same school and knows some girls.
This happened.
I'm like, really?
You're going through all this off of Facebook comment?
Yeah.
That's ridiculous, man.
Like, ridiculous.
Yeah.
Do you –
People were going nuts.
Is there – I mean, yeah, there's all kind of stuff.
Somebody – people said he opened up for Gucci Mane.
There was all kind of shit.
I mean, well, that is the problem is when UTA signs him and he starts taking
dates away from everybody.
We're going to be like, fuck you, Brad.
That's a great point, man.
This dude's going to be –
You know, they signed Bagel Boy.
Bagel Boss.
Yeah.
They had this kid named Lightning Rod – I don't want to say Lightning Rod.
Lightning Rodney maybe when I was growing up.
Some guy, they got hit by Lightning and they tried to tour him around locally.
Really?
Yeah.
He was probably moving major tickets.
Oh, he wasn't doing anything.
Maybe 40 tickets.
Nah.
Kaden will sell out.
Now, what about this, Brad?
Are there higher costs associated with being like a little person growing up?
Like are there costs that – are there extra costs?
Yeah.
Well, like just in terms of – I mean, at your most basic cost, most clothes
that I would like to buy don't fit me.
So, you got to get stuff that's tailored unless you just want to be walking
around with like a shirt that has Bob the Builder on it.
But I doubt you want that.
So, yeah.
You have extra tailoring and then plus a lot of little people have medical
problems, whether it be neck or leg surgeries.
I've had one dwarf-related surgery on my legs.
So, yeah.
They can get problems that way as well.
So, that's why I wanted to give the family a little bit of money just because
if those kind of things are coming up with Kaden, I want to make sure that they're
taken care of.
And that's what people who gave money to the campaign wanted as well.
Yeah.
That's dope.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's dope.
And it's really great and really – and people stepped up and we ended up
donating a ton of money to charity that's going to anti-bullying, anti-abuse,
anti-racism charities.
So, a lot of people are going to be helped in a very positive way because of
this.
Yeah.
I could not be more thankful.
Yeah, man.
And I know because I'm a dad.
I know you're a new dad.
Congrats.
It's like when I see stuff like that and I'm sure it's the same with you, it's
like you can't help but think like what if that was my child being abused that
way?
Like, you know, so it's great that you can – that you made an effort and did
it because I – there's things – there's times when I see videos like that
and I'm like, I can't – what if that was my daughter and then I have a chance
to donate and I just watch Pornhub or do something different.
But you actually went out there and made a difference, which is why you're
happily married and I'm, you know, single living with Don DePetta on his couch.
There's still time.
I still – yeah.
That's why I got visitation rights.
But you, you know, but you have a full happy family.
There's still time.
Brad, thanks so much, man.
And, yeah, at least Chris will be warmed up for your podcast later this week,
man.
Hey, sounds great.
Thank you, guys.
Gang, gang, everybody.
Before he hangs up, c