Name: Theo Von vs Brendan Schaub: You Look Like...
Uploaded: 2020-03-08T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von vs Brendan Schaub: You Look Like...' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von vs Brendan Schaub: You Look Like...' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-08. Transcript available.

You look like the assistant coach on the women's golf team at Rutgers.
That's what I feel like.
Oh, that's not bad.
That's not bad.
You look like the creepy high school women's volleyball coach who fucks all the
players
and then gets busted.
Oh, damn.
And then gets busted for it.
Come on, man.
You look like a high school lacrosse coach who fucks the players.
What are the players, boys or girls?
Girls and boys.
And it doesn't matter because it's all illegal.
It's all illegal.
But I just want to know from my own piece of mind.
You look good, man.
Nah, dude, don't tell me that after that.
Why not, bro?
Some of those lacrosse coaches are like dime pieces and they're coaching the
women's team
and then they just start fucking the hot ones.
Man, you look like the guy that gets beat at the first round of every video
game, bro.
That is frustrating.
That is frustrating.
You look like the kid who goes to the arcade but is too broke so he watches
everybody else
plays.
Oh, that was me.
Like, oh, bro, that move was sick.
Yeah, yeah.
Back up, bro.
That was me.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you.
Back the fuck up, bro.
My parents love me.
You have no quarters.
Get the fuck back.
That was me, bro.
And when that dude was done, I would go up real quick and try to touch the
controls to
see if it would still work a little.
Hopefully they still had some lies left and shit.
And then just push the little slots in for the quarters.
Yeah, man.
I'll tell you what else.
You look like the dude who goes to Dave and Buster's at however the fuck old
you are and
still talks that.
Trying to jump and crawl up to the fucking ski ball, pull the balls out and
still fucking
play.
Keep track yourself.
Bro, you look like Dave Buster.
That's who you fucking look like.
You look like a dude that makes shady carnival games, man.
That place is shady as fuck.
Dude, one of my friends went missing in there.
This guy, Jeremy, that I used to go to high school with.
Yeah, it makes sense.
I don't trust it.
Ever since now, you look a little bit more like Bebop and Rocksteady had a
fucking third
brother that tried to do music.
Can you pull up Bebop and Rocksteady, please?
Bro, you look like Casey from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with Down
Syndrome.
I don't, dude.
And I beat Down Syndrome.
You look like Casey, bro.
Yeah, well, I beat Down Syndrome.
I don't know who Casey is.
You don't know who Casey is from TNB?
From the general store?
Casey, who's always trying to fuck April, and he drove the van, had that
bullshit mask.
Dude, you're Casey.
You look like Captain Planet.
Instead of saving the planet, you just fucking suck cock.
Bring up Captain Planet for me.
You look identical to him.
If you're a superhero, you're Captain Planet to the max.
And he was the weakest fucking superhero, bro.
He was a captain of a whole planet.
Dude, that's you, motherfucker, to a tease.
Oh, look at the clavicles.
I could do more traps work.
You wish you had that body.
I will have that body soon, dude.
Get on them roids.
Back on them roids.
I'm not getting back on them.
Pull over on the side of the highway, start injecting that jacket b-ball, bro.
Dude, I don't even know how you get steroids anymore, man.
One guy, I bought something off of one guy.
There's Casey, by the way.
You look like Casey and Captain Planet.
The worst superheroes of all time.
Look at that dumbass.
That's not a superhero.
Look at that dumbass.
That's a superhero.
That's Casey.
He fights crime, bro.
Yeah, but he doesn't really fight it.
One fucking fat son wearing kid at a time.
Wow, bro.
That is...
He just looks like a guy that steals stuff from Hot Topic.
As he said, he looks like he protects Hot Topic.
Good luck stealing from that story.
Wow, you know what's crazy is my sister can't even read.
But what does it have to do with us right now?
Hope you enjoyed that video, and you can watch another.
And you can watch this one, you can watch this one.
Different options, different choices.
Some guy just brings you one option, not this guy.
Two options.
Watch one.
This one or this one.