Name: Bert Kreischer on Being Drugged by Ari Shaffir | w/Theo Von
Uploaded: 2020-03-21T16:00:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bert Kreischer on Being Drugged by Ari Shaffir | w/Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bert Kreischer on Being Drugged by Ari Shaffir | w/Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-21. Transcript available.

We've got a question right here from a guy named John Gu.
Looks like an Islamic slam.
Hey Theo, what's up? It's your bud John.
What's up, Johnny?
Johnny.
Johnny.
Totally gay best friend.
So, question for Bert.
Given that Theo is in a 12-step program,
and a big part of that program is acceptance and forgiveness,
do you think that you would ever forgive Ari Shafir
unintentionally drugging you and giving you molly?
So, hope to hear back.
Gang, gang.
That's a good question.
Now, he said unintentionally.
Yeah.
I think that's where we differ.
I think he was pretty direct in his intent.
Do you think he wanted to do it like just,
do you think there's something in him that's like,
I've got to get a rise somehow out of things,
and it doesn't matter what it is.
It doesn't matter if it's like, you know,
just his vibe of humor with the Kobe stuff,
you know, like, or not just Kobe,
but all that, going to the edge, you know,
I've got to douse my friend.
I've got to do this fire.
I think the two are separate.
I'll say number one,
I think Ari's always succeeded on those outer barriers of comedy,
meaning really pushing the edge,
really finding the boundary,
and then jumping over it.
Yeah.
Case in point, the Kobe thing.
I'm not going to go through Ari's list of the things.
But even the picture of him naked on the stage,
like he's always at the, you know,
he's always on the,
he's always,
he's on the dark side of the moon a lot of times.
Yeah, 100%.
I think,
I do think there's a part,
I think there's a part of Ari that thought,
if we do a podcast,
and I slip him a molly,
it's going to be the most epic podcast ever.
Yeah.
And everyone will talk about it for the rest of their lives.
And I think that was a part of his thought process.
But I do think that part of his intent was,
this is going to be a blast.
Burr's one of my best friends.
Molly's not going to kill him.
I'm going to give him Molly.
We're going to get high.
We're going to laugh.
We're going to hang out all night.
He didn't really calculate it.
Like, he was like,
I should have checked to see if his kids were in the other room.
I should have checked to see.
If he had to make dinner or something.
Yeah.
My wife was making dinner for both of us to have dinner with the girls,
because my girls loved Ari.
And he's like,
and he didn't check that I was flying that night.
I was starting my tour that night.
So there's a lot of things Ari didn't like check the boxes for.
He just kind of did it.
And it was,
I mean,
it's super regrettable because I still love Ari.
And we're still friends.
We text all the time.
We talk on the phone.
But like,
if my daughter sees me texting with Ari,
she'll take my phone.
She fucking hates,
Georgia hates Ari.
Leanne hates Ari.
And that's what fucking sucks.
And that I'll never release the podcast.
Cause I,
I just don't,
I know for a fact,
Ari thinks it's epic,
but I've talked too much about it.
So if you watch it,
you'd know too much about my feelings about what happened.
As opposed to if I had never spoken about it and I just released it,
it would have been,
I mean,
it would have been,
it would have,
I think it would probably gone off without a hitch,
but I talked about it so much that I just,
I feel like it's not fair to show,
it's not fair to show Ari being somewhat insensitive to a friend who believes
he was drugged and may die.
Right.
Cause Ari's just,
he's high and he doesn't care.
And I'm freaked out and I'm having a panic attack.
And you can definitely see all that.
And I know Ari feels differently,
but.
Will you one day put him behind a paywall,
you think?
No.
I mean,
maybe,
maybe one day,
like.
Release it as a movie?
Got to.
May,
I don't,
may,
I mean.
He's got to.
I don't know.
It's,
by the way,
it's not,
it's so crazy.
Like,
if you say you heard,
you were like,
oh,
there's outtakes on a reservoir dogs where they lose.
Remember there's outtakes on Lily Tom and losing her mind on Dustin Hoffman or,
or someone during a movie.
Tootsie,
I think.
Tootie?
Tootsie.
Something.
And they were like,
oh,
I want to see that.
And you,
as a fan,
as a fan of podcasts,
as a fan,
like a perfect example,
right?
When you and Bill Burr did a podcast,
and everyone was like,
bro,
what the fuck happened there?
I went right there,
excited.
I watched it.
I didn't see what I think everyone else saw.
Like,
I just saw you and Bill hanging out.
It didn't,
it didn't register for me the way it did for other people.
But I ran right to it.
I ran right to it.
People were,
it's on Twitter.
What,
what the fuck happened with Bill and Theo?
And I was like,
Bill's one of my best friends.
I've known Theo,
Theo's one of my close friends.
Like,
I've known Bill for 20 years.
I've known Theo for 15.
Yeah.
Like,
I'm fucking,
I'm going here.
For me,
it didn't like razzle dazzle me.
I can see what people were talking about.
I can pick up on hints of it,
but like,
it wasn't what I want to see.
So I know as a fan,
the idea that you'd want to watch me and Ari,
me get drugged.
I'm just afraid,
protective of Ari,
that especially with all the Kobe shit that went down,
that it would just,
it wouldn't help anyone.
Really wouldn't help anyone.
Trust me,
man.
Had I released it and that Kobe shit gone viral,
people would have grabbed that and it would have.
Here he is drugging a white guy.
I mean,
do I'll tell you right now when it happened,
Dr.
Drew said,
you know,
just so you know,
you,
by you telling me this,
I have to call the police.
And I went,
wow.
Then I made it up.
Then I don't know what you're talking about.
So if I put it out there,
it would have been,
I think it would have been a bad.
I already disagrees a hundred percent.
But wow.
So Ari says,
put it out.
Ari wants it out so bad.
Maybe I'll sell it to him one day.
There you go.
Yeah.
Now we're talking.
If he makes it big,
which on the rate he's at,
he's big,
man.
He's just fucking sabotaging himself left and fucking right.
He's the guy that killed Kobe Bryant pretty much,
you know,
and a lot of,
yeah.
And a lot of poorly written articles,
you know,
here's the guy.
And look at this.
The guy was flying the helicopters picture of Ari sometimes,
you know what I'm saying?
Dude,
it's bad.
Like,
bro,
things get mixed up out there.
It's a mashup.
Yeah.
You know,
it's a dark art.
He's so talented,
man.
And I think that when he does film the special called Jew,
I think it's called because he's a Jewish supremacist.
He's a Jewish.
Yeah.
100%.
When he films this special,
I think it's going to be huge.
And I think people,
I think it'll really,
I think people will see the,
the artist as opposed to like the,
the comic that we've all known.
Right.
The sensitive,
sweet,
fucking hilarious Ari Shabir,
as opposed to bloody ass rag.
By the way,
that's still part of his personality.
Doug Stanhope will piss on you.
And he's one of the most genius comics in the world.
It's like,
you can be both people.
I can make it two things.
You can be three things.
You can be four things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But,
yeah,
I don't know.
We didn't,
I like,
I remember asking if he wanted to talk about it one day on the podcast and just
through texting.
And then I never heard back from him about it.
But yeah,
it's interesting because if I,
if I,
here's what,
here's what you should do.
If you talk to him,
make him talk honestly.
Right.
Cause this,
here's what,
here's what is frustrating to me is that the,
not,
it's not even frustrating.
It's not even frustrating at all.
But like the part of Ari that apologized and the part that I talked to on the
phone at the end of the month when we hadn't spoken for a month.
And he had texted me every single day going like,
I want to talk to you.
I can't have this happen.
I can't lose you as a friend.
Like that guy.
Right.
That guy talking about it and talking about his experience through that way is
so fucking fascinating.
The part of him where it's,
where he shuts off and deflects and goes,
what?
It was a joke.
Right.
You know,
that for me,
I'm not super fascinated by,
but man,
I know the,
I know the man very fucking well.
Yeah.
And the sensitive side,
I would love to hear his perspective of it.
From our,
more human space and not from a character.
Because it's funny still like his,
like hit me and him talking.
The first time we talked,
I was driving to a plant of fitness and an Uber and me and him talked.
I can see that.
And we were just back and forth,
get kind of having our first conversation in a month,
but giggling and kind of like,
like,
yeah,
that was a fuck.
Like I'd say something like,
and then instead of going like deflective,
he was fucking,
but you know what?
That's me asking him to do comedy.
And that's offensive for me to go,
Hey,
this is how you should talk about it.
My point is I would love that side of already.
I would love to hear on a podcast.
Right.
Right.
Yeah,
man.
I mean,
yeah,
he's such a,
he's definitely a sweet,
nice dude.
I think he just has this,
wild character.
That is,
bro.
He is God.
There's this outlaw.
He's like the Jesse James kind of like thing.
He's like,
you can't,
you can't change that.
And then it's always going to be there.
That's his whole thing.
And that's a real thing.
It's not.
Yeah.
It's really shit on Bobby Lee's car.
Yeah.
He beat up Bobby Lee four times.
There's a part of Ari.
That's a fucking legit wild card.
I,
let me tell you something.
How do you beat up Bobby Lee three times and then go back and beat him up one
more time
though?
I don't know.
I mean,
it seems like it was an easy fight.
Yeah.
No shit.
Just a lot of uppercuts.
Oh,
dude.
Or lower cuts.
Any cuts,
dude.
You could easily,
any cuts you could use on Bobby.
Dude,
definitely.
Bobby fucking Lee.
Bam.
Bobby Lee.
Bobby Lee's so cool.
He really is.
He's one of his deaf.
Unbelievable.
Even good afternoon and other times.
Thanks for watching that video.
You just saw.
I mean,
it was okay,
but the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well,
you could watch this one or watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah,