Name: Theo Von & Chris Distefano - The Comedian Draft
Uploaded: 2020-04-05T16:00:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von & Chris Distefano - The Comedian Draft' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von & Chris Distefano - The Comedian Draft' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-05. Transcript available.

Here's a lady right here with a question.
Oh, for me?
Yeah.
Hey, Theo and Chris.
I hope you're both doing well.
So my question is for both of you.
I know Chris has mentioned he's played high school and college basketball.
So if you had a pickup game of just stand-up comedians,
who would be your starting five and why?
Thanks for everything.
Great question.
You want to go first or do you want me to go first?
Well, I lose by letting you go first.
Go ahead.
You go first then.
Okay.
I'm going to go first.
So this is a great question, by the way.
It is a great question.
Yeah, I do it like the playground.
Theo gets a pick.
Then on the snake, Chris gets two.
Chris gets two and then Theo gets two.
All right.
We'll do it like that.
Go ahead.
You go first, Theo.
Shit.
Years ago, they tried to.
Is this?
What was your first pick?
Years ago.
Is this live?
Hold on.
My first pick, I need a basketball player.
I need somebody.
You know, I'm honestly, I am thinking urban out of the gate.
I'm trying to see who's out there.
That's a good player that maybe used to play.
You're already taken.
I'm going to go with.
All right.
I'm going to go with my boy.
I'll go with Brennan Schaub.
I'll put him down in the paint.
Brennan Schaub.
Yeah.
I was thinking too, I want to only pick black guys.
So I'm going to start off with Andrew Schultz.
And then, so I got black.
But hold on.
No fashion in the paint.
No.
That's the only thing, bro.
No.
You do more than three seconds of fashion in the paint, you're out.
So I'm going to take Andrew Schultz as my first black guy.
And then second, I'm going to take, second, I'm going to take, I'll take Dave
Chappelle.
Wow.
Yeah.
Does he hoop?
I don't know.
But it's just nice to have two black legends on your squad.
Respect.
Respect.
I'm going to go with, this is so tough, even though I have this wall right here
to help.
I'm going to go with, give me.
You get two.
Hmm?
You take two.
Okay.
Then I'm going to go with, I'll go with Andrew Santino.
Nice.
And you go one more, right?
Yep.
And I'm going to go with, I'll probably roll with Leslie Jones.
Nice.
That's a nice pick.
That's defense.
That's defense.
Andrew Jones.
So now I've picked my final two.
Okay.
So my final two, I'll say I will go with my second pick.
I'd like to go with Eric Griffin.
Nice.
Yeah.
He's tall.
He can coach when he, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, no, I got to, I got to pick for who my coach is going to be.
Okay.
And then for the fifth, my final, I'd like to round it out.
I'll, I'll round it out with Bill Burr.
Wow.
Okay.
I'll round it out with Bill Burr.
Just a tough Boston guy that, you know, will miss one shot and start punching
people in
the face, cause a fight.
I like that.
Okay.
I want to like a scrappy white dude.
So that's Bill Burr.
Respect, man.
I'm going to roll then.
I need a little bit of outside.
I'm going to need a shooter from the outside.
So I'm going to go with, um, I'm going to go with, um, give me, uh, give me
Sebastian.
I'll take Sebastian.
Nice.
He stays in shape.
Yep.
And I could see him.
It might be really hilarious to watch, but I could see him somehow shooting a
three pointer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And those pants.
And I could see him jumping when he does it.
He needs to jump.
Yeah.
You got one more pick.
All right.
I got one more pick.
Then I need, I'm going to need a little bit more help down in the paint.
I'm going to go with somebody long.
I'm going to go with Chris Porter.
Nice.
Chris Porter.
Good evening.
Good afternoon.
And other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay, but the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could watch this one or watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah.