Name: Theo Von Opened for Suzanne Somers
Uploaded: 2020-04-07T16:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Opened for Suzanne Somers' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Opened for Suzanne Somers' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-07. Transcript available.

a couple years ago i was you know living my life and they said hey do you want
to come perform at
this function and i think it was like a couple thousand bucks they said do you
want to come
perform at this function might have been 1500 and just come in the back and we're
you know
we'll meet you back there and come in and you'll be going on the stage you're
going to perform for
a little while and then suzanne sommer is going to do it and suzanne sommer is
this lady
i mean she really she looks like she has a real strong kind of butthole on her
to be honest
and i know i don't i've never said that about anyone actually but it looks like
her you know her
little b-hole could probably i bet it could
i bet it could probably blow a bubble with some gum if it has gum in it so that's
what i'm kind
of saying look like she just has a really she because she's real strong she
always does leg
fitness and um glute fit and you know glute fitness
and glute is just so you don't say but that's all glute is
but um so i was there i go in the back i go on stage i perform it's a little
bizarre it's like all
these people sitting in there you know one dude has on like a top hat people
are like screaming you
know and fired up and um and there's like a clock that's counting down on the
wall like
you know uh i don't remember what it said like 40 minutes or something
so then i get done performing i go back backstage i haven't even been to the
front of the event
so they say look man if you want to go around front get you a little chocolate
cake
because they were doing dinner when i was on stage and they had just gotten
in to the dessert portion of the evening and i'll be honest i love a dessert
all right
you know i'm sick of people acting like we just like dinner bitch i like it all
okay i want dessert i want that i want lime slices i want it all bitch okay
that's who i am
i'm sick of sitting at the menu every time we get the menu we have to look at
all the other stuff first
but give me a menu that just has dessert on it and i'll be fine
okay i'll have nine scoops of ice cream
that's fine bro
actually i wish they served everything in ice cream
salad ice cream steak ice cream
pork chop ice cream dude i would have it
um
what are they talking about uh
oh so i go around front i go in and then i'm now so now i'm able to see the
stage from the front and see what everybody else is seeing
there's like this countdown clock of like when the new product is gonna launch
there's like all of these um it was called like uh
yeah it was like a vitamin thing like power vi or something or some
i don't know what it was dude and they had these patches you put on your head
and it helps you sleep and stuff
and one you put under your neck or whatever and it keeps ants off your body
they had
um
they had one patch they had like these other
yeah this patches you put them on your shoulder and you put
you know you'll never think about your ex-girlfriend or something or
you know they got these patches you
it's like um
you put them on the back of your legs and you can drive better just all kind of
bullshit
but everybody was in there and they were fired up and the new patches were
about to launch and
uh
and i was like holy shit man i just performed at a pyramid scheme
i didn't realize i was like damn i just performed at a pyramid scheme
and i look on stage and suzanne somers up there with that strong ass freaking
back you know
that back jaw
she got that real hearty back jaw
and uh
and
she was talking about something
magnesium i think or something i don't know but
but yeah we all get caught up
we all get caught up
good evening good afternoon and other times
thanks for watching that video you just saw
i mean it was okay
but
the next video you can watch could be way better
what if you watch a video right now that changes your life
well you could watch this one
or
watch this one
watch this one
watch this one
watch this one
ah