Name: Bobby Lee's Hilarious Threesome Story - w/ Theo Von
Uploaded: 2020-04-13T16:00:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's Hilarious Threesome Story - w/ Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's Hilarious Threesome Story - w/ Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-13. Transcript available.

I'd pay to watch you fuck somebody for a couple minutes.
You would?
It'd be funny.
Would you laugh?
I think you would.
Here's what I would do.
Yeah.
I would probably order a coffee or something.
Dude, I...
But during it, like, I'd watch, but it'd also be like,
yeah, I want just, like, a medium with almond milk, please.
And then, you know, so that way I'm watching and I'm cheering you on.
It'd be like the World Cup a little bit.
There's this dude named Mike Burton.
He's a comic.
Uh-huh.
And we did this gig.
It's Tim Burton's son, isn't it?
No, it's not Tim Burton's son.
You sure?
I don't know.
But Mike Burton...
Oh, wait.
I fucking know Mike Burton.
You know Mike Burton?
Yeah, he's like little and angry.
He's like a Jewie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Krav Maga.
Right, right.
He's always wrestling.
Dude, one time he put his own self in a headlock and choked himself out on
accident.
That dude.
Yeah.
And I'm just, yeah.
So I did a gig with that dude.
Yeah, me too.
And it was a feature, a girl.
I was opening.
Mm-hmm.
And he convinced her, because she did a bit about, on stage, about having a...
The threesome.
Mm-hmm.
So afterwards, Mike Burton goes, hey, would you have one with me and Bob?
She's like, okay.
We go to the hotel room, right?
Wow.
And are you nervous or something?
No, I couldn't believe it.
Right.
You couldn't believe what?
That he would include me.
And y'all are the same height.
I know.
It's cute.
Yeah, it is very...
We're the cute affair.
But I see him being aggressive and wanting to win the threesome.
There's always that I can do.
You know what?
I'm happy to be that guy.
Yeah.
To be on the outside.
I'm happy to lose the threesome.
What do you mean?
To do it, but also, I don't need to come in first place.
There's always the dude that needs to come in first place.
No, second for sure.
Yeah.
I'm like the tag team guy.
Yeah, yeah.
Right?
You go do your thing.
Yeah.
There's the hero.
Then you come in and take a couple body slams.
You be the head chef, right?
You be the head chef.
I'll do desserts.
Right.
That's my thing, right?
So we get naked, and they both just start cackling with laughter when they see
my body.
But I'm laughing too, right?
But I did it anyway, but the whole time...
Why?
You'd never...
You'd seen your body before.
They've never seen my body, though.
Right, but what are you laughing at?
Because they're laughing at my body.
Oh, okay.
They're laughing so hard, it makes me want to laugh.
I thought you were waiting your whole life to see your body, and this is when
you decided
to do it.
No, no, that's not it.
I didn't see my body, dude.
I have mirrors.
Yeah, but you could also not see your body if you want.
Like, I'll go sometimes...
You know, I remember one time I went like eight months without seeing my legs.
I understand that, but what I'm saying to you right now is that I don't think...
Even cavemen back in the day...
Yeah.
...where they didn't have mirrors, and they weren't that bright, they've seen
their own
legs at least.
Yeah.
They've even looked inside a pond and seen the reflection of their face.
Yes.
There's no one on the face of this planet that has an IQ over 50 that's never
seen it, right?
They've all seen their bodies and their faces.
I disagree with that.
And what you're saying is a ridiculous...
You think everybody?
Everyone that's ever lived on the face of this planet...
You're saying that because you experienced...
No, no, no.
I'm saying that...
What I'm saying that is, if you're a baby, right?
You don't know what a circle is.
Right.
Right?
You don't...
You know, even like a triangle, you're trying to...
In your head, go, what is that?
Right.
That's one thing.
But if you're over the age of five...
Let's just say anyone over the age of five, over the IQ of 50, they've all seen
their
bodies and their faces.
Yeah, over the age of 50, but you guys are young.
No, no, no.
50 IQ I'm in.
Oh, I don't know if that has anything to do with it.
I think if you're around long enough, you get to see your full body and...
I win the argument, though.
I'm not arguing about this at all.
I was just saying for eight months, I decided not to look at my own legs for
eight months.
That's all I was saying.
Yeah, yeah.
And I did it.
And it's a new...
You don't have a new experience.
You're like, oh, fuck.
When you finally reveal your own legs to you, it's a...
So you did that to your...
Wow, you challenged yourself.
Yeah, it's like a diet.
It's just like a visual diet.
Ah, yeah.
I did that with...
I was a vegetarian for a month.
Yeah, there you go.
Same thing.
It's not the same...
I was like a legatarian, dude.
You're a legatarian.
Yeah.
But anyway, finish your fucking story, man.
I don't even know what I was talking about.
You're talking about being at the strip club.
They laughed at your body.
Yeah.
Oh, no, with the two girls.
Oh, the threes were like hurting.
No, so we were cackling, but she would be blowing him, and I would be down
eating her out.
Oh, wow.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
At the same time?
At the same time.
No.
But we would be...
Bro, you're getting secondhand smoke, bro.
What do you mean?
Bro, if she's blowing it, dude, and you're eating her...
If she never blew me.
You're eating her out, you're getting secondhand smoke, bro.
I'm doing all the groundwork.
Oh, but still, no.
Right.
Bro, it's like you blowing him, bro.
Oh, you're like a centipede kind of a thing?
That's crazy, dude.
It's like a centipede kind of thing.
Bro, that's gayer than just you blowing him.
Oh, man.
Good evening.
Good afternoon and other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could watch this one or watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one!
Ah!