Name: Theo Von on ‘The Noid’ from Domino’s
Uploaded: 2020-04-22T16:00:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von on ‘The Noid’ from Domino’s' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von on ‘The Noid’ from Domino’s' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-22. Transcript available.

We had a caller last week, a fellow that called in, a young buck, and he was
having issues.
He was doing Domino's and delivering hot pie.
And we've all had it.
We've all had a little bit of Domino's.
Oh, and one thing, I don't know if you knew this about Domino's.
Somebody sent me this DM the other day and told me this, but Domino's Pizza
used to have a character called the Noid.
And that's not a racial slur or anything.
That's a, it's like a cartoon.
It was like a dirty cartoon boy that, you know, was sneaky and was kind of
Italian.
I don't, I think he wanted to be Italian.
It was like a wannabe Italian.
And he would attack, he, on the commercial for Domino's, this character, the Noid,
N-O-I-D.
And again, that's not any type of a race thing.
That is a, that's what they called him.
He would attack the delivery people or something.
He would mess up the order.
And so the pizza was going to get there late.
But Domino's, they said that we guarantee that won't happen.
Your pizza will be there in 30 minutes.
And you got to understand this was unprecedented for somebody to say from the
time you call our shop.
30 minutes later, we're going to have food at your doorstep.
Dog, that's gangster, dog.
Postmates don't even guarantee that shit.
Postmates don't guarantee, Postmates say it could be now, could be 70 minutes.
Dude, I had a lady one time, she was driving it over, got hit, got in an
accident, got taken off in an ambulance.
My shit said like three hours because she'd been at the hospital for so long.
It had gone up to three hours.
This lady had not dropped off my Carl's Juniors.
And this, I don't know if she died or what, bro, but that shit, you know.
I mean, it's a risky game out there when you're peddling goods like that.
But let me tell you about this.
The Noid was this little character.
And it was big.
He had a video game.
He had big stuff.
And Domino's blew it up at that moment.
They had pizza in 30 minutes.
What?
So the Noid, though, there was a guy.
Let me tell you what happened.
So the Noid, here's what happened.
On January 30th, 1989, Kenneth Lamar Noid, a mentally ill man who thought the
ad campaign was a personal attack on him,
entered a Domino's restaurant in Chamblee, Georgia, armed with a .357.
Gang, bro.
So you know the shit ain't going to end well.
And he held two employees hostage for over five hours.
Can you imagine that?
Can you imagine, first of all, you freaking working at Domino's and then second
of all, the dude rolls up with a .357 and held you hostage?
Actually, it's probably best because you're still on the clock and you can't
make any pies.
I mean, I guess you could, but the guy might get pissed.
I guess it's up to him.
It doesn't say if he ordered any pies or not.
It just says he held two employees hostage for over five hours.
After telling the employees that Domino's owner, Tom Monaghan, had stolen his
name because his last name was Noid, N-O-I-D.
He forced them to call Domino's headquarters and demand a hundred grand.
And a white limousine is getaway transportation.
What an idiot, bro.
You know how hard it is to hide in a white limousine?
Very hard, bro.
Unless you hide it like a...
I don't even know where you'd hide.
Like in a milk flat?
Like in a milk area?
After offering to exchange one hostage for a copy of The Widow's Son, which I
get is some book,
the Noid reneged on his offer after a police brought him the book.
Noid eventually became hungry and forced the employees to make him two special
pizzas.
Respect, man.
Respect.
While Noid ate the pizzas with his gun in his lap, the hostages escaped.
Noid surrendered to the police shortly after.
After the incident, police chief Reed Miller told reporters he's paranoid.
Noid was charged with kidnapping, aggravated assault.
It doesn't say he fucking assaulted him.
Extortion and possession of a firearm during a crime.
I wouldn't call going to Domino's a crime.
That's kind of judgmental.
He was found not guilty by reason of insanity.
Gang, bro.
Noid spent time in a mental institution but committed suicide in 1995.
Damn.
This incident has been insinuated to have caused Domino's Pizza to discontinue
advertising using the Noid as their mascot.
Wow.
So there you go.
That's everything that happened with a Noid.
And thank you to the young man that sent me a DM and told me that.
What else, man?
What else have I been doing, dude?
Nada.
Do it nada.
Same thing you've been doing.
Good evening.
Good afternoon.
And other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could.
Watch this one.
Or watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Oh!