Name: Busboy Is Life | Theo Von
Uploaded: 2020-05-18T16:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Busboy Is Life | Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Busboy Is Life | Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-18. Transcript available.

Hey, man, this is Max from Austin, Texas.
What's up, Max, from Texas down there?
And, yeah, Elon Musk said he might be moving his plant down to Texas
because he has issues with the way that they're governing the lockdown here in
California.
Onward.
And, well, I've been a fan for about two years now, dude.
Oh, thank you, man.
Thank you for the support, brother.
That's nice of you, man.
But I'm 15 years old, and that's important because, man, I'm getting a job as a
busboy, actually.
And I know you and Billy Conforto were busboys at around my age.
So I don't know, man.
I'm really anxious about it, dude.
I'm doing it to help my mom during this COVID time, dude.
But I don't know, man.
Just send me back some advice.
Gang, shit.
Love you, man.
Gang, bro.
And I love you, too, brother.
And I'm glad, look, I'm glad, first and foremost, that you're taking on new
opportunity to help out your mother.
You know, Mother's Day really is, it's a, it's a, that Mother's Day is just a
reminder.
That's just lighting the fuse.
The rest of the year is that candle, baby.
But we try to keep it burning for our mother.
And it's hard.
It's a hard relationship sometimes.
But I love hearing this, man.
This makes me feel, this reminds me that I'm a son.
And then I want to help out my mother as well.
And look, I'll tell you, man, busboying, first of all, you have to remember
that when you start out as a busboy, if you start out, like I started out bees
to the dub, baby.
Balls to the wall, son.
You know what I'm saying?
Nuts.
I mean, just nuts to the freaking drywall.
I mean, I started out just, I was, I was cruising.
We had bread over there, bro.
Waters.
Who needs tea, bro?
And we had two different types of tea.
That was the thing.
And one of the pitchers had a little orange slice on it, a quarter orange slice
on the, on the tip of the pitcher.
And the other one didn't.
So if people got that tropical passion tea, you had to get that orange slice
pitcher, hit them with that one.
And if they got that basic ass tea, you know, you had to hit them with that
regular pitcher.
And so we had that and water.
Those were the three pitchers we had.
So I'm running regular teas.
I'm running passion teas.
And then we had these kind of a very light banana nut muffin.
And these very light banana nut muffins, it was, you had to replace the tray.
And then sometimes they had butter.
Sometimes, you know, Big Lawrence or somebody, Big Bernadette roll in there.
And they throw six butters on a muffin.
Like, damn.
On a half a muffin, they cut it in half and stack that bitch up with that montequilla,
that butter.
So then we got to hit them with that butter.
Bam, bam, bam.
But it was constantly just moving and shaking.
But yeah, I had the apron.
I was cruising.
I had the rag stuffed in the corner.
You know, and I had one wet rag and one dry rag.
So I was ready for anything.
And I was smiling.
I was cruising.
I was hyped.
I was excited.
But what I'm telling you is this.
If you start out at a new position as a busboy, you want to start out with some
enthusiasm.
You want to, but if you start out balls to the wall, they're always going to
expect balls to the wall.
And what happened to me was over years, you know, I ended up using steroids and
creatine to enhance my performance.
And because that was my sport, man.
In high school, that was my sport, man, being a busboy and getting that minimum
wage.
You know, pocketing that M-dub, baby.
And so I was, next thing you know, I'm using D-ball.
I'm using Winstrom on test 200, test 240.
Some real questionable shit that came out for a little while.
But what I'm saying is if you start with, if you start at a level 10, they'll
always expect that level 10.
So if I could go back in time, I'd have started at a level 8.
I'd have known I was capable of 10.
And I would have ramped it up around there from about maybe 8.30 to 9.45 during
the heat hours or peak times, they call it peak business times.
That's when I would have ramped up my ability.
And then I would have ramped it down the rest of the time.
Because I burnt out.
You know, after two years, I'm having to do, you know, I'm on creatine.
I'm on, you know, I'm on uppers, bruh.
I'm, you know, I'm meeting up with people after work doing drugs.
Like, I just got burnt out.
But I was a, oh, I was Allen Iverson of fucking Dirty Tables.
That's who I was.
And anybody in Tucson will tell you that, that knew about that in, like, early
2000s.
So that's all I would say, man.
Go in there, be passionate.
But have that extra gear you can always go into.
And if I could go back in time, that's how I would do it.
I'd have that extra gear.
Because I kind of ran out of it.
Good evening, good afternoon, and other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could.
Watch this one.
Or watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah!