Name: How Long is Tekashi 69 Going to Live? | Theo Von w/ Neal Brennan
Uploaded: 2020-05-26T18:39:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Long is Tekashi 69 Going to Live? | Theo Von w/ Neal Brennan' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Long is Tekashi 69 Going to Live? | Theo Von w/ Neal Brennan' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-26. Transcript available.

I got a question for you. How long do you think Tekashi69 will live?
I think it's under a year.
Really?
I really do. I don't, I think he, I just think someone's going to kill him.
Like for all the, what he did, I don't see how you survive that.
And I also don't see how he gets bodyguards.
Like I don't, I don't, how desperate must a bodyguard be?
Cause you're, he's also going to die.
But bodyguard, that's your job.
I mean, you don't, I don't think you have a bunch of plans if you're a bodyguard.
You know what I mean?
Like I don't think you have like a bunch of, you don't have like a five-year
plan.
You don't have like, I want to be here.
Then I want to be a different kind of bodyguard.
Yeah, just be big and walk and get hit by stuff.
Yeah. Stand in front of shit. Get hit by car.
Yeah. Take arrows. Yeah.
Do you, but with that said, with that, will you be a little disappointed when
he dies?
I think he is, I'll say this.
I find him to be a hilarious cartoon brat.
Yeah.
In the abstract.
You want to talk about a living troll?
Yeah.
I mean, a living, a living, he's like, he's like, if you, remember that
Twilight Zone where
there's a thing on the wing?
There's like a monster on the wing in the plane.
Uh-uh.
It's, that's what Takashi looks like.
He just looks like, like a little goblin.
He's a goblin.
He's a fucking legend, I think, dude.
I mean.
I think he, I think.
I agree.
I don't think he's going to live that long.
Okay.
Is that what you're talking about?
Yeah.
Dude.
Yeah.
This looks like something Spike Lee would direct to me.
You're the 83 version of Twilight Zone.
Oh, it's a new one.
I like that.
No, but that one's good.
That guy, he's more of like a snow.
But dude, but here's the thing though.
His music is good.
Oh, yeah.
That's the thing is I've never listened to his music.
I will say I listened to XXXTacion after he died and I was surprised by how
good it was.
Yeah.
I was like, oh, this is like, there you go.
That's more what I was thinking.
But he trolls.
Oh, yeah.
I can see that a little.
Takashi.
Well, it's going to be a unique world that he lives in because he's always
going to have
to be in hiding.
Unless, does he have to go back to jail?
Do you know, Nick, if he has to go back to jail after the virus?
I don't know where it's at.
I don't think he's out because of the virus.
I think he's out because of the, I think he's out because he just did, he
turned state's
witness.
But here's the thing.
Did they even bust anybody that he snitched on?
Uh, I think they did.
They must have.
I don't think they, I don't think they would bargain.
I don't think you would get a, uh, uh, plea deal if you didn't have good
information.
Cause that's my guilty pleasure is going and watching his stuff sometimes and
seeing what
he's up to.
You know, I watched the video.
He's yeah.
He's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a living troll.
Yeah.
Like he recently, he tried to out billboard.
He was saying that, um, Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande paid to get number one
on the billboard.
Yeah.
He was saying that like at the last minute people would buy, you know, listens
to their
songs or something.
But I mean, I think that kind of stuff has always been like those charts can be
manipulated.
I feel like, yeah.
Well, what's funny is like the song is called I'm back and they mad.
Yeah.
Well, it's like, yeah, you, of course they're mad.
You fucking snitched on a gang.
He did lie or he snitched or whatever, but I can't believe there's so much.
Is there a lot of like, is there a real code of conduct between some of these
fucktards?
Really?
Like, that's what I wonder sometimes.
I think the only, well, yeah, first of all, it's like, yeah, Kodak Black don't
seem like
he has a real code of conduct, you know?
Yeah, I think the thing is you're not, the one thing you're not supposed to do
is you
just can't, if you're all doing crime, you can't, you can't flip.
Right.
That's the only, I think that's the, but none of them.
Yeah, that's a good rule.
Yeah.
Like none of them have, like you, to your point, I don't think that they don't
have a code,
but it's, they start doing it because they're desperate.
And then it's like, well, they made that decision.
They did crime because they're desperate.
They're going to turn because they're just going to, what's the desperate, and
if you're in
a desperate situation, he's going to take the, he's just going to continue to
take the,
I bet he dies of an overdose.
That would be more.
Yeah.
Because I don't, I'm sure his existence is a form of misery.
It's like angry and fucking, ah, it's, it's got to be scary.
Like your body can't take that kind of stress.
Yeah.
I agree.
The constant, like, oh, them, them, them, like them, them, them.
And you really do have people out to kill you.
Yeah.
To kill you.
Someone could openly say, I want to kill you.
And everyone would be like, even the cops would be like.
But is he now under, with witness protection, is he under, are police watching
him?
Like, are they protecting him as well?
I don't, that I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't think the cops are going to protect him.
But I don't.
Because that's the craziest program.
Which would change your identity.
I'll tell you what, here's a question.
We don't know this.
We definitely don't know.
All right.
What is Tekashi's plea agreement?
Good evening, good afternoon, and other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could watch this one or watch this one.
Watch this one. Watch this one. Watch this one.
Ah!