Name: Game Show: What does Theo know?
Uploaded: 2020-05-30T16:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Game Show: What does Theo know?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Game Show: What does Theo know?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-30. Transcript available.

the wonder of theo is that i don't know what you're gonna say from minute to
minute okay i don't know
when you're on stage i don't know what you're gonna say you're gonna so i so my
point is i don't know
what you know i have no idea what you know okay as i told you you you do in
your act you look like
a guy who who has matches right yep i believe that you look like uh if if i
could be anywhere
in the world if you text me and said i'm outside i would believe it okay i
would come and get like
just yep that theo's outside that makes any fucking anywhere in the world i
gotta go to get theo what
we're at the united nations he's outside he's outside he said he's outside yeah
okay i believe
that i don't know what so the question is i don't know what you know and i feel
like you know i know
you know more than i think you know okay but i don't know what the breadth of
the knowledge is okay
so we're gonna play a game show called what does theo know i want you to play
along at home maybe
you'll throw some music underneath this some game show music um play along at
home what does theo know
and do i just tell you things i know i'm gonna ask you questions and when and
then people will guess
whether you know it or not all right okay and i'm gonna guess too yeah you will
you will tell us
i'll tell you if i think you know you'll weigh in he knows you know what he
knows i think i know but i
don't know what you know yeah no one knows what theo knows all right all right
let's do it name five
members of the 1985 chicago bears i believe you know this you almost don't
because of your age but i
believe you can muscle it out all right i'm gonna go with your boy um uh sean gale
who murdered his
wife you know then if you know sean gale but i know that because i'm a dateline
fanatic okay outside
of that i'm going with your boy oh i will go with this uh uh the quarterback
that legend jim uh mcmahon
okay who i met at a golf tournament out in palm springs and he had this little
kind of thick jewish
woman as his girlfriend and she said he he goes this lady will always eat my
butt that's what he told
me which was kind of crazy i thought that's the sort of thing i expected you to
know and bro i watched
him drink 18 beers man at this yeah that guy's a while he's wild yeah and he
would stand up and he
would say that about the lady and he would kind of he had pants on he was like
kind of pull his butt
apart which was crazy yeah and uh and i think i got high with them actually but
um but anyway
so sean gale uh sean gale i don't know if was on that team that he might have
been after that team
but i'll give you sean gale and i'll absolutely jimmy man i'm gonna go your boy
richard dent right
there richard dent yeah if you know richard dent then you're gonna get it i'm
gonna go with
sweetness walter payton yep we're up to four and i'm gonna go with um of course
who else is it
it's that guy uh refrigerator perry yeah keep going who else do you know sean gale
the killer right
there uh who else yep he was on the team yeah he was i believe he returned kickoffs
i believe he
returned his wife to heaven too dude uh yeah ronnie rooter willie galt returned
for them oh willie
galt willie galt yeah goddamn dude black people used to have more much more
kind of old school names i feel
like yeah they had like it was before the apostrophes and the quans and yeah
willie galt you know they
had like southern they had like uh uh uh sharecroppers names yeah they had
definitely like holdover like
second third hand kind of yeah names like that like i remember like uh you'd
meet a guy named lilac or
something like that and you'd be like that is a you know l-i-l-l-i-l-a-c yeah
like the like the flower
yes or toby um or toby yeah all right toby's a little toby's a little toby i
can't get i can't
and you didn't even know i can't endorse that name can theo von name four films
directed by spike lee
i think you can i don't think i can but i'm gonna do it um i'm gonna say
audience think about your
answer before he begins first of all i don't like spike lee okay so that's why
i picked him he's a he's a
he's a political black director i think he just looks like shit i don't care
about the direct i
mean i yeah some of the movies or whatever i mean i liked definitely white men
can't jump and poetic
justice he was not involved in either of them are you serious he got game he
wasn't even close to
them were you thinking he got game with denzel that was likely i was thinking
about white men can't
jump white men can't jump you're thinking of he got game you're thinking of
yeah i don't know i just
think western times is overrated that's what i mean i shouldn't say i don't
like him i shouldn't say
he looks like shit i just you know he looks like somebody that fucking managed
a like a uh like one
of those places at the dave and busters we go cash in the tickets he looks like
the dude that managed
that for like 40 years and then i just don't think he made that much good stuff
what did he make
you so that's you can't you that's you could not answer no interest okay all
right that's the i
figure there might be a limit there but i'm surprised but i'm still surprised
oh well mac
mac i met malcolm malcolm x you ever see malcolm x fever i haven't seen malcolm
x i've seen the
original one yeah that's yeah that's but yeah from like 91 oh yeah that one
that's spike wow
yeah uh black clansman did you see that no i didn't see it either um jungle
fever she's gonna have it
uh nobody else bro he took yeah i mean he started taking l's pretty regularly i
just think it is
overrated i'm sure he's probably a neat guy yeah 25th hour people like that
movie i didn't like that
movie bamboozled he got game he got game you know what's great about he got
game it's just watching
ray uh allen shoot really so it's ray allen plays like a college basketball
phenom yeah and there's
scenes where him and denzel are arguing and ray allen's shooting jumpers and he
makes like nine
in a row from three at one point but it's in the it's in a scene and there's no
edits right and it's
fucking you never see someone shoot like that like it's fucking it's crazy
because you just see a guy
just make where you like are you you know you ever watch like steph uh steph
curry videos where he's
just like and you're like this is weird yeah like he's haunted electronics yeah
like yeah like he might
be a witch that's haunted by a video game yeah this one i think you will get
all right name three
people who have served as governor of california oh gavin newsome mhm uh sunny
uh sun uh i know this
i can't believe you're about to say who you're gonna say really i can't believe
that you i could
i didn't even remember this one i don't know if i remember but let me think uh
uh uh
reed i think his name was sunshine brown uh
sunshine yes jerry sunshine
sunshine was like his nickname yeah sunshine jerry jerry brown jerry brown uh-huh
wow
and uh oh viaragosa and uh antonin viaragosa no i don't think he was governor
it wasn't oh oh he was a mayor yeah yeah yeah i thought i those were the ones i
thought you would
get i thought you might get pete wilson there were there was a second governor
of he's really old
but his name was sunny james ralph sunny jim ralph no i did not even know that
he'll be honest did
you mean sunny jim ralph no that guy looks like he definitely has your he would
get sunburned he
does he would have to wear leather driving gloves if he drove my family around
look at that mustache
what a mustache that's a goddamn um all right question number four
theo what is it and do you think theo knows the answer does theo know what a
carburetor is and does
yes yes yes he does go i'm gonna say i think he does you think so yeah
this is the sort of thing i expect you to know but if you told me you didn't i
because
you're a carburetor i feel like
that carburetor boy
that carburetor
i feel like a carburetor takes heat off of the engine
what do you think nick
i have no idea
does it have smoke in it i'm looking at
carburetor
a carburetor
i like that you're trying to think of the times you've heard it
people talk about it yeah
a carburetor is a device that mixes air and fuel for internal combustion
engines and the proper fuel
yeah i don't know
that carb you gotta use that carb
and look what they call it in australia you'll like this
what a carby
a carby of course because it's australia
they put a y on the back of everything
i met a guy from australia the other day
um
that carby
yeah so carburetor all right so that i bet a lot of people are surprised you
didn't know
because i didn't really know and i still don't even now that i know what it is
i'm like i don't really know what that is
it feels like it's part of the engine
yeah it sounds like it is that carburetor boy
it is part of the engine but
i don't i
let's not count that one
oh i'm counting it
okay count it
so you did know the bears
you didn't know spike lee
you did know california
you did not know what a carburetor is
okay
here's one
okay
will theo know
what aids
is an acronym for
i think you will
i'm gonna go with autoimmune deficiency
syndrome
that is correct i believe it's acquired immune but it might be autoimmune
either one is right
nick
acquired but autoimmune it's fine
do you uh did you ever think you had aids and got tested for it
no i mean other people think i have it
really um i'm looking at me
um i've never think aids
no i know
the aids like something lesser
like hiv
like you're not full-blown
i think maybe that you had a neighbor
that had polio
that's what i would think too
yeah
i never know but you remember having sex
in the 90s
it was like a
it was
you
it was scary
it was
oh there was definitely a fear
think about it
like
really think about aids
more than i think about stds now
you would think
am i gonna die from this
oh i remember being so angry at somebody when i was young that i told people
they had aids
how old
oh man
like high grade school high school
now that i sound it out probably
graduate school
probably 29
wow
were they
it's not funny bro
i don't want to know any follow-ups
i don't want to know any more
it's not funny
did they have
did they ever confront you about it
huh
no man it's not funny and i hope that they're doing good too
okay
i believe you're gonna know this
name two books by ernest hemingway
oh i know this one
what did the audience think
kind of told me i would i would have guessed yes i think he knows literature
quite a bit actually
i hear some some crazy references pulled out
and i'm gonna go with sun also rises and moby dick
he did not write moby dick i had the same
yeah i had the same thought and i can't remember who wrote it did one of his
friends write it
who wrote it
oh man i can't even remember either it is
herman melville
do you want a third you want to guess a different one
hemingway
no i just knew that one they had us read in high school ernest hemingway
i never really liked him away man i thought it was good i think muriel's pretty
hot
but i never i haven't read any of it
you haven't
no
it was always a little
i don't know short i like the short sentences
he was like super into like outdoorsy guy shit right
yeah he hunted and stuff
like nature and boats and and he was like cameron haynes basically
yeah
this is kind of early cameron haynes i guess
um
all right
we did not
i'm surprised sorry folks he did not know
this one i think you're gonna know
name three songs
can you name three songs by def leppard
let me think about it
def leppard
uh-huh
i would say uh
it's not def leppard
um
no
fuck
i would have guessed you did
i would have guessed you did
i was gonna say cherry pie
that's what i was gonna say
that's warrant
that's warrant
yeah
that's warrant bro
i fucking love warrant
uh here we got the old man in the sea
for whom the bell tolls
that's
those are not def leppard songs
those are
that is uh
that is hemingway
books
in our time
sun also rises
fair wood of arms
do happen have not
for whom the bell tolls
the old man in the sea
good evening good afternoon
and other times
thanks for watching that video you just saw
i mean it was okay
but the next video you could watch
could be way better
what if you watch a video right now that changes your life
well you could watch this one
or watch this one
watch this one
watch this one
watch this one
ah

Game Show: What does Theo know?

the wonder of theo is that i don't know what you're gonna say from minute to
minute okay i don't know
when you're on stage i don't know what you're gonna say you're gonna so i so my
point is i don't know
what you know i have no idea what you know okay as i told you you you do in
your act you look like
a guy who who has matches right yep i believe that you look like uh if if i
could be anywhere
in the world if you text me and said i'm outside i would believe it okay i
would come and get like
just yep that theo's outside that makes any fucking anywhere in the world i
gotta go to get theo what
we're at the united nations he's outside he's outside he said he's outside yeah
okay i believe
that i don't know what so the question is i don't know what you know and i feel
like you know i know
you know more than i think you know okay but i don't know what the breadth of
the knowledge is okay
so we're gonna play a game show called what does theo know i want you to play
along at home maybe
you'll throw some music underneath this some game show music um play along at
home what does theo know
and do i just tell you things i know i'm gonna ask you questions and when and
then people will guess
whether you know it or not all right okay and i'm gonna guess too yeah you will
you will tell us
i'll tell you if i think you know you'll weigh in he knows you know what he
knows i think i know but i
don't know what you know yeah no one knows what theo knows all right all right
let's do it name five
members of the 1985 chicago bears i believe you know this you almost don't
because of your age but i
believe you can muscle it out all right i'm gonna go with your boy um uh sean gale
who murdered his
wife you know then if you know sean gale but i know that because i'm a dateline
fanatic okay outside
of that i'm going with your boy oh i will go with this uh uh the quarterback
that legend jim uh mcmahon
okay who i met at a golf tournament out in palm springs and he had this little
kind of thick jewish
woman as his girlfriend and she said he he goes this lady will always eat my
butt that's what he told
me which was kind of crazy i thought that's the sort of thing i expected you to
know and bro i watched
him drink 18 beers man at this yeah that guy's a while he's wild yeah and he
would stand up and he
would say that about the lady and he would kind of he had pants on he was like
kind of pull his butt
apart which was crazy yeah and uh and i think i got high with them actually but
um but anyway
so sean gale uh sean gale i don't know if was on that team that he might have
been after that team
but i'll give you sean gale and i'll absolutely jimmy man i'm gonna go your boy
richard dent right
there richard dent yeah if you know richard dent then you're gonna get it i'm
gonna go with
sweetness walter payton yep we're up to four and i'm gonna go with um of course
who else is it
it's that guy uh refrigerator perry yeah keep going who else do you know sean gale
the killer right
there uh who else yep he was on the team yeah he was i believe he returned kickoffs
i believe he
returned his wife to heaven too dude uh yeah ronnie rooter willie galt returned
for them oh willie
galt willie galt yeah goddamn dude black people used to have more much more
kind of old school names i feel
like yeah they had like it was before the apostrophes and the quans and yeah
willie galt you know they
had like southern they had like uh uh uh sharecroppers names yeah they had
definitely like holdover like
second third hand kind of yeah names like that like i remember like uh you'd
meet a guy named lilac or
something like that and you'd be like that is a you know l-i-l-l-i-l-a-c yeah
like the like the flower
yes or toby um or toby yeah all right toby's a little toby's a little toby i
can't get i can't
and you didn't even know i can't endorse that name can theo von name four films
directed by spike lee
i think you can i don't think i can but i'm gonna do it um i'm gonna say
audience think about your
answer before he begins first of all i don't like spike lee okay so that's why
i picked him he's a he's a
he's a political black director i think he just looks like shit i don't care
about the direct i
mean i yeah some of the movies or whatever i mean i liked definitely white men
can't jump and poetic
justice he was not involved in either of them are you serious he got game he
wasn't even close to
them were you thinking he got game with denzel that was likely i was thinking
about white men can't
jump white men can't jump you're thinking of he got game you're thinking of
yeah i don't know i just
think western times is overrated that's what i mean i shouldn't say i don't
like him i shouldn't say
he looks like shit i just you know he looks like somebody that fucking managed
a like a uh like one
of those places at the dave and busters we go cash in the tickets he looks like
the dude that managed
that for like 40 years and then i just don't think he made that much good stuff
what did he make
you so that's you can't you that's you could not answer no interest okay all
right that's the i
figure there might be a limit there but i'm surprised but i'm still surprised
oh well mac
mac i met malcolm malcolm x you ever see malcolm x fever i haven't seen malcolm
x i've seen the
original one yeah that's yeah that's but yeah from like 91 oh yeah that one
that's spike wow
yeah uh black clansman did you see that no i didn't see it either um jungle
fever she's gonna have it
uh nobody else bro he took yeah i mean he started taking l's pretty regularly i
just think it is
overrated i'm sure he's probably a neat guy yeah 25th hour people like that
movie i didn't like that
movie bamboozled he got game he got game you know what's great about he got
game it's just watching
ray uh allen shoot really so it's ray allen plays like a college basketball
phenom yeah and there's
scenes where him and denzel are arguing and ray allen's shooting jumpers and he
makes like nine
in a row from three at one point but it's in the it's in a scene and there's no
edits right and it's
fucking you never see someone shoot like that like it's fucking it's crazy
because you just see a guy
just make where you like are you you know you ever watch like steph uh steph
curry videos where he's
just like and you're like this is weird yeah like he's haunted electronics yeah
like yeah like he might
be a witch that's haunted by a video game yeah this one i think you will get
all right name three
people who have served as governor of california oh gavin newsome mhm uh sunny
uh sun uh i know this
i can't believe you're about to say who you're gonna say really i can't believe
that you i could
i didn't even remember this one i don't know if i remember but let me think uh
uh uh
reed i think his name was sunshine brown uh
sunshine yes jerry sunshine
sunshine was like his nickname yeah sunshine jerry jerry brown jerry brown uh-huh
wow
and uh oh viaragosa and uh antonin viaragosa no i don't think he was governor
it wasn't oh oh he was a mayor yeah yeah yeah i thought i those were the ones i
thought you would
get i thought you might get pete wilson there were there was a second governor
of he's really old
but his name was sunny james ralph sunny jim ralph no i did not even know that
he'll be honest did
you mean sunny jim ralph no that guy looks like he definitely has your he would
get sunburned he
does he would have to wear leather driving gloves if he drove my family around
look at that mustache
what a mustache that's a goddamn um all right question number four
theo what is it and do you think theo knows the answer does theo know what a
carburetor is and does
yes yes yes he does go i'm gonna say i think he does you think so yeah
this is the sort of thing i expect you to know but if you told me you didn't i
because
you're a carburetor i feel like
that carburetor boy
that carburetor
i feel like a carburetor takes heat off of the engine
what do you think nick
i have no idea
does it have smoke in it i'm looking at
carburetor
a carburetor
i like that you're trying to think of the times you've heard it
people talk about it yeah
a carburetor is a device that mixes air and fuel for internal combustion
engines and the proper fuel
yeah i don't know
that carb you gotta use that carb
and look what they call it in australia you'll like this
what a carby
a carby of course because it's australia
they put a y on the back of everything
i met a guy from australia the other day
um
that carby
yeah so carburetor all right so that i bet a lot of people are surprised you
didn't know
because i didn't really know and i still don't even now that i know what it is
i'm like i don't really know what that is
it feels like it's part of the engine
yeah it sounds like it is that carburetor boy
it is part of the engine but
i don't i
let's not count that one
oh i'm counting it
okay count it
so you did know the bears
you didn't know spike lee
you did know california
you did not know what a carburetor is
okay
here's one
okay
will theo know
what aids
is an acronym for
i think you will
i'm gonna go with autoimmune deficiency
syndrome
that is correct i believe it's acquired immune but it might be autoimmune
either one is right
nick
acquired but autoimmune it's fine
do you uh did you ever think you had aids and got tested for it
no i mean other people think i have it
really um i'm looking at me
um i've never think aids
no i know
the aids like something lesser
like hiv
like you're not full-blown
i think maybe that you had a neighbor
that had polio
that's what i would think too
yeah
i never know but you remember having sex
in the 90s
it was like a
it was
you
it was scary
it was
oh there was definitely a fear
think about it
like
really think about aids
more than i think about stds now
you would think
am i gonna die from this
oh i remember being so angry at somebody when i was young that i told people
they had aids
how old
oh man
like high grade school high school
now that i sound it out probably
graduate school
probably 29
wow
were they
it's not funny bro
i don't want to know any follow-ups
i don't want to know any more
it's not funny
did they have
did they ever confront you about it
huh
no man it's not funny and i hope that they're doing good too
okay
i believe you're gonna know this
name two books by ernest hemingway
oh i know this one
what did the audience think
kind of told me i would i would have guessed yes i think he knows literature
quite a bit actually
i hear some some crazy references pulled out
and i'm gonna go with sun also rises and moby dick
he did not write moby dick i had the same
yeah i had the same thought and i can't remember who wrote it did one of his
friends write it
who wrote it
oh man i can't even remember either it is
herman melville
do you want a third you want to guess a different one
hemingway
no i just knew that one they had us read in high school ernest hemingway
i never really liked him away man i thought it was good i think muriel's pretty
hot
but i never i haven't read any of it
you haven't
no
it was always a little
i don't know short i like the short sentences
he was like super into like outdoorsy guy shit right
yeah he hunted and stuff
like nature and boats and and he was like cameron haynes basically
yeah
this is kind of early cameron haynes i guess
um
all right
we did not
i'm surprised sorry folks he did not know
this one i think you're gonna know
name three songs
can you name three songs by def leppard
let me think about it
def leppard
uh-huh
i would say uh
it's not def leppard
um
no
fuck
i would have guessed you did
i would have guessed you did
i was gonna say cherry pie
that's what i was gonna say
that's warrant
that's warrant
yeah
that's warrant bro
i fucking love warrant
uh here we got the old man in the sea
for whom the bell tolls
that's
those are not def leppard songs
those are
that is uh
that is hemingway
books
in our time
sun also rises
fair wood of arms
do happen have not
for whom the bell tolls
the old man in th