Name: Theo Von Remembers Living With Mr. Kin and His Cats
Uploaded: 2020-06-24T16:00:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Remembers Living With Mr. Kin and His Cats' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Remembers Living With Mr. Kin and His Cats' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-24. Transcript available.

I remember a time I was living with this fella, and he used to train.
Well, he didn't train cats, but he would smoke some marijuana, and I would
smoke some,
but I didn't like smoking marijuana with this boy, Mr. Ken.
And his name was Mr. Ken, and he actually did some karate.
And he had some cats, and he had these two cats that already lived with him.
And then I moved in and took the second bedroom, so I didn't have any say in
the cats.
I can't move in and be like, oh, what are these cats doing here living with us?
Because the cats already lived there.
They were his cats.
He was a cat owner, which is how that's even a real term in the universe.
Cat owner?
Yeah, for now, dude.
Until Mother Nature fucking strikes back, and they got lions eating fucking,
you know.
They got lions, you know, just chomping down on the spines of whites and
Koreans out on the streets,
out on the streets of Memphis and streets of anywhere.
Then we'll see who's a cat owner.
You know, because Mother Nature's about to fucking fuck everybody up.
But anyhow, Mr. Ken would get high, and he would make me come out in the living
room.
He'd have all these empty boxes stacked up, and he would, the cats would climb
up and get
in the boxes, you know.
I guess one of them was kind of a show cat, and the other one was just kind of
a secondary
cat that seemed a little bit supportive of the first cat, and would do some of
the same
type of, Mr. Ken called them tricks.
I didn't think they were tricks.
You know, watching a cat when I'm high, or two cats get into a box, that shit's
fucking
stupid to me.
But I guess I, you know, I felt a little scared of Ken because this dude would
do karate in
the house.
We were both adults, man.
This is, we were 30.
So, when you're doing karate in the house, and, you know, y'all just met, you
know, there's
definitely, there's something going on there.
You know, that's that fucking, that's when somebody's nipping.
You know, that's when somebody's catching a little bit of the, you know, they
might have
a little bit of, you know, they might have the damn, they might have a, you
know, something
loose in their spine or something, and their brain stem might not be on 100,
you know.
They might have some of that ape glue or whatever it's called, keeping their
brain stem locked
into their spine.
But he, so anyway, we, I'd have to watch these cats get high and whatever
bullshit.
But yeah, that's what I'm talking about, man.
Fuck, I forgot what I was even talking about just now.
Um, by the nature, I was talking about the cats.
I was talking about, I had that roommate, Ken, and that fellow who, oh, you
said it's like
a tiger, it's like a cat, man, yeah.
I don't think it's like going into somebody's house and shooting a cat.
You know, I think it's just that, oh, oh, I was telling you this.
So, Ken, Mr. Ken, the dude who I lived with, one time I was moving out.
I'm moving out of the place, right, and nobody had come to see in the apartment.
I'm showing the room.
He's been advertising it because his name is on the lease.
So, I'm showing it, and this hot chick comes over.
And she, uh, she told, she, I showed the room, and I started flirting with her,
man, because
I couldn't help myself.
You know, sometimes I just cannot help myself.
And, and Ken told me, oh, I ended up getting her number.
And Ken told me, she left.
He's like, man, she's really interested in the place.
She seemed really cool.
Do not, don't hook up with this girl, man.
Do not hook up with this girl.
And I said, okay, Ken, I won't.
I promise that I won't, man.
And then, a few hours later, whatever, she and I are texting.
I invite her out to, we went and did something or whatever.
Then, she came back to the place with me, the room she was considering renting,
and we made
love.
You know, we made second, you know, we made first degree or second degree love.
Because I don't, like I told you, man, I don't shift into high gears when it
comes to sex,
boy.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm that artful, I got that artful idol.
I got that attack idol, but I don't have that third and fourth gear.
You know what I'm saying?
You might find me strutting out in second, but you're not going to see me in
third or fourth.
You know?
But, but I, yeah, I ended up banging this young lady, you know, and Ken was
pissed.
Ken was pissed, man.
And I think, actually, she ended up giving me the, whatever the, the, whatever
the one
is you got to get, salt pills or whatever to get rid of.
It's an infection in your wiener.
But it's something that you can get cured real easy.
Penicillin cures it.
They don't really have it anymore, but it used to be popular back in the day.
And she and I split a case of that.
But, yeah, you know, it's, uh, it's obviously been something that I've
struggled with in
the past.
And I think it's just that I'm, I have to, you know, I feel guilty.
I don't know.
I don't, I just have to, I need some attention.
Good evening, good evening, good afternoon, and other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But, the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could.
Watch this one.
Or, watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah!