Name: Theo Von & Andrew Santino on Ellen DeGeneres
Uploaded: 2020-08-04T16:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von & Andrew Santino on Ellen DeGeneres' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von & Andrew Santino on Ellen DeGeneres' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-04. Transcript available.

But it bleeds over. Look at what Twitter has done publicly to a lot of stuff.
It's turned things
into shit that never existed, right? Like, look at what's happened to Ellen.
Ellen's getting
murdered, bro, because of Twitter. They're saying she might lose her show. You
want to talk about
someone that might lose their show, not Jimmy Kimmel. Ellen might get fucked.
But she's notoriously
been a real piece of shit. But that being said, being a piece of shit isn't
illegal. That isn't
a crime. You're right. It's not a crime. I don't agree with, but also, I don't
even know what she
did. That's true. Like, my whole thing is, like, did she say, did she outright
say, like,
I don't hire fucking Asians or derogatory comments out loud? Yeah, gays, humpbacks.
Right. I don't
hire gays. I don't hire one-eyes, you know? She doesn't do that. No, so. That's
true. She has
the diverse people on her show. Every fucking day. And also, there's a thing
about, look,
at a certain level of power, at a certain level of prestige. Right. A lot of
your
character defects are going to be magnified so much. Right. Like, you know,
there's just no way
to do it. Like, she's basically, it's almost, it's almost like, I will say this,
it's like a
corporation. Like, people are always like, these big corporations, you know,
they're killing,
you know, Kraft Macaroni killed my son, you know? Even though your son never,
you know.
Didn't even. He never ate a vegetable his whole life. Yeah, did it. Had nothing
to do with it. You
know, he was in an auto accident. But it's like, people always want to blame
big corporations. Sure.
Because they get too big and they can't manage things at a comfortable level.
Right. That's the,
I mean, Ellen is a corporation. She is like a Trump Tower. Like, she's like a
huge building.
She's a business. It's not a person anymore. Right. So, if the person on the
first floor of
the building is upset that they don't get treated a certain way. Right. You
know, some of that could
be because there's 40 floors of business that have been operating. So, whatever
trickle down
kindness, it's just not there, you know? Well, it's also, didn't they, didn't
they say
it was more her producers than her? Like, from what I read, it was like a lot
of, they said
the executive producers were abusive in their approach or whatever. And it wasn't
a lot of
her. There wasn't a lot of quotes from her that I heard about her saying shit.
Now, whether
or not people say she was mean to them or disrespectful or whatever, that is
what it is.
But again, like we said, like, that's not against the law to be mean. It's not
cool, but I don't
understand what, why can't we just have a talk about it? Right. Do we want
people to change and
get better or no? That's a great question. Do we want people to change or we
just want to burn them
to the ground? Because I've yet to find a quote, if you can find it, where it's
like, direct from
Ellen said, fuck black people, said Ellen. Like, I've never, I haven't seen
that yet. I've just seen
them say, fuck dancers, fuck. See, look, it said alleged racism and intimidation.
That's so vague. Yeah, that's super vague. That's everybody. Right. Dude, half
my friends
are alleged racist, bro. And former employees say Ellen's be kind talk show
mantra is a toxic
war culture. Yeah, it's just, it's just. That's a vague statements. That's like
anything else.
You know who said, you know what somebody said? Like, um, uh, somebody had a
great talk with
me about, uh, uh, um, Chris Hardwick's thing, you know, when they said Hardwick
hit his
ex said he was emotionally abusive. Yeah. And, and, and who isn't, it's hard to
be alive.
But emotional abuse. What is that? That's a really vague term. Yeah. That's
like a stepdad.
Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Like also my, my wife said this, what, what past
relationship of yours,
your ex wasn't emotionally abusive, man or woman. You hated each other at the
end. I bet you were
fucking mean to each other when it was over. What current relationship? There
isn't some emotional
abuse. Of course. And manipulation because you guys are fighting over certain
things and
everything is context, but we don't know what was going on inside of that world.
I don't know what's
going on inside of that fucking world. Because like you said, that's a big
building, dude. Yeah,
you're right. And Ellen's in the penthouse. And I'm just spreading the fire. I'm
saying Ellen's a piece
of shit. I don't know any different. All I, yeah, I were, here's, here's what I,
you know what else?
I don't watch the show. So it's another world that I'm not connected to that I
don't really care
about. So unless she outright said, you know, Filipinos are the lowest rung of
human on earth.
If she said some shit like that, then I go, damn, Ellen, what the fuck? That's
edgy. Yeah. But
until then, that's false. And that's very false. Cause they're great. They're
great. It's the Thai
people that we don't like. Oh, everybody knows that. Well, I don't want to say
who it is, but it's
the, it's this mix is the Chinese. They call them the Chinese dude. Everybody.
I mean,
I work with a Korean and I have net. Oh, we have one in here sometimes on
Tuesday. Oh no. Oh yeah.
Try to kill us all. North. Huh? Huh? Who is it? He's, uh, I don't know if he's
North or South. Is he
North or South? I don't know either. No papers. Yeah. I work with a Korean
every day. Me and me and
Robert. And I got to tell you, I was never, ever racist towards Koreans until I
started working with
them. But it opens up a new light. You really start to see, you really start to
see who you hate. And
that's why I still work with them because I want to just, you keep your enemies
close. And that's bad friends.
That's bad friends. And that's bad friends. You keep your enemies close. And
that's bad friends.
No, I think, I think this whole, everything can get pulled out of context. Well,
I'll tell you why
I even say, why I even think this. For one, I'm jealous probably of Ellen. Yeah.
That she
had, I feel like she's at this point, she's gone to the point where she's
taking a job from a young
man. It seems like. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of how I look when I see her. I'm
like, damn,
she's taking some young fella's job. She's doing some young dude's job. Now I'm
not saying that's
a right way for me to think or feel either, but that's, that's, that is a
thought that comes to my
head. The second one is a friend of mine used to work security for her at her
house. Private,
like personal security? Yes. And said that she was a complete asshole. But also
now that guy was a
nice guy. He was a little bit bowlegged, honestly. Oh, I don't trust bowlegged
people.
Well, how did you get that way? Huh? How'd you get that way? What era did you
come from? Your
parents break your knees when you were young? That's that fricking polio bad
boy. Or it's
privilege because he rode horses or animals a lot. If you rode a lot of animals,
you can get bowlegged.
Well, if you rode a real small animal, then you're like us. Yeah. Yeah. You don't
get bowlegged.
But if you're privileged, you get to ride big animals, big, more bow. You bow
up. Yeah. That's the,
the bigger, the bigger, the bigger the bow, the bigger the privilege. That's
what I say.
And so that's where a lot of my, you know, I guess my disdain comes from. And I
think I just have a
general disdain sometimes for that culture. Now, if she asked me to be on her
show next weekend,
I might have a different opinion. I don't think you would go. You know, I don't
think you would go
on Ellen. I don't know. I just imagine if she asked you to dance, would you go
out there dancing
all the way down the aisle? No. Theo Vaughn. And that DJ and the DJ is like,
what's up, Theo? And
you have to do that thing. You're like, what up, dog? Yeah, you got to do that.
Hey, Stanley.
Hey, hey, diverse person. I can just even imagine. I don't even need to know
who the DJ is. I'm just
like, hey, diverse person. He's like, what up, what up? But would you go on
there? You would.
On Ellen? Yeah. No, I couldn't, I would have no business. What would I do on
Ellen? Well, I mean,
you know, like. You're more of an actor. You do acting. Yeah, but they're, I
mean, you know,
if anybody from my show, they would have Lil Dicky. They would have like, I'm
not the star of that
show. Even if I was the star of a show, Ellen wouldn't be where I would go to
promote the show.
Because nothing I would make would be Ellen's audience. Right. Ellen's audience
is moms,
middle-aged women mostly, you know? Yeah. Like it doesn't, they wouldn't like
me. You know,
like the content I put out, that's not what they like at all. I mean. Right. Kudos
to those that
are broad enough, but. Right. I think what we make is a little bit more
specific than that. Acting
or not. That'd be too hard. They'd be like, oh, I don't like the language you
used on this,
on this podcast I heard. So no. Good evening. Good afternoon. And other times.
Thanks for
watching that video you just saw. I mean, it was okay. But the next video you
could watch could be
way better. What if you watch a video right now that changes your life? Well,
you could watch this
one or watch this one. Watch this one. Watch this one. Ah.