Name: Local Trouble in Nashville | Theo Von
Uploaded: 2020-09-13T16:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Local Trouble in Nashville | Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Local Trouble in Nashville | Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-13. Transcript available.

Oh, I've already run into some issues here locally, I will say this.
At the parks here, I took a little bit of bread out there.
You know, I took some biscuit out there to the lake to feed to some ducks.
And you know me, man, if I'm in a new area, I like to get acclimated with the
animals, bro.
I'll pet an animal, you know.
I'll pick a snail up and walk three or four feet and set him down.
You know, save him fucking five days of travel.
That's who I am.
You know, I'll pet a dog, I'll whistle at a falcon, I'll fucking, you know, I
go out and feed a duck.
I see a duck, I feed a duck, and I give a duck bread, right?
But I give him biscuit.
I had breakfast, they had half a biscuit left.
You know, I'm watching my figure since I'm doing MMA now.
I'm strawweight, I'm currently female strawweight.
And so next thing you know, I'm feeding biscuit, man.
And these ducks are fired up.
These ducks are really keyed up.
You can see ducks in the distance looking.
You can see ducks that haven't even been born yet.
You can see a duck peek out of the egg.
You know, just hearing that there's kind of a new boss man in town.
You know, a new fucking yeast Santa.
You know, I'm out there delivering goods.
So I'm feeding, you know, I got half of a nice biscuit.
And this is an expensive biscuit.
It's probably a two and a half dollar biscuit.
So we're looking at a dollar twenty-five worth of biscuit bread.
I'm out there feeding these bastards over there.
Perennial Lake or whatever it's called.
Perennial Lake.
By the vestibule or something.
So anyway, I'm feeding them.
Next thing you know, I start getting, I put on my Instagram story, I start
getting DMs.
People angry.
You can't give them bread.
You can't give them bread, you know.
They'll die.
You know, they'll, oh, this is what they said.
Oh, if you give them bread, they get too jacked up on energy and they will rape
each other.
Look, man.
I'm not doing all of that.
I took a half a biscuit and went out there to treat these animals.
To get acclimated to the area.
If somebody else, if they're doing all of it, you know.
I'm not doing part of sexual abuse for animals.
I'm not doing any of this.
If they don't want bread, they shouldn't come eat it.
That's not on me.
People attacking me.
You're going to hell.
Bread boy.
And then sending me two caskets and a picture of a duck.
Emojis, man.
That's mother nature, man.
If there's a glitch in her pattern, she will work it out.
And these ducks look like they wanted the bread.
That's the thing.
You know, it's like, oh, they can't digest it.
They will rape each other.
Well, look, man.
I'm not, I didn't come to town to be part of that.
You know, I'm not doing no sex traffic and I'm not doing that kind of stuff.
I'm not doing, you know.
I came here.
I just, you know, I'm trying to get acclimated to the area.
Good evening, good afternoon, and other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could.
Watch this one.
Or watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah!