Name: Theo Von Training MMA: Week 2 Report
Uploaded: 2020-09-16T19:50:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Training MMA: Week 2 Report' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Training MMA: Week 2 Report' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-16. Transcript available.

What's going on? You know, I've been doing the MMA. That's what's really going
on, man.
And my body just feels, I mean, it's so you get in there. And yeah, I'm still
fighting
the women. I'm fighting the women and it's, uh, and they are, man, I'm glad
some of these
women weren't my mother because my mother put a good, you know, put a good A
whooping
on me. You know, she beat, I mean, my mother kind of lady, she beat both cheeks.
She'll
make you pull on your pants afterwards and make sure they're both red. Not one
of these
one cheek wonders. A lot of these moms, they, you know, they get one cheek red
and they give
up. My mom gonna burn up both of your little bottom hillsides, baby. That's how
she was.
You know, she's a hard worker. Uh, but yeah, what was I talking about? You know
what I was
talking about man by chance? I don't know. Um, you were talking about what's
current and you
were, um, doing MMA. Oh yeah. Thank you. So you're in there and you got a man
in your lap
and you in a man's lap and it's really, I mean, it's just so, it reminds me of
monkeys. When you see
monkeys in a zoo or a penitentiary or something, if you've ever been in one of
those, you know,
animal prisons in, um, uh, Bali, you know, in Bali, they have so many monkeys
that a lot of them have
gone and they put them in a detention, the bad ones, they put them in a
detention centers. Have
you seen any of this, uh, Riley? I have. Yeah. And so when you look at that
kind of stuff and
you see the bad ones, what do you, you support that kind of thing? I mean, they're,
they're
monkeys. Yeah. Yeah. I support all monkeys, whether they're, whether they're
bad or not.
Yeah. And well, yeah, I mean, I guess that's one way to do it, but I, for me,
if you're already a
monkey, that's risque for me. And then if you are a bad one, I, at that point,
you know, I'm not
trying to take one of God's animals out of commission, but we gotta, we gotta
thin the herd a little
bit. You know, you're a bad monkey and they're having detention centers for you.
It's too much for
me, for me at a certain point, you gotta stop the bus. But, um, anyway, but
yeah,
you get out there, you're doing the MMA and I'm over there and there's like,
you know, people are
being really helpful. It's definitely, you know, they'll have somebody will
show you the same move
30 times and I'll be in there for, for, for an hour. And all I learned was, I
don't know, I can't
even explain to you what I learned, like how to roll over. Okay. You know, it's
almost, uh, something
you would see a strong baby do. Everybody's behaving like animals. They're
behaving like it reminds you
when you see the chimpanzees, when you see the little mon, you know, the monk,
the monotontos,
you know, the crazy monkeys, whatever, you know, that's how they're doing. Some
are sitting on the
side, just kind of watching. A couple of them are rolling around. You're
grabbing each other's feet,
neck, you know, that sort of thing. Um, and it's wild, man. My, the tips of my
fingers are all sore,
almost like I've been playing the guitar, but the instrument that I'm playing
really is
it's, it's, you're playing like another person really, but the instrument that
I'm playing
is, it's almost like I'm playing my own, I don't want to say confidence, but I've
been,
it's like, um, it's like give these little scars from playing your own.
I can't really think of it, but that's what it is. You're just on the ground.
You're just
learning this thing over and over again. You know, when you're doing the MMA,
so, you know,
I was, uh, my fingers are hurting from, I think, becoming a man. That's what I'm
feeling like.
Um, and I know that sounds crazy, but, you know, I think I've been to four of
these, uh,
you know, I'm doing MMA and it's, I've been to four classes now and I know,
look, I'm not saying
that I know anything. I know absolutely nothing, but I just, I don't know. It's
weird. My hands always
feel like I don't know what to do with them. And then suddenly just a little,
my hands feel like
a little bit more like they're going to be okay. That's all. That's the only
little thing. I just
start to notice that my hands will, they'll be okay. Like, uh, I can't explain
it. It's just,
they feel a little more confident. That don't mean try me. I don't want
somebody to, you know,
come at me or hit me with a sword or shoot me or nothing or, you know, do
something, you know,
do anything, but yeah, it just feels interesting. Um, but that's what they feel.
It's the same
feeling if you've been practicing a guitar and you get those things on your
fingers. What are they
called Raleigh? Do you know? Calluses? Yes. It's just like that.
Good evening. Good afternoon. And other times. Thanks for watching that video.
You just saw.
I mean, it was okay, but the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a
video right now that changes your life? Well, you could watch this one or watch
this one. Watch
this one watch this one watch this one ah