Name: Theo Von Remembers the Mobile Zoo That Came Through Town
Uploaded: 2020-10-16T21:01:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Remembers the Mobile Zoo That Came Through Town' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Remembers the Mobile Zoo That Came Through Town' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-16. Transcript available.

Rally Mal, hit us with a news item, brother.
Well, in a British wildlife park, they have removed five cursing parrots from
public.
Okay, and when you say cursing parrots, what do you mean?
Like parrots that they're, what, casting spells on public?
I mean that they have foul language.
Oh.
Fowls have foul language.
Okay.
And any other information they're giving you?
It just says that the birds shared the ability to curse up a storm,
something they engaged in quite often.
Okay.
So they're doing it, and where is it happening, you said?
In a British wildlife park.
Yep.
Yep.
You know, when I was young, Rally, you'd see a, um,
when I was young, you'd see a mobile zoo was popular.
You know, and that was a man had a nice van or an extended van, even sometime a
church van.
And this man, uh, you know, a man would have a, uh, mobile zoo.
And so, you know, uh, somebody come through town with a chimp and a, uh, a
small dolphin
in an aquarium or something in a big van, you know, and you, you know, pay a
dollar, go see it.
Or somebody come through, roll through with two chimps and a beagle.
And that was maybe 75 cent.
You'd go see it, you know, see them.
And sometimes the beagle try to mate with everybody.
Beetle, beagle, you know, a deranged beagle will fuck anything.
And that's probably, that's practically scripture, man.
Uh, but we had a fella come through town one time and he had a couple of starlings,
I believe.
They were birds.
And, um, and they curse.
You go give them a dollar, half dollar.
And they call you the N word, call you the S word.
You know, call you a Jew.
For a dollar, they call you a Jew.
And it was just a different time.
Uh, it was just a different time.
You know, when a man, when a traveling zoo was more, you know, they didn't have
as much legal issues.
Nowadays, somebody, you know, you know, a friend of mine got bit outside of a
BJ.
BJ's pizza by a damn, uh, by a Australian shepherd.
And that's a lawsuit.
Whereas when I was young, you'd pay maybe 50 cents for that.
So we're living in different times, man.
Um, and I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I spent a couple dollars over there.
Because this fellow's little zoo broke down by us.
And you get over there and a starling would call you this or call you that.
You know, sometime for, you know, $1.50, you could get, you know, two N words
and a Jew out of the guy or something.
You know, out of the thing.
Or, you know, just, you know, you could strike up a deal.
And what kind of, uh, birds were they, Riley, does it say?
Um, they are the African, African, uh, gray parrots.
Okay.
So that's almost, I mean, let's be honest, bro.
If it's African gray, that's almost a black, that's a, you know, that's an
African American bird.
You know, I mean, I know there's different ways to say it and, but still, it's
like, so if they're dropping them bombs, is that, you know, I don't know if
that really needs, if that's article worthy.
You know, I get if you got a white parrot litter or something out there and he,
you know, you got a toucan and he's out there just humming in bombs at people
while they're trying to buy a mouse or whatever.
Then that to me is risque, but, you know, this sounds just like nature kind of
figuring itself out.
Um, you know, in the 1600s, 1700s, they used to use cows to find, uh, like, I
don't want to say landmines or, but explosives and stuff.
Not 1700s, but like 1800s, 1900s.
And they'd send them out there wandering out there, you know, until they, until
they detonated it.
So, you know anything about that?
That might have even been a Far Asian trick, uh, Raleigh.
Have you had any, have you heard anything about that at home?
Any, uh, on the home front, any long to family tales or anything like that?
I haven't, no.
Any of your family in any of the wars?
Iwo Jima, famous war.
Not that I know of.
Hmm.
Hmm.
You seem like you might have a little warrior in you.
Anybody ever told you that?
Um, no, you would be the first.
That's cool, bro.
Thank you.
Good evening, good afternoon, and other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But, the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could.
Watch this one.
Or, watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah!