Name: Has Anyone Ever Hit You For Repping the Wrong Team? Nick Swardson and Theo Von
Uploaded: 2020-10-21T17:43:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Has Anyone Ever Hit You For Repping the Wrong Team? Nick Swardson and Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Has Anyone Ever Hit You For Repping the Wrong Team? Nick Swardson and Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-21. Transcript available.

He's just like a hero amongst us.
Well, that's eating in New Orleans, man.
I mean, New Orleans is fucking crazy, bro.
New Orleans is crazy.
I spent a lot of time there.
I'm not welcome back, I don't think.
And what happened?
You get in an argument with somebody about a recipe?
No, I got in a fight about a football argument online.
And some people got a little upset at me.
Was that after the Minnesota Miracle or not?
Or before it?
It was after the Minnesota Miracle.
Or no, no, no.
It was after the Saints, that call where they got robbed.
That pass interference, no call.
Yeah, yeah.
And I made some side comment.
And you got a question about it?
It's semi-related to getting in tiffs about sports.
Okay, discussing it.
Okay.
Living in those...
What up, Theo?
What up, Nick?
Gang, gang.
What up?
I got a question.
I basically got this guy in a fucking broken cheek
for wearing a Pittsburgh Pirate hat
repping them Stillers Pittsburgh, you know what I mean?
But my question is, Nick, I know you talk a lot of shit
about the Minnesota sports when you're rollerblading down Reno,
living in those Randy Moss Culpepper days.
But my question is, have you ever been hit
or someone tried to fight you for talking shit about sports or something?
And same for you, Theo.
What about them Saints?
Gang.
Oh, and by the way, I don't live here.
This is where I work, just to clarify,
because I know it looks like shit.
No, man, it looks fine, dude.
I'm sorry what happened to your eye.
I think it looks fine, dude.
Yeah.
You turned into a black eye, it looks like.
Dude, that's...
Yeah, yeah.
That dude right there.
Yeah, that was the shiner, dude.
Yeah.
That was a fucking pop.
I have other questions about that.
Was it a sucker punch or was it fucking face-to-face
where this dude came in stealth?
That looks like sucker punch.
That looks like...
That's the blackest black eye I've ever seen.
That looks like Pittsburgh Haymaker.
Guy dodged it.
Came back.
Catch out.
Yeah.
That Punxsutawney Phil hit him with that fucking surprise gopher.
Dude, that Don Flamingo.
Oh.
To answer your question, being from Minnesota,
we're a little bit more docile.
Very docile.
So I don't really get in fisticuffs when I'm out and about.
I don't really talk shit.
And I know it sounds like a bitch move.
In person?
Yeah.
I mean, like, I'll talk shit and then I'll be like,
okay, I'll buy you a beer.
You know what I mean?
Mm-hmm.
I mean, not to say that, you know, fighting is just...
I'm not going to get into that shit because I'm on camera.
This is the fucking...
The Brad Pitt right here.
Oh, yeah, dude.
And I can't...
Fart jokes.
Yeah.
No, but I just...
It's not at that point, like, worth it where I'm going to go into blows.
You know what I mean?
I like just popping off, but it's like...
You know what I mean?
Minnesota, we don't, like, escalate it that much.
Now, what state does escalate it, I think?
Every other one.
Yeah, every other state.
You know, I'll say this, dude.
Minnesota is the one place where I feel like I have the toughest time with
audiences there.
They're just...
They almost don't want to engage too much.
They're almost just being nice in a lot of ways.
Like, they're loving the show, I feel like, but they just...
Sometimes they don't want to go too outside with imaginations because it's just...
I don't know.
They kind of just stay in some zones, I feel like.
It depends upon the crowd that you get, but for the most part, they're always
with you.
They're good crowds.
They get it.
You can kind of challenge them.
I mean, I'm not...
My comedy is always just me, but, like, other comics that, like, really push it,
they've
always done well.
Like, Doug Stanhope always has a great fan base and following there, and, you
know, he pushes
his audience.
I've seen it for...
Since I started, you know, for 20 plus years.
Yeah.
And, you know, there's certain comics where that's their thing, and, you know,
Minnesota
crowds, like, they welcome that stuff.
I mean, it does push, like, certain people.
You can tell they're like, oh, all right.
That was a war.
Yeah.
That was a wild one.
Okay.
Mr. Attell.
Yeah.
No more snickerdoodles for you, bucko.
How are you take...
All right.
But, yeah, so to answer your question, I haven't really gotten into, like,
blows and stuff,
but, I mean, I did go to an Eagles game, and there were a couple games I've
gone to where
I was like...
I mean, I went to an Eagles game with, like, a bunch of my buddies from Philly,
but not that
like that matters.
Yeah.
But I did see...
I go to Eagles Stadium for the first time.
I can't remember what it's called, but we'll just say Eagles Stadium.
You know what I'm talking about.
The Nest, I think they call it.
Yeah.
And so I go, and I walk in, and I see this Philly Eagles fan, Lincoln Field.
A lot of slam pigs out there, too.
This guy's at the field.
His hat's like this.
He's probably 30, but he looks like he's 50.
Oh, yeah.
And his hat's like this.
He's got a cigarette in the stadium.
Might be David Akers.
It might be David Akers, dude.
So he's chewing out.
There's this nice Ram...
They're playing the Rams, not a rival.
This is early in the season.
This guy's in this dude's face, in a Rams jersey, the guy, polite, quiet.
And this guy's like, fucking Rams!
We'll fucking eat you for fucking breakfast!
Fucking lunch!
Just in this dude's grill.
And this guy's just polite, just taking it.
And that's the first thing I saw, and I was like, hey, here we go.
And, you know, I don't know.
It was pretty interesting.
Do you think that they are...
Because I remember, I went to Philly one night.
This was the first time I went to a place called Manionk, and I ended up in an
attic.
Somebody said it was a nightclub, but it was just some guy's attic, you know,
who had some fucking hot electronics.
Right.
And between every song of Nelly that they would play, they would play the
Philadelphia Eagles fight song.
And then, like, they kept saying, who wants to fuck these slam pigs?
And it was like some kind of, you know, Ruben-esque type of women, you know?
Right.
Of age women, legal women, but who were trying to just do sex with everybody.
And it was extremely alarming to me, man.
I felt very scared.
And this was supposed to be at a fun, at a nighttime, at a nightclub, you know?
Right.
Philly is a conundrum.
I have great shows there.
My fan base there is awesome.
Everybody's so cool.
Yeah.
It's been great to me.
But it is one of those places where, like, you've got to just know and go out
with people.
Yeah.
I mean, I've had friends from Philly, out in Philly, and this is my favorite
thing.
And I don't know many places like this where they're like, I'll be like, yeah,
what's up?
And they're like, hey, Nick, what's going on?
Hey, we'll do a shot.
Let's shoot shit.
And I'll be like, it's my buddies from Philly.
And they're like, we'll play out of Philly.
And if you're from, like, some other part that's just, like, right outside.
Or maybe outside, but not in part of, like, and they'll be like, what are you,
you're not
this fucking guy.
Yeah.
Like, I want to do a show in Philly just called This Fucking Guy.
Because all my friends from Philly, anytime somebody says something that they
don't like
or approve of, they're like, this fucking guy.
This fucking guy, yeah, with his fucking pants.
No, you're not from Philly.
Like, Minnesota, you could be like, I'm from the border and a fucking, under a
lake, five
hours outside of Minnesota.
And they'd be like, oh, yeah, yeah, I know where that is.
Yeah.
People from Philly are like, what the fuck are you from a block away?
I know that fucking block.
Get the fuck out of here.
Fuck out of here, you fucking leper.
This fucking leper.
Yeah.
Everybody, yeah, Philly, everybody's mother has a fucking neck tad.
Everybody's, you know, got a neck brace.
That's a new hot thing on a lot of these chicks out there.
The fucking sexy, you know, the neck brace with the leopard print, you know?
The leopard neck brace.
Dude, I'll say this about Philly, man.
If you go up by Broad Street, up by Temple University, dude, it gets a little
dicey, okay, bro?
Yeah, I mean.
Dude, I saw a bird up there fucking selling coke one time, dude.
I'm not even joking.
They had a crow, and it had a little bag of fucking rocks hooked to its own.
I know.
I've seen that, dude.
I was fucking in Philly one time, and I saw cops surrounding a birdhouse, and
it was
a bird crack house, and they had guns drawn and everything, dude.
There was fucking five birds in there just flipping yack.
It's dicey, dude, just making it fucking rain.
Yeah, but I mean, I like Philly.
I have a blast.
I mean, I go out and fucking drank, dude.
Yeah, dude.
Like New Orleans, I love it.
I was bummed because people got mad at me, but it's funny because I sided with
that call,
so I made some joke about, like, yeah, okay, Vikings, blah, blah, blah, and
then people
were like, fuck you, and they're like, you better not come back to New Orleans.
Yeah.
New Orleans.
Oh, okay.
I was like, whatever, bro.
I fucking got to New Orleans.
I love it, and I agreed with the call.
States got fucking robbed.
I'm a sports fan where I'm logical.
Like, when I see something, I'm like, okay, if somebody wins and they play good,
I give
it up.
Me too.
I'm not one of those fucking delusional fucking loons that's just blind and
just like, nope, fuck
you.
I'm like, no, you guys got robbed.
The Saints got robbed.
That was my, that's one of the most insane no calls I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah.
Good evening, good afternoon, and other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay, but the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could watch this one, or watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah!