Name: Theo Von on Cancer Hair Options
Uploaded: 2020-11-05T23:40:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von on Cancer Hair Options' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von on Cancer Hair Options' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-05. Transcript available.

Hey Theo, this is Crossfire Joni up in Southern California and I just want to
tell you I just love your show. You're doing a great job. Thank you so much. I
have a question for you. I'm just getting over cancer and my hair is gone.
Thank you for calling in, Crossfire Joni. And I'm sorry that you have cancer.
You know, I haven't had it, but I'm sure I'll probably have it. And cancer, you
know, cancer is that ninth reindeer or whatever. You know, and that bitch is a
gangster. Let's hear more.
I'm starting to grow back, but it's still gone. And I'm wondering, what do you
think? Do you think I should wear a hat or do you think I should just go all
natural?
Okay, let me back it up again.
I'm starting to grow back, but I'm just getting over cancer and my hair is gone.
I'm starting to grow back, but it's still gone.
Yeah, hair don't like cancer. If you have cancer, your hair will leave. You
know, and that's age old.
That's, uh, you know, that's the cat chasing his tail right there. Let's hear
more.
And I'm wondering, what do you think? Do you think I should wear a hat or do
you think I should just go all natural?
You think someone to get your opinion on that all natural or a hat or a scarf
or something like that?
Oh, baby girl, you got to get a little, get your little hat, get your little
crown, get your little crown, baby.
Wake up with the king, mama, get that BK. Get that BK headpiece, get you a whopper
and get that free hat.
Do, you know what I'm saying? You could do something beautiful on your head. I
think enjoy it.
Embrace that beautiful little bald top, you know, and you can even flirt with
the guys.
Say, hey, the curtains match the drapes, you know, and they'd be like, you don't
have any hair, and you'd be like, gang, gang.
So I think there's some real opportunity there.
But yeah, I say get you a beautiful little hat, get you a little, you know, get
you that freaking little scalp cardigan or something.
Get you one of them little Jewish hats, that little, you know, that little hair
wallet that they wear.
Get you six or seven of them, stack them bitches up, lily pad your whole damn
head up.
But I think, yeah, be magical.
You know, get a damn edible hat.
You talking to somebody, it's going well, you break them off a day, you know,
30 calories of your cap.
Man, that's something, that's beautiful.
But I think those are some things you could do.
But I think you embrace it, and it sounds like you already are.
I think it's, you know, I think it's sweet that you even asked me.
I think it's brave, you know.
I think it's brave of you.
And you could also grow that skullet.
You could grow that skullet, and that's when you're going out of business in
the front, but you're still partying in the back.
Get that hang time off the back, that gang plant.
What else could you do?
Some cute barrettes, maybe.
Get you a couple barrettes, little canaries or something.
You could do some ear piercings that could be fun.
But, you know, it puts it in perspective, because I'm always worried about my
hair, and I'm worried about how I look, and I'm worried about this and that.
And here you are, you know, you can't even bring hair to the show right now.
But you're still showing up.
But you're still showing up.
And that's cool, you know.
You could do the key mullet.
Where you got that chemo with a little bit of mullet off the back.
But I say be just as brave as you have been in defeating cancer.
I say you be just as brave in sprouting something beautiful up top.
And have fun with it, because you just, even you calling and asking this is
inspiring, because you're just making me, you're making everybody that's
listening right now realize, man, what am I worried about?
You know, what am I worried about?
I'm worried about how I look, if my, you know, if my leggings match my neck
brace or whatever.
If you were in an accident or something after a, you know, cardio class or
whatever.
And the truth is that, you know, we got little ladies out here beating cancer.
And, you know, just saying, hey, do I go hat or no hat?
Yeah, here's what I say, put a damn nipple on the top of your head and break
out that third titty.
Tell them it's that third titty, baby.
But I think you're beautiful for calling and I, and just thank you for brightening
my day by sharing your experience.
You know, because you share your experience and your strength and your hope
right there.
All in one.
And that's pretty remarkable, I feel.
Good evening, good afternoon, and other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could.
Watch this one.
Or, watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah!