Name: Riley’s First Kiss | Theo Von
Uploaded: 2020-11-06T22:03:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Riley’s First Kiss | Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Riley’s First Kiss | Theo Von' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-06. Transcript available.

What's been up, man? How was the Halloween weekend?
Oh, man. It was fantastic, I gotta say.
Oh, wow. Did you dress up? What happened?
No, I didn't dress up. I just hung out with a few friends at their apartment.
Just hung out at night.
Damn, bro. That sounds kind of...
It sounds kind of Moulin Rouge a little bit. You hung out at night.
Who was this group? Was it just...
So, yeah. So, it was a friend of mine and his girlfriend and then his
girlfriend's friend from back at home in Memphis.
Oh, dang. So, was it a Quatuplet or whatever? Four of you?
Yeah.
Okay, nice, man. And what did you guys get into? Anything fun?
We did a few drinking games. Everyone tried to get me drunk and it was great.
And what's your preferred drink of choice?
Man, there's something called a Schofferhofer, which is...
It's a German drink.
They have all these different flavors. My favorite is the grapefruit.
Because my buddy back at home, Andrew, he's German and he actually gave me that
as my first drink to have.
And that's my favorite all-time drink.
Damn, favorite all-time, baby.
Yeah.
Nice, man. What else has been going on? Anything else?
Um, I mean, I had my, uh...
Ha, ha, ha. I had a first. A lot of firsts, I should say.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Like, what do you mean? Like a...
Like a...
Try to guess.
Okay.
Um, well, you said you'd had a drink before, so I'm guessing it's not your
first drink.
Nope.
Let me think. Your first, um...
Doing fireworks or something?
Nope. I've always done fireworks on 4th of July.
Amen, bro.
Not that.
Um...
Your first...
And you don't do drugs, right?
I don't.
Huh.
What happened?
Um, let's just say I had a first interaction with a lady.
What, bro?
You mean like a...
Like, what do you mean?
Like, first...
Like, are we talking sex, I guess?
Or are we talking...
Okay.
No, no, no.
Okay, sorry.
Maybe I was jumping to the conclusions there, and that was...
I'm obviously a tramp, but, um...
No, you're good.
Uh, what?
So, first...
Kiss, maybe?
Yep.
Bingo.
No way!
Yeah.
It was great.
It was a good time.
No way!
And so, what happened?
Take me through some of that.
You got this.
So, this is what the...
Your buddy's girlfriend's friend?
Buddy's girlfriend's friend.
Yes.
Um, yeah.
So, she is from the west, west side of Tennessee, and she came by, and so we
were just hanging
out, and it was great, and my friend...
And when you saw her at first, did you know there was any interest, or no?
No, I didn't think of anything at all.
Uh, that was the weird part, and so, I mean, actually, that was the normal part
for me.
Of course.
And I was like, okay, you know, you know, she's friends, you know, whatever.
So, we were hanging out, having a good time, and there were some times where,
like, so,
let me skip forward a little.
My, uh, my buddy Joe, he texted me, because we were all sitting next to each
other, so
he texted me, and he was like, hey, dude, look at the signs.
Um, and he was like, yeah, dude, that's all I'm gonna say.
And I was like, hmm, so I've been thinking past, like, that was later that
night.
So, I was thinking all the other, like, hours in the night, and I was like, hmm,
that totally
makes sense.
So, I was like, okay.
Oh, it all came in, it all made sense at that point.
Right.
At that juncture.
Right.
Called a juncture.
And, yeah, so, we ended up watching Nightmare Before Christmas, and I was, I
was kind of
drunk.
I was, like, not feeling great.
And so, she was like, yeah, do you want to sit on the couch?
And I was like, yeah, that would probably be great.
So, she took my hand.
So, she took the lead, it sounds like.
She did.
But the thing is, when she took my hand, she didn't take it, you know, like,
you know,
just holding on to me or whatever, grabbing my arm or whatever.
No, she literally did the full on, like, closed hand.
You probably can't see it because of the monitor.
Yeah, I can't see it.
But it's, um, that guy.
Oh, wow.
Like, the full closed hand thing, interlocking fingers.
And I was like, hmm, okay.
I can roll with this.
So, then you guys were sitting on the couch?
So, yeah, we were sitting on the couch and it was all four of us.
We were watching Nightmare Before Christmas.
And were you nervous?
Um, well, at that point, I was like, okay, you know, this is, this is fine.
I didn't think anything about, like, you know, first kiss or anything like that.
So, I was like, okay, you know, I was totally fine.
Like, you know, she, she was comforting me.
It was great.
She was cuddling with me slowly more and more.
And I was like, hmm, okay, I'm liking this.
Dang, boy.
And so then.
Feeling erect, bro.
So, then my, um, uh, my, uh, my friend Joe and his girlfriend, they went down
to pick
up some cookout from one of my friends that brought it for us.
Ooh, now that's always the moment, bro.
When, when the other couple leaves the room, suddenly the heat is on.
Right.
He took his girl with him.
Yeah.
He took his girl with him and I knew what he was getting at.
Of course, man.
That's bro code shit, bro.
So, then after they left, we were talking a little bit and then, yeah, we just,
yeah,
she, she made the first move and it was great.
She did.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
A lot of firsts for me, I gotta say.
Cause that's also a first, her making the first move.
Wow.
And so, how long did it last?
Quite some time.
I gotta say.
Yeah.
Huh?
The Jess Lockwood Ellipse over here.
Dang, bro.
And so, was there any, like, was it, did you guys just kiss for a while and
then separate?
Was there like a snuggle at night or what was the deal?
It was a snuggle.
It was a nice snuggle.
I gotta say.
Dang.
Were you pretty drunk?
At that time, no, I wasn't.
And you, did you get drunk or?
We both weren't.
No.
Okay.
No.
So, I know for a fact it was definitely real.
It was definitely something, not just drunkenness.
So, did you get her number or what's the deal, man?
I have her number, I have her Instagram, Snapchat, all of that.
You have mail.
And, yeah, it was a lot of fun.
So, she's back at home, but I've been texting her back and forth.
Wow.
You think there's something up, maybe?
Possibly, yeah.
Yeah, we were talking about it, maybe.
But she's coming back.
Yeah, she is.
Oh, yeah.
She comes back to Nashville about once a month, I found out.
It's suddenly how suddenly they come back once a month, you know?
Right.
It's just the old, it's the way it is, man.
Exactly.
Wow.
Riley Mao, you're growing up, brother.
First kiss ever, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
I was pretty excited.
It was a great time.
Dude, that's awesome, man.
That's awesome, man.
And was she a redhead?
Maybe.
How'd you know?
I just felt.
Is she really?
Yeah.
I just felt it, man.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
I just felt it.
Yep, she is.
Amen, man.
Well, we'll see, man.
It's probably downhill from here overall, I'm just saying.
I mean, it's uphill, but it gets to be a rocky road, brother.
True.
You know, there's adultery, there's all kind of stuff.
But you're just starting out, man, and that's what's important, dude.
I'm happy for you, man.
Good evening, good afternoon, and other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could.
Watch this one.
Or watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah!