Name: Truck Stop Sex Workers | @TheoVon & A Female Trucker
Uploaded: 2020-11-18T19:04:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Truck Stop Sex Workers | @TheoVon & A Female Trucker' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Truck Stop Sex Workers | @TheoVon & A Female Trucker' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-18. Transcript available.

Now, do you hear any stories about those places that's popular for swingers and
stuff?
Because I would imagine, here's what I'm saying, is if you're taking a spouse
out there,
if you're a man and you have a female sidekick with your wife, you know, or
whatever it is called,
and I can't imagine y'all aren't doing swinging, and there's a lot of swinging
out there in the Midwest, too, especially in Missouri.
Do you encounter any of that?
I mean, do you hear any stories of it?
No, actually, mostly what I see is men that are single out there picking up the
lot lizards, you know,
and they'll get what they want and then send them on their way, and then they
stop to the next truck.
Is it usually sex? Is it blowjobbing? Is it oral sex? Do you know what it is
out there?
No, I don't even know. I guess it would depend on the girl and how much money
he wants to spend, you know.
But, yeah.
Do you know the rates on any of it?
No, I wouldn't want to because it's literally like, you've got to worry about
them girls sometimes
because I've been told that they can actually lay underneath your trailer,
and as you're coming out to, say, if you're a man and you're standing out there
taking a piss,
they can cut you where you drop and you rob your ass, just like hostile.
And that's, you've got to watch them. I've watched them at night when I'm just
pulling in,
and it's 2 o'clock in the morning, and it's been raining. I'll see, you know,
it's actually raining.
There's a woman walking around in a pair of shorts and high heels, and she's
tapping on each door.
Well, it's dark. Can't really tell.
That helps.
But you see her, you know, going from door to door to door to truck to truck to
truck.
Oh, yeah.
And then the next thing you know, she disappears for about 20 minutes, and then
she's out again.
You'll see a light on in the truck. That's the dome.
Then you know it's, ah!
That's the dome, all right.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I know what you're doing. Uh-huh.
And then she'll come out, but I've seen them walk around the trucks like they're
looking for shit.
Right.
Or maybe they're going to disconnect something or pull something.
You've got to watch them because you don't know what they're doing.
Well, they have that famous documentary with Eileen Wuornos where she, wasn't
she killing truckers?
No, she actually was killing just random people that was picking her up.
Right.
She was prostituting herself out and just randomly picked out some dudes.
Do you see, is there any pimping or anything going on out there? Do you see
anything like that?
Do you know who's approached my trucks?
My truck is usually men, drivers. Other men, drivers.
Just wanting to, now are they asking specifically for sex or just kind of
flirting or just saying, hey?
Well, I had a Bosnian guy. He told me he was from Bosnia.
And he wanted to tell me how big and beautiful my boobs were.
Oh, yeah.
And I was like, okay, okay, you know.
Pretty cool. I mean, first of all, that is nice.
It was in Maryland.
You know, I'll tell you this, if a lady came up to my window for no reason and
said, hey, man, I like the size of it.
Well, this is kind of scary. You know, you're a girl in the truck by yourself.
You're right. My bad. You're right.
Anyways, he sticks his body halfway in my window.
Okay.
It's a beautiful day. I had the windows down, which is stupid. You don't do
that.
So he put his head in the window.
He was in, his body was in the window.
Up to halfway.
Yeah, I'm standing there making up my bed, you know, just kind of going to
stretch out or watch TV.
Yeah, the window's open. It's nice out.
Nice, beautiful day.
Next thing I know, I turn around and I was like, ah, I screamed.
And I was like, you could get a shot like that, dude.
What the fuck? Get out of my truck.
Damn.
And he's like, oh, hey.
Handsome guy or not.
It wasn't bad looking.
Now we're talking.
But it's a still.
Bring up Bosnia. Let me see where it is on the map, Sean.
Yeah.
Check it out.
Bring up a damn picture of Bosnia.
Because I asked him if he was Russian and he got pissed at me.
Oh, yeah. They get upset.
He's like, oh, hell no. I'm not Russian.
Well, just wear a sign that says Bosnian then, dude.
Because I was like, well, where are you from?
And he's like, Bosnia.
We hate Russians.
Yeah, they'll fight, man.
They love to fight Russia.
Yeah.
Maybe Google Bosnian man outdoors, maybe.
But, yeah, he told me that if he would hate himself if he didn't tell me that
he wanted to have a good time.
I was like, roll on, Alabama.
I ain't know.
No.
The bearded guy.
Look at him.
Look at that guy.
Down a little third row.
No, I'll tell you what he looked like.
It was more like the top roll up there and third guy.
That's the same guy, but, I mean, that's more like the picture.
Okay.
That's what he looked like.
Wow.
Handsome kind of.
Like you said, a little bit handsome.
He was okay.
Oh, yeah.
But it was just too weird, man.
Yeah, it's a bit of a heavy approach, you know.
You can't do the flake thing, you know.
It's kind of flaky.
You can't just peek in my window.
No.
Yeah.
It wasn't a peek.
It wasn't a peek, huh?
It was not a peek.
It was a full-blown, wow, Mipa in your truck.
You got big, beautiful boobs.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, my God.
It's like, I would hate myself if you would not have sex with me in my truck.
Did he say that?
Yeah.
Basically, yeah.
Oh, wow.
He wanted me to get out and have sex with him in his truck.
I was like, get the hell out of here.
At least he really laid it out, you know.
I guess.
Exactly what he was working.
Yeah.
Easy directions.
Because that's the tough thing.
On this podcast, we try to encourage young men to, like, at least shoot their
shot, you
know.
But that's kind of a shady way to do it.
Well, I'll tell you some funny stuff, too, about other episodes this way.
We had a, I was doing a dedicated run, which is the same thing every day.
And I was leaving from our shop, which is in Louisville, to Indianapolis UPS.
And coming back, same thing every night.
Well, started running into the same fellow that, in a car, right up alongside
of me, just
grinning and waving, you know, from his car.
And I'm like, yeah, how you doing?
And I'm driving on, you know, next thing I know, he's blowing his horn.
So I glance down and he's got his junk hanging out.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
His penis, huh?
Oh, wow.
Dear God.
Then he backs off, okay?
Then he comes back up alongside of me again.
He's grinning even bigger this time.
Oh, yeah.
His pants are down to his knees this time, okay?
Well, I'm sitting here just driving, you know, like, literally wanting to put
my hand
next to my face, you know, and just kiss here.
Because I'll slow down, you know, for them to speed up a little bit.
Then they'll go back.
And then they'll keep alongside of me the whole time, no matter what I'm doing.
Oh, yeah.
Regardless of the traffic that's going on around us.
It's just you and them in the world, huh?
Right, right.
It's like you're slow dancing.
I saw this guy five separate occasions, same stretch of 65 in Indiana, and I
named him
Jerk Off Jim.
Oh, yeah.
He's out there, huh?
He painted the steering wheel.
Did he?
Oh, yes, he did.
What color?
White.
Ooh.
That body glaze, I bet.
Yeah.
Damn.
So now you can see his penis.
Now, can you see from your perspective?
Oh, yeah.
It's the perfect view.
You can see over to the driver's side.
I can see everything.
Wow.
Inside of a vehicle.
Inside of a vehicle.
A four-wheeler.
So if I'm driving, right, and I have my penis out.
Yes.
Can you, and you're in a rig.
Yes.
How can you see my wiener?
Can you see it from, through the front window?
No, it's from the side, your side window, the passenger side.
So you can see from the passenger, from where you are.
So you're passing me.
Wow.
So you're passing me in the fast lane.
I'm in the slow lane.
It's two-lane highway, like I-65 is through Indiana.
Yeah.
I could see everything inside of your vehicle.
Your back seat, front seat, driver's seat.
So if I put my penis out, you could see it?
I could see everything.
That's awesome.
I could almost count the hairs.
Oh, wow.
That's it.
Almost.
Hell, yeah.
Look, I didn't know y'all had such good sights going on.
Oh, it's a hell of a view.
It's the upstairs view from, you know, seeing y'all from downstairs.
Good evening.
Good afternoon.
And other times.
Thanks for watching that video you just saw.
I mean, it was okay.
But the next video you could watch could be way better.
What if you watch a video right now that changes your life?
Well, you could.
Watch this one.
Or watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Watch this one.
Ah!